krissy8444

Hi,
We have been unschoolers since I pulled my two boys out of school over 3 years ago.
My husband agreed to my decision and belief about unschooling primarily because school
was so awful for our kids and not a good fit; but I think he is wanting something different for
them now.
My in-laws are mostly teachers and have become more and more hostile toward me over this
decision. It has come to the point where they don't really seem interested in my kids except
to quiz them on whether or not my method is "working"! One brother of my hubby was
incredulous that my son told him he was learning while playing a video game.
I'm not as worried about the aunts and uncles as I am about grandma and grandpa. And I am
saddened that this affects their relationship in such a negative way with my children. It also
seems to give them amunition when the kids act up or do something "wrong".
I am new to this group and hope this post is appropriate; I apologize if it is not.
I was just hoping to hear stories about this, advice, suggestions, etc.
Thanks,
Christine

Jenny C

> We have been unschoolers since I pulled my two boys out of school over
3 years ago.
> My husband agreed to my decision and belief about unschooling
primarily because school
> was so awful for our kids and not a good fit; but I think he is
wanting something different for
> them now.
> My in-laws are mostly teachers and have become more and more hostile
toward me over this
> decision.

How old are your kids? What do they want to do? Is your husband still
on board with unschooling? Is he feeling influence from his family, or
is his discomfort coming from not really understanding unschooling?

Is there a way to limit interaction with inlaws? How important is it
for your kids to have a relationship with their grandparents? Does your
husband know what he wants for your kids?

I'm thinking that you need to talk about educational goals with your
husband to see if you are on the same page. Some dads have really
strong feelings about it and some are more complacent about it. Mine
was more complacent about it and gradually came to accept unschooling,
and now fully advocates it. It took a while, but we also didn't have
extended family making things hard. We are lucky in that both of our
extended family members butt out, wether they agree or not with what we
do, they love us and accept our decisions and find good things about
what we are doing and try to ignore the things they don't like.

I feel sad for others who have interfering in-laws that place judgement
on them and use it to manipulate the relationship with the kids. It's
icky. If it were me in that situation, I would find a way to get that
icky out of my happy life. It's harder if it's a partner and parent.

There has been a lot written about helping spouses come to unschooling,
but it really depends on how open the spouse is.