Food Sensitivities and Unschooling
Lauren Seaver
I've been following (with great interest) the posts on food allergies/sensitivities. I feel my 20 mo ds has sensitivities to some foods (due to some physical and behavioral reactions, including rashes, hives, irritability, nightwaking, etc.--thank you foodlab group!) Anyway, changing the diet in our household has made a huge positive difference (ds and I are *currently* gluten/dairy/soy/corn and egg free).
I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are currently.
Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all, and have actually felt that the variety in our diet has grown due to my learning about so many wonderful foods I had never really explored before. (I've grown to love cooking--something I thought I would never be interested in!) Also, there are so many substitutions that we can buy in the store or make at home that there is almost always an alternative that seems just as good as (or close enough to) old favorite foods. I don't feel like my son or I are ever deprived of foods, and I really try to make sure if we are going somewhere to bring a version of the food being served that fits (what I feel are) our current diet needs (ie, to a pasta dinner I'd bring rice pasta w/ our own sauce, etc.) Although River seems totally satisfied with this, I worry at times that I am being too controlling about the issue--while at the same time I feel it is my role as his mother to provide/offer foods
that are going to be both yummy/appealing (to him) and healthful--not hurtful (the foods we avoid currently give him a rash on his bum that seems to make bowel movements extremely painful--avoiding the foods seems to erase this issue.) As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself. As he gets older, I know he'll be able to make that connection, but for now, I'm just trying to provide a variety-filled environment in regards to food. How have you all done this, with your toddlers? I really try to follow his lead and prepare foods he likes/enjoys. He has definite preferences (as we all do) and I just try to follow these...I really want to partner
with him in this. Any tips on this topic are greatly appreciated!
On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...
Thank you all in advance--I'm learning so much from this list every day!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are currently.
Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all, and have actually felt that the variety in our diet has grown due to my learning about so many wonderful foods I had never really explored before. (I've grown to love cooking--something I thought I would never be interested in!) Also, there are so many substitutions that we can buy in the store or make at home that there is almost always an alternative that seems just as good as (or close enough to) old favorite foods. I don't feel like my son or I are ever deprived of foods, and I really try to make sure if we are going somewhere to bring a version of the food being served that fits (what I feel are) our current diet needs (ie, to a pasta dinner I'd bring rice pasta w/ our own sauce, etc.) Although River seems totally satisfied with this, I worry at times that I am being too controlling about the issue--while at the same time I feel it is my role as his mother to provide/offer foods
that are going to be both yummy/appealing (to him) and healthful--not hurtful (the foods we avoid currently give him a rash on his bum that seems to make bowel movements extremely painful--avoiding the foods seems to erase this issue.) As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself. As he gets older, I know he'll be able to make that connection, but for now, I'm just trying to provide a variety-filled environment in regards to food. How have you all done this, with your toddlers? I really try to follow his lead and prepare foods he likes/enjoys. He has definite preferences (as we all do) and I just try to follow these...I really want to partner
with him in this. Any tips on this topic are greatly appreciated!
On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...
Thank you all in advance--I'm learning so much from this list every day!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
Sandra Dodd
-=-Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all-=-
Some people will lift a line like that and say "So you feed your
children chocolate covered dog turds?" and other crazy extreme
examples. <g>
Even though I'm criticized (sometimes by anonymous posters whose own
unschooling, if any, isn't going so well) for collecting too much
stuff, I wish I had known in advance how many times people were going
to say "So it's okay with you if your kids use heroin?" Heroin,
specifically, must've been asked a dozen or twenty times over the years.
I think the reason TV and sugar are the main two is that in the world
of magical sacrifice, those are two big ones. It's like giving up
candy or soda for lent, to buy a year's ticket into heaven. Parents
feel (by the hundreds of thousands, in the world around us) that if
they prohibit a desirable thing, they will ensure health or
intelligence or creativity. Of course it's all dressed up in
"proofs" and studies and explanations, but at its base it's a
superstitious sacrifice. So it needs to be something good--something
sweet, and alluring, or the magic won't work. It doesn't do any good
at ALL to "sacrifice" heroin or chocolate covered dog turds.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Some people will lift a line like that and say "So you feed your
children chocolate covered dog turds?" and other crazy extreme
examples. <g>
Even though I'm criticized (sometimes by anonymous posters whose own
unschooling, if any, isn't going so well) for collecting too much
stuff, I wish I had known in advance how many times people were going
to say "So it's okay with you if your kids use heroin?" Heroin,
specifically, must've been asked a dozen or twenty times over the years.
I think the reason TV and sugar are the main two is that in the world
of magical sacrifice, those are two big ones. It's like giving up
candy or soda for lent, to buy a year's ticket into heaven. Parents
feel (by the hundreds of thousands, in the world around us) that if
they prohibit a desirable thing, they will ensure health or
intelligence or creativity. Of course it's all dressed up in
"proofs" and studies and explanations, but at its base it's a
superstitious sacrifice. So it needs to be something good--something
sweet, and alluring, or the magic won't work. It doesn't do any good
at ALL to "sacrifice" heroin or chocolate covered dog turds.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
http://sandradodd.com/eating/sweets
I added this to the "true tales of kids turning down sweets" page.
-=-I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he
asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the
freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking
broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when
he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the
entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice
cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could
happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to
make their own food choices... -=-
Yesterday someone showed me a place out in the wilds of the internet
where someone had gone off about the evilness of me, and that I had a
(n evil) site as big as Wikipedia. LOTS of people collect good
quotes, on their computers, on paper, in notebooks. I just figured
out a long time ago that it was possible to collect them where other
people could get to them too, and I'm going to keep on doing it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I added this to the "true tales of kids turning down sweets" page.
-=-I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he
asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the
freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking
broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when
he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the
entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice
cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could
happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to
make their own food choices... -=-
Yesterday someone showed me a place out in the wilds of the internet
where someone had gone off about the evilness of me, and that I had a
(n evil) site as big as Wikipedia. LOTS of people collect good
quotes, on their computers, on paper, in notebooks. I just figured
out a long time ago that it was possible to collect them where other
people could get to them too, and I'm going to keep on doing it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelli Johnston
hi, we have food allergies here in the house and cant really have cross contamination in the kitchen (so no outside food should be cooked here either). Anyway, we just fill our house with lots of "safe" food that covers the goodies to fruits and veggies. My kids so far just want the sweet or salty and it doesn't matter what brand it is or where it comes from. When we are out and about, it can get a little tricky but for the most part I always bring something that they can eat and it hasn't been a problem at all.
On a side note, we have been trying out enzymes as they "claim" to help food sensitivities. I am hoping at some point the kids can use them for times that they are out and want to try something that might give them a reaction.
