My dd16 has some questions
carnationsgalore
My dd16, Claire, lived with her dad & stepmom and attended public
school until she was 14. They are both school teachers. She moved
in with me just before high school began and finished 2 years of high
school. They were completely against her quitting school to
homeschool. She chose to enroll in an accredited correspondence
program to finish her diploma because she knew they wanted her to
have a diploma. But she has not done much school work this year. We
were talking and I suggested she post to this list if she wanted to
hear from real unschoolers.
From Claire:
I'm feeling very frustrated and angry because I feel everyone around
me expects me to do school and go on to college. I don't know if I
want to go to college. It makes no sense to me that something that
seems so useless right now is so important to everyone else. My mom
has mixed feelings about it. She talks to me about unschooling but
it is such a weird idea to me that I don't know what to think. My
step dad feels I should at least finish my high school diploma
because I'm so close and mom agrees sometimes. At the same time, I
know I do not want to finish this stupid coursework I have and I
don't want to even think about anything to do with school.
What do unschooling teens do? How do they learn? Do they plan to go
to college? How do they answer questions about what is going on in
their lives? My dad, stepmom, friends and some relatives are
constantly asking me what courses I'm taking, how my grades are, when
I will graduate, have I taken the SAT, what colleges am I applying
to, what major I want to be, where will I live, will I get a drivers
license and car, how will I get to school if I don't drive, and lots
of other stupid questions I don't have answers for right now. I just
want to scream I DON'T KNOW and DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW. Why do I have
to make these decisions right now?
All I want to do right now is hang out with my friends, play World of
Warcraft, and work 2 days a week at my part-time job that I love. I
work at a gelato and chocolates place and love making the
chocolates. I've thought about culinary school but my dad went with
me to visit one a couple of weeks ago and now he and my stepmom are
all into it and I don't know if I want to do it. It's really
expensive and of course they told me they'd be willing to help me pay
for school if I would live with them. I really do not want to live
with them again. My mom keeps asking me if I'm going to finish my
high school classes and I don't know that either. I just really
don't know what to do right now.
Back to beth again:
I know I've not been helpful because of my mixed messages. I really
would be supportive of her unschooling but I feel like she should
make a decision rather than waffling back and forth. I think she is
scared to not do school so she just keeps putting the schoolwork
off. Her dad has a similar problem solving method. It's like she
just wants the whole topic to go away, but then she goes to her dad's
house and they talk incessantly about school & college. Part of me
thinks she should just finish the diploma because she can show it to
them and prove she can do it. They told her if she quit school,
she'd never graduate and would be a failure. Their opinion seems
really important to her. She's also told me that when she turns 18,
she wants to move to another state so she doesn't have to deal with
them. I don't know what to do or what to say to her anymore. Most
of the time I leave her alone and/or tell her it's always her choice,
but her visits with her dad put us both on edge. Argh! But she also
refuses to stop visiting her dad because she really loves her dad
even though she's always uncomfortable at their house.
How do I help her when she doesn't even know what she wants? I am
not surprised that she doesn't want to make such big decisions now
but she's being pressured on a daily basis by someone or other. She
tries to hide away in her room but at some point she's going to have
to tell her dad about what she is doing or not doing. How do I
advise her?
Beth M.
school until she was 14. They are both school teachers. She moved
in with me just before high school began and finished 2 years of high
school. They were completely against her quitting school to
homeschool. She chose to enroll in an accredited correspondence
program to finish her diploma because she knew they wanted her to
have a diploma. But she has not done much school work this year. We
were talking and I suggested she post to this list if she wanted to
hear from real unschoolers.
From Claire:
I'm feeling very frustrated and angry because I feel everyone around
me expects me to do school and go on to college. I don't know if I
want to go to college. It makes no sense to me that something that
seems so useless right now is so important to everyone else. My mom
has mixed feelings about it. She talks to me about unschooling but
it is such a weird idea to me that I don't know what to think. My
step dad feels I should at least finish my high school diploma
because I'm so close and mom agrees sometimes. At the same time, I
know I do not want to finish this stupid coursework I have and I
don't want to even think about anything to do with school.
