kids selling expensive toys
Sylvia Toyama
Today my kids, ages 12 & 7, came to me and said they'd like to sell
their Nintendo DS units and games that go with, to raise money to buy
other toys. I've not given my okay yet -- dh is really reluctant to
let them sell toys he feels they'll likely miss very soon.
Some history on these games. We gave them each a new DS January 07,
and they were thrilled. Played them virtually all the time. Andy
(12yo) wore his out. In January 08, our home was broken into, all
the electronics were stolen, including the DS and games, one of our
computers (we interrupted them, and the left one puter behind as they
fled), our DVD player, digital camera, etc. By the time we'd dug up
the info for the insurance company (which always pays so little
anyway), it was mid April before we replaced their DSs. Within days,
Dan -- who had considered a guitar instead, but chose the DS, had
regrets almost immediately. He often misplaces his DS for days, and
tho he has several games he doesn't play it all that often. Andy
really enjoyed his DS, tho recently he plays with it less. He often
only owns one game, preferring to spend his allowance on other
things.
I say all this to explain that I can see they aren't all that
attached to their DS, but I do find having those makes a convenient
distraction on road trips. We're taking a family trip over Labor Day
to San Francisco, so about 18 hrs in the car each way. Time to fill
without DS games - which has dh concerned it will be a l-o-o-n-g road
trip, with seriously bored, restless children.
Two weeks ago, we got a PS2 -- the boys choice for their part of the
stimulus check -- and 4 games. The boys love it, and have spent
hours each day playing their games on it. They've decided that's
enough for them, and they'd rather trade their DS for other toy
purchases. Dan still would like an electric guitar.
My concerns are ..... the novelty of the PS-2 will wane, and they'll
wish the still had DS games; they won't get much money for their DS
stuff, will spend it away on smaller toys of fleeting value to them,
and when they realize they'd like DS again, they'll need to save up
their allowances to buy new, because our budget simply won't cover
new DS for each boy.
They've often traded games and smaller things, sold toys to friends,
etc to raise smaller bits of money and seldom regret it, but this
seems like a big deal to me.
Our policy has always been that once we give them an item, it's
theirs to do with as they wish. Any past 'sell-offs' have always
been smaller toys, not big things, which made it easier to hold to.
I really want to trust their judgment and choice in this, but I don't
want them to seriously regret their choice?
Anyone have experience with this? Suggestions for how to respond?
We're off to Gamestop to see what they could get for their DS items --
just recon, no one is going to sell anything today. Dh really wants
them to wait a week or two to be sure they really want this
before 'allowing' them to sell their own stuff. I find myself
defending their right to make their own choices, but want to protect
them from the risks -- not to mention I don't want to hear dh later
point out that we shouldn't have let them do this if they have
regrets.
Sylvia
their Nintendo DS units and games that go with, to raise money to buy
other toys. I've not given my okay yet -- dh is really reluctant to
let them sell toys he feels they'll likely miss very soon.
Some history on these games. We gave them each a new DS January 07,
and they were thrilled. Played them virtually all the time. Andy
(12yo) wore his out. In January 08, our home was broken into, all
the electronics were stolen, including the DS and games, one of our
computers (we interrupted them, and the left one puter behind as they
fled), our DVD player, digital camera, etc. By the time we'd dug up
the info for the insurance company (which always pays so little
anyway), it was mid April before we replaced their DSs. Within days,
Dan -- who had considered a guitar instead, but chose the DS, had
regrets almost immediately. He often misplaces his DS for days, and
tho he has several games he doesn't play it all that often. Andy
really enjoyed his DS, tho recently he plays with it less. He often
only owns one game, preferring to spend his allowance on other
things.
I say all this to explain that I can see they aren't all that
attached to their DS, but I do find having those makes a convenient
distraction on road trips. We're taking a family trip over Labor Day
to San Francisco, so about 18 hrs in the car each way. Time to fill
without DS games - which has dh concerned it will be a l-o-o-n-g road
trip, with seriously bored, restless children.
Two weeks ago, we got a PS2 -- the boys choice for their part of the
stimulus check -- and 4 games. The boys love it, and have spent
hours each day playing their games on it. They've decided that's
enough for them, and they'd rather trade their DS for other toy
purchases. Dan still would like an electric guitar.