I personally believe that one should "Set the stage" but let those in the house choose for themselves. I think it would be irresponsible to fill the house with food that I know causes an allergic reaction or only buy food that is basically junk but I dont have arbitrary rules for where and when they can eat....or making sure they are eating exactly as I want them to. I know that I may disagree with some that we should just let them choose what they want at the store (I think that there is major marketing going on) but I do think they should have a choice and I will offer them an alternative I know is safe and possibly healthier. If I ever encounter resistance, then I will re-evaluate but so far there isn't any as long as their desire for whatever particular food sensation is satisfied. FWIW, my kids are 4 & 6.Kelli
EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOODJoin me
To: [email protected]: yis4yoga@...: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:18:32 -0800Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Food Sensitivities and Unschooling
I've been following (with great interest) the posts on food allergies/sensitivities. I feel my 20 mo ds has sensitivities to some foods (due to some physical and behavioral reactions, including rashes, hives, irritability, nightwaking, etc.--thank you foodlab group!) Anyway, changing the diet in our household has made a huge positive difference (ds and I are *currently* gluten/dairy/soy/corn and egg free). I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are currently. Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all, and have actually felt that the variety in our diet has grown due to my learning about so many wonderful foods I had never really explored before. (I've grown to love cooking--something I thought I would never be interested in!) Also, there are so many substitutions that we can buy in the store or make at home that there is almost always an alternative that seems just as good as (or close enough to) old favorite foods. I don't feel like my son or I are ever deprived of foods, and I really try to make sure if we are going somewhere to bring a version of the food being served that fits (what I feel are) our current diet needs (ie, to a pasta dinner I'd bring rice pasta w/ our own sauce, etc.) Although River seems totally satisfied with this, I worry at times that I am being too controlling about the issue--while at the same time I feel it is my role as his mother to provide/offer foodsthat are going to be both yummy/appealing (to him) and healthful--not hurtful (the foods we avoid currently give him a rash on his bum that seems to make bowel movements extremely painful--avoiding the foods seems to erase this issue.) As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself. As he gets older, I know he'll be able to make that connection, but for now, I'm just trying to provide a variety-filled environment in regards to food. How have you all done this, with your toddlers? I really try to follow his lead and prepare foods he likes/enjoys. He has definite preferences (as we all do) and I just try to follow these...I really want to partnerwith him in this. Any tips on this topic are greatly appreciated! On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...Thank you all in advance--I'm learning so much from this list every day!Lauren :)"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."~the Buddah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
On a side note, we have been trying out enzymes as they "claim" to help food sensitivities. I am hoping at some point the kids can use them for times that they are out and want to try something that might give them a reaction.
I personally believe that one should "Set the stage" but let those in the house choose for themselves. I think it would be irresponsible to fill the house with food that I know causes an allergic reaction or only buy food that is basically junk but I dont have arbitrary rules for where and when they can eat....or making sure they are eating exactly as I want them to. I know that I may disagree with some that we should just let them choose what they want at the store (I think that there is major marketing going on) but I do think they should have a choice and I will offer them an alternative I know is safe and possibly healthier. If I ever encounter resistance, then I will re-evaluate but so far there isn't any as long as their desire for whatever particular food sensation is satisfied. FWIW, my kids are 4 & 6.Kelli
EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOODJoin me
To: [email protected]: yis4yoga@...: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:18:32 -0800Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Food Sensitivities and Unschooling
I've been following (with great interest) the posts on food allergies/sensitivities. I feel my 20 mo ds has sensitivities to some foods (due to some physical and behavioral reactions, including rashes, hives, irritability, nightwaking, etc.--thank you foodlab group!) Anyway, changing the diet in our household has made a huge positive difference (ds and I are *currently* gluten/dairy/soy/corn and egg free). I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are currently. Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all, and have actually felt that the variety in our diet has grown due to my learning about so many wonderful foods I had never really explored before. (I've grown to love cooking--something I thought I would never be interested in!) Also, there are so many substitutions that we can buy in the store or make at home that there is almost always an alternative that seems just as good as (or close enough to) old favorite foods. I don't feel like my son or I are ever deprived of foods, and I really try to make sure if we are going somewhere to bring a version of the food being served that fits (what I feel are) our current diet needs (ie, to a pasta dinner I'd bring rice pasta w/ our own sauce, etc.) Although River seems totally satisfied with this, I worry at times that I am being too controlling about the issue--while at the same time I feel it is my role as his mother to provide/offer foodsthat are going to be both yummy/appealing (to him) and healthful--not hurtful (the foods we avoid currently give him a rash on his bum that seems to make bowel movements extremely painful--avoiding the foods seems to erase this issue.) As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself. As he gets older, I know he'll be able to make that connection, but for now, I'm just trying to provide a variety-filled environment in regards to food. How have you all done this, with your toddlers? I really try to follow his lead and prepare foods he likes/enjoys. He has definite preferences (as we all do) and I just try to follow these...I really want to partnerwith him in this. Any tips on this topic are greatly appreciated! On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...Thank you all in advance--I'm learning so much from this list every day!Lauren :)"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."~the Buddah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Laureen
Heya!
On Mon, Nov 24, 2008 at 9:18 PM, Lauren Seaver <yis4yoga@...> wrote:
> I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I
> come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both
> Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food
> topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it
> comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to
> hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their
> homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning
> about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are
> currently.
http://theexcellentadventure.com/elementalmom/2006/10/02/self-limiting-the-saga-of-the-flower-cake/
This is what I wrote about that stage in our journey.
> As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate
> (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he
> eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the
> bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be
> very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself.
Well you have to help him with the connections, but 20 months was plenty old
enough with Rowan. If the reactions are severe, the connection can be made.
> On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when
> he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the
> freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli
> at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the
> broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with
> some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the
> table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning
> about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...
I have noticed with both my sons that a lot of the time it's not about the
food, per se. It's that they want me to prepare something for them. They
want me to have touched their food with love, and they don't care if it's
marshmallows or brussel sprouts; they want a "food is love" moment. After
seeing it in them, I see it in myself, too. An apple that's washed and
delivered whole somehow isn't nearly as attractive as one that's been cut up
for them, arranged on the plate, maybe with some nut butter or honey dip.
It's the attention that matters, not the food so much.
--
~~L!
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
Evolving here:
http://www.consciouswoman.org/
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rebecca
Hi Lauren
My five year old has severe food allergies. We discovered them three years ago this thanksgiving. My three older children and I ended up taking him to the hospital. It was one of the scariest events of his wee life. Actually it was a rough year that year for him all around for his health. He now has an epipen with him (me) at all times. I always carry food for him. He doesnt eat anything unless he has cleared it with me. He is very good about it because he still remembers his reaction to nuts. We have nuts in the house and are always careful to scrub everything they come near. My other children are very careful as well. They are like watch dogs around other people and food to make sure their brother is safe. As awful as it was that they all witnessed the near death reaction they all understand him allergy and his medicines.
And each thanksgiving we are nutfree and thankful for everyone's health.
Happy Thanksgiving
Rebecca
My five year old has severe food allergies. We discovered them three years ago this thanksgiving. My three older children and I ended up taking him to the hospital. It was one of the scariest events of his wee life. Actually it was a rough year that year for him all around for his health. He now has an epipen with him (me) at all times. I always carry food for him. He doesnt eat anything unless he has cleared it with me. He is very good about it because he still remembers his reaction to nuts. We have nuts in the house and are always careful to scrub everything they come near. My other children are very careful as well. They are like watch dogs around other people and food to make sure their brother is safe. As awful as it was that they all witnessed the near death reaction they all understand him allergy and his medicines.