What do unschooling teens do? How do they learn? Do they plan to go
to college? How do they answer questions about what is going on in
their lives? My dad, stepmom, friends and some relatives are
constantly asking me what courses I'm taking, how my grades are, when
I will graduate, have I taken the SAT, what colleges am I applying
to, what major I want to be, where will I live, will I get a drivers
license and car, how will I get to school if I don't drive, and lots
of other stupid questions I don't have answers for right now. I just
want to scream I DON'T KNOW and DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW. Why do I have
to make these decisions right now?
All I want to do right now is hang out with my friends, play World of
Warcraft, and work 2 days a week at my part-time job that I love. I
work at a gelato and chocolates place and love making the
chocolates. I've thought about culinary school but my dad went with
me to visit one a couple of weeks ago and now he and my stepmom are
all into it and I don't know if I want to do it. It's really
expensive and of course they told me they'd be willing to help me pay
for school if I would live with them. I really do not want to live
with them again. My mom keeps asking me if I'm going to finish my
high school classes and I don't know that either. I just really
don't know what to do right now.
Back to beth again:
I know I've not been helpful because of my mixed messages. I really
would be supportive of her unschooling but I feel like she should
make a decision rather than waffling back and forth. I think she is
scared to not do school so she just keeps putting the schoolwork
off. Her dad has a similar problem solving method. It's like she
just wants the whole topic to go away, but then she goes to her dad's
house and they talk incessantly about school & college. Part of me
thinks she should just finish the diploma because she can show it to
them and prove she can do it. They told her if she quit school,
she'd never graduate and would be a failure. Their opinion seems
really important to her. She's also told me that when she turns 18,
she wants to move to another state so she doesn't have to deal with
them. I don't know what to do or what to say to her anymore. Most
of the time I leave her alone and/or tell her it's always her choice,
but her visits with her dad put us both on edge. Argh! But she also
refuses to stop visiting her dad because she really loves her dad
even though she's always uncomfortable at their house.
How do I help her when she doesn't even know what she wants? I am
not surprised that she doesn't want to make such big decisions now
but she's being pressured on a daily basis by someone or other. She
tries to hide away in her room but at some point she's going to have
to tell her dad about what she is doing or not doing. How do I
advise her?
Beth M.
Sandra Dodd
-=- She
tries to hide away in her room but at some point she's going to have
to tell her dad about what she is doing or not doing. How do I
advise her?=-
If the conditions under which she was allowed to live with you were
that she would finish that coursework and you all agreed to it, can
you help her with it? Can you sit and have your hand on the pencil
and talk her through it as quickly as possible and just get it done?
This is an out-there idea, but maybe you could look into the cost of
in-patient treatment for teen angst and depression (whatever those
hospitals are where families put teens they can't deal with) and get
prices. Then tell him she needs a mental health break of at least six
months, and if she goes to the treatment place it will be umpty-
thousand dollars and she'll always have to list that on resumes and
questionnaires forever, OR she could have a break at your house, a
REAL break from school and talking about school, SOLID, and the break
starts over everyone someone breaks school-subject silence.
If you sell it well, it might sound inexpensive and easy.
Meanwhile, let her read here:
http://sandradodd.com/teen
http://sandradodd.com/teens (I don't think either page has everything
the other one does)
http://sandradodd.com/chats/WoW and to save that link because another
thing is coming in a few days.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tries to hide away in her room but at some point she's going to have
to tell her dad about what she is doing or not doing. How do I
advise her?=-
If the conditions under which she was allowed to live with you were
that she would finish that coursework and you all agreed to it, can
you help her with it? Can you sit and have your hand on the pencil
and talk her through it as quickly as possible and just get it done?
This is an out-there idea, but maybe you could look into the cost of
in-patient treatment for teen angst and depression (whatever those
hospitals are where families put teens they can't deal with) and get
prices. Then tell him she needs a mental health break of at least six
months, and if she goes to the treatment place it will be umpty-
thousand dollars and she'll always have to list that on resumes and
questionnaires forever, OR she could have a break at your house, a
REAL break from school and talking about school, SOLID, and the break
starts over everyone someone breaks school-subject silence.
If you sell it well, it might sound inexpensive and easy.