My concerns are ..... the novelty of the PS-2 will wane, and they'll
wish the still had DS games; they won't get much money for their DS
stuff, will spend it away on smaller toys of fleeting value to them,
and when they realize they'd like DS again, they'll need to save up
their allowances to buy new, because our budget simply won't cover
new DS for each boy.
They've often traded games and smaller things, sold toys to friends,
etc to raise smaller bits of money and seldom regret it, but this
seems like a big deal to me.
Our policy has always been that once we give them an item, it's
theirs to do with as they wish. Any past 'sell-offs' have always
been smaller toys, not big things, which made it easier to hold to.
I really want to trust their judgment and choice in this, but I don't
want them to seriously regret their choice?
Anyone have experience with this? Suggestions for how to respond?
We're off to Gamestop to see what they could get for their DS items --
just recon, no one is going to sell anything today. Dh really wants
them to wait a week or two to be sure they really want this
before 'allowing' them to sell their own stuff. I find myself
defending their right to make their own choices, but want to protect
them from the risks -- not to mention I don't want to hear dh later
point out that we shouldn't have let them do this if they have
regrets.
Sylvia
Pamela Sorooshian
Well - here's one idea! I've DONE this, by the way (not with DSs, but
with other things).
Figure out how much they can get for them, give them that money (since
you said it probably won't be that much - I'm sure not nearly what the
cost new). Tell them that "YOU" really want to have those DSs around
for road trips, so you're willing to give them the money that they'd
get if they sold them elsewhere. This seems fair, since it is YOUR
decision, not theirs. I think it would be really nice of you to do it.
Do you have a stash of stuff that is for road trips? We have some
games and coloring books and other stuff that is stashed away (with
other travel stuff like earplugs, splitters for ipods, little zip bags
that I use to hold different things when we travel, travel sized
soaps, shampoos, little pillows/blankets, luggage tags, flashlights,
and other stuff like that. Maybe you could say that you want to buy
them for your travel stash and you could really put them in there. If
they do decide they want them, you can be generous and say, "Sure, go
get it out of the travel stash." If that does happen, they'll realize
it and be grateful that you bought them and they'll learn to be a
little less quick to want to get rid of stuff. If it never happens,
you'll have them for trips and they'll be more special since they
won't be playing with them in between. Win-Win! If you don't already
have a travel stash, this could be a good time to put that kind of
stuff together.
-pam
with other things).
Figure out how much they can get for them, give them that money (since
you said it probably won't be that much - I'm sure not nearly what the
cost new). Tell them that "YOU" really want to have those DSs around
for road trips, so you're willing to give them the money that they'd
get if they sold them elsewhere. This seems fair, since it is YOUR
decision, not theirs. I think it would be really nice of you to do it.
Do you have a stash of stuff that is for road trips? We have some
games and coloring books and other stuff that is stashed away (with
other travel stuff like earplugs, splitters for ipods, little zip bags
that I use to hold different things when we travel, travel sized
soaps, shampoos, little pillows/blankets, luggage tags, flashlights,
and other stuff like that. Maybe you could say that you want to buy
them for your travel stash and you could really put them in there. If
they do decide they want them, you can be generous and say, "Sure, go
get it out of the travel stash." If that does happen, they'll realize
it and be grateful that you bought them and they'll learn to be a
little less quick to want to get rid of stuff. If it never happens,
you'll have them for trips and they'll be more special since they
won't be playing with them in between. Win-Win! If you don't already
have a travel stash, this could be a good time to put that kind of
stuff together.
-pam
On Jul 10, 2008, at 2:20 PM, Sylvia Toyama wrote:
> We're off to Gamestop to see what they could get for their DS items --
> just recon, no one is going to sell anything today. Dh really wants
> them to wait a week or two to be sure they really want this
> before 'allowing' them to sell their own stuff. I find myself
> defending their right to make their own choices, but want to protect
> them from the risks -- not to mention I don't want to hear dh later
> point out that we shouldn't have let them do this if they have
> regrets.
Sylvia Toyama
Well, the guy at Gamestop said he could pay Dan a total of about $90
for his DS and associated games. Andy could only get about $52 (his
only game is worth only $2 today, even tho he paid $20 for it two
weeks ago - and hates it, to boot.)
There is no way I can 'buy' their games from them for those prices.
