I need an attitude adjustment :)
carnationsgalore
Allie (10) wants to start public school this week. I've posted that
she's been bored, lonely, and restless. I talked with her about ways
to be more social: getting a webcam and talking with friends online,
joining Girl Scouts and other classes, and making a point to get out
of the house every day just for a change of scenery. She dismissed
all those ideas and insisted that being in public school was going to
be the best choice for her right now.
I want to be supportive and most especially positive. Besides my
personal experience with school, I know how being a student in school
has influenced her in the past. She adapts to the general rhythm of
the kids around her which has not been really positive in my
opinion. Then there are the school hours to consider. Allie's
natural sleep/wake rhythm is to go to sleep around 2am and sleep
until past noon every day. When she was in school last year, she got
angry that she had to try to fall asleep early in the evening in
order to wake up early in the morning. And the mornings weren't
pleasant because she was always grumpy. It was one of the biggest
reasons she chose to leave school last year. That hasn't changed at
all during the year.
I don't want to become the mom who forces bedtimes and wake times but
I feel responsible for her getting up, even though she's the one who
has decided to go to school. I really need some advice on how to
handle this. I'd love to let Allie go whenever she feels like it but
the whole idea of school is to be on their schedule. After 5
absences, the school social worker contacts the family to find out
why the student is missing school. In order for absences to be
excused, we have to have a doctor's note. What do I do if Allie
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?
My DH thinks Allie won't stay in school very long. He thinks it will
give her something to focus on for a while until she's ready for a
change. And he also said that when she leaves school it will be good
for her to have made all these decisions because we, the parents,
aren't imposing our own rules or expectations on her. I'm happy that
my DH is so on board for unschooling now, but I'm just feeling really
bad about this whole school thing.
Beth M.
she's been bored, lonely, and restless. I talked with her about ways
to be more social: getting a webcam and talking with friends online,
joining Girl Scouts and other classes, and making a point to get out
of the house every day just for a change of scenery. She dismissed
all those ideas and insisted that being in public school was going to
be the best choice for her right now.
I want to be supportive and most especially positive. Besides my
personal experience with school, I know how being a student in school
has influenced her in the past. She adapts to the general rhythm of
the kids around her which has not been really positive in my
opinion. Then there are the school hours to consider. Allie's
natural sleep/wake rhythm is to go to sleep around 2am and sleep
until past noon every day. When she was in school last year, she got
angry that she had to try to fall asleep early in the evening in
order to wake up early in the morning. And the mornings weren't
pleasant because she was always grumpy. It was one of the biggest
reasons she chose to leave school last year. That hasn't changed at
all during the year.
I don't want to become the mom who forces bedtimes and wake times but
I feel responsible for her getting up, even though she's the one who
has decided to go to school. I really need some advice on how to
handle this. I'd love to let Allie go whenever she feels like it but
the whole idea of school is to be on their schedule. After 5
absences, the school social worker contacts the family to find out
why the student is missing school. In order for absences to be
excused, we have to have a doctor's note. What do I do if Allie
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?
My DH thinks Allie won't stay in school very long. He thinks it will
give her something to focus on for a while until she's ready for a
change. And he also said that when she leaves school it will be good
for her to have made all these decisions because we, the parents,
aren't imposing our own rules or expectations on her. I'm happy that
my DH is so on board for unschooling now, but I'm just feeling really
bad about this whole school thing.
Beth M.
Sandra Dodd
-=-What do I do if Allie
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?-=-
Both? But that doesn't mean you "have to" "make her" follow their
rules.
Maybe you could write a letter to the school saying your daughter
likes beginnings of school, but you would personally prefer
homeschooling. You could ask if the school wants to make an
exception for her, and let her have more than the minimum absences.
You could explain it all in the happiest and most positive way,
saying you'll help her some but you won't force her to go; you won't
sabotage it nor will you enforce school's rules.
Maybe if they see it's to their advantage to cut her a deal, they'll
loosen up.
