SORRY
groundhoggirl
First of all, I would like to say this will be my only post of the day
and don't plan to turn on the computer tomorrow. I was almost afraid to
open my mail a few minutes ago. I managed to click on "compose" before
I could see all the responses to last night's posts. I'm afraid I'm a
bit too sensitive and, even though I'm already 42, still lacking the
strength and confidence I wish I had.
I would like to apologize for my lack of clarity on the subject of
saying "no" to children who are causing a scene at Walmart (or
where-ever). In my initial response to the original post I apparently
neglected to add that, in addition to saying "no" and, standing your
ground, you would, OF COURSE, explain why, be honest and respectful to
your children, and tell them "I'll be able to afford it next week", or
something like that. I honestly thought (especially since this is an
unschooling list and it is visited by unschoolers or parents who are
sensitive enough to even consider unschooling) that this would be
understood. I obviously was very wrong and I apologize very much for
giving the wrong impression . Believe me, I am not a cold and mean
person. On the contrary, I am a very giving mother. I cherish my boys
and will do anything to maintain their happiness, sense of security and
confidence and, of course, love of learning.
With regard to allowing my boys to display unpleasant behavior at the
store because they are unhappy about something, I do not apologize.
This is something that has worked for my boys and me. This is really
something we hardly experience anymore because they are already 7 years
old. But, on rare occasions, it does still happen, especially if
Leroy's blood sugar is too high or too low. He is a Juvenile Diabetic.
After exhausting all ways of trying to calm him which includes repeating
my explanations why he can't have something, explaining to him he will
surely get it another time, when we can afford it, giving him hugs,
etc. - if all of this does not work, well, then, I let him express his
feelings. I'm very sorry if it inconveniences strangers, but as a
daughter of a very controlling and repressive mother, I believe in
allowing little children to express, in any way they wish, their
happiness, sadness, or anger. I know you don't all agree and I really
don't know anyone who feels the way I feel, but, from my own personal
experiences, this is how I honestly feel the situation should be handled.
My boys are very sweet and loving boys. They are very high-spirited and
happy. Both have serious health issues and I believe their emotional
well-being is very important in keeping them physically healthy. Paul
received a bone-marrow transplant in August 1999. He was diagnosed with
a rare form of Leukemia and he had a very poor prognosis. He has been
in remission for about 2 1/2 years. We are very grateful to the doctors
at Texas Children's Hospital for saving our son's life. Leroy's
diabetes is under very tight control so he is very healthy, otherwise.
I would like to say that in addition to the doctors at TCH, my husband
and I take some of the credit for our boys' good health today. I firmly
believe that their emotional well-being is tied to their physical
well-being. This is why I am so lenient with my boys. I'm sorry if
strangers are inconvenienced or annoyed at my boys, but my boys are more
important than they are. That's how I truly feel.
I think, on the whole, the public should have more patience with
children - especially here in Texas. I'm originally from Belgium and
very liberal Long Island, NY.
That's all I have to say. I'm not going to turn on my computer until
Tuesday. I'm just protecting myself, that's all. I am way too
sensitive and take things too personally. I just hope I didn't make
anybody angry. On Tuesday, I'll probably start lurking for a while and
after a few days will probably start posting again. I should have
recovered by them.
Sorry, if I've been rambling.
Mimi
and don't plan to turn on the computer tomorrow. I was almost afraid to
open my mail a few minutes ago. I managed to click on "compose" before
I could see all the responses to last night's posts. I'm afraid I'm a
bit too sensitive and, even though I'm already 42, still lacking the
strength and confidence I wish I had.
