Being present / When friends are over
Crystal Miller
<<I realized he is not ready to be in that kind of situation >>
This is HUGE! Sorscha is 10 1/2 and we negotiate situations on a daily
basis. There are simply things and situations that Sorscha is not prepared
or capable of being in at this time. It's that simple. I make sure that I
am almost always present. If I cannot be present, I make sure that someone
I trust is. By present I don't just mean that my adult body is there - I
mean that I am the mama eagle who is constantly observing my kiddo. I can
be 50-yards away and know by my kiddos face if something is up. This allows
me to 'catch' things as they arise (before any blowout can occur -yes, they
still DO occur sometimes) and I can then help her to consider her options,
make choices, etc. I don't leave Sorscha anywhere - even with other
unschooling families - where I do not feel that the parent is capable of
being observant enough for my kiddo. She needs loving, kind, compassionate,
patient, adults who can speak to her calmly and frankly. I also don't leave
Sorscha anywhere where she cannot contact me for assistance. We also make
choices not to attend certain activities, leave early, or come late. We
make these decisions together.
Over the past couple of years, this has all gotten easier and I find that we
are approaching a time when Sorscha will be capable of socializing on her
own. I'm happy for her. I'm happy and grateful for all the years that I
have spent helping her to get to this point. Years ago I was resentful that
Sorscha was not like 'those other kids'. I was always the Mom who some
other parent would come to and complain about my kid to. My feelings were
often hurt and I'd want to scream, "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M DOING EVERYTHING
I CAN!!! I'm not oblivious!" I got to a point where I chose not to let it
fester in me and I put all that energy into helping Sorscha on her journey.
Now I receive compliments - it's a weird place to be when someone says,
"Wow, Sorscha has come along way!" My return response is, "It's all
Sorscha, not me. Just like she learned to read with my assistance, she's
learning how to negotiate her world with my assistance."
~Crystal~
http://livingtheliquidlife.blogspot.com/
This is HUGE! Sorscha is 10 1/2 and we negotiate situations on a daily
basis. There are simply things and situations that Sorscha is not prepared
or capable of being in at this time. It's that simple. I make sure that I
am almost always present. If I cannot be present, I make sure that someone
I trust is. By present I don't just mean that my adult body is there - I
mean that I am the mama eagle who is constantly observing my kiddo. I can
be 50-yards away and know by my kiddos face if something is up. This allows
me to 'catch' things as they arise (before any blowout can occur -yes, they
still DO occur sometimes) and I can then help her to consider her options,
make choices, etc. I don't leave Sorscha anywhere - even with other
unschooling families - where I do not feel that the parent is capable of
being observant enough for my kiddo. She needs loving, kind, compassionate,
patient, adults who can speak to her calmly and frankly. I also don't leave
Sorscha anywhere where she cannot contact me for assistance. We also make
choices not to attend certain activities, leave early, or come late. We
make these decisions together.
Over the past couple of years, this has all gotten easier and I find that we
are approaching a time when Sorscha will be capable of socializing on her
own. I'm happy for her. I'm happy and grateful for all the years that I
have spent helping her to get to this point. Years ago I was resentful that
Sorscha was not like 'those other kids'. I was always the Mom who some
other parent would come to and complain about my kid to. My feelings were
often hurt and I'd want to scream, "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M DOING EVERYTHING
I CAN!!! I'm not oblivious!" I got to a point where I chose not to let it
fester in me and I put all that energy into helping Sorscha on her journey.
Now I receive compliments - it's a weird place to be when someone says,
"Wow, Sorscha has come along way!" My return response is, "It's all
Sorscha, not me. Just like she learned to read with my assistance, she's
learning how to negotiate her world with my assistance."
~Crystal~
http://livingtheliquidlife.blogspot.com/
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I make sure that I
am almost always present. If I cannot be present, I make sure that someone
I trust is. By present I don't just mean that my adult body is there - I
mean that I am the mama eagle who is constantly observing my kiddo. I can
be 50-yards away and know by my kiddos face if something is up. This allows
me to 'catch' things as they arise (before any blowout can occur -yes, they
still DO occur sometimes) and I can then help her to consider her options,
make choices, etc. I don't leave Sorscha anywhere - even with other
unschooling families - where I do not feel that the parent is capable of
being observant enough for my kiddo.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Absolutely Crystal. ! That is it.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
am almost always present. If I cannot be present, I make sure that someone
I trust is. By present I don't just mean that my adult body is there - I
mean that I am the mama eagle who is constantly observing my kiddo. I can
be 50-yards away and know by my kiddos face if something is up. This allows
me to 'catch' things as they arise (before any blowout can occur -yes, they
still DO occur sometimes) and I can then help her to consider her options,
make choices, etc. I don't leave Sorscha anywhere - even with other
unschooling families - where I do not feel that the parent is capable of
being observant enough for my kiddo.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Absolutely Crystal. ! That is it.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]