They operate from the assumption that parents will back their plays.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?-=-
Both? But that doesn't mean you "have to" "make her" follow their
rules.
Maybe you could write a letter to the school saying your daughter
likes beginnings of school, but you would personally prefer
homeschooling. You could ask if the school wants to make an
exception for her, and let her have more than the minimum absences.
You could explain it all in the happiest and most positive way,
saying you'll help her some but you won't force her to go; you won't
sabotage it nor will you enforce school's rules.
Maybe if they see it's to their advantage to cut her a deal, they'll
loosen up.
They operate from the assumption that parents will back their plays.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
graberamy
<<<<<<<<In order for absences to be
social reasons and Graham wanted to also. I have them in two different
school districts because Lydia wanted to go to our neighborhood school
and Graham joined a lego league through a montessori school so wanted to
go there. ( I had them on the waiting list since Kindergarton at this
Montessori school in case they ever decided to go)
I'm not sure where you live so I'm not sure what the laws are. Here in
Iowa they offer dual enrollment. Graham is doing that. He goes to
school for PE, art, music, lunch and recess. The school is NOT
responsible for assessing him so they really don't care if he's there or
not! Come when he wants, leave when he wants! If he doesn't feel like
going (which one day this first week he didn't) I just shoot his teacher
an email.
I had hoped Lydia would do the same (dual enrollment) but she wanted to
try the whole deal. She had a bike accident right before school started
and we've been to quite a few dentist appointments and doctors
appointments. I asked Lydia if she wanted to go during the day or after
school. She prefers to go during the day so I have her leave. Needless
to say, I am already getting looks and they are making things more
difficult than they have to. Personally, I don't mind, it just
reinforces to Lydia the negatives of school life.
Anyway, my point is different districts may have different tolerance
levels. Different types of schools (montessori, private, charter) have
different philosophies so I would do your research. Also find out your
states homeschool laws and find out your options!
Lydia was asking me how much school she could miss and if she could show
up late. I told her, that if it got to the point that she wasn't really
wanting to go or be there that she would either have to switch to dual
enrollment or go back to homeschool/unschool because at some point I
will be held legally liable. I'll let it go as far as I can for her.
She is informed and sets her alarm and gets up before everyone else in
the house. I usually hear her so then get up and see her off. If she
needed my help getting up and getting to bed I would help her.
just go in the afternoons??
Lydia asked me if she would have a bedtime when school started! I said
with a smile, do you want a bedtime? She shrugged like she thought
that would go with it. I told her I function best with 8 hours of sleep
and someone your age probably functions best with 10. But try it out
yourself. So, she is. She's gone to bed a different times and some
days she's been dragging more than others.
I do know friends in the public school system who travel a lot and miss
way more than the amount of time they're "allowed" to miss. So, I'm
sure if you talk to the school and have a reason to be gone, they MAY be
more understanding.
I know I have organized some field trips and plays this upcoming year
and Lydia still wants to go. So, we'll have to see how the school
reacts. If it's negative, it'll just put a more positive light on our
unschooling life!
-amy g
iowa
> excused, we have to have a doctor's note. What do I do if AllieThis year my kids have tried public school. Lydia wanted to go for
> doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
> she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
> following their rules?>>>>>>>>>
social reasons and Graham wanted to also. I have them in two different
school districts because Lydia wanted to go to our neighborhood school
and Graham joined a lego league through a montessori school so wanted to
go there. ( I had them on the waiting list since Kindergarton at this
Montessori school in case they ever decided to go)
I'm not sure where you live so I'm not sure what the laws are. Here in
Iowa they offer dual enrollment. Graham is doing that. He goes to
school for PE, art, music, lunch and recess. The school is NOT
responsible for assessing him so they really don't care if he's there or
not! Come when he wants, leave when he wants! If he doesn't feel like
going (which one day this first week he didn't) I just shoot his teacher
an email.