Meanwhile, let her read here:
http://sandradodd.com/teen
http://sandradodd.com/teens (I don't think either page has everything
the other one does)
http://sandradodd.com/chats/WoW and to save that link because another
thing is coming in a few days.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
The pressure expressed in this post is incredible. My reaction is, like Sandra's, to arrange
for some kind of a break. Is it possible to take some amount of time off from school, and
then to go back to it if that is Claire's decision? Is the time pressure real or imagined?
To Claire:
My unschooling teen does what he wants to do most of the time. He is 13 1/2, which is
different than 16, but I'm still going back to the question in my mind, which is why is a 16
year old experiencing this much pressure from parents regarding the future? Where is the
support and space for Claire to figure out what she would like to do?
The moment Claire expressed an interest in cooking, a whole future was laid out for
culinary school. There just needs to be more breathing room in the whole situation!
How do they learn?
By following his own interests. By having ideas and then doing them, or not. By spending
lots of time on the computer with the resources of the world at his fingertips. By
conversing with adults and other kids, and reading and listening and watching, and
watching t.v. By going places. By me and others helping to draw historical connections to
current events.
Do they plan to go
pretty academic. We won't know about my daughter because her interests have always
been very different. It will largely depend on what she wants to do, and whether college
can support that or not.
My own experience is that my own interests weren't particularly supported, but I was
"required" to go to college. I wish that I had worked for a few years and just lived my life,
because I never found what I really wanted to do that was college related. I ended up with
two degrees that I have kind of used, but not really.
My take away message was that college needs to serve us. College necessarily lead to an
end in and of itself--it is a tool for furthering goals.
How do they answer questions about what is going on in
to have answers to all this stuff. If they are just trying to make conversation, maybe you
can be more proactive and talk about a hobby or interest you are into right now. Or
perhaps you can come up with a good answer that would stop questions, like, "I am going
to take classes at the JC until I decide for sure." And that can be a good way to try some
different things, like cooking classes, without all the hefty financial commitment. And,
although I wouldn't want to be quoted about this, I think that once you have a JC
background, many colleges don't care much about whether you have a diploma or not,
because you'd be a transfer student rather than an incoming freshman.
To Mom:
Can you talk with your ex and try get the "heat" off? Maybe explaining that this is causing
depression or nervous condition, or something along those lines?
It just really feels like she needs more space, and to not feel like there is a race that she is
constantly losing. It's not true, you know. There is no race. If she doesn't go to college
now, now, now, she could choose to go later. The money could be put aside for her for
when she is ready--or as a down payment on a house is she chooses not to go.
for some kind of a break. Is it possible to take some amount of time off from school, and
then to go back to it if that is Claire's decision? Is the time pressure real or imagined?
To Claire:
>What do unschooling teens do?
My unschooling teen does what he wants to do most of the time. He is 13 1/2, which is
different than 16, but I'm still going back to the question in my mind, which is why is a 16
year old experiencing this much pressure from parents regarding the future? Where is the
support and space for Claire to figure out what she would like to do?
The moment Claire expressed an interest in cooking, a whole future was laid out for
culinary school. There just needs to be more breathing room in the whole situation!
How do they learn?
By following his own interests. By having ideas and then doing them, or not. By spending
lots of time on the computer with the resources of the world at his fingertips. By
conversing with adults and other kids, and reading and listening and watching, and
watching t.v. By going places. By me and others helping to draw historical connections to
current events.
Do they plan to go
> to college?He is planning that he will go to college, because all of his major fields of interest are
pretty academic. We won't know about my daughter because her interests have always
been very different. It will largely depend on what she wants to do, and whether college
can support that or not.
My own experience is that my own interests weren't particularly supported, but I was
"required" to go to college. I wish that I had worked for a few years and just lived my life,
because I never found what I really wanted to do that was college related. I ended up with
two degrees that I have kind of used, but not really.
My take away message was that college needs to serve us. College necessarily lead to an
end in and of itself--it is a tool for furthering goals.
How do they answer questions about what is going on in
> their lives?I wasn't even aware that 16 year olds are already applying to colleges. It seems too soon
to have answers to all this stuff. If they are just trying to make conversation, maybe you
can be more proactive and talk about a hobby or interest you are into right now. Or
perhaps you can come up with a good answer that would stop questions, like, "I am going
to take classes at the JC until I decide for sure." And that can be a good way to try some
different things, like cooking classes, without all the hefty financial commitment. And,
although I wouldn't want to be quoted about this, I think that once you have a JC
background, many colleges don't care much about whether you have a diploma or not,
because you'd be a transfer student rather than an incoming freshman.