And each thanksgiving we are nutfree and thankful for everyone's health.
Happy Thanksgiving
Rebecca
--- On Tue, 11/25/08, Lauren Seaver <yis4yoga@...> wrote:
From: Lauren Seaver <yis4yoga@...>
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Food Sensitivities and Unschooling
To: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, November 25, 2008, 12:18 AM
I've been following (with great interest) the posts on food allergies/sensitivi ties. I feel my 20 mo ds has sensitivities to some foods (due to some physical and behavioral reactions, including rashes, hives, irritability, nightwaking, etc.--thank you foodlab group!) Anyway, changing the diet in our household has made a huge positive difference (ds and I are *currently* gluten/dairy/ soy/corn and egg free).
I'm always very interested in this topic as it relates to unschooling (as I come to this area with my own food baggage as well. I've forwarded both Sandra's and Joyce's food pages to other groups/friends when discussing food topics, as I've learned so much about trusting *myself* and my child when it comes to food from this shift in perspective on the issue.) I'd love to hear more about families who have children with food sensitivities in their homes and ways you all have partnered with your children in their learning about food...especially advice on the toddler years, as that is where we are currently.
Right now, I haven't felt the need to 'limit' our diets at all, and have actually felt that the variety in our diet has grown due to my learning about so many wonderful foods I had never really explored before. (I've grown to love cooking--something I thought I would never be interested in!) Also, there are so many substitutions that we can buy in the store or make at home that there is almost always an alternative that seems just as good as (or close enough to) old favorite foods. I don't feel like my son or I are ever deprived of foods, and I really try to make sure if we are going somewhere to bring a version of the food being served that fits (what I feel are) our current diet needs (ie, to a pasta dinner I'd bring rice pasta w/ our own sauce, etc.) Although River seems totally satisfied with this, I worry at times that I am being too controlling about the issue--while at the same time I feel it is my role as his mother to provide/offer foods
that are going to be both yummy/appealing (to him) and healthful--not hurtful (the foods we avoid currently give him a rash on his bum that seems to make bowel movements extremely painful--avoiding the foods seems to erase this issue.) As he is only 20 months, I don't feel that it is realistic or appropriate (right now) to expect him to make the connection between a specific food he eats and a reaction which may not occur until the following day (like the bum rashes--which I feel are the *worst* reactions because they seem to be very painful), so I take this responsibility on myself. As he gets older, I know he'll be able to make that connection, but for now, I'm just trying to provide a variety-filled environment in regards to food. How have you all done this, with your toddlers? I really try to follow his lead and prepare foods he likes/enjoys. He has definite preferences (as we all do) and I just try to follow these...I really want to partner
with him in this. Any tips on this topic are greatly appreciated!
On a side note, I had a real ah-ha moment yesterday in the food arena, when he asked for his (r)ice cream (he'll run to the fridge and point to the freezer to tell me). I got him a dish of it, and was also cooking broccoli at the time. He took a few bites of the ice cream, but when he saw the broccoli, he ran to the stove and wanted it. He ate the entire crown with some salt and pepper, and left the rest of the ice cream to melt on the table. Something I might not have believed could happen before learning about the joys of *trusting* our children to make their own food choices...
Thank you all in advance--I'm learning so much from this list every day!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I think it would be irresponsible to fill the house with food that
I know causes an allergic reaction or only buy food that is basically
junk -=-
When a statement like this is made there's an implication that others
do that and don't feel irresponsible about doing it. But nobody does
that.
Also, the term "junk" when used of food, or books, or TV, or games,
or comic books, or music... it's not a move toward clarity.
To refer to things as "junk" and "crap" is a way to seem to say
something strong without actually thoughtfully thinking of words.
They're not good words for thinking about the choices our kids might
make, and REALLY not good words for discussing the world with them.
If one says "you can make choices" but then says "Do you want this
good food or this junk?" then it's manipulation and not information.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I know causes an allergic reaction or only buy food that is basically
junk -=-
When a statement like this is made there's an implication that others
do that and don't feel irresponsible about doing it. But nobody does
that.
Also, the term "junk" when used of food, or books, or TV, or games,
or comic books, or music... it's not a move toward clarity.
To refer to things as "junk" and "crap" is a way to seem to say
something strong without actually thoughtfully thinking of words.
They're not good words for thinking about the choices our kids might
make, and REALLY not good words for discussing the world with them.
If one says "you can make choices" but then says "Do you want this
good food or this junk?" then it's manipulation and not information.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
http://theexcellentadventure.com/elementalmom/2006/10/02/self-
limiting-the-saga-of-the-flower-cake/
This is what I wrote about that stage in our journey.-=-
Beautiful.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://theexcellentadventure.com/elementalmom/2006/10/02/self-
limiting-the-saga-of-the-flower-cake/
This is what I wrote about that stage in our journey.-=-
Beautiful.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny C
Parents
I made the Halloween candy, that I was allowed to keep, last until
Easter. I hid it in my little desk in my bedroom and would take tiny
nibbles off of pieces of candy each day. We didn't get any "sugar"
cereal, we didn't get cookies, unless my mom made them and put "healthy"
stuff in them, we didn't get syrup on pancakes, my dad made his own out
of berries from our garden, which tasted good, but still not my choice.
I HAD to eat what I put on my plate. I had to put a little of something
of everything that was served onto my plate, wether I wanted it or not.
All of this was for health reasons, and a direct reaction to the abject
poverty my father grew up in.
I have all kinds of food allergies and sensitivities. Which came first
on some of them? Force and a connection of my psycological dislike of
force associated with those foods, or did I not want to eat those foods
because I really shouldn't have been eating them because my body didn't
like them?
I won't ever get to know that. Some of my food allergies are fixed and
severe, some of them aren't. I had to land myself in the hospital to
figure it all out, rack up huge bills and file bankruptcy to absolve it.
I won't ever do that to my kids! It's something I feel really strongly
about. I have one daughter who has shown a sensitivity to dairy. If
she wants to eat it, I let her. We sympathize when she feels yucky, we
offer alternatives that are equally as yummy. My other daughter really
can't handle eggs, she avoids them totally because she knows it causes
pain.
There is a whole big world of food and I'm not going to limit it. I
offer more options, cool choices. Sugar is the least of my concerns.
Parents make such a big deal out of sugar, but I'll tell you, my lack of
sugary treats when I was a kid, didn't ensure healthy for me! Perhaps I
would've been healthier eating store bought cookies instead of pork
chops, which I have a very very severe allergy to, something I hated to
eat when I was a kid. My parents allowed me to drizzle raw honey on my
pork, so that I'd eat it. I'm allergic to honey now too. Guilt by
association I think.
I have huge food issues, and I'm going to do whatever I can to avoid
passing that on to my kids.