I had hoped Lydia would do the same (dual enrollment) but she wanted to
try the whole deal. She had a bike accident right before school started
and we've been to quite a few dentist appointments and doctors
appointments. I asked Lydia if she wanted to go during the day or after
school. She prefers to go during the day so I have her leave. Needless
to say, I am already getting looks and they are making things more
difficult than they have to. Personally, I don't mind, it just
reinforces to Lydia the negatives of school life.
Anyway, my point is different districts may have different tolerance
levels. Different types of schools (montessori, private, charter) have
different philosophies so I would do your research. Also find out your
states homeschool laws and find out your options!
Lydia was asking me how much school she could miss and if she could show
up late. I told her, that if it got to the point that she wasn't really
wanting to go or be there that she would either have to switch to dual
enrollment or go back to homeschool/unschool because at some point I
will be held legally liable. I'll let it go as far as I can for her.
She is informed and sets her alarm and gets up before everyone else in
the house. I usually hear her so then get up and see her off. If she
needed my help getting up and getting to bed I would help her.
> I don't want to become the mom who forces bedtimes and wake times butTalk to her ahead of time. Talk about the realities. See if she can
> I feel responsible for her getting up, even though she's the one who
> has decided to go to school. >>>
just go in the afternoons??
Lydia asked me if she would have a bedtime when school started! I said
with a smile, do you want a bedtime? She shrugged like she thought
that would go with it. I told her I function best with 8 hours of sleep
and someone your age probably functions best with 10. But try it out
yourself. So, she is. She's gone to bed a different times and some
days she's been dragging more than others.
I do know friends in the public school system who travel a lot and miss
way more than the amount of time they're "allowed" to miss. So, I'm
sure if you talk to the school and have a reason to be gone, they MAY be
more understanding.
I know I have organized some field trips and plays this upcoming year
and Lydia still wants to go. So, we'll have to see how the school
reacts. If it's negative, it'll just put a more positive light on our
unschooling life!
-amy g
iowa
Sandra Dodd
-=-I do know friends in the public school system who travel a lot and
miss
way more than the amount of time they're "allowed" to miss. So, I'm
sure if you talk to the school and have a reason to be gone, they MAY be
more understanding.-=-
Yes. If they choose NOT to be more understanding, that's one less
head to count when they claim state funding, and one more unschooler
at your house!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
miss
way more than the amount of time they're "allowed" to miss. So, I'm
sure if you talk to the school and have a reason to be gone, they MAY be
more understanding.-=-
Yes. If they choose NOT to be more understanding, that's one less
head to count when they claim state funding, and one more unschooler
at your house!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carnationsgalore
> I'm not sure where you live so I'm not sure what the laws are.I live in Georgia. I've talked with lots of homeschoolers, school
officials in two counties, and a couple of teachers. The only way
I've found to do part-time school is to have a special IEP which is a
special plan written for special education students. Even then, the
special ed teacher who told me about it said the school officials
would never tell me about it or offer it. Instead, I'd be better off
hiring an attorney to send letters to make sure the IEP was not only
written, but followed. Oh, and this woman's advice was her way of
getting my son into school where she believes he'd be more successful
in life. I'm thinking if I have to go through all that for what the
schools to consider to be special ed, they aren't likely going to
work nicely with me for a non-special ed student.
However, I am willing to try talking with the principal again. She
knows me from our previous time there. I will call tuesday morning
to see if I can speak with her.
Oh, I also talked with a Montessori school last year. I asked if I
could pay full tuition and have my daughter attend only part of the
day and they said it wasn't possible. I was surprised because they
were a private school.
> I know I have organized some field trips and plays this upcomingIt's considered an unexcused absence in our state. I explained the
> year and Lydia still wants to go. So, we'll have to see how the
> school reacts. If it's negative, it'll just put a more positive
> light on our unschooling life!
absences to the teachers and school principals but they said their
hands were tied because of school policy. I wish we lived in a state
that was more flexible.
We'll see how that phone call goes on tuesday with the principal.