To Mom:
Can you talk with your ex and try get the "heat" off? Maybe explaining that this is causing
depression or nervous condition, or something along those lines?
It just really feels like she needs more space, and to not feel like there is a race that she is
constantly losing. It's not true, you know. There is no race. If she doesn't go to college
now, now, now, she could choose to go later. The money could be put aside for her for
when she is ready--or as a down payment on a house is she chooses not to go.
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-If they are just trying to make conversation-=-
And they probably are--it's another version of "what grade are you
in? Do you like your teacher? What's your favorite subject?"
-=-...maybe you
can be more proactive and talk about a hobby or interest you are into
right now.-=-
Yes, or maybe practice a serene smile and say "I'm still thinking
about it. What would you do in my situation? " and smile. Put THEM
on the spot. Or maybe say "What were you doing when you were 16?"
Make it an honest question. My mom was working in a cafe in Carlsbad,
New Mexico. My dad, at that age (not the same year, because he's
five years older) was working in a shipyard in San Francisco, a long
way from his home in Rotan, Texas. The next year he joined the army.
When my mom was 17, she got married.
If you can get older people telling those kinds of stories, it will
totally take some heat off you. And say you asked me. Ask me.
(pretending to hear it)
When I was sixteen I was graduating from high school a year early so I
could go to college. I was smoking a lot of dope, playing guitar a
lot and ditching class.
If you do get them talking and they talk about college, ask them what
was the most fun about it. Ask if they still work in the field they
studied. If not, JUMP ON THAT! Ask why not, or if they ever did.
The holy grail of college isn't made of anything very solid at all.
Yes, on this:
-=- Or
perhaps you can come up with a good answer that would stop questions,
like, "I am going
to take classes at the JC until I decide for sure." And that can be a
good way to try some
different things, like cooking classes, without all the hefty
financial commitment. And,
although I wouldn't want to be quoted about this, I think that once
you have a JC
background, many colleges don't care much about whether you have a
diploma or not,
because you'd be a transfer student rather than an incoming freshman.-=-
Yep. If you have good grades from any school and you're over 18,
hardly anyone will ever care again whether you started as a freshman
at a hoity school after a perfect high school stint. And more than
that, if you've gone to some college, then forever more on
applications for jobs when it says "highest level of education," you
can skip by the question of high school and mark (or write) "some
college."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
And they probably are--it's another version of "what grade are you
in? Do you like your teacher? What's your favorite subject?"
-=-...maybe you
can be more proactive and talk about a hobby or interest you are into
right now.-=-
Yes, or maybe practice a serene smile and say "I'm still thinking
about it. What would you do in my situation? " and smile. Put THEM
on the spot. Or maybe say "What were you doing when you were 16?"
Make it an honest question. My mom was working in a cafe in Carlsbad,
New Mexico. My dad, at that age (not the same year, because he's
five years older) was working in a shipyard in San Francisco, a long
way from his home in Rotan, Texas. The next year he joined the army.
When my mom was 17, she got married.
If you can get older people telling those kinds of stories, it will
totally take some heat off you. And say you asked me. Ask me.
(pretending to hear it)
When I was sixteen I was graduating from high school a year early so I
could go to college. I was smoking a lot of dope, playing guitar a
lot and ditching class.
If you do get them talking and they talk about college, ask them what
was the most fun about it. Ask if they still work in the field they
studied. If not, JUMP ON THAT! Ask why not, or if they ever did.
The holy grail of college isn't made of anything very solid at all.
Yes, on this:
-=- Or
perhaps you can come up with a good answer that would stop questions,
like, "I am going
to take classes at the JC until I decide for sure." And that can be a
good way to try some
different things, like cooking classes, without all the hefty
financial commitment. And,
although I wouldn't want to be quoted about this, I think that once
you have a JC
background, many colleges don't care much about whether you have a
diploma or not,
because you'd be a transfer student rather than an incoming freshman.-=-
Yep. If you have good grades from any school and you're over 18,
hardly anyone will ever care again whether you started as a freshman
at a hoity school after a perfect high school stint. And more than
that, if you've gone to some college, then forever more on
applications for jobs when it says "highest level of education," you
can skip by the question of high school and mark (or write) "some
college."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny C
> How do I help her when she doesn't even know what she wants? I amWhat about a GED? That would take all the pressure off. Here's a list
> not surprised that she doesn't want to make such big decisions now
> but she's being pressured on a daily basis by someone or other. She
> tries to hide away in her room but at some point she's going to have
> to tell her dad about what she is doing or not doing. How do I
> advise her?