My sisters kids all have pretty severe allergies. My sister hyper
controls food, her kids were still sick. She finally did a food allergy
test and it turned out that they were severly allergic to garlic. If
she had given more choice and more power to her kids, they may have
figured it out on their own. Her kids won't get to know their own
bodies that way, they don't listen to their bodies, they listen only to
MOM!
> feel (by the hundreds of thousands, in the world around us) that ifThat is exactly how I grew up! We rarely had sugar treats in the house.
> they prohibit a desirable thing, they will ensure health or
> intelligence or creativity.
I made the Halloween candy, that I was allowed to keep, last until
Easter. I hid it in my little desk in my bedroom and would take tiny
nibbles off of pieces of candy each day. We didn't get any "sugar"
cereal, we didn't get cookies, unless my mom made them and put "healthy"
stuff in them, we didn't get syrup on pancakes, my dad made his own out
of berries from our garden, which tasted good, but still not my choice.
I HAD to eat what I put on my plate. I had to put a little of something
of everything that was served onto my plate, wether I wanted it or not.
All of this was for health reasons, and a direct reaction to the abject
poverty my father grew up in.
I have all kinds of food allergies and sensitivities. Which came first
on some of them? Force and a connection of my psycological dislike of
force associated with those foods, or did I not want to eat those foods
because I really shouldn't have been eating them because my body didn't
like them?
I won't ever get to know that. Some of my food allergies are fixed and
severe, some of them aren't. I had to land myself in the hospital to
figure it all out, rack up huge bills and file bankruptcy to absolve it.
I won't ever do that to my kids! It's something I feel really strongly
about. I have one daughter who has shown a sensitivity to dairy. If
she wants to eat it, I let her. We sympathize when she feels yucky, we
offer alternatives that are equally as yummy. My other daughter really
can't handle eggs, she avoids them totally because she knows it causes
pain.
There is a whole big world of food and I'm not going to limit it. I
offer more options, cool choices. Sugar is the least of my concerns.
Parents make such a big deal out of sugar, but I'll tell you, my lack of
sugary treats when I was a kid, didn't ensure healthy for me! Perhaps I
would've been healthier eating store bought cookies instead of pork
chops, which I have a very very severe allergy to, something I hated to
eat when I was a kid. My parents allowed me to drizzle raw honey on my
pork, so that I'd eat it. I'm allergic to honey now too. Guilt by
association I think.
I have huge food issues, and I'm going to do whatever I can to avoid
passing that on to my kids.
My sisters kids all have pretty severe allergies. My sister hyper
controls food, her kids were still sick. She finally did a food allergy
test and it turned out that they were severly allergic to garlic. If
she had given more choice and more power to her kids, they may have
figured it out on their own. Her kids won't get to know their own
bodies that way, they don't listen to their bodies, they listen only to
MOM!
Jenny C
"I know that I may disagree with some that we should just let them
choose what they want at the store (I think that there is major
marketing going on) but I do think they should have a choice and I will
offer them an alternative I know is safe and possibly healthier."
Marketing is not some big evil thing out to get our kids. There are
people who make careers out of it. It's fascinating and involves
psychology. It's not something to be feared or even avoided because one
thinks it's bad.
It's fascinating, and we can show kids how fascinating it is, rather be
scared of it and worry about it. Knowledge is Power! There's nothing
wrong with showing kids a different alternative either.
Sometimes, if we are at the check stand and the kids decide they want
gum, I'll buy a pack, right then and there, and sometimes I'll get us
out of line to go back to the candy aisle to have more choices. The
packs at the checkstand are considered impulse buys, and it is a
marketing technique. That is why, we sometimes take the impulse out of
it to really check things out. It's part of learning about grocery
stores and choices and being bigger and stronger than a marketing ploy.
We read ingredients a lot too... It's fun!
choose what they want at the store (I think that there is major
marketing going on) but I do think they should have a choice and I will
offer them an alternative I know is safe and possibly healthier."
Marketing is not some big evil thing out to get our kids. There are
people who make careers out of it. It's fascinating and involves
psychology. It's not something to be feared or even avoided because one
thinks it's bad.
It's fascinating, and we can show kids how fascinating it is, rather be
scared of it and worry about it. Knowledge is Power! There's nothing
wrong with showing kids a different alternative either.
Sometimes, if we are at the check stand and the kids decide they want
gum, I'll buy a pack, right then and there, and sometimes I'll get us
out of line to go back to the candy aisle to have more choices. The
packs at the checkstand are considered impulse buys, and it is a
marketing technique. That is why, we sometimes take the impulse out of
it to really check things out. It's part of learning about grocery
stores and choices and being bigger and stronger than a marketing ploy.
We read ingredients a lot too... It's fun!
Lauren Seaver
http://theexcellent adventure. com/elementalmom /2006/10/ 02/self-limiting -the-saga- of-the-flower- cake/
This is what I wrote about that stage in our journey.
This had me in tears (inspired ones!) This has really got me thinking about self-awareness. I recall a previous post you wrote Laureen, about elimination communication, and I think this is really related. We ec River, and I believe (as many ec-ers do) that he had/has an inborn awareness of his own elimination needs. Which is why he has been able to 'tell' us when he had to go from so early on (we started at 3 months, although the next babe I plan to start ecing at birth!) Really, the hardest part of the process for me was opening the connection to my instinctual-mama-self enough to really understand and offer the potty when he was telling me (with his physical cues and the telepathic feeling/mama-baby-connection I still can't explain in words) that he was ready (and wanting) to pee. He has had this awareness from the beginning, and by recognizing and encouraging this, we have communicated about his elimination from early on, and he now, at 20
months, tells me when he needs to go (saying 'pee), and I assist him with this at his request.
Anyway, this has got me to thinking about food, and how many of the unschooling discussions of food could come back to the idea that we are born with self-awareness when it comes to this issue as well, especially if this awareness is supported and encouraged by the folks around us (namely our parents/guardians). The awareness of how hungry or full we are, of what foods we need/want at which times (more protein or sugar etc.), these are all things that many of us adults are disconnected from (possibly because of our upbringings and cultures that emphasize separation between mind and body...) I'm really seeing now how nursing on demand, empowering kids to try foods at their leisure, and encouraging children's own observations about how they feel while/after eating various foods is all part of continuing to build on that innate awareness of their own bodies and selves...Your story of the flower cake just so clearly articulated this for me Laureen--I'm
just finding this all fascinating as I realize more and more about all these connections...Thanks for getting my mind rolling on this!!!
Thanks again for any and all ideas!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
This is what I wrote about that stage in our journey.
This had me in tears (inspired ones!) This has really got me thinking about self-awareness. I recall a previous post you wrote Laureen, about elimination communication, and I think this is really related. We ec River, and I believe (as many ec-ers do) that he had/has an inborn awareness of his own elimination needs. Which is why he has been able to 'tell' us when he had to go from so early on (we started at 3 months, although the next babe I plan to start ecing at birth!) Really, the hardest part of the process for me was opening the connection to my instinctual-mama-self enough to really understand and offer the potty when he was telling me (with his physical cues and the telepathic feeling/mama-baby-connection I still can't explain in words) that he was ready (and wanting) to pee. He has had this awareness from the beginning, and by recognizing and encouraging this, we have communicated about his elimination from early on, and he now, at 20
months, tells me when he needs to go (saying 'pee), and I assist him with this at his request.