Besides, dh's head would explode if I did that.
yeah, it feels unfair to say 'we don't want you to sell your games'
but I'm pretty sure Andy will regret selling his game almost
instantly if he does. While we were in gamestop, another customer
offered that he'd pay us more for a used DS than gamestop was
offering. Still a deal for him, since GS gets 110 for a used DS
(they're only $130 new), and offered us only $50. It certainly would
have been a win-win for us and the buyer. BUT, I'd told dh today
would only be recon, no selling allowed. I'd have to deal with his
unhappiness.
That's part of it, too. Dh works hard for the money we spend. I
don't work at all, and we do give the boys as generous an allowance
as we can afford. Two months ago, we spent $325 on new DS and two
games for each boy. Now, Andy would be happy to sell his for $50 to
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls).
Once he bought those, they'd have no resale value and, based on past
experience, in something less than 2 weeks, he'll have moved on to
the next must have collectible toy. And he will very likely regret
selling his DS. For dh to see 'his' money so quickly parlayed
into 'junk' toys at less than half the value of what he spend it
frustrating.
My feelings are mixed, too. While I think it's responsible and
admirable to recognize you're done with something, resell it and buy
something you like better, there's a part of me that feels like re-
selling stuff to buy more stuff screams of desperation and poverty.
I know that's my own money issues talking. I'd love to be able to buy
them as many video games and toys as they want, but that's just not
possible. Seeing them go over their toys, see which they think they
can do without, just to raise more money to have toys everyone else
can afford, pushes all my 'lack' buttons.
Andy really wishes I'd let him sell his game to the customer at
Gamestop. I almost wish I had, too.
Sylvia
for his DS and associated games. Andy could only get about $52 (his
only game is worth only $2 today, even tho he paid $20 for it two
weeks ago - and hates it, to boot.)
There is no way I can 'buy' their games from them for those prices.
Besides, dh's head would explode if I did that.
yeah, it feels unfair to say 'we don't want you to sell your games'
but I'm pretty sure Andy will regret selling his game almost
instantly if he does. While we were in gamestop, another customer
offered that he'd pay us more for a used DS than gamestop was
offering. Still a deal for him, since GS gets 110 for a used DS
(they're only $130 new), and offered us only $50. It certainly would
have been a win-win for us and the buyer. BUT, I'd told dh today
would only be recon, no selling allowed. I'd have to deal with his
unhappiness.
That's part of it, too. Dh works hard for the money we spend. I
don't work at all, and we do give the boys as generous an allowance
as we can afford. Two months ago, we spent $325 on new DS and two
games for each boy. Now, Andy would be happy to sell his for $50 to
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls).
Once he bought those, they'd have no resale value and, based on past
experience, in something less than 2 weeks, he'll have moved on to
the next must have collectible toy. And he will very likely regret
selling his DS. For dh to see 'his' money so quickly parlayed
into 'junk' toys at less than half the value of what he spend it
frustrating.
My feelings are mixed, too. While I think it's responsible and
admirable to recognize you're done with something, resell it and buy
something you like better, there's a part of me that feels like re-
selling stuff to buy more stuff screams of desperation and poverty.
I know that's my own money issues talking. I'd love to be able to buy
them as many video games and toys as they want, but that's just not
possible. Seeing them go over their toys, see which they think they
can do without, just to raise more money to have toys everyone else
can afford, pushes all my 'lack' buttons.
Andy really wishes I'd let him sell his game to the customer at
Gamestop. I almost wish I had, too.
Sylvia
Kim H
<<Now, Andy would be happy to sell his for $50 to
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls). >>
What about buying him these instead of him having to sell his DS to pay for them?
Kim
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls). >>
What about buying him these instead of him having to sell his DS to pay for them?
Kim
----- Original Message -----
From: Sylvia Toyama
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2008 8:13 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: kids selling expensive toys
Well, the guy at Gamestop said he could pay Dan a total of about $90
for his DS and associated games. Andy could only get about $52 (his
only game is worth only $2 today, even tho he paid $20 for it two
weeks ago - and hates it, to boot.)
There is no way I can 'buy' their games from them for those prices.