I would like to apologize for my lack of clarity on the subject of
saying "no" to children who are causing a scene at Walmart (or
where-ever). In my initial response to the original post I apparently
neglected to add that, in addition to saying "no" and, standing your
ground, you would, OF COURSE, explain why, be honest and respectful to
your children, and tell them "I'll be able to afford it next week", or
something like that. I honestly thought (especially since this is an
unschooling list and it is visited by unschoolers or parents who are
sensitive enough to even consider unschooling) that this would be
understood. I obviously was very wrong and I apologize very much for
giving the wrong impression . Believe me, I am not a cold and mean
person. On the contrary, I am a very giving mother. I cherish my boys
and will do anything to maintain their happiness, sense of security and
confidence and, of course, love of learning.
With regard to allowing my boys to display unpleasant behavior at the
store because they are unhappy about something, I do not apologize.
This is something that has worked for my boys and me. This is really
something we hardly experience anymore because they are already 7 years
old. But, on rare occasions, it does still happen, especially if
Leroy's blood sugar is too high or too low. He is a Juvenile Diabetic.
After exhausting all ways of trying to calm him which includes repeating
my explanations why he can't have something, explaining to him he will
surely get it another time, when we can afford it, giving him hugs,
etc. - if all of this does not work, well, then, I let him express his
feelings. I'm very sorry if it inconveniences strangers, but as a
daughter of a very controlling and repressive mother, I believe in
allowing little children to express, in any way they wish, their
happiness, sadness, or anger. I know you don't all agree and I really
don't know anyone who feels the way I feel, but, from my own personal
experiences, this is how I honestly feel the situation should be handled.
My boys are very sweet and loving boys. They are very high-spirited and
happy. Both have serious health issues and I believe their emotional
well-being is very important in keeping them physically healthy. Paul
received a bone-marrow transplant in August 1999. He was diagnosed with
a rare form of Leukemia and he had a very poor prognosis. He has been
in remission for about 2 1/2 years. We are very grateful to the doctors
at Texas Children's Hospital for saving our son's life. Leroy's
diabetes is under very tight control so he is very healthy, otherwise.
I would like to say that in addition to the doctors at TCH, my husband
and I take some of the credit for our boys' good health today. I firmly
believe that their emotional well-being is tied to their physical
well-being. This is why I am so lenient with my boys. I'm sorry if
strangers are inconvenienced or annoyed at my boys, but my boys are more
important than they are. That's how I truly feel.
I think, on the whole, the public should have more patience with
children - especially here in Texas. I'm originally from Belgium and
very liberal Long Island, NY.
That's all I have to say. I'm not going to turn on my computer until
Tuesday. I'm just protecting myself, that's all. I am way too
sensitive and take things too personally. I just hope I didn't make
anybody angry. On Tuesday, I'll probably start lurking for a while and
after a few days will probably start posting again. I should have
recovered by them.
Sorry, if I've been rambling.
Mimi
Pam Hartley
Don't panic. :)
Mailing lists like this are useful for ideas and for considering things that
we might not, otherwise, consider. They aren't intended for an emergency
personality surgery on you or me or anyone (though sometimes it does
happen).
Take away from the posts what works and leave the rest. Clarify if you think
you were unclear or were misunderstood.
I try to look hardest at the posts that *really* irritate me, because
sometimes there's something there that I need to pay attention to.
Pam
----------
From: groundhoggirl <groundhoggirl@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] SORRY
Date: Sun, Dec 9, 2001, 8:02 AM
That's all I have to say. I'm not going to turn on my computer until
Tuesday. I'm just protecting myself, that's all. I am way too
sensitive and take things too personally. I just hope I didn't make
anybody angry. On Tuesday, I'll probably start lurking for a while and
after a few days will probably start posting again. I should have
recovered by them.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mailing lists like this are useful for ideas and for considering things that
we might not, otherwise, consider. They aren't intended for an emergency
personality surgery on you or me or anyone (though sometimes it does
happen).
Take away from the posts what works and leave the rest. Clarify if you think
you were unclear or were misunderstood.
I try to look hardest at the posts that *really* irritate me, because
sometimes there's something there that I need to pay attention to.