Anyway, this has got me to thinking about food, and how many of the unschooling discussions of food could come back to the idea that we are born with self-awareness when it comes to this issue as well, especially if this awareness is supported and encouraged by the folks around us (namely our parents/guardians). The awareness of how hungry or full we are, of what foods we need/want at which times (more protein or sugar etc.), these are all things that many of us adults are disconnected from (possibly because of our upbringings and cultures that emphasize separation between mind and body...) I'm really seeing now how nursing on demand, empowering kids to try foods at their leisure, and encouraging children's own observations about how they feel while/after eating various foods is all part of continuing to build on that innate awareness of their own bodies and selves...Your story of the flower cake just so clearly articulated this for me Laureen--I'm
just finding this all fascinating as I realize more and more about all these connections...Thanks for getting my mind rolling on this!!!
>>Well you have to help him with the connections, but 20 months was plenty old enough with Rowan. If the reactions are severe, the connection can be made.<<<I would love to hear more ideas about helping make these connections with an almost-verbal toddler. Sometimes it will take days for a reaction to occur--yet, with some foods there is a reaction within hours. And, for the most part, we currently avoid the foods that cause the reactions. Would helping make the connections include saying things like, "Oh, you want a cupcake? That one has wheat in it, and wheat can give you a rash--do you want to eat this cupcake that has no wheat instead?" I really haven't done a lot of talking about this issue with him, and would love some pointers on where/how to start!
Thanks again for any and all ideas!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
Lauren Seaver
>>>I added this to the "true tales of kids turning down sweets" page.<<<I'm honored to have our story on the page!
>>> LOTS of people collect goodquotes, on their computers, on paper, in notebooks. I just figured
out a long time ago that it was possible to collect them where other
people could get to them too, and I'm going to keep on doing it.<<<
Please do--I'm learning every day from reading them!
Lauren :)
"Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine."
~the Buddah
Laureen
Heya!
On Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 4:21 PM, Lauren Seaver <yis4yoga@...> wrote:
> <http://theexcellent>This had me in tears (inspired ones!)
Oh, good! Believe it or not, I've gotten bagged on for the bit where I
rearrange my brain to drop my itinerary and head home. Too permissive,
don'tcha know. Spoiled. ::sigh::
> Really, the hardest part of the process for me was opening the connection
> to my instinctual-mama-self enough to really understand and offer the potty
> when he was telling me (with his physical cues and the telepathic
> feeling/mama-baby-connection I still can't explain in words) that he was
> ready (and wanting) to pee. He has had this awareness from the beginning,
> and by recognizing and encouraging this, we have communicated about his
> elimination from early on, and he now, at 20
> months, tells me when he needs to go (saying 'pee), and I assist him with
> this at his request.
It's really only been a few generations worth where parenting has gone from
"of course they can" (nurse, pee, think) to "of course they can't", and not
to be cynical, but usually it's because someone wants to profit from you.
>
>
> Anyway, this has got me to thinking about food, and how many of the
> unschooling discussions of food could come back to the idea that we are born
> with self-awareness when it comes to this issue as well
Bingo.
> I'm really seeing now how nursing on demand, empowering kids to try foods
> at their leisure, and encouraging children's own observations about how they
> feel while/after eating various foods is all part of continuing to build on
> that innate awareness of their own bodies and selves...
Exactly. Having faith that they're capable really makes all the difference
in every field of parenting endeavor.
> I would love to hear more ideas about helping make these connections with
> an almost-verbal toddler. Sometimes it will take days for a reaction to
> occur--yet, with some foods there is a reaction within hours.
Same as with EC. Just keep communicating. I don't believe that "verbal" is
required. =) I really think that kids have a special reserved communication
channel with their parents on some subverbal, intuitive level, and that all
you have to do is keep that open.
> And, for the most part, we currently avoid the foods that cause the
> reactions. Would helping make the connections include saying things like,
> "Oh, you want a cupcake? That one has wheat in it, and wheat can give you a
> rash--do you want to eat this cupcake that has no wheat instead?" I really
> haven't done a lot of talking about this issue with him, and would love some
> pointers on where/how to start!
As I said in the blogpost, corn transformed Rowan into a complete nut;
running around bashing his head into things, hitting, flailing; you could
see in his eyes that he was not happy with what was up, but wasn't able to
stop. Think methamphetamine; it was really that violent a reaction. It took
us a while to figure out that it was refined corn products doing it, and
once we did, we just communicated. "This soda has corn syrup in it and will
make you crazy. If you get crazy, and you need help, just come in for
hugs..." Like that. And over time, he was able to figure out for himself
that 1) yes, it was the corn, we weren't lying to him, 2) more had more
impact, less had less, 3) sometimes he didn't want to deal with the crazies,
4) sometimes the treat was absolutely worth it.
Modelling helps too. I don't willingly consume HFCS, or artificial colors or
flavors. I don't like what they do to my system either. But his father does.
So we talked about how everyone's body is different, and everyone has
different tolerances to stuff. I can consume dairy with no problems, his
father can't. The really important part is to make sure that the child knows
that it's not that you're judging the food or its consumption, you're
judging the reaction it has on the individual. There are no "bad" foods,
just different reactions that you may or may not be OK with at any point,
and that you have a choice.
Now, for folks dealing with anaphilaxis, it's a totally different ball of
wax.
>
> Thanks again for any and all ideas!
Just keep communicating; it'll all work out.
--
~~L!
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
Evolving here:
http://www.consciouswoman.org/
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Verna
Our 5 year old son has multiple food allergies. From the time I was
nursing him we were vary aware that he was sensitive to some foods.
He would not eat solids for along time and I remember at 18 months my
mother making some comments about how little he ate. He would not
eat bananas, eggs, milk products, legumes of any kind. Turns out
when we had him tested after an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts that
he was allergic to all those other things. If I had pushed them he
might have reacted to them as well but I am convinced his body
somehow knew. Over time he started eating more but he is very
sensitive to foods and likes primarily simple things with simple
ingrediants that he knows everything that is in it. He asks me if
things have nuts or milk. Since he is anaphylactic to peanuts he
never eats them and would not want to. He has absolutely no desire
to and as long as I can remember never has had a desire to. We do
not have to threaten or hide it or anything he just would not eat
it. If he asks for something that has milk in it, which he still
reacts to but much more mildly, I explain it to him and he will
sometimes choose to taste it but more often than not will turn it
down. If his tongue starts itching he will immediately stop eating
the item whether it has milk or not in it. He has no desire to have
a reaction. We have always tried to have as many choises for him as
everyone else.
nursing him we were vary aware that he was sensitive to some foods.