>
<http://www.pbceducator.net/ged/famouspeople.htm> of famous folks with
a GED. Not that you want to pressure her into fame, it's just a nice
validation that a GED isn't failure, and that it doesn't create failure
to quit school.
Without knowing how school decisions are made within your custody
arrangements, I would say that you could be the one to take the pressure
off. Don't talk about it anymore. Have a conversation, list all the
options, maybe write them down, then leave it alone and leave her alone.
Kids will do what they do, wether we want them to or not. The best
thing a parent can do, IMO, is to be there to help when they need it.
Even if she were to live with her father and step mom, and they made her
go to school, it won't garauntee that she will go to school, or get good
grades or a diploma. I would even argue that going to school and
getting bad grades is probably more harmful than dropping out and
getting a GED or taking classes at community college while
homeschooling. The state universities around here, for example have a
minimum GPA for entrance, but if you don't have a GPA, they go by other
measures. So, she could totally screw up her chances at going to
college by being forced to finish highschool just for graduating and
receiving a dimploma.
Has she ever read The Teenage Liberation Handbook? It's a good book,
very inspirational!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carnationsgalore
> If the conditions under which she was allowed to live with youThere are absolutely no conditions. I pursued custody via an attorney
> were that she would finish that coursework and you all agreed to
> it,...
following the Georgia laws. At age 14, she was deemed old enough to
choose where to live. I have primary custody and while I am supposed
to discuss things with her father first, I have the ultimate decision
if we disagree. He hated that she started homeschooling but there
wasn't anything legal he could do to stop her. Compulsory school age
in Georgia is through the 16th birthday, which she has reached. She
was attempting to homeschool with a structured program to pacify her
father's disappointment. Of the 6 courses she's enrolled in, she's
halfway through 2 of them and has turned in a few assignments in 2
others. She's hated every moment of it.
> This is an out-there idea, but maybe you could look into the costThe sad, ironic reality is that public school stressed her out so
> of in-patient treatment for teen angst and depression...
much that she was put on medication for anxiety. As the year has
gone on and she's attended some counseling, we've (my dh, myself, and
her psychiatrist) have learned that a great deal of that anxiety is
because of her dad and stepmom, specifically their disappointment in
her not being what they want her to be and their really high
expectations for every aspect of her life.
They also have another daughter who has been in a residential
hospital. I won't go into details as it isn't my place but I do what
I can to help Claire not fall into that same mess.
Thank you for the links. I've been reading the Teenage Liberation
Handbook today so she and I can go through it without her having to
read every page. I'm betting that once she hears what the book's
message is, she will be interested enough in reading some on her
own. But I'm all too happy to read it with her if she needs me to.
I feel like I'm having to help her undo so much damage done by her
other family. :(
Beth M.
Pam Sorooshian
On 2/16/2009 6:28 PM, Jenny C wrote:
(California High School Proficiency Exam) which tests only English and math.
Another option is to go through Beach High School. You could tell her
father that she is enrolled in Beach High School and Wes will help you
think about what you want to do and give you a diploma when you feel
you're ready to move beyond high school. I really recommend this - Wes
started out many years ago helping kids who were, for various reasons,
sick of school and knows what he's doing! Wes works with kids all over
the country. Here is his website - I'd suggest that Claire take a look
at it herself. <http://www2.cruzio.com/~beachhi/home.html>
-pam
> What about a GED? That would take all the pressure off. Here's a listReally good idea. If you happen to be in California, we have the CHSPE
> <http://www.pbceducator.net/ged/famouspeople.htm> of famous folks with
> a GED. Not that you want to pressure her into fame, it's just a nice
> validation that a GED isn't failure, and that it doesn't create failure
> to quit school.
>
(California High School Proficiency Exam) which tests only English and math.