Pam
----------
From: groundhoggirl <groundhoggirl@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] SORRY
Date: Sun, Dec 9, 2001, 8:02 AM
That's all I have to say. I'm not going to turn on my computer until
Tuesday. I'm just protecting myself, that's all. I am way too
sensitive and take things too personally. I just hope I didn't make
anybody angry. On Tuesday, I'll probably start lurking for a while and
after a few days will probably start posting again. I should have
recovered by them.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Leslie
Ohhh Mimi, gentle mother and woman that I'm sure you are !!!
How could you think a single post could change our opinions of you. In my personal estimation your a great and generous friend to all of us on this list. You deserve many many thanks, from many people, looking for feed back and encouragement here. I admire your courage and the time you take to offer your ideas and experience.
This is a difficult forum and it has taken me a long time to feel even a little bit comfortable offering my ideas or suggestions. When I first starting posting to groups like this I offended and bothered so many people but I'm getting better. Interpreting posts, without actually knowing the poster, and obviously having difficulty recognizing humor or sarcasm, is an art in itself.
I always look forward to reading groundhoggirl, you don't have to apologize for anything, just carry on with being a compassionate and respected member of this cyber society<bg>
Your Cyber Friend, Leslie
ps, I've always wanted to keep a journal but I don't. Lately I've started a file to save some of my posts, much like a journal, and I'm very excited about it.
How could you think a single post could change our opinions of you. In my personal estimation your a great and generous friend to all of us on this list. You deserve many many thanks, from many people, looking for feed back and encouragement here. I admire your courage and the time you take to offer your ideas and experience.
This is a difficult forum and it has taken me a long time to feel even a little bit comfortable offering my ideas or suggestions. When I first starting posting to groups like this I offended and bothered so many people but I'm getting better. Interpreting posts, without actually knowing the poster, and obviously having difficulty recognizing humor or sarcasm, is an art in itself.
I always look forward to reading groundhoggirl, you don't have to apologize for anything, just carry on with being a compassionate and respected member of this cyber society<bg>
Your Cyber Friend, Leslie
ps, I've always wanted to keep a journal but I don't. Lately I've started a file to save some of my posts, much like a journal, and I'm very excited about it.
----- Original Message -----
From: groundhoggirl
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2001 11:02 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] SORRY
First of all, I would like to say this will be my only post of the day
and don't plan to turn on the computer tomorrow. I was almost afraid to
open my mail a few minutes ago. I managed to click on "compose" before
I could see all the responses to last night's posts. I'm afraid I'm a
bit too sensitive and, even though I'm already 42, still lacking the
strength and confidence I wish I had.
I would like to apologize for my lack of clarity on the subject of
saying "no" to children who are causing a scene at Walmart (or
where-ever). In my initial response to the original post I apparently
neglected to add that, in addition to saying "no" and, standing your
ground, you would, OF COURSE, explain why, be honest and respectful to
your children, and tell them "I'll be able to afford it next week", or
something like that. I honestly thought (especially since this is an
unschooling list and it is visited by unschoolers or parents who are
sensitive enough to even consider unschooling) that this would be
understood. I obviously was very wrong and I apologize very much for
giving the wrong impression . Believe me, I am not a cold and mean
person. On the contrary, I am a very giving mother. I cherish my boys
and will do anything to maintain their happiness, sense of security and
confidence and, of course, love of learning.
With regard to allowing my boys to display unpleasant behavior at the
store because they are unhappy about something, I do not apologize.
This is something that has worked for my boys and me. This is really
something we hardly experience anymore because they are already 7 years
old. But, on rare occasions, it does still happen, especially if
Leroy's blood sugar is too high or too low. He is a Juvenile Diabetic.
