How to Screw Up Unschooling
Sandra Dodd
HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING
by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
(work in progress)
* Don't talk to your kids.
* Tell your kids to leave you alone.
* Tell your kids they ask too many questions.
* Don't let your kids explore the house; they have their own rooms,
they can stay in there.
Any more to add?
by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
(work in progress)
* Don't talk to your kids.
* Tell your kids to leave you alone.
* Tell your kids they ask too many questions.
* Don't let your kids explore the house; they have their own rooms,
they can stay in there.
Any more to add?
marji
I have a few:
* Be critical and belittling of your kids' passions and interests
and shoot down their ideas in the name of reality and practicality.
* Set your default response to "no."
* Punish first, ask questions later.
* If you do talk to your kids, be sure to talk down to them.
* Don't trust your kids.
At 15:20 6/23/2008, you wrote:
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Checked by AVG.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
* Be critical and belittling of your kids' passions and interests
and shoot down their ideas in the name of reality and practicality.
* Set your default response to "no."
* Punish first, ask questions later.
* If you do talk to your kids, be sure to talk down to them.
* Don't trust your kids.
At 15:20 6/23/2008, you wrote:
>HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING----------
>by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
>(work in progress)
>
>(snip)
>Any more to add?
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
swissarmy_wife
* spank them
* make them do a math curriculum
* insult them
* don't let them watch TV
* don't show any interest in their interests
* make them do a math curriculum
* insult them
* don't let them watch TV
* don't show any interest in their interests
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING
> by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
> (work in progress)
>
>
> * Don't talk to your kids.
>
> * Tell your kids to leave you alone.
>
> * Tell your kids they ask too many questions.
>
> * Don't let your kids explore the house; they have their own rooms,
> they can stay in there.
>
>
> Any more to add?
>
Schuyler
Dismiss their interests as trivial or too much trouble for not enough gain.
Come prepared with no; only occasionally say yes.
Have preconceived notions about television and food that you are unwilling to explore.
Live a very routine life. Don't look for new experiences, new ideas, new people, new places. Do the things you know.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message ----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 23 June, 2008 8:20:12 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] How to Screw Up Unschooling
HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING
by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
(work in progress)
* Don't talk to your kids.
* Tell your kids to leave you alone.
* Tell your kids they ask too many questions.
* Don't let your kids explore the house; they have their own rooms,
they can stay in there.
Any more to add?
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Come prepared with no; only occasionally say yes.
Have preconceived notions about television and food that you are unwilling to explore.
Live a very routine life. Don't look for new experiences, new ideas, new people, new places. Do the things you know.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message ----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 23 June, 2008 8:20:12 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] How to Screw Up Unschooling
HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING
by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
(work in progress)
* Don't talk to your kids.
* Tell your kids to leave you alone.
* Tell your kids they ask too many questions.
* Don't let your kids explore the house; they have their own rooms,
they can stay in there.
Any more to add?
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cameron Parham
* Don't allow a mess, or always make kids clean up
* Look for who's to blame when things get stressful
* Tell kids how their experiments will turn out
* Project the future from small daily events
* Micromanage so things turn out the way the parent 'knows' is best
* Assign life experiences a different 'learning value' and steer kids, "subtly" towards what you see as more valuable
I am at times guilty of all of these although I am actually too poor a housekeeper for the first error to be apparent to most people! Still it was fun to get to articulate them. Thanks for the opportunity. Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
* Look for who's to blame when things get stressful
* Tell kids how their experiments will turn out
* Project the future from small daily events
* Micromanage so things turn out the way the parent 'knows' is best
* Assign life experiences a different 'learning value' and steer kids, "subtly" towards what you see as more valuable
I am at times guilty of all of these although I am actually too poor a housekeeper for the first error to be apparent to most people! Still it was fun to get to articulate them. Thanks for the opportunity. Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
*compare your children to other children
*be unavailable most of the time doing other "more important" tasks than beeing with them and doing things they want to do with you
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
*be unavailable most of the time doing other "more important" tasks than beeing with them and doing things they want to do with you
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
This is basically just a beginning list of fallacies which I as an adult can
easily refute. As a child, I couldn't figure my way round them because I
wanted to be able to do what was asked (even demanded):
*Tell them they can't do or have something until they're old enough or have
earned it or attained some other achievement first.