Another option is to go through Beach High School. You could tell her
father that she is enrolled in Beach High School and Wes will help you
think about what you want to do and give you a diploma when you feel
you're ready to move beyond high school. I really recommend this - Wes
started out many years ago helping kids who were, for various reasons,
sick of school and knows what he's doing! Wes works with kids all over
the country. Here is his website - I'd suggest that Claire take a look
at it herself. <http://www2.cruzio.com/~beachhi/home.html>
-pam
Pam Sorooshian
I saw that you're in Georgia. Do you have community colleges? My kids
started taking some community college classes when they were young
teens. They weren't really "going to college" in the sense of taking
regular general education courses, but they took voice class, ceramics,
drama, beginning guitar, photography, dance, and other fun activity
classes. When people talked to them about school, they could say, 'I go
to Cypress College." People assumed they were geniuses. <g>
If that's an option, it might satisfy dad and be kind of fun.
-pam
started taking some community college classes when they were young
teens. They weren't really "going to college" in the sense of taking
regular general education courses, but they took voice class, ceramics,
drama, beginning guitar, photography, dance, and other fun activity
classes. When people talked to them about school, they could say, 'I go
to Cypress College." People assumed they were geniuses. <g>
If that's an option, it might satisfy dad and be kind of fun.
-pam
emiLy Q.
When I was 16, I was going into my junior year of high school. I did all
the high school / college thinking stuff, but the coolest thing I did when I
was 16 is that in June (after junior year) my best friend and I moved from
Tampa, Florida to Charlotte, NC and lived with her dad for the summer while
we worked at an amusement park. After working for a few months, we set off
on a road trip that took us southwest to the US/Mexico border in Texas and
then back east home to Tampa. That trip was easily the best two weeks of my
life so far, and I'm SO glad I did it. I'm so glad my parents happily let
me do it. This was in 1994, we had no cell phones or anything. We were two
16 year old girls driving a 1978 VW Bus. I'm kind of amazed my parents let
me do that. (I'd put MY daughter in a more reliable vehicle and make sure
she has a phone! :) And if my daughter wants to do that, I wouldn't call HER
too often I hope. We called home every few days if I recall correctly, I
think maybe my friend needed to call every day.) But the fact that they
trusted us is amazing. And we did have a great trip - the flat tire that
drove us to hitchhike and the blown starter that forced me to drive from
Louisiana to Florida without turning the engine off AT ALL just add to the
adventure...
I think you've gotten good ideas from others on this list, and I think if I
were you I'd take a break and then maybe try to get through the coursework
to get the diploma. Maybe find something else to talk to your dad about --
my dad sounds similar to yours but during high school it was easy for us to
connect by doing projects together. Maybe if there is something for you and
he to do together, or talk about, he won't be so caught up in school? I am
sure you know this, but he's just trying to help and do what he thinks is
best.
-emiLy
the high school / college thinking stuff, but the coolest thing I did when I
was 16 is that in June (after junior year) my best friend and I moved from
Tampa, Florida to Charlotte, NC and lived with her dad for the summer while
we worked at an amusement park. After working for a few months, we set off
on a road trip that took us southwest to the US/Mexico border in Texas and
then back east home to Tampa. That trip was easily the best two weeks of my
life so far, and I'm SO glad I did it. I'm so glad my parents happily let
me do it. This was in 1994, we had no cell phones or anything. We were two
16 year old girls driving a 1978 VW Bus. I'm kind of amazed my parents let
me do that. (I'd put MY daughter in a more reliable vehicle and make sure
she has a phone! :) And if my daughter wants to do that, I wouldn't call HER
too often I hope. We called home every few days if I recall correctly, I
think maybe my friend needed to call every day.) But the fact that they
trusted us is amazing. And we did have a great trip - the flat tire that
drove us to hitchhike and the blown starter that forced me to drive from
Louisiana to Florida without turning the engine off AT ALL just add to the
adventure...
I think you've gotten good ideas from others on this list, and I think if I
were you I'd take a break and then maybe try to get through the coursework
to get the diploma. Maybe find something else to talk to your dad about --
my dad sounds similar to yours but during high school it was easy for us to
connect by doing projects together. Maybe if there is something for you and
he to do together, or talk about, he won't be so caught up in school? I am
sure you know this, but he's just trying to help and do what he thinks is
best.
