Brooke Cherry

I have endured hours of heated conversation with my father that sounded very similar to the Nina saga. It always starts out with him seemingly interested. I enthusiastically deliver the experience of being free. Then, slowly but surely, he continues to ask questions that are not really looking for answers. In fact he is not so subtly, implying that I am living an immoral life. When my enthusiasm turns to a reserved debate, I am turned into the bad guy. He insists that their are no insults intended. "Just curious to know how Adrian is compared to with other kids." "Just curious to know, when is too late really going too be too late for Adrian." I take a deep breath and reply, "You sir, were told that you were born a sinner. You were programmed to believe that children are deviant, manipulative and when left to their own devices are bad. You were told that your worth was equivalent to your test scores and praise. After some time in adulthood you
reflected back on your childhood. Experiencing mixed memories, varying from comfort to Shame. At some point you had to decide your own worth. At some point you had to backtrack through all the programs of "Shoulds" and become who you are. Adrian will not have to waste that same valuable time. There for he is already ahead of both of us.". Thank you Nina for playing the devils advocate so that we can see a conversation we have over and over again played out exteriorly. Thank you Sandra and all others who replied, strengthening my convictions in our lifestyle. When I have this debate personally, I can end up doubting myself. All I have to do to come back to center is look at Adrian, read these posts and trust. TRUST folks!!! That is what separates us. We give our children unconditional trust and love. With that, their is nothing to resist. People everywhere make choices based upon taking back their identity. They choose what they cant have or was
never allowed simply on that basis. Choices that can be detrimental, just because it is human nature to resist. We save our children thousands of dollars in therapy fees by allowing them to discover themselves everyday. We don't "tell" we allow. These children are living in freedom not sin. Those in power have  taught us that we need to be controlled. We don't buy into it. The people that are "out of control" are simply resisting and suffering from our societies need to control. Unschooled children are the hope for an enlightened tomorrow. They are kind and compassionate. They have never been set up against each other. I see this revolution similar to the civil and equal rights movements. When the movements for change were introduced they were not welcomed with open arms. Yet, in both cases, after all was said and done, we all agree those changes were absolutely necessary. Well done everyone. No one is fighting Nina personally. We are
universally protecting the unconditional trust and love that we are bestowing upon the next generation.

I do not write this for the group. You already know this story. I write this for myself. I write this to end the on going struggle in my heart and in my head. It is not society that I had to convince, it was myself.  It is my head that the heavy and doubtful voices of others, torment me. With this post I have declared independence. Now I may live my hearts chosen lifestyle in peace.

Thank You  




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny

You may not have intended this for the group but I must thank you for
these powerfull words.

I am a brand new unschooler. Closet unschooler in fact. We had a
terrible time in public school, and I always new in my heart there
was a better way for us. My 7 yr old dtr, so bright, so talented, so
confident was turning into a sad little ball of frusteration.
I am so very gratefull to have fallen upon the "unschooling canada"
group in my desperate attempt to find something, anything to help
her. The network of info and support I received was astounding. I was
directed to Sandras site and Joyces, and spent a few wakefull nights
reading through the tears. Within a very short time i was convinced
that unschooling was the healing, whole, natural way we were
craving.

Although I trust this process, I too am tourmented in my head by
the opinions and fears of others. ( is it possible to be both
trusting and yet tourmented?? I don't know)
I have gained alot from reading the posts here as well. Yours struck
a cord in me. Bearing the truth that as we do what we believe is
right/natural/healthy for our children/ourselves, we are often in the
spotlight. As we do not conform to society and carve our own paths,
we often are targets of tough critisism, often by those closest to
us.

Reading here lately has brought to mind the truth that no matter the
attempts made to mold us as human BEINGS, WE make the ultimate choice
as to who we will become. I decided to BE who I am today. No thanks
to any kind of box that my parents, school or any other athority
tried to stuff me in. And in fact those attempts are what still hold
me back today from living in true personal freedome.

TRUST. So powerfull. freedome.

So glad to have saved my children from the grips of conformity, and
to send them gently into the world as whole poeple. And as I do I
heal and become whole too.
Thank you to all of you for your willingness to share in this
awareness. Together we are raising the vibration, creating a
beautifull space for our children to continue to cultivate love and
awareness in their own lives bringing much healing to this world..

