Food and Eating Disorders
daila2000
I'm new to this group, and I'm finding the discussion about food to
be very interesting. Long ago I read a book about ways to avoid
eating disorders among children, and the one I remember most was to
let them eat whatever they want, whenever they want. I also listened
to a diet/lifestyle tape by Anthony Robbins (a motivational speaker),
and he told an interesting story. He said he bought a package of
crackers or cookies, and his family gobbled them up. So then he
bought a case of the same item, and it sat and sat in the cupboard.
He realized that when there was just a small amount available,
everyone wanted some. But when there was enough that people saw it
wasn't going to be eaten by someone else, it lost its appeal.
I did a test. I went to the store with my children (they were
probably around 4, 7, and 9) and let them buy what they wanted. They
split a case of Oreos and each bought some of their favorite candy.
They had separate areas to keep all of their food, but I said not to
worry--I'd buy more if they ran out. And I let them eat it whenever
they wanted to. Yes, it was hard for me!! But they did exactly what
that book said they would--they spent maybe the first week eating
candy and ice-cream for breakfast, and then grew tired of it.
They're not even crazy about Oreos any more. But I think the main
thing is that they were seeing if *I* was really going to let them do
what I said. Even when we were buying the stuff, if they asked for
one package, I threw two in the cart, just to let them know I was
serious!
This discussion has been a good reminder for me to get back into this
way of thinking (I've slipped a bit with the "good food/bad food"),
and it's a reminder of how my own food issues are so different from
the way my children think. I could devour a large bag of chips in
one sitting (because it was a "bad" food)--and my children eat a
portion and put the rest away. It's not a forbidden food for them.
My youngest (we didn't know he'd done this) pigged out on greasy
chips one day, and actually threw up later--and he still remembers
that and won't overeat them again! I've realized over the past week
or so (since first reading this discussion), that my children
normally do ask for foods that make them feel good, even if they do
occasionally eat the sugary stuff in between. They even realized,
after the candy binge from the 4th of July parade, that they felt
sick and at 10pm asked for vegies and rice!
And I also agree with the idea to make foods easily available
(the "Monkey Plate" was great!)--if I ask if they want something,
they usually say no--but if I leave out a plate of washed grapes or
cut up fruit, they'll eat it.
Someone asked, "how can I trust my children, when I don't trust
myself?" I think the answer is by showing you trust them, they'll be
trustworthy. You can work on yourself separately, if you feel you
need to. Long ago I read a book by someone who overcame an eating
disorder, and she made a big bowl of cookie dough and ate that for
two weeks, and that helped her get over the binge cycle. It's
getting rid of the "forbidden foods" idea.
Sorry this is long, but it's really important to me because I did
have an eating disorder and don't want to do to my children what my
parents did to me. Even when I ate an apple, my dad would say, "no
wonder you're so fat--you're eating all the time." I was about 10
lbs overweight. Kids don't even understand what's going on with
food, except that when it's used in a controlling way, they're going
to binge when given the chance. I love it when I see my children
turn down offers of food (things I would have considered "treats" and
wouldn't have missed an opportunity to eat) or put a bag away before
it's finished--I see that food has a different place in their lives
than it did in mine.
be very interesting. Long ago I read a book about ways to avoid
eating disorders among children, and the one I remember most was to
let them eat whatever they want, whenever they want. I also listened
to a diet/lifestyle tape by Anthony Robbins (a motivational speaker),
and he told an interesting story. He said he bought a package of
crackers or cookies, and his family gobbled them up. So then he
bought a case of the same item, and it sat and sat in the cupboard.
He realized that when there was just a small amount available,
everyone wanted some. But when there was enough that people saw it
wasn't going to be eaten by someone else, it lost its appeal.
I did a test. I went to the store with my children (they were
probably around 4, 7, and 9) and let them buy what they wanted. They
split a case of Oreos and each bought some of their favorite candy.
They had separate areas to keep all of their food, but I said not to
worry--I'd buy more if they ran out. And I let them eat it whenever
they wanted to. Yes, it was hard for me!! But they did exactly what
that book said they would--they spent maybe the first week eating
candy and ice-cream for breakfast, and then grew tired of it.
They're not even crazy about Oreos any more. But I think the main
thing is that they were seeing if *I* was really going to let them do
what I said. Even when we were buying the stuff, if they asked for
one package, I threw two in the cart, just to let them know I was
serious!
This discussion has been a good reminder for me to get back into this
way of thinking (I've slipped a bit with the "good food/bad food"),
and it's a reminder of how my own food issues are so different from
the way my children think. I could devour a large bag of chips in
one sitting (because it was a "bad" food)--and my children eat a
portion and put the rest away. It's not a forbidden food for them.
My youngest (we didn't know he'd done this) pigged out on greasy
chips one day, and actually threw up later--and he still remembers
that and won't overeat them again! I've realized over the past week
or so (since first reading this discussion), that my children
normally do ask for foods that make them feel good, even if they do
occasionally eat the sugary stuff in between. They even realized,
after the candy binge from the 4th of July parade, that they felt
sick and at 10pm asked for vegies and rice!
And I also agree with the idea to make foods easily available
(the "Monkey Plate" was great!)--if I ask if they want something,
they usually say no--but if I leave out a plate of washed grapes or
cut up fruit, they'll eat it.
Someone asked, "how can I trust my children, when I don't trust
myself?" I think the answer is by showing you trust them, they'll be
trustworthy. You can work on yourself separately, if you feel you
need to. Long ago I read a book by someone who overcame an eating
disorder, and she made a big bowl of cookie dough and ate that for
two weeks, and that helped her get over the binge cycle. It's
getting rid of the "forbidden foods" idea.
Sorry this is long, but it's really important to me because I did
have an eating disorder and don't want to do to my children what my
parents did to me. Even when I ate an apple, my dad would say, "no
wonder you're so fat--you're eating all the time." I was about 10
lbs overweight. Kids don't even understand what's going on with
food, except that when it's used in a controlling way, they're going
to binge when given the chance. I love it when I see my children
turn down offers of food (things I would have considered "treats" and
wouldn't have missed an opportunity to eat) or put a bag away before
it's finished--I see that food has a different place in their lives
than it did in mine.