Besides, dh's head would explode if I did that.
yeah, it feels unfair to say 'we don't want you to sell your games'
but I'm pretty sure Andy will regret selling his game almost
instantly if he does. While we were in gamestop, another customer
offered that he'd pay us more for a used DS than gamestop was
offering. Still a deal for him, since GS gets 110 for a used DS
(they're only $130 new), and offered us only $50. It certainly would
have been a win-win for us and the buyer. BUT, I'd told dh today
would only be recon, no selling allowed. I'd have to deal with his
unhappiness.
That's part of it, too. Dh works hard for the money we spend. I
don't work at all, and we do give the boys as generous an allowance
as we can afford. Two months ago, we spent $325 on new DS and two
games for each boy. Now, Andy would be happy to sell his for $50 to
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls).
Once he bought those, they'd have no resale value and, based on past
experience, in something less than 2 weeks, he'll have moved on to
the next must have collectible toy. And he will very likely regret
selling his DS. For dh to see 'his' money so quickly parlayed
into 'junk' toys at less than half the value of what he spend it
frustrating.
My feelings are mixed, too. While I think it's responsible and
admirable to recognize you're done with something, resell it and buy
something you like better, there's a part of me that feels like re-
selling stuff to buy more stuff screams of desperation and poverty.
I know that's my own money issues talking. I'd love to be able to buy
them as many video games and toys as they want, but that's just not
possible. Seeing them go over their toys, see which they think they
can do without, just to raise more money to have toys everyone else
can afford, pushes all my 'lack' buttons.
Andy really wishes I'd let him sell his game to the customer at
Gamestop. I almost wish I had, too.
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jul 10, 2008, at 6:13 PM, Sylvia Toyama wrote:
that and get the full amount.
Instead of that -- since that's so final -- what if they sell one or
more of their games on Amazon? My daughter has done that and they've
sold quickly at good prices. Or maybe they have other things around.
Books they're not going to read anymore. (Though the games go quickest.)
(If you need help selling, I can walk you through it, but they
already make it incredibly easy. Just go to the page and click on the
"Sell Yours Here" button.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Still a deal for him, since GS gets 110 for a used DS$110 is about what they're going for on Amazon also so they could do
> (they're only $130 new), and offered us only $50.
that and get the full amount.
Instead of that -- since that's so final -- what if they sell one or
more of their games on Amazon? My daughter has done that and they've
sold quickly at good prices. Or maybe they have other things around.
Books they're not going to read anymore. (Though the games go quickest.)
(If you need help selling, I can walk you through it, but they
already make it incredibly easy. Just go to the page and click on the
"Sell Yours Here" button.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
<<Now, Andy would be happy to sell his for $50 to
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls). >>
What about buying him these instead of him having to sell his DS to pay for them?
*****
If I could afford to buy him $50 worth of new toys, I wouldn't need to ask this question. We can't afford every toy they want.
At the end of it all, Dan did sell his DS and games for the $93.60 Gamestop offered him. Almost didn't happen because the game was lacking its serial number sticker (fell off). He has his money and is happily shopping on ebay for a guitar.
Andy ultimately chose to keep his DS, traded in the game he doesn't enjoy, and some credit on the Gamestop members card, plus a small subsidy from me and ended up with a game he likes, but is not entirely happy with. Not an uncommon problem with Andy and video games, so no surprise there.
This was only reached after a long phone conversation with dh about the fairness issue of not allowing them to re-sell gifts we gave them, not wanting them to resent things they'd once loved and now were forced to keep to appease us. Really, tho, his biggest concern is that he's watched Andy suffer buyer's remorse too many times to be entirely comfortable with the idea of Andy selling one formerly beloved toy for what's likely a passing fancy.
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
buy a bunch of $5 toys he's currently collecting (Bakugan balls). >>
What about buying him these instead of him having to sell his DS to pay for them?
*****
If I could afford to buy him $50 worth of new toys, I wouldn't need to ask this question. We can't afford every toy they want.
At the end of it all, Dan did sell his DS and games for the $93.60 Gamestop offered him. Almost didn't happen because the game was lacking its serial number sticker (fell off). He has his money and is happily shopping on ebay for a guitar.
Andy ultimately chose to keep his DS, traded in the game he doesn't enjoy, and some credit on the Gamestop members card, plus a small subsidy from me and ended up with a game he likes, but is not entirely happy with. Not an uncommon problem with Andy and video games, so no surprise there.