OK enough of my airy farieness....Its time for bed..
Jenny Coburn.....Wink to Robyn....Coburns are a good bunch!

--- In [email protected], Brooke Cherry
<loveascreator@...> wrote:
>
> I have endured hours of heated conversation with my father that
sounded very similar to the Nina saga. It always starts out with him
seemingly interested. I enthusiastically deliver the experience of
being free. Then, slowly but surely, he continues to ask questions
that are not really looking for answers. In fact he is not so subtly,
implying that I am living an immoral life. When my enthusiasm turns
to a reserved debate, I am turned into the bad guy. He insists that
their are no insults intended. "Just curious to know how Adrian is
compared to with other kids." "Just curious to know, when is too late
really going too be too late for Adrian." I take a deep breath and
reply, "You sir, were told that you were born a sinner. You were
programmed to believe that children are deviant, manipulative and
when left to their own devices are bad. You were told that your worth
was equivalent to your test scores and praise. After some time in
adulthood you
> reflected back on your childhood. Experiencing mixed
memories, varying from comfort to Shame. At some point you had to
decide your own worth. At some point you had to backtrack through all
the programs of "Shoulds" and become who you are. Adrian will not
have to waste that same valuable time. There for he is already ahead
of both of us.". Thank you Nina for playing the devils advocate so
that we can see a conversation we have over and over again played out
exteriorly. Thank you Sandra and all others who replied,
strengthening my convictions in our lifestyle. When I have this
debate personally, I can end up doubting myself. All I have to do to
come back to center is look at Adrian, read these posts and trust.
TRUST folks!!! That is what separates us. We give our children
unconditional trust and love. With that, their is nothing to resist.
People everywhere make choices based upon taking back their identity.
They choose what they cant have or was
> never allowed simply on that basis. Choices that can be
detrimental, just because it is human nature to resist. We save our
children thousands of dollars in therapy fees by allowing them to
discover themselves everyday. We don't "tell" we allow. These
children are living in freedom not sin. Those in power have  taught
us that we need to be controlled. We don't buy into it. The people
that are "out of control" are simply resisting and suffering from our
societies need to control. Unschooled children are the hope for an
enlightened tomorrow. They are kind and compassionate. They have
never been set up against each other. I see this revolution similar
to the civil and equal rights movements. When the movements for
change were introduced they were not welcomed with open arms. Yet, in
both cases, after all was said and done, we all agree those changes
were absolutely necessary. Well done everyone. No one is fighting
Nina personally. We are
> universally protecting the unconditional trust and love that we
are bestowing upon the next generation.
>
> I do not write this for the group. You already know this story. I
write this for myself. I write this to end the on going struggle in
my heart and in my head. It is not society that I had to convince,
it was myself.  It is my head that the heavy and doubtful voices of
others, torment me. With this post I have declared independence. Now
I may live my hearts chosen lifestyle in peace.
>
> Thank You  
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

Brooke,

I'm glad you were able to find some clarity in that little
trainwreck. I don't mind people coming here and being strident or
even a little crazed, because others are reading. It's better when
they strike and retreat instead of staying and staying until they're
exhausted and look bad. Think of that with your dad, too, though.
He makes a strike, it doesn't really wound you, and it's better to
let it stop there than to wrestle him into the dirt. Especially a
relative. He's going to be back.

It's possible that Nina was a tag-team partner of the one before
her. That's happened often over the years. People will use a group
like this for their own social-jackoff amusement. But the responses
to someone who didn't actually want help are often as useful as those
to people who are sincere.

I have a couple of suggestions about your dad.

-=-He insists that their are no insults intended. "Just curious to
know how Adrian is compared to with other kids." "Just curious to
know, when is too late really going too be too late for Adrian."-=-

Sometimes teacher friends of mine would ask me something like that,
and having been a teacher and knowing how teachers will gloss over
the harsh parts of school, a few times I said "Well if it turns out
this doesn't work at all, we can put him in special ed and they'll
fix him right up." One of my friends was a reknowned special ed
teacher with awards and commendations. One taught preschool for the
deaf. Others were "regular" teachers. But they all knew before the
phrase was even out what my point was. School creates LOTS of kids
who are "behind" and school wounds them so they'll stay there.
Special ed creates more jobs for teachers and takes the problem kids
away from regular classrooms, but they don't "fix them right up."