He would not eat solids for along time and I remember at 18 months my
mother making some comments about how little he ate. He would not
eat bananas, eggs, milk products, legumes of any kind. Turns out
when we had him tested after an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts that
he was allergic to all those other things. If I had pushed them he
might have reacted to them as well but I am convinced his body
somehow knew. Over time he started eating more but he is very
sensitive to foods and likes primarily simple things with simple
ingrediants that he knows everything that is in it. He asks me if
things have nuts or milk. Since he is anaphylactic to peanuts he
never eats them and would not want to. He has absolutely no desire
to and as long as I can remember never has had a desire to. We do
not have to threaten or hide it or anything he just would not eat
it. If he asks for something that has milk in it, which he still
reacts to but much more mildly, I explain it to him and he will
sometimes choose to taste it but more often than not will turn it
down. If his tongue starts itching he will immediately stop eating
the item whether it has milk or not in it. He has no desire to have
a reaction. We have always tried to have as many choises for him as
everyone else.
Sandra Dodd
-=-Would helping make the connections include saying things like,
"Oh, you want a cupcake? That one has wheat in it, and wheat can give
you a rash--do you want to eat this cupcake that has no wheat
instead?" I really haven't done a lot of talking about this issue
with him, and would love some pointers on where/how to start!-=-
Too many words for a toddler. (Too many words for an adult, maybe,
depending on the tone of voice.)
Cupcakes don't have to be eaten whole. Or maybe you could just give
him half of each, or 1/3 of each, and see how that goes. Without
making a big deal about it, if it turns out the wheat one tastes just
as good to him, you might could offer him more of the wheat one. If
he doesn't like it, don't press the rest of it on him. That's what I
would do.
I had a standing deal with my kids that if they wanted to taste
something and they didn't like it, they could spit it out in my
hand. I hardly ever was taken up on it, but it made them feel more
confident that it was really, truly okay for them not to like
something. It made them braver about tasting.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"Oh, you want a cupcake? That one has wheat in it, and wheat can give
you a rash--do you want to eat this cupcake that has no wheat
instead?" I really haven't done a lot of talking about this issue
with him, and would love some pointers on where/how to start!-=-
Too many words for a toddler. (Too many words for an adult, maybe,
depending on the tone of voice.)
Cupcakes don't have to be eaten whole. Or maybe you could just give
him half of each, or 1/3 of each, and see how that goes. Without
making a big deal about it, if it turns out the wheat one tastes just
as good to him, you might could offer him more of the wheat one. If
he doesn't like it, don't press the rest of it on him. That's what I
would do.
I had a standing deal with my kids that if they wanted to taste
something and they didn't like it, they could spit it out in my
hand. I hardly ever was taken up on it, but it made them feel more
confident that it was really, truly okay for them not to like
something. It made them braver about tasting.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lauren
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
connection between the food and the physical reaction to it (ie, when he eats gluten/
wheat, he gets a painful rash on his butt within 2 days. At 20 mos, I find it hard to help
him see the connection between eating the gluten one day and the rash a day or 2 later.)
What you mention a/b too many words for a toddler in the above post is helpful. Laureen
also mentioned using nonverbal communication, which I realize I *am* doing. He sees me
reading ingredient labels, asking about ingredients and preparation methods if someone
else is cooking, that I put a lot of thought and time into choosing and cooking/preparing
the foods I eat and offer to him and our family, etc. I haven't actually *spoken* with him
about the food sensitivities issue at all yet, and have just offered alternatives to allergen-
containing foods he might seem interested in or has enjoyed eating in the past. (This has
been ok with him so far.) I am interested in communicating with him more about the
food/physical reaction connection, but am not really sure how (or when) to start...After
reading some of the posts here, I'm inclined to just *trust* that I can/will support him
through this, communicating with him in whatever manner fits at the time, and that we will
continue to learn together about his body and food reactions as he grows and changes...
Lauren :)
>I'm thinking more in terms of his physical reactions--how to help him understand the
> -=-Would helping make the connections include saying things like,
> "Oh, you want a cupcake? That one has wheat in it, and wheat can give
> you a rash--do you want to eat this cupcake that has no wheat
> instead?" I really haven't done a lot of talking about this issue
> with him, and would love some pointers on where/how to start!-=-
>
> Too many words for a toddler. (Too many words for an adult, maybe,
> depending on the tone of voice.)
> Cupcakes don't have to be eaten whole. Or maybe you could just give
> him half of each, or 1/3 of each, and see how that goes. Without
> making a big deal about it, if it turns out the wheat one tastes just
> as good to him, you might could offer him more of the wheat one. If
> he doesn't like it, don't press the rest of it on him. That's what I
> would do.
connection between the food and the physical reaction to it (ie, when he eats gluten/
wheat, he gets a painful rash on his butt within 2 days. At 20 mos, I find it hard to help
him see the connection between eating the gluten one day and the rash a day or 2 later.)
What you mention a/b too many words for a toddler in the above post is helpful. Laureen
also mentioned using nonverbal communication, which I realize I *am* doing. He sees me
reading ingredient labels, asking about ingredients and preparation methods if someone
else is cooking, that I put a lot of thought and time into choosing and cooking/preparing
the foods I eat and offer to him and our family, etc. I haven't actually *spoken* with him
about the food sensitivities issue at all yet, and have just offered alternatives to allergen-
containing foods he might seem interested in or has enjoyed eating in the past. (This has
been ok with him so far.) I am interested in communicating with him more about the
food/physical reaction connection, but am not really sure how (or when) to start...After
reading some of the posts here, I'm inclined to just *trust* that I can/will support him
through this, communicating with him in whatever manner fits at the time, and that we will
continue to learn together about his body and food reactions as he grows and changes...
Lauren :)
Lauren
>>>>I had a standing deal with my kids that if they wanted to tastesomething and they didn't like it, they could spit it out in my
hand. I hardly ever was taken up on it, but it made them feel more
confident that it was really, truly okay for them not to like
something.<<<
This reminds me of something. When I was in 3rd grade, I remember being in the school
gym for an assembly. A student from my class got sick and vomited on the floor, pretty
close to where I was. I was definitely a person who got sick seeing others get sick, and I
vomited just a little bit--in my mouth. I chose to hold my vomit in my mouth until our
class got back to the classroom, and to spit it out in the bathroom there. This meant
getting in line with my class and trudging slowly through the halls with puke in my mouth.
I remember my feelings of worry and shame that I had thrown up, and how annoying it
would be for my teachers if they knew, and that I hoped they couldn't tell I had puke in my
mouth during my walk.
In general, I think I felt shamed into obedience as a child, and my interperetation of
'obedience' was very skewed. Had I felt comfortable to just be myself, to feel my feelings
(including sick ones) when they arose inside, I probably would have a. puked it onto the
floor or b. at least ran to a nearby bathroom to get it out and rinse out my mouth...How
uncomfortable I must have been as a young child in school, how closed and shut down, to
not even feel free to throw up for fear of upsetting others...