*See your income as strictly yours and not belonging to anyone else in the
family.
*See other items belonging to you as strictly yours and not to be touched
especially by sticky careless kid fingers.
*Be sure to point out all the watermarks on the furniture.
*Keep in mind that if you don't complain, children might think you don't
care.
*At least LOOK like you're in charge.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
easily refute. As a child, I couldn't figure my way round them because I
wanted to be able to do what was asked (even demanded):
*Tell them they can't do or have something until they're old enough or have
earned it or attained some other achievement first.
*See your income as strictly yours and not belonging to anyone else in the
family.
*See other items belonging to you as strictly yours and not to be touched
especially by sticky careless kid fingers.
*Be sure to point out all the watermarks on the furniture.
*Keep in mind that if you don't complain, children might think you don't
care.
*At least LOOK like you're in charge.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cameron Parham
* Set your default response to "no."
In my family we have long called this the "Automatic NO Button." The kids and I knew about this even before we started unschooling, from their grandmother and other kids' parents mostly. I have seen that many overwhelmed mothers have a very strong automatic no button. It's especially bad in those who also think that once you say no you must never back down or change your mind. I so much hated the automatic no button as a child that I had already developed the theory that overwhelmed/overtired people say "No!" immediately because they can't imagine one more thing/idea/job to deal with. Maybe they are also emotionally overloaded. This is so common in our culture. Some of the women I work with have been open to learning to watch for their tendency to automatically say NO if I lead into the discussion with understanding that they are overwhelmed, and the term "automatic no button" lends some humor to the discussion to help them stay
open. My Mom has even learned to wait if I preface a discussion during one of her visits with, "Watch out, Mom. This may hit the automatic no button!" So real. Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In my family we have long called this the "Automatic NO Button." The kids and I knew about this even before we started unschooling, from their grandmother and other kids' parents mostly. I have seen that many overwhelmed mothers have a very strong automatic no button. It's especially bad in those who also think that once you say no you must never back down or change your mind. I so much hated the automatic no button as a child that I had already developed the theory that overwhelmed/overtired people say "No!" immediately because they can't imagine one more thing/idea/job to deal with. Maybe they are also emotionally overloaded. This is so common in our culture. Some of the women I work with have been open to learning to watch for their tendency to automatically say NO if I lead into the discussion with understanding that they are overwhelmed, and the term "automatic no button" lends some humor to the discussion to help them stay
open. My Mom has even learned to wait if I preface a discussion during one of her visits with, "Watch out, Mom. This may hit the automatic no button!" So real. Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nancy Wooton
On Jun 23, 2008, at 1:58 PM, Cameron Parham wrote:
trying to convince their mom to buy them a -- Book! The mom was
looking at -- Books! but then told the girls she wasn't buying them
anything, that they want a book every time they come to the bookstore,
they'd have to wait until Christmas, yada yada. The girls tried to
make a case for the book, tried to show mom how cool it was... no
dice. Mom bought something for herself later, as she was behind me in
line, though it was something other than a book.
When I was a kid, my mom had a standing "yes" policy with books, but
toys had a "wait until birthday/Christmas" rule, which was hard
because my birthday is Nov. 24. But if I wanted a book, I got it.
That's a tradition I've carried forward :-)
Nancy
> In my family we have long called this the "Automatic NO Button."I was in Borders Books yesterday where I observed two little girls
> The kids and I knew about this even before we started unschooling,
> from their grandmother and other kids' parents mostly. I have seen
> that many overwhelmed mothers have a very strong automatic no button.
trying to convince their mom to buy them a -- Book! The mom was
looking at -- Books! but then told the girls she wasn't buying them
anything, that they want a book every time they come to the bookstore,
they'd have to wait until Christmas, yada yada. The girls tried to