I'm not recommending you say all that to your dad. I'm saying you
could find some version of "it's never too late" that he might
understand.

People move from country to country where they have to learn a whole
new language, mathematical notation, and way to go to the bathroom,
and they survive and thrive. A native speaker with the internet is
"ahead" in many ways already.

-=-" I take a deep breath and reply, "You sir, were told that you
were born a sinner. You were programmed to believe that children are
deviant, manipulative and when left to their own devices are bad. You
were told that your worth was equivalent to your test scores and
praise.-=-

If he still is Christian and really believes it, the "programmed"
word would be worse than anything he might have said to you. If
he's Catholic, find some quotes from theologians who weren't so into
original sin. If he's fundamentalist protestant, just avoid the
topic, because he's more afraid of you than you are of him. If he
believes the Bible in a fundamentalist way, that's not "programming,"
that's simple truth, in his mind. Anyone who doesn't believe it has
been lured away or programmed. It's not worth arguing with him about
that one.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

prism7513

>
> It's possible that Nina was a tag-team partner of the one before
> her. That's happened often over the years. People will use a group
> like this for their own social-jackoff amusement.

Just wanted to assure you that I have never met the previous poster,
and I read with amusement as I thought, "Oh, no, here we go
again...they are having a bad week on here after me!"

I'm still letting ideas circulate, formulate, and am waiting until I
have something intelligent to ask and a direction to go...:) I want
this bad enough that I'm not giving up, and I got over the hurt
(mostly!), and I see where this list is coming from. I still have TONS
of questions, but I'm honestly trying to just observe, be, and stew
(in a good way - is there good stewing? Or perhaps a better word? I'm
thinking that I'm cooking for a long, long, time...not angry kind of
stewing, just MATURING kind of stewing...)

Thank you, and will be back eventually,

Deb

k

Stewing perhaps some of that. Better yet... percolating. I do that a lot.
:)

~Katherine




On 9/30/08, prism7513 <penley75@...> wrote:
>
>
> >
> > It's possible that Nina was a tag-team partner of the one before
> > her. That's happened often over the years. People will use a group
> > like this for their own social-jackoff amusement.
>
> Just wanted to assure you that I have never met the previous poster,
> and I read with amusement as I thought, "Oh, no, here we go
> again...they are having a bad week on here after me!"
>
> I'm still letting ideas circulate, formulate, and am waiting until I
> have something intelligent to ask and a direction to go...:) I want
> this bad enough that I'm not giving up, and I got over the hurt
> (mostly!), and I see where this list is coming from. I still have TONS
> of questions, but I'm honestly trying to just observe, be, and stew
> (in a good way - is there good stewing? Or perhaps a better word? I'm
> thinking that I'm cooking for a long, long, time...not angry kind of
> stewing, just MATURING kind of stewing...)
>
> Thank you, and will be back eventually,
>
> Deb
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-(in a good way - is there good stewing? Or perhaps a better word? -=-

Becoming aware.
Letting the information flow through you and around you.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

diana jenner

The "board of wisdom" down the street once said: "Doing Beats Stewing"
If you're involved in your daily life, quieting one at a time the niggling
voices, there's little room for stewing about what you're DOing.

Right now it says "Don't Major in Minor Things"
One of these days I'm gonna go hug the proprietor of the storage spot and
thank them for their wisdom ;)
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com


On Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 8:52 AM, prism7513 <penley75@...> wrote:

> just observe, be, and stew
> (in a good way - is there good stewing? Or perhaps a better word? I'm
> thinking that I'm cooking for a long, long, time...not angry kind of
> stewing, just MATURING kind of stewing...)
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

There is a church down the street from us that posts stuff like that.
It has been the impetus for many good car conversations!

-pam

On Sep 30, 2008, at 2:09 PM, diana jenner wrote:

> Right now it says "Don't Major in Minor Things"
> One of these days I'm gonna go hug the proprietor of the storage
> spot and
> thank them for their wisdom ;