After exhausting all ways of trying to calm him which includes repeating
my explanations why he can't have something, explaining to him he will
surely get it another time, when we can afford it, giving him hugs,
etc. - if all of this does not work, well, then, I let him express his
feelings. I'm very sorry if it inconveniences strangers, but as a
daughter of a very controlling and repressive mother, I believe in
allowing little children to express, in any way they wish, their
happiness, sadness, or anger. I know you don't all agree and I really
don't know anyone who feels the way I feel, but, from my own personal
experiences, this is how I honestly feel the situation should be handled.
My boys are very sweet and loving boys. They are very high-spirited and
happy. Both have serious health issues and I believe their emotional
well-being is very important in keeping them physically healthy. Paul
received a bone-marrow transplant in August 1999. He was diagnosed with
a rare form of Leukemia and he had a very poor prognosis. He has been
in remission for about 2 1/2 years. We are very grateful to the doctors
at Texas Children's Hospital for saving our son's life. Leroy's
diabetes is under very tight control so he is very healthy, otherwise.
I would like to say that in addition to the doctors at TCH, my husband
and I take some of the credit for our boys' good health today. I firmly
believe that their emotional well-being is tied to their physical
well-being. This is why I am so lenient with my boys. I'm sorry if
strangers are inconvenienced or annoyed at my boys, but my boys are more
important than they are. That's how I truly feel.
I think, on the whole, the public should have more patience with
children - especially here in Texas. I'm originally from Belgium and
very liberal Long Island, NY.
That's all I have to say. I'm not going to turn on my computer until
Tuesday. I'm just protecting myself, that's all. I am way too
sensitive and take things too personally. I just hope I didn't make
anybody angry. On Tuesday, I'll probably start lurking for a while and
after a few days will probably start posting again. I should have
recovered by them.
Sorry, if I've been rambling.
Mimi
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I don't think you need to apologize... I thought we were just having a
discussion, and I'm sorry if you felt attacked. On an email list, it's
hard sometimes because people don't necessarily have all the background
info on how you do things, and although to you it's obviosu that you
would never just say "no" and walk on, other people aren't sure... we're
all still getting to know each other. A lot of times, people suggest
stuff to me, and I think to myself, "Well, but of course I tried that
already, it's obvious" but they mean well, they just don't know me. And
sometimes something sems obvious to me so I don't suggest it, and that
turns out to be the poster's blind spot in the whole issue, the one thing
she never thought of...
Dar, who really needs one nice list right now
________________________________________________________________
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discussion, and I'm sorry if you felt attacked. On an email list, it's
hard sometimes because people don't necessarily have all the background
info on how you do things, and although to you it's obviosu that you
would never just say "no" and walk on, other people aren't sure... we're
all still getting to know each other. A lot of times, people suggest
stuff to me, and I think to myself, "Well, but of course I tried that
already, it's obvious" but they mean well, they just don't know me. And
sometimes something sems obvious to me so I don't suggest it, and that
turns out to be the poster's blind spot in the whole issue, the one thing
she never thought of...
Dar, who really needs one nice list right now
________________________________________________________________
GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/.
zenmomma *
>I was almost afraid toI hope that once you opened it, you didn't feel as bad as you feared you
>open my mail a few minutes ago.
might. I hope the responses came across as ideas or comments rather than as
attacks. That's how I, as a lurker there for a few days, interpreted it all.
There was nothing that I read that should cause you to believe you were way
out of bounds. No need to apologize. This list is for discussions. If we all
agree, all the time, there's no room for growth. So speak away. And listen
too. And grow. Always keep growing. :o)
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp
Janet
Mimi, sorry to hear about your sons' illnesses. My 3 yr old was diagnosed
with leukemia last year. He has a low risk form and should do well with
standard chemo. We have 1 1/2 years of chemo to go.
Janet, mom to Caroline, 7, and Thomas, 3
with leukemia last year. He has a low risk form and should do well with
standard chemo. We have 1 1/2 years of chemo to go.