Beth M.
nymodels2
change the name to jesse & u r talkin bout my son. he tried school last semister & forget it. he wants to try again this yr but we all know how that will work out. also we don't have school bus transportation & i can't let a 12 yo ryde the harley 2 school. g.l.
In a message dated 08/31/08 14:03:31 Eastern Daylight Time, addled.homemaker@... writes:
Allie (10) wants to start public school this week. I've posted that
she's been bored, lonely, and restless. I talked with her about ways
to be more social: getting a webcam and talking with friends online,
joining Girl Scouts and other classes, and making a point to get out
of the house every day just for a change of scenery. She dismissed
all those ideas and insisted that being in public school was going to
be the best choice for her right now.
I want to be supportive and most especially positive. Besides my
personal experience with school, I know how being a student in school
has influenced her in the past. She adapts to the general rhythm of
the kids around her which has not been really positive in my
opinion. Then there are the school hours to consider. Allie's
natural sleep/wake rhythm is to go to sleep around 2am and sleep
until past noon every day. When she was in school last year, she got
angry that she had to try to fall asleep early in the evening in
order to wake up early in the morning. And the mornings weren't
pleasant because she was always grumpy. It was one of the biggest
reasons she chose to leave school last year. That hasn't changed at
all during the year.
I don't want to become the mom who forces bedtimes and wake times but
I feel responsible for her getting up, even though she's the one who
has decided to go to school. I really need some advice on how to
handle this. I'd love to let Allie go whenever she feels like it but
the whole idea of school is to be on their schedule. After 5
absences, the school social worker contacts the family to find out
why the student is missing school. In order for absences to be
excused, we have to have a doctor's note. What do I do if Allie
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?
My DH thinks Allie won't stay in school very long. He thinks it will
give her something to focus on for a while until she's ready for a
change. And he also said that when she leaves school it will be good
for her to have made all these decisions because we, the parents,
aren't imposing our own rules or expectations on her. I'm happy that
my DH is so on board for unschooling now, but I'm just feeling really
bad about this whole school thing.
Beth M.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In a message dated 08/31/08 14:03:31 Eastern Daylight Time, addled.homemaker@... writes:
Allie (10) wants to start public school this week. I've posted that
she's been bored, lonely, and restless. I talked with her about ways
to be more social: getting a webcam and talking with friends online,
joining Girl Scouts and other classes, and making a point to get out
of the house every day just for a change of scenery. She dismissed
all those ideas and insisted that being in public school was going to
be the best choice for her right now.
I want to be supportive and most especially positive. Besides my
personal experience with school, I know how being a student in school
has influenced her in the past. She adapts to the general rhythm of
the kids around her which has not been really positive in my
opinion. Then there are the school hours to consider. Allie's
natural sleep/wake rhythm is to go to sleep around 2am and sleep
until past noon every day. When she was in school last year, she got
angry that she had to try to fall asleep early in the evening in
order to wake up early in the morning. And the mornings weren't
pleasant because she was always grumpy. It was one of the biggest
reasons she chose to leave school last year. That hasn't changed at
all during the year.
I don't want to become the mom who forces bedtimes and wake times but
I feel responsible for her getting up, even though she's the one who
has decided to go to school. I really need some advice on how to
handle this. I'd love to let Allie go whenever she feels like it but
the whole idea of school is to be on their schedule. After 5
absences, the school social worker contacts the family to find out
why the student is missing school. In order for absences to be
excused, we have to have a doctor's note. What do I do if Allie
doesn't want to wake up for school? Should I let her miss any days
she wants to miss or explain that the choice of school means
following their rules?
My DH thinks Allie won't stay in school very long. He thinks it will
give her something to focus on for a while until she's ready for a
change. And he also said that when she leaves school it will be good
for her to have made all these decisions because we, the parents,
aren't imposing our own rules or expectations on her. I'm happy that
my DH is so on board for unschooling now, but I'm just feeling really
bad about this whole school thing.
Beth M.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]