k

Arghhhh!! Yeah.

And it wasn't even *my* mom or *my* skirt.

I have an ability to forget a lot and block things out. Otherwise I'd not
be over anything. I might say (to myself not others) that's just the way
someone is (whoever does this kind of crap). I might be able to think of
their as an affliction. Because throwing away other people's things or not
respecting other's privacy really is a kind of affliction. And if they do
it to some and not others, then it's a problem in all the relationships that
they behave that way in. Boundaries being marched right over.

With my folks, it was said that a child could earn respect but in reality
that so seldom happened that it might just as well have not been a
possibility at all, and I remember all too well that as a child I didn't
think of earning respect as a real possibility. Instead, private letters
weren't private and neither was one's room. Everything under a parent's
roof was just theirs to do with as they pleased and a child's stuff was not
their own.

Carrot/stick approach to child behavior modification on top of that is mean
+ manipulative. Yuck.

~Katherine



On 7/19/08, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-I didn't say but I do think that throwing kids' things away messes
> with them
> and screws up a lot in parent/child relationships.-=-
>
> Probably part of why I don't throw anything away is that I could name
> the things that disappeared on my mom's watch, the last of which was
> a lined orange pleated wool skirt. It needed to be dry cleaned. Dry
> cleaning cost beer money. It just disappeared.
>
> But I'm over it.
>
> (NOT)
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

swissarmy_wife

I used to have a small white with pastel stripes blankie that I
carried with me everywhere. I loved my blankie. It had satin edging
which I always called "Mmmm's", because when you rubbed them on your
cheek you would say, "Mmmmmmm."

When my grandmother decided I was too old for the blankie she would
cut a stripe off every day I visited. Then I was left with only one
strip of "Mmmm's". Finally, I was separated from those too.

To this day, I have an unnatural attachment to blankets with satin
edging. Every once in awhile I will roll up the Mmmm's and rub them
on my cheek. LOL

I'm so not over it either.

-Heather



> > But I'm over it.
> >
> > (NOT)
> >
> > Sandra
> >

k

>
> To this day, I have an unnatural attachment to blankets with satin edging.
>

Is an attachment to things we like unnatural? People do like things. I
think this kind of thought can lead people to disregard someone's attachment
to things. As though ridding a child of a precious item will automatically
lead to forgetting the thing and letting it go.

Many times letting go is another person's idea.

We live in a world full of things. Do we usually have conversations that go
like this?: "What do you like to collect or do you have a hobby or favorite
pasttime? What do you do in your spare time?" "Nothing. I don't like
anything." Don't we usually hear people come up with something or are at
least in the process of growing toward new interests? People like their
TVs, to go by what I've heard. I like my computer, my books, making stuff,
making food ... top faves. I had a white stuff toy monkey which a dorm
mate envied and stole from me. There was something about the eyes. When I
saw it on her shelf, I just let her keep it. That was the decision I went
with.

If it's understood that letting go is a choice and that, for letting go to
happen successfully, the person letting go must value the action, then force
isn't a consideration.

I'm still quite attached to that little monkey in the lil Tarzan outfit. I
don't think it's unnatural to be attached to things.

~Katherine


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nicole Willoughby

Instead, private letters
weren't private and neither was one's room. Everything under a parent's
roof was just theirs to do with as they pleased and a child's stuff was not
their own.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sigh yes I remember this all too well. It was for my "protection" and to help my bad attitude.

When dh and I were young and getting really serious we talked for hours. I specificly remembered one question I asked him.....Would you read our kids diary without permission? If he had said yes Im not sure Id have married him.

Courtney is only 9 so who knows maybe shell get older and not share any of her diary. Right now she shows me pages all the time.

Nicole



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

MLewis

> When my grandmother decided I was too old for the blankie she would
> cut a stripe off every day I visited. Then I was left with only one
> strip of "Mmmm's". Finally, I was separated from those too.

That's evil. I just read this to my son Connor and the look on his
face says it all.
Mary

MLewis

My sister had a cat once that sucked on her armpit through her
nightgown. It kneaded with it's paws. It's whole life it did that.