-emiLy
Judy R
My girls are both enrolled in Clonlara (www.clonlara.org) - they have a world-reknowned home-based education program that leads to a high school diploma - they also have a trancript service that will (for a fee) turn you home-schooled child's experience into a transcript for applying to university. Their program is unique and inspiring...Judy R.
----- Original Message -----
From: Pam Sorooshian
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 9:45 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: My dd16 has some questions
On 2/16/2009 6:28 PM, Jenny C wrote:
> What about a GED? That would take all the pressure off. Here's a list
> <http://www.pbceducator.net/ged/famouspeople.htm> of famous folks with
> a GED. Not that you want to pressure her into fame, it's just a nice
> validation that a GED isn't failure, and that it doesn't create failure
> to quit school.
>
Really good idea. If you happen to be in California, we have the CHSPE
(California High School Proficiency Exam) which tests only English and math.
Another option is to go through Beach High School. You could tell her
father that she is enrolled in Beach High School and Wes will help you
think about what you want to do and give you a diploma when you feel
you're ready to move beyond high school. I really recommend this - Wes
started out many years ago helping kids who were, for various reasons,
sick of school and knows what he's doing! Wes works with kids all over
the country. Here is his website - I'd suggest that Claire take a look
at it herself. <http://www2.cruzio.com/~beachhi/home.html>
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy
<<If you can get older people telling those kinds of stories, it will
totally take some heat off you. And say you asked me. Ask me.
(pretending to hear it)>>
I dropped out of high school about 3 weeks before my 16 birthday (which
would have been 1983) . I also left home to live with my boyfriend (where I
could have more freedom). I proceeded to smoke dope in freedom for the next
2 years. I left the boyfriend when I was 18 and went back home and got my
GED. Then partied for another 2 years until I hit rock-bottom and proceeded
to get sober. Four years later I decided to go to college part-time. I
finished my Assoc. degree with a 4.0 (I probably had a 2.something or lower
in high school and my ACT scores were horrible) . That GPA allowed me to
attend & recieve 75% of tuiton paid at a private college. While at this
college I recieved a Howard Hughes Grant that allowed me to work on a
project in the Biochemistry department at the University of Mississippi
Medical Center. And I'm a High School drop out.
College is over rated. While I was at this private college that happened to
be christian (not why i went btw) I had a friend that was pre-med and when
it was time for him to graduate they wouldn't let him b/c he hadn't taken
the required Old & New Testament and gone to chapel. He had record hign
scores on the MCAT and UMC accetped him without a college degree.
--
Peace,
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
totally take some heat off you. And say you asked me. Ask me.
(pretending to hear it)>>
I dropped out of high school about 3 weeks before my 16 birthday (which
would have been 1983) . I also left home to live with my boyfriend (where I
could have more freedom). I proceeded to smoke dope in freedom for the next
2 years. I left the boyfriend when I was 18 and went back home and got my
GED. Then partied for another 2 years until I hit rock-bottom and proceeded
to get sober. Four years later I decided to go to college part-time. I
finished my Assoc. degree with a 4.0 (I probably had a 2.something or lower
in high school and my ACT scores were horrible) . That GPA allowed me to
attend & recieve 75% of tuiton paid at a private college. While at this
college I recieved a Howard Hughes Grant that allowed me to work on a
project in the Biochemistry department at the University of Mississippi
Medical Center. And I'm a High School drop out.
College is over rated. While I was at this private college that happened to
be christian (not why i went btw) I had a friend that was pre-med and when
it was time for him to graduate they wouldn't let him b/c he hadn't taken
the required Old & New Testament and gone to chapel. He had record hign
scores on the MCAT and UMC accetped him without a college degree.
--
Peace,
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
Thanks for sharing your unconventional story! It's more confirmation
for what I've been thinking about all this stuff for a while. You can
choose to jump through the hoops, but if you don't, it seems that you
can get to where you want to go anyway--and maybe be better off in the
long run for having forged your own path!
Joanna
-
for what I've been thinking about all this stuff for a while. You can
choose to jump through the hoops, but if you don't, it seems that you
can get to where you want to go anyway--and maybe be better off in the
long run for having forged your own path!
Joanna
-