prism7513

Okay, it's not exactly an epiphany, but it occurred to me the other
day that the freedom to choose may also free us from the burden of
guilt, in some instances.

In college, when I started dating my first boyfriend (now DH), there
were two times when we spent the night together in the same house. We
did not have sex, or even make out (at that time...!), but I felt SO
guilty that we did this.

I had been raised that boys and girls do not sleep in the same place
after a certain, undetermined age, unless they were married. Even my
male cousins' rooms were off-limits when we played at their house, in
case "something" happened...

So even though the two instances where my boyfriend at the time and I
spent the night together (in separate rooms, even) were very
legitimate reasons (he was locked out of his house in the rain past
midnight after I dropped him off the first time, and I had no
electricity in my apartment after a tornado the second time), I still
knew that my parents disapproved (don't know why, but I tell them
everything), and I felt that God must disapprove, as well.

The thing is, I think that God's smarter than that (my personal view -
not trying to push belief in my faith!) I think had I been given the
freedom to make decisions on my own, with the knowledge that I was
TRUSTED enough to make WISE decisions, and the knowledge that any
UNWISE decisions I would own up to, then I would have made those same
decisions but probably would not have felt any guilt.

After all, what I did was not wrong, even according to the "no sex
before marriage" idea. I helped out a friend, who happened to be male,
who happened to REALLY like me :) I made a good choice.

And though I hope my children understand that sex is a very special
act to be shared only when they are certain they are ready, I also
want them to be free to make choices every day that are based not on
fear of guilt but rather on the principal of love (the kind of love
that is implied by "love your neighbor as yourself.")

Deb

Robin

My daughter (12) reads tons of manga (japanese graphic novels) they
are certainly not fine classic literature but her vocabulary is
amazing, she is learning Japanese words, culture and folklore. She
wanted to go to the anime (japanese animation) convention so she made
a costume. She draws lots of the characters and makes up her own. She
can write several words in Kanji (japanese writing) she watches the
videos in english and in Japanese with english subtitles and compares
the changes that have been made and the editing done. She can
understand the episodes in japanese now. I think it has provided an
immense amount of learning but I never would have expected
it to. I dont really like reading them myself.
When she was trying to decide which character to go as in costume she
would make a list with pro's and cons, and compare and contrast in
order to pick the best one.
There also happen to be several manga series based on gay/lesbian
couples, we discussed the lifestyles and at the convention there were
groups of teens that would form circles and 2 boys or 2 girls would
kiss in the middle. We discussed these actions and she decided she
is not against that lifestyle if that is what makes someone happy but
the actions in public of kissing like that whether they are gay or
straight are inappropriate. There have been many interesting
conversations that have been insired by the manga.
Unschooling works - Robin

Sandra Dodd

-=-The thing is, I think that God's smarter than that (my personal
view -
not trying to push belief in my faith!)-=-

Hey, listen. If God's NOT smarter than that, all the religions in
the world should be shut down now, TODAY.



Sandra

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