I want that breakdowns
Crystal Miller
<<And so I tell him that. And I explain that I just don't have money to buy
everything in the store.>>
I try to 'solutionize' things as they come up - (I know, 'solutionize' is
not a real word but it works for me). We had this similar situation coming
up quite often several years ago. What I determined the problem to be was
that I was the one who had all the power with all the money when we went to
the store. I also had all the rights to make the decision of the 'value' of
the item she wanted - soooo not a good place to be in when this Mama is
about the relationship.
The solution we came up with was to figure out a monthly portion of the
budget for Sorscha (aka now going as Tail's) - in our case it's $100.00. At
first she would spend the entire amount in the first few days, but as time
as gone by she has figured out how to budget herself. I've had people say
to me, "$100.00!!! You're crazy." However, what I determined was that
Tail's was spending more like $200.00 to $300.00 because I was trying to
accommodate her wishes by saying, "yes" and I was also trying to divert
disagreements, etc. I'm not posting this to say you should give your kiddo
$100.00 bucks, but it would be nice to figure out an amount that works for
your family's budget. Both Tail's and I are much happier now. Trips to the
store are peaceful and our relationship doesn't revolve that particular
power issue.
We don't have any of the 'I want that' that happens in the subtle 'please,
please, please because I really know you won't buy it for me' way, but we
now have dialogue about each of our monies. For instance, I'll say, "Ohhhh,
I want a Starbuck's coffee but I don't want to spend my money on it."
Speaking of 'our monies', I also have a budget that negates any money power
struggles between Dave & I. <g>
Crystal in NM
http://livingtheliquidlife.blogspot.com/
everything in the store.>>
I try to 'solutionize' things as they come up - (I know, 'solutionize' is
not a real word but it works for me). We had this similar situation coming
up quite often several years ago. What I determined the problem to be was
that I was the one who had all the power with all the money when we went to
the store. I also had all the rights to make the decision of the 'value' of
the item she wanted - soooo not a good place to be in when this Mama is
about the relationship.
The solution we came up with was to figure out a monthly portion of the
budget for Sorscha (aka now going as Tail's) - in our case it's $100.00. At
first she would spend the entire amount in the first few days, but as time
as gone by she has figured out how to budget herself. I've had people say
to me, "$100.00!!! You're crazy." However, what I determined was that
Tail's was spending more like $200.00 to $300.00 because I was trying to
accommodate her wishes by saying, "yes" and I was also trying to divert
disagreements, etc. I'm not posting this to say you should give your kiddo
$100.00 bucks, but it would be nice to figure out an amount that works for
your family's budget. Both Tail's and I are much happier now. Trips to the
store are peaceful and our relationship doesn't revolve that particular
power issue.
We don't have any of the 'I want that' that happens in the subtle 'please,
please, please because I really know you won't buy it for me' way, but we
now have dialogue about each of our monies. For instance, I'll say, "Ohhhh,
I want a Starbuck's coffee but I don't want to spend my money on it."
Speaking of 'our monies', I also have a budget that negates any money power
struggles between Dave & I. <g>
Crystal in NM
http://livingtheliquidlife.blogspot.com/