Because it was weaned too early.

Just a thought.

Mary

In [email protected], k <katherand@...> wrote:
>
> >
> > To this day, I have an unnatural attachment to blankets with
satin edging.
> >
>
> Is an attachment to things we like unnatural? People do like
things. I
> think this kind of thought can lead people to disregard someone's
attachment
> to things. As though ridding a child of a precious item will
automatically
> lead to forgetting the thing and letting it go.
>
> Many times letting go is another person's idea.
>
> We live in a world full of things. Do we usually have
conversations that go
> like this?: "What do you like to collect or do you have a hobby or
favorite
> pasttime? What do you do in your spare time?" "Nothing. I don't
like
> anything." Don't we usually hear people come up with something or
are at
> least in the process of growing toward new interests? People like
their
> TVs, to go by what I've heard. I like my computer, my books,
making stuff,
> making food ... top faves. I had a white stuff toy monkey which a
dorm
> mate envied and stole from me. There was something about the
eyes. When I
> saw it on her shelf, I just let her keep it. That was the decision
I went
> with.
>
> If it's understood that letting go is a choice and that, for
letting go to
> happen successfully, the person letting go must value the action,
then force
> isn't a consideration.
>
> I'm still quite attached to that little monkey in the lil Tarzan
outfit. I
> don't think it's unnatural to be attached to things.
>
> ~Katherine
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Hilde Kaiser

--- In [email protected], "MLewis" <m9f9l@...> wrote:
>
> > When my grandmother decided I was too old for the blankie she would
> > cut a stripe off every day I visited. Then I was left with only
one
> > strip of "Mmmm's". Finally, I was separated from those too.
>
> That's evil. I just read this to my son Connor and the look on his
> face says it all.
> Mary
>

We have a Scholastic DVD of Kevin Henkes stories. One of them is about
a little mouse, Owen, who is very attached to his blanket. His
parents' nosy neighbor keeps giving them parenting advice -- to force
Owen to give up his blanket. After unsuccessfully trying a number of
different tactics, Owen's mother eventually comes up with the idea of
cutting a little corner of the blanket off for Owen to secretly carry
in his pocket, thus assuaging the neighbor and presumably "fixing" the
problem of the blanket.

I was so horrified!!!

k

What is this with shredding kid's blankies and giving them back? Very odd.
I don't want to know what happened to the plastic lamb I had. Sneaky
parents.

No wonder some kids end up ruining other's belongings. It's being modeled
for pete's sake.

~Katherine



On 7/21/08, Hilde Kaiser <hmkaiser@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected] <AlwaysLearning%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "MLewis" <m9f9l@...> wrote:
> >
> > > When my grandmother decided I was too old for the blankie she would
> > > cut a stripe off every day I visited. Then I was left with only
> one
> > > strip of "Mmmm's". Finally, I was separated from those too.
> >
> > That's evil. I just read this to my son Connor and the look on his
> > face says it all.
> > Mary
> >
>
> We have a Scholastic DVD of Kevin Henkes stories. One of them is about
> a little mouse, Owen, who is very attached to his blanket. His
> parents' nosy neighbor keeps giving them parenting advice -- to force
> Owen to give up his blanket. After unsuccessfully trying a number of
> different tactics, Owen's mother eventually comes up with the idea of
> cutting a little corner of the blanket off for Owen to secretly carry
> in his pocket, thus assuaging the neighbor and presumably "fixing" the
> problem of the blanket.
>
> I was so horrified!!!
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kstjonn

Re: blankies

I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)

Kara, who doesn't give her mom props often enough

Sandra Dodd

-=-I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)-=-



Your mom's an angel!!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

Roya (now 23) had "Lilly" - a soft-bodied doll with a (gasp) plastic
head. She loved Lilly to pieces. Literally. As Lilly would fall apart,
we'd fix her back up best we could. Finally, one day, her head totally
fell off. My bil was here and he duct-taped her head back on with
silver duct tape around her neck.