This was only reached after a long phone conversation with dh about the fairness issue of not allowing them to re-sell gifts we gave them, not wanting them to resent things they'd once loved and now were forced to keep to appease us. Really, tho, his biggest concern is that he's watched Andy suffer buyer's remorse too many times to be entirely comfortable with the idea of Andy selling one formerly beloved toy for what's likely a passing fancy.
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-If I could afford to buy him $50 worth of new toys, I wouldn't
need to ask this question.-=-
Most of the questions asked on this list have lots of possible
solutions. Please don't insult those who are trying freely and
generously to help you.
-=- We can't afford every toy they want. -=-
No one suggested that you buy every toy they want.
Musical instruments, for kids in school, are easily considered
educational expense.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
need to ask this question.-=-
Most of the questions asked on this list have lots of possible
solutions. Please don't insult those who are trying freely and
generously to help you.
-=- We can't afford every toy they want. -=-
No one suggested that you buy every toy they want.
Musical instruments, for kids in school, are easily considered
educational expense.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
I didn't mean to offend by pointing out that we can't afford all the toys they ask for.
With or without more funds, I can see where the question of 'letting' kids sell toys is a bigger question than how much money we have.
We did buy Dan the desired electric guitar this morning, with an additional $40 from the regular budget, while Andy is still considering his options, feeling he's not ready just yet to part with his DS.
Yes, I realize musical instruments are considered an educational expense for kids in school. We bought our oldest a drum set when he was in school, tho he was 13, not 7. Dh felt 7 is a little young for the expense of an electric guitar kit ($130). His concern is that it won't be a good fit, and won't be well cared for. Tho I suppose if we find it's not a good fit, we can always sell it on ebay and use the money for something that is a better fit.
Really for me, it's the bigger issue of wanting to help them avoid disappointment when they impulsively trade one possession for another. I find that I feel too attached to the outcome and their decisions about more expensive items that we can't afford to replace, if/when a child changes his mind.
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
With or without more funds, I can see where the question of 'letting' kids sell toys is a bigger question than how much money we have.
We did buy Dan the desired electric guitar this morning, with an additional $40 from the regular budget, while Andy is still considering his options, feeling he's not ready just yet to part with his DS.
Yes, I realize musical instruments are considered an educational expense for kids in school. We bought our oldest a drum set when he was in school, tho he was 13, not 7. Dh felt 7 is a little young for the expense of an electric guitar kit ($130). His concern is that it won't be a good fit, and won't be well cared for. Tho I suppose if we find it's not a good fit, we can always sell it on ebay and use the money for something that is a better fit.
Really for me, it's the bigger issue of wanting to help them avoid disappointment when they impulsively trade one possession for another. I find that I feel too attached to the outcome and their decisions about more expensive items that we can't afford to replace, if/when a child changes his mind.
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I didn't mean to offend by pointing out that we can't afford all
the toys they ask for. -=-
It's more the "all the toys they ask for phrase." No one suggested
you should do that.
People used to say "I can't afford to get every video in the world,"
when Pam or I would say "Let them watch whatever videos they want;
watch with them), or people would say "I can't buy everything in the
grocery store" in response to "let them choose to eat what they want."
It diverts from the discussion rather than adding to it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the toys they ask for. -=-
It's more the "all the toys they ask for phrase." No one suggested
you should do that.
People used to say "I can't afford to get every video in the world,"
when Pam or I would say "Let them watch whatever videos they want;
watch with them), or people would say "I can't buy everything in the
grocery store" in response to "let them choose to eat what they want."
It diverts from the discussion rather than adding to it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
People used to say "I can't afford to get every video in the world,"
when Pam or I would say "Let them watch whatever videos they want;
watch with them), or people would say "I can't buy everything in the
grocery store" in response to "let them choose to eat what they want."
It diverts from the discussion rather than adding to it.
Sandra
*****
you're right -- it does. The question 'can you buy?' is the one I let
push my buttons. Sorry to have said it.
Sylvia
when Pam or I would say "Let them watch whatever videos they want;
watch with them), or people would say "I can't buy everything in the
grocery store" in response to "let them choose to eat what they want."
It diverts from the discussion rather than adding to it.
Sandra
*****
you're right -- it does. The question 'can you buy?' is the one I let
push my buttons. Sorry to have said it.
Sylvia