Janet, mom to Caroline, 7, and Thomas, 3
zenmomma *
>Mimi, sorry to hear about your sons' illnesses. My 3 yr old was diagnosedMy heart goes out to both of you. It must be so hard to see your child
>with leukemia last year. He has a low risk form and should do well with
>standard chemo. We have 1 1/2 years of chemo to go.
>
seriously ill. Even when you believe the outcome will be good, the whole
process must be overwhelming. Blessings to you both and your beautiful
children.
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp
[email protected]
I apologize in advance because sometimes I forget that people take
responses to their posts as if they are written directly TO them, personally.
All comments I ever make are really to the "idea" - not necessarily to an
individual poster. I take what you may have posted and I just start thinking
about it and post about the subject - anything I say may not at all apply to
you and I may not even THINK it might apply to you. I just think that any
topic brought up in any post becomes fodder for exploration and delving into
more deeply.
It is REALLY good to develop an "if the shoe fits" attitude about email
lists. If somebody posts something in response to your post, but you don't
think the shoe fits, then don't feel like you have to defend yourself - just
tell yourself, "Woops, they think that shoe fits me, but I know it doesn't."
Sometimes the opposite happens -- sometimes you'll read a post that is NOT
directed to you, but it'll sting or disturb you anyway because you DO fit
that particular shoe.
--pam
responses to their posts as if they are written directly TO them, personally.
All comments I ever make are really to the "idea" - not necessarily to an
individual poster. I take what you may have posted and I just start thinking
about it and post about the subject - anything I say may not at all apply to
you and I may not even THINK it might apply to you. I just think that any
topic brought up in any post becomes fodder for exploration and delving into
more deeply.
It is REALLY good to develop an "if the shoe fits" attitude about email
lists. If somebody posts something in response to your post, but you don't
think the shoe fits, then don't feel like you have to defend yourself - just
tell yourself, "Woops, they think that shoe fits me, but I know it doesn't."
Sometimes the opposite happens -- sometimes you'll read a post that is NOT
directed to you, but it'll sting or disturb you anyway because you DO fit
that particular shoe.
--pam
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/10/2001 2:17:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
PSoroosh@... writes:
this mentality to reading posts? ;)
living in abundance
lovemary
I cannot judge my own path and SELF, having the knowledge that I have chosen
to come here to experience these specific issues and grow, learn, and
Remember Who I Am.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
PSoroosh@... writes:
> It is REALLY good to develop an "if the shoe fits" attitude about emailWow Pam. . . do you think we could get people on that other list to apply
> lists. If somebody posts something in response to your post, but you don't
> think the shoe fits, then don't feel like you have to defend yourself -
> just
> tell yourself, "Woops, they think that shoe fits me, but I know it
> doesn't."
>
>
> Sometimes the opposite happens -- sometimes you'll read a post that is NOT
> directed to you, but it'll sting or disturb you anyway because you DO fit
> that particular shoe.
>
> --pam
>
this mentality to reading posts? ;)
living in abundance
lovemary
I cannot judge my own path and SELF, having the knowledge that I have chosen
to come here to experience these specific issues and grow, learn, and
Remember Who I Am.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/10/01 4:01:55 PM, lite2yu@... writes:
<<
Wow Pam. . . do you think we could get people on that other list to apply
this mentality to reading posts? ;) >>
I'll be happy if we get people on this list to do it.
<<
Wow Pam. . . do you think we could get people on that other list to apply
this mentality to reading posts? ;) >>
I'll be happy if we get people on this list to do it.
meghan anderson
Message: 14
<<<<< Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2001 18:18:22 EST
From: SandraDodd@...
Subject: Re: SORRY
I'll be happy if we get people on this list to do
it.>>>>>
Sounds like a good goal to me!
Meghan :-)
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<<<<< Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2001 18:18:22 EST
From: SandraDodd@...
Subject: Re: SORRY
I'll be happy if we get people on this list to do
it.>>>>>
Sounds like a good goal to me!
Meghan :-)
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