Lilly is sitting on Roya's bed - well, what was her bed, but she's
moved out into her own little house now. Left Lilly behind. I have
Lilly's photo for the wallpaper on the front of my cell phone. She was
such an important part of our lives for so long - I can't imagine
tossing her out.

-pam

On Jul 21, 2008, at 10:05 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> -=-I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
> just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
> always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)-=-

Jenny C

>After unsuccessfully trying a number of
> different tactics, Owen's mother eventually comes up with the idea of
> cutting a little corner of the blanket off for Owen to secretly carry
> in his pocket, thus assuaging the neighbor and presumably "fixing" the
> problem of the blanket.
>
> I was so horrified!!!
>


I wasn't a blanky person, but my sister was. She would've been
horrified by that sort of dessicration! Her blanky was some sort of
hand knitted thing and it would've changed it forever in a bad way. She
still has that blanky, but none of her kids would use it because it's
too gross. I had a blanky when I was a kid, I just wasn't attatched to
it. My sister gave that one to her kids and they LOVE it. I love it
too! It's fun to see her babies wrapped up in my blanky.

My mother in law remade a quilt that had belonged to her youngest son.
It was his blanky and he had almost worn it out, but it was a nice baby
quilt and really well made, so she fixed it and patched it and put new
things on it without drastically changing it. Now he can see his kids
using it. My husband wasn't so lucky with stuff like that because he
was the oldest and all his stuff either got handed down or thrown out.
He had kept a small bag of stuffed animals, but mice got to them, and
this was when I first met him before we had kids, and they had to be
tossed. He's still sad about it!

Jenny C

> Lilly is sitting on Roya's bed - well, what was her bed, but she's
> moved out into her own little house now. Left Lilly behind. I have
> Lilly's photo for the wallpaper on the front of my cell phone. She was
> such an important part of our lives for so long - I can't imagine
> tossing her out.


My sister loved this thing...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexandra-chan/329154791/in/pool-vintagejap\
an
<http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexandra-chan/329154791/in/pool-vintageja\
pan>

Only hers had white hair and a turquoise dress. She called her
"sweetie" and every year at Christmas time she wanted to put her on top
of the tree.

When my parents moved to NM, I found it in the get rid of stuff and
tucked it away. Many years later I gave it to her oldest daughter for a
Christmas present along with the story.

This was at a time when my sister pretty much got rid of everything from
her past. I knew if I'd given it to her she would've tossed it, so I
gave it to her daughter so that it wouldn't belong to her!

It really is a most hideous doll. She's all ratty, but I fixed her up a
bit, so that we can still tease my sister about it. Her kids LOVE to
put it in the tree at the grandparents house next door! One of her kids
simply can't imagine why her mother liked that thing and two of her kids
adore it!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Nishan

--- In [email protected], "kstjonn" <kara@...> wrote:
>
> Re: blankies
>
> I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
> just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but
I
> always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)
>
> Kara, who doesn't give her mom props often enough
>

My mom did the same thing with my Teddy. When the body got so raggedy
she couldn't fix it she had someone make a "suit " for him. The whole
body was inside a new suit with the head still out. When I first saw
it I made her swear she hadn't cut his head off! She promised she
had made sure they knew to cover him. It was so sweet of my mom.
Kelly

k

Cool! A saved blankie. :)

~Katherine



On 7/21/08, kstjonn <kara@...> wrote:
>
> Re: blankies
>
> I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
> just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
> always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)
>
> Kara, who doesn't give her mom props often enough
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

I still have mine. It was my nap time blanket at preschool (yup,
preschool in 1960). It's threadbare in places, and I take it camping
sometimes, still. My mum kept it for me, though I didn't know it for
years. I think she was sentimental about it, too, and hung onto it
until I moved out.

