Injuries
swissarmy_wife
As some of you know my 3.5 year old has a broken leg and is in a full
leg cast. I am also nursing a 7 week old. Yesterday, my nine year
old came home from a friend/relatives house saying his foot was hurt.
Throughout the afternoon, his injury slowly got worse until he
adjusted the little ones crutches for his own use. Milo, with the
broken leg, got upset, because even though he doesn't use them often
they are his. Skylar won't give them back. His reasoning is that
Milo does not use them.
So, Skylar has been demanding almost all of our attention last night
and today. He has had one major meltdown already. These are few and
far between for him, but not abnormal. He is a very level headed kid
most of the time, but something has creeped up for him. He seems to
be opposing anything and everything. He asks for help, then when its
given he refuses it. He complains about how badly his foot hurts yet
refuses to see a doctor. He has twice fallen down with the crutches.
Once almost doing a face plant and actually hurting his other foot.
I suggested he rest his foot and watch a movie or play video games but
he insists on hobbling around the house while throwing himself upon
the furniture and all over the floor.
He is REALLY wound up right now. I'm trying to accommodate him
however we can. We've been getting him ice packs and listening to his
needs. I'm really frustrated with this. Maybe more than I should be.
We are really focusing on him since we know that he is probably
feeling a little left out attention wise. We're driving him 2 hours
north to get a drum for the conference and getting him a new phone
today even though we originally said he would probably have to choose.
I'm running around getting him food and ice packs and whatever he
needs while the baby cries and while his brother waits for someone to
take him to the bathroom. I'm certain his injury isn't quite as bad
as he is letting on, but I do not want to say that and I do want to
imply that i don't believe him. I totally believe his foot hurts. He
jumped off a truck. :-)
I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
leg cast. I am also nursing a 7 week old. Yesterday, my nine year
old came home from a friend/relatives house saying his foot was hurt.
Throughout the afternoon, his injury slowly got worse until he
adjusted the little ones crutches for his own use. Milo, with the
broken leg, got upset, because even though he doesn't use them often
they are his. Skylar won't give them back. His reasoning is that
Milo does not use them.
So, Skylar has been demanding almost all of our attention last night
and today. He has had one major meltdown already. These are few and
far between for him, but not abnormal. He is a very level headed kid
most of the time, but something has creeped up for him. He seems to
be opposing anything and everything. He asks for help, then when its
given he refuses it. He complains about how badly his foot hurts yet
refuses to see a doctor. He has twice fallen down with the crutches.
Once almost doing a face plant and actually hurting his other foot.
I suggested he rest his foot and watch a movie or play video games but
he insists on hobbling around the house while throwing himself upon
the furniture and all over the floor.
He is REALLY wound up right now. I'm trying to accommodate him
however we can. We've been getting him ice packs and listening to his
needs. I'm really frustrated with this. Maybe more than I should be.
We are really focusing on him since we know that he is probably
feeling a little left out attention wise. We're driving him 2 hours
north to get a drum for the conference and getting him a new phone
today even though we originally said he would probably have to choose.
I'm running around getting him food and ice packs and whatever he
needs while the baby cries and while his brother waits for someone to
take him to the bathroom. I'm certain his injury isn't quite as bad
as he is letting on, but I do not want to say that and I do want to
imply that i don't believe him. I totally believe his foot hurts. He
jumped off a truck. :-)
I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...>
I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
-=-=-==-
It *could* just be attention-seeking, but *we* cannot know that. When
we need attention, we *need* attention. <g>
If it *is* a serious injury, he will probably eventually decide to see
a doctor.
But when he gets to the conference, it probably won't hurt quite as
much---either from time/healing OR from excitement/adrenaline.
So this may not be an issue in a few days. (This too shall pass. <g>)
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...>
I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
-=-=-==-
It *could* just be attention-seeking, but *we* cannot know that. When
we need attention, we *need* attention. <g>
If it *is* a serious injury, he will probably eventually decide to see
a doctor.
But when he gets to the conference, it probably won't hurt quite as
much---either from time/healing OR from excitement/adrenaline.
So this may not be an issue in a few days. (This too shall pass. <g>)
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Ren Allen
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
distraction I start stroking their head and imagining what it would be
like if they had a terminal illness and I knew my time with them was
limited.
Ren
>This may sound extreme, but when one of my kids is driving me to
> -----Original Message-----
> From: swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...>
>
> I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
> will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
>
distraction I start stroking their head and imagining what it would be
like if they had a terminal illness and I knew my time with them was
limited.
Ren
Sue Sullivan
I love that you're looking for internal dialogue! I wish I'd realized
much earlier in my life how much my experience is created by my
internal dialogue...
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try to remember that it's not
permanent. It's only been a day (or two, or a week, or a few short
years, depending on what I'm feeling overwhelmed by.) More than
anything, it helps me to realize that the situation will change and my
feelings about it will change, and sooner rather than later.
That I, at 43, can feel so jealous and unappreciated, so of course can
my child. And it's okay, it's natural, it's just a chance to practice
working with negative emotions.
That I can sit with my child, and focus on breathing and being okay
with their feelings (which helps me learn to be okay with mine) while
they have their experience, and maybe that helps them understand how to
contain it, or let it pass through them, or however you might
conceptualize the flow of emotions.
It's natural. It's okay to feel this way. It's temporary. It says
nothing about me/him to have these feelings. Thoughts and feelings are
impersonal, they move through us, they are not us.
Dunno if any of that helps, but it's what gets me through the
reactivity sometimes!
Warmly,
Sue
much earlier in my life how much my experience is created by my
internal dialogue...
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try to remember that it's not
permanent. It's only been a day (or two, or a week, or a few short
years, depending on what I'm feeling overwhelmed by.) More than
anything, it helps me to realize that the situation will change and my
feelings about it will change, and sooner rather than later.
That I, at 43, can feel so jealous and unappreciated, so of course can
my child. And it's okay, it's natural, it's just a chance to practice
working with negative emotions.
That I can sit with my child, and focus on breathing and being okay
with their feelings (which helps me learn to be okay with mine) while
they have their experience, and maybe that helps them understand how to
contain it, or let it pass through them, or however you might
conceptualize the flow of emotions.
It's natural. It's okay to feel this way. It's temporary. It says
nothing about me/him to have these feelings. Thoughts and feelings are
impersonal, they move through us, they are not us.
Dunno if any of that helps, but it's what gets me through the
reactivity sometimes!
Warmly,
Sue
> I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
> will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
>
swissarmy_wife
I remembered that "this too shall pass". I remembered that he needed
as much attention from me as anyone else. My husband took him alone
to pick out his new phone. I took him alone 2 hours away to get him
his new drum. On the way I imagined myself stroking his hair (he
hates to be touched LOL)grateful for such a fabulous child. I
remembered that he's a super cool kid and I really enjoy his company.
Then, I listened to him drum all the way home while I smiled.
Mysteriously... his injury has almost disappeared.
Thanks for the reminders.
-Heather
as much attention from me as anyone else. My husband took him alone
to pick out his new phone. I took him alone 2 hours away to get him
his new drum. On the way I imagined myself stroking his hair (he
hates to be touched LOL)grateful for such a fabulous child. I
remembered that he's a super cool kid and I really enjoy his company.
Then, I listened to him drum all the way home while I smiled.
Mysteriously... his injury has almost disappeared.
Thanks for the reminders.
-Heather
>
> > I need some internal dialogue. I need some things to tell myself that
> > will help me stay patient with him. Any ideas?
> >
>