Part of my deschooling process is reviewing moments like this in my head, with
compassion for the little girl I was, and for the things I thought I *should* be doing. My
memories seem to continually solidify for me why unschooling is truly the best, most
amazing option for our life with River (who spits food out, onto the floor if I don't catch it,
when he doesn't like something ;)--he's only 20 months old right now, but I will
remember the spit food into my hand method as he grows and tries more foods! What a
way to instill comfort and confidence around this issue...)
I love learning here!
Lauren :)
Jenny C
> I'm thinking more in terms of his physical reactions--how to help himunderstand the
> connection between the food and the physical reaction to it (ie, whenhe eats gluten/
> wheat, he gets a painful rash on his butt within 2 days. At 20 mos, Ifind it hard to help
> him see the connection between eating the gluten one day and the rasha day or 2 later.)
Maybe it's too soon then. Sometimes kids don't and won't make those
connections within their own bodies until they are a bit older.
Sometimes they will. One of my kids always got diarhea from eating
oranges when she was really little. She made the connection before I
did. She noticed her poo looked like orange pulp and was painful and
softer than normal.
It took her longer to make other food connections. Sometimes kids don't
know what to look for, especially if its not an immediate reaction. And
sometimes parents are wrong about what their kids are reacting to.
In this particular scenario, I would gently keep as many alternatives as
possible to what I think is causing the problem, and when my kid still
wanted the food that I thought wasn't so good for them, I'd let them eat
it. I think also, that I'd keep a food log and watch for symptoms, it
would be my own scientific study of trial and error.
It might be that your child doesn't mind the rashes. Some kids are more
sensitive to that than others are. Even though, treating the symptoms
isn't the best long term approach, there are some pretty amazing rash
products out there. There are also some great tasting enzyme pills that
your kid could take that may help.
As your kid gets older, keep talking and discovering!
Pamela Sorooshian
On Nov 26, 2008, at 5:39 AM, Lauren wrote:
conscious and afraid of being embarrassed or of being a bother to
someone else. Mostly that was at school, but it carried over to home,
too. My dad was a type who seemed a little disapproving and judgmental
and I still sometimes feel a sense that he's watching and judging me
(even though he's been dead more than 20 years). My mom wasn't like
that at all, but her acceptance and support wasn't enough to ward off
the damage to my self-esteem and self-confidence.
-pam
> In general, I think I felt shamed into obedience as a child, and myI SO identify with this. I was the same way. I was SO very self-
> interperetation of
> 'obedience' was very skewed. Had I felt comfortable to just be
> myself, to feel my feelings
> (including sick ones) when they arose inside, I probably would have
> a. puked it onto the
> floor or b. at least ran to a nearby bathroom to get it out and
> rinse out my mouth...How
> uncomfortable I must have been as a young child in school, how
> closed and shut down, to
> not even feel free to throw up for fear of upsetting others...
conscious and afraid of being embarrassed or of being a bother to
someone else. Mostly that was at school, but it carried over to home,
too. My dad was a type who seemed a little disapproving and judgmental
and I still sometimes feel a sense that he's watching and judging me
(even though he's been dead more than 20 years). My mom wasn't like
that at all, but her acceptance and support wasn't enough to ward off
the damage to my self-esteem and self-confidence.
-pam
Lauren
> Maybe it's too soon then. Sometimes kids don't and won't make thoseThank you for your reply Jenny! I've read a lot of your posts in the archives and have
> connections within their own bodies until they are a bit older.
> Sometimes they will.
> In this particular scenario, I would gently keep as many alternatives as
> possible to what I think is causing the problem, and when my kid still
> wanted the food that I thought wasn't so good for them, I'd let them eat
> it.
found them really helpful on this issue, including what you've said above.
> I think also, that I'd keep a food log and watch for symptoms, itI've been very lucky to happen along the group 'foodlab' which really helped me in
> would be my own scientific study of trial and error.
creating/following through w/ an elimination diet (involving 'testing' various foods for
reactions) to determine what ds's current food sensitivities are (I know he can grow out of
them, and that they can change. Actually--you brought up enzymes--I recently
purchased enzymes, probiotics, and some vitamin supps. to help work on treating what I
believe are some gut issues...anyway...) The food log is a very good idea. I did this in the
beginning, but not so much anymore. As his diet continues to grow and include more
food, I think this will be a very valuable tool for both of us to make sense out of possible
future reactions...
> It might be that your child doesn't mind the rashes.The rashes on his face and neck don't seem to bother him. The ones around his anus
seem to be very painful--especially during bm's, which is why this is one reaction I try to
help him avoid having!
> As your kid gets older, keep talking and discovering!Thank you Jenny!!! We will! Your ideas are much appreciated!
:)
Lauren
Lisa Meuser
i'm not sure which subject category/thread this goes in, but i'll put
it here because my kid does have sensitivities / allergies to wheat,
dairy and soy.... maybe more.....
This morning Kathrynn (almost 6) told me i was the best mom in the
world *BWG*
When i asked her why, she said because "when we went to the local ice
cream place this year for the first time, you let me get two different
things, and most mom's wouldn't do that."
I smiled widely, remembering her joy in her being "allowed" to go back
to the counter and get something else.
Then i asked her why else she thought i was the best mom in the world,
and she said "because you let me eat food that has chemicals in
them." i had to chuckle a bit about this. then said to her, "well,
you know that i don't really like foods that have chemicals in them
myself, but i also really want try to respect what you want to eat."
she already knew all this, and nodded in understanding agreement.
So two things that make me the "best mom in the world" come down to me
respecting her food choices. What's most interesting, is that I used
to forbid chemicals, sugar, ect, ect ect, and had some pretty fierce
ideas about food when she was 2. Then i became a "radical
unschooler" :D
While driving to my families house this afternoon, I thought how i'd
like to share this. Thanks for the opportunity.
PS- Kathrynn picked out skittles from the gas station about half way
through our drive. We talked about how maybe having something else in
her stomach first would be helpful. She ate some hummus and carrots.
About an hour later she asked for her skittles, and handed the bag
back to me after she'd eaten a few. Then talked about how she wised we
had an orange.
it here because my kid does have sensitivities / allergies to wheat,
dairy and soy.... maybe more.....
This morning Kathrynn (almost 6) told me i was the best mom in the
world *BWG*
When i asked her why, she said because "when we went to the local ice
cream place this year for the first time, you let me get two different
things, and most mom's wouldn't do that."
I smiled widely, remembering her joy in her being "allowed" to go back
to the counter and get something else.
Then i asked her why else she thought i was the best mom in the world,
and she said "because you let me eat food that has chemicals in
them." i had to chuckle a bit about this. then said to her, "well,
you know that i don't really like foods that have chemicals in them
myself, but i also really want try to respect what you want to eat."
she already knew all this, and nodded in understanding agreement.
So two things that make me the "best mom in the world" come down to me
respecting her food choices. What's most interesting, is that I used
to forbid chemicals, sugar, ect, ect ect, and had some pretty fierce
ideas about food when she was 2. Then i became a "radical
unschooler" :D
While driving to my families house this afternoon, I thought how i'd
like to share this. Thanks for the opportunity.
PS- Kathrynn picked out skittles from the gas station about half way
through our drive. We talked about how maybe having something else in
her stomach first would be helpful. She ate some hummus and carrots.
About an hour later she asked for her skittles, and handed the bag
back to me after she'd eaten a few. Then talked about how she wised we
had an orange.
Sandra Dodd
-=-"because you let me eat food that has chemicals in
them." i had to chuckle a bit about this. then said to her, "well,
you know that i don't really like foods that have chemicals in them
myself, but i also really want try to respect what you want to
eat." ...-=-
"Food with chemicals" is a rhetorical phrase that won't make it at
all easy for her to learn chemistry (organic or inorganic). Maybe
you could find another way to say what you mean to say.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
them." i had to chuckle a bit about this. then said to her, "well,
you know that i don't really like foods that have chemicals in them
myself, but i also really want try to respect what you want to
eat." ...-=-
"Food with chemicals" is a rhetorical phrase that won't make it at
all easy for her to learn chemistry (organic or inorganic). Maybe
you could find another way to say what you mean to say.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lisa m
yes, thank you good point.
luckily we've had that conversation, so she knows what i mean when i
say "chemical." now it is sort of short hand for the longer
miscdescription.
however, maybe i should go back to saying artificial colors and
flavors and whatnot.
:)
luckily we've had that conversation, so she knows what i mean when i
say "chemical." now it is sort of short hand for the longer
miscdescription.
however, maybe i should go back to saying artificial colors and
flavors and whatnot.
:)
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-"because you let me eat food that has chemicals in
> them." i had to chuckle a bit about this. then said to her, "well,
> you know that i don't really like foods that have chemicals in them
> myself, but i also really want try to respect what you want to
> eat." ...-=-
>
> "Food with chemicals" is a rhetorical phrase that won't make it at
> all easy for her to learn chemistry (organic or inorganic). Maybe
> you could find another way to say what you mean to say.
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Gwen
I love marketing! I think it is fascinating! During high school I worked in a magazine store. They sold hundreds and hundreds of titles. It was so interesting to me to see how the same product was advertised in different ways depending on the target readership.
Megan drinks cranberry juice because she tends to have some problems with UTI's. When she first started drinking cranberry juice we were fooled a coupe of times by the giant "100%" graphic on the label. It usually isn't 100% cranberry juice or even 100% juice. It is usually something like "100% vitamin C". Which is great, but not what we want. So we've talked about why companies use big and small graphics and how to read the label.
Megan gets really annoyed with the toy ads. All the toys she wants to play with are in the "boy section". She just rolls her eyes and flips past all the pink pages until she finds dinosaurs.
Gwen
Megan drinks cranberry juice because she tends to have some problems with UTI's. When she first started drinking cranberry juice we were fooled a coupe of times by the giant "100%" graphic on the label. It usually isn't 100% cranberry juice or even 100% juice. It is usually something like "100% vitamin C". Which is great, but not what we want. So we've talked about why companies use big and small graphics and how to read the label.
Megan gets really annoyed with the toy ads. All the toys she wants to play with are in the "boy section". She just rolls her eyes and flips past all the pink pages until she finds dinosaurs.
Gwen
--- On Tue, 11/25/08, Jenny C <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
Marketing is not some big evil thing out to get our kids. There are
people who make careers out of it. It's fascinating and involves
psychology. It's not something to be feared or even avoided because one
thinks it's bad.
It's fascinating, and we can show kids how fascinating it is, rather be
scared of it and worry about it. Knowledge is Power! There's nothing
wrong with showing kids a different alternative either.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-It usually isn't 100% cranberry juice or even 100% juice. It is
usually something like "100% vitamin C". Which is great, but not
what we want. So we've talked about why companies use big and small
graphics and how to read the label.-=-
There's a big and small (and very, very tiny) graphics story here,
about the Frosted Mini-Wheats Box advertising a study that says Mini-
Wheats improves attentiveness by 20%!
I can't really tell it here. The photos are the main part:
http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/11/science-and-friday.html
About this or anything else in the whole wide world of stores and
billboards or TV, a person can smile and laugh and learn, or can get
cranky and then furious and then negative. I'm going with finding
the humor and the learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
usually something like "100% vitamin C". Which is great, but not
what we want. So we've talked about why companies use big and small
graphics and how to read the label.-=-
There's a big and small (and very, very tiny) graphics story here,
about the Frosted Mini-Wheats Box advertising a study that says Mini-
Wheats improves attentiveness by 20%!
I can't really tell it here. The photos are the main part:
http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/11/science-and-friday.html
About this or anything else in the whole wide world of stores and
billboards or TV, a person can smile and laugh and learn, or can get
cranky and then furious and then negative. I'm going with finding
the humor and the learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny C
> About this or anything else in the whole wide world of stores andFor a long time Sandra has been saying, in regards to parents who come
> billboards or TV, a person can smile and laugh and learn, or can get
> cranky and then furious and then negative. I'm going with finding
> the humor and the learning.
>
online with all their what if's/dire outcomes, that's too much
negativity.
Over the years I've gotten it more and more and more. It is too much
negativity to let anything, ads, sugar boogey man, big bad TV, anything,
become so big and negative that it impacts your family and your kids.
It's soooo much better to turn and face a different direction and look
at something with a smile. Find something beautiful in everything.
There is a world full of ugly, horrible things, things we can't change,
so why create more when we don't have to. We can see all the wonder and
beauty in the world and put the ugly and horrible in a different place
in our lives. Do something beautiful to counteract it.
Like Chamille's bedroom door sign that says "everything has the
potential to be funny"
A long time ago, I started bringing comedy movies out on purpose.
Sometimes, I'd just put them on, and soon everyone would be smiling and
laughing and making connections and having conversation. Sometimes,
when we want to watch something heavier, we do, and then watch something
light right afterward or do some other lighter fun thing, so as to not
leave us in a funk.
prism7513
> Like Chamille's bedroom door sign that says "everything has theJim (dh) learned from a co-worker a few years ago that if you read
> potential to be funny"
your fortune in a fortune cookie and then add the words "in bed" you
will pretty much end up smiling and/or laughing each time ;) Take for
example, "You will make new friends" then add "in bed..." It may not
be everyone's idea of "clean" humor, but it's a tradition Jim and I
look forward to when we eat out at the Chinese buffets around here.
Always makes sure that our dinner out ends on a positive note, even if
we discussed something serious or less than happy.
Deb
wisdomalways5
--- In [email protected], Gwen <willow_selene@...> wrote:
flips past all the pink pages until she finds dinosaurs.
stuff- i heard her tell her sister that they could not get stuff so i
explained to her that they could indeed have boy toys
julie
>to play with are in the "boy section". She just rolls her eyes and
> Megan gets really annoyed with the toy ads. All the toys she wants
flips past all the pink pages until she finds dinosaurs.
>my daughter is the same-- we walk past the girly stuff to the "boy"
> Gwen
>
stuff- i heard her tell her sister that they could not get stuff so i
explained to her that they could indeed have boy toys
julie