Robin B.
who misses her mum

On Jul 21, 2008, at 9:57 AM, kstjonn wrote:

> Re: blankies
>
> I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
> just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
> always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)
>
> Kara, who doesn't give her mom props often enough
>

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

My MIL kept dh's blankie and gave it to my son when he was born. I am sure she took it away from him but it is nice she kept it.
Both Dh and my son MD are very attached to their possessions

 
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

i love that book and gave it to my adult friend Owen.
I thought the solution was a wonderful idea and owen seemed happy.
k


-------------- Original message from "Hilde Kaiser" <hmkaiser@...>: --------------




--- In [email protected], "MLewis" <m9f9l@...> wrote:
>
> > When my grandmother decided I was too old for the blankie she would
> > cut a stripe off every day I visited. Then I was left with only
one
> > strip of "Mmmm's". Finally, I was separated from those too.
>
> That's evil. I just read this to my son Connor and the look on his
> face says it all.
> Mary
>

We have a Scholastic DVD of Kevin Henkes stories. One of them is about
a little mouse, Owen, who is very attached to his blanket. His
parents' nosy neighbor keeps giving them parenting advice -- to force
Owen to give up his blanket. After unsuccessfully trying a number of
different tactics, Owen's mother eventually comes up with the idea of
cutting a little corner of the blanket off for Owen to secretly carry
in his pocket, thus assuaging the neighbor and presumably "fixing" the
problem of the blanket.

I was so horrified!!!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin

I had a soft bodied doll and a stuffed raccoon - Miss Peep and Coon Coon.
I slept with those things until I was in my 20's! I had to leave them
behind in a divorce (long story). I still miss them and it's been 20
years! LOL

My oldest daughter (raising grands now) still has several hundred stuffed
animals tucked away in our attic upstairs!

As always, Mi Vida Loca
Robin




-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Monday, July 21, 2008 2:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Tossing a Child's Belongings was Re: Natural
Child Article


Roya (now 23) had "Lilly" - a soft-bodied doll with a (gasp) plastic
head. She loved Lilly to pieces. Literally. As Lilly would fall apart,
we'd fix her back up best we could. Finally, one day, her head totally
fell off. My bil was here and he duct-taped her head back on with
silver duct tape around her neck.

Lilly is sitting on Roya's bed - well, what was her bed, but she's
moved out into her own little house now. Left Lilly behind. I have
Lilly's photo for the wallpaper on the front of my cell phone. She was
such an important part of our lives for so long - I can't imagine
tossing her out.

-pam

On Jul 21, 2008, at 10:05 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> -=-I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
> just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
> always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)-=-


------------------------------------

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Meghan Anderson-Coates

****************************
Re: blankies

I had my baby blankie up until my teens. When it got ragged, my mom
just covered it with a different fabric. It "looked" different but I
always knew my blankie was inside, safe :)

Kara, who doesn't give her mom props often enough

*******************************
 
This reminds me of Tamzin's 'corner'. When she was born, my former employer gave her a beautifully soft blanket from India. It very quickly became her favorite thing (understandably so!). It wasn't long before she wanted to take it everywhere with her. The problem was is that it was big! I cut it into 4 pieces and finished the cut sides and presto, she had 4 blankets! She was delighted (she was about 9 months old at this point)! She could now, easily, take any one of the blankets with us anywhere we went. Her favorite part of the blankets were the corners, so gradually she would 'love on it' enough that the edge strip would come off and she would carry that around (that's how 'corner' got it's name). We had a couple of traumatic times when one got left on the bus and another time when she 'lost' one in her bedroom (we never did find it, even when we moved). Luckily we had backups. I still have a 'corner' in my jewelery box and she has one in her
'special stuff' box. I also made her a doll out of the body of one of the blankets that she keeps on her bed. I can't imagine taking that away from her!
I'm also careful about what she says she's ready to get rid of. If it's something that's one of a kind or something that's been really special to her, I stash it in the garage, just in case. My mom asked me if we could sell my doll house (it was handmade by her) when I was 13. I said sure, I don't play with it anymore. I still regret that decision!


Meghan
 

Too much rigidity on the part of teachers should be followed by a brisk spirit of insubordination on the part of the taught.
~ Agnes Repplier




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]