Pat Cald...

From: SandraDodd@...
>I coerce people into wanting to make changes all the time. That's
>inspiration. <g>

I really like that. Inspiration... Next time, I will try not to have the stone face. It can't be very inspirational!

>I remember a discussion with some of the total non-coercion proponents once,
>about persuasion. If persuasions a sin there, maybe it's just because
>they're not good at persuasion. I don't know. I think it's a great tool in
>life in general, and if nobody's feeling tricked or duped or embarrassed when
>it's over, then it was free will exercise.

What I lack in persuasive skills, I make up in persistence!

Pat

With kids, you were just stating some facts. If I say "The mess in the den
is really getting to me. Could you guys at least get your own stuff out?
And I need help with laundry folding." I'm wanting them to do something.
Lots of things. I'm just not saying "Anything still in here in an hour is
trash" or "Marty YOU clean it all up, because you've been the least helpful
lately."


<<Sandra, you were talking about angst you expressed when Kirby was younger.
Could this have been why Kirby is a better reader? Are there any negative
side affects from displaying your angst?>>

I didn't display it much, I just let it make my stomach acid dance.

There were two and a half reading lessons when Kirby was seven (six or
seven). Horrible. I would love to take those back. I was afraid of his
grandma. Everybody is. If he had read at two on national TV she wouldn't
have been happy. I just hadn't figured that out, quite, in those days.

I'm still aware of some thing, like my kids don't have good handwriting, but
having taught jr. high I remember kids who'd been in school for nine or ten
years who didn't have either. The difference is my kids haven't been made
to rewrite boring homework, or gotten bad grades in penmanship, or points
taken off a grade because they wrote something illegibly, or shamed or
laughed at in front of 30 people repeatedly for years. They're happy guys
whose writing's bad, instead of shamed to the core guys whose writing's bad.
Kirby's is starting to show some improvement. He wants to take driver's
ed, and he's learning to cook. He wrote down a recipe the other day. Nobody
made him.

Sandra


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