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In a message dated 11/27/01 1:04:01 AM, SandraDodd@... writes:

<< -=-This is way out there, but I feel like people can never get enough of
(be satisfied by) something that isn't really satisfying. -=-

It seems to be the nature of humans to feel unsatisfied, to want something
more, better, different, and new. >>

Satisfaction is having a need met. It can also be lesson learned, job well
done, confirmation of a path taken. It can be the feeling of a moment's
reflection, or an overview. To say that something isn't really satisfying
seems to demand more of the feeling than is necessarily appropriate. To
imply that unless imbued with altruism, the feeling is selfish and of lower
quality.

Nick (my 12 year old) seems to find real satisfaction in playing D&D. Go
figure. What he gets out of it:

He has characters he imbues with characteristics and personality -- he
controls their actions but not their fate. He learns to deal with adversity
and disappointment, to come up with solutions to unexpected challenges. He
experiments with responses which have no real life consequences, in the
company of friends. He gets to make mistakes and try again, without hurting
someone "real". He and his friends play for hours at a time -- they argue
and negotiate, debate the merits of a over b -- these are real skills which
will in future serve them well.

He's also the Dungeon Master (the person who develops the story for a group
of gamers) for a weekly online group. He started this group -- and has
members ranging from 15 to 30 years in age. His ability to plan a quest in
advance, to decide what problems the groups will face, which monsters they
will encounter, what pitfalls will spring up -- amazes and pleases me. I
value his imagination and ability to guide and inspire others.

Childhood is short. I know there's a mindset which says that we denigrate
childhood by assuming it wants no altruism, to make no real difference in the
world. That to imply by allowing children to stay at home or in school,
"wait until you're older to make a real difference" invalidates the child as
a whole and capable person. Eh.

When I was in seventh grade, as a class, we collected money for food,
packaged it up, and drove an hour and a half to a small town, and delivered
food packages to families whose fathers were in jail. I felt both awkward
and self-righteous -- awkward because some families seemed uncomfortable with
us trooping into their house with boxes of food, and self-righteous because
some famiies lived in "nice" houses and how was it they needed this support?
I did a supportive action, without having the perspective to really
understand it. I got the underlying emotions, without awareness of what
their situations really were.

That same year, we spent some time playing with children at a penitentiary,
during visiting hours for families, so husbands and wives could talk without
interruption. There was resentment and hostility swirling around which now,
I can certainly understand. But then, it was confusing and alarming.

There are children who've done amazing things with volunteer efforts. There
are adults as well. But not all adults do. Not all children do. Such is
life.

I want to give my kids time to grow up internally, at their pace, in a
supportive environment geared to who they are. I contribute to causes which
are important to me -- and if my kids decided they wanted to participate in a
cause, I'd support that too. But I'm not going to nudge them into it as
something which they should be doing now, to be real. There are gives and
gets, as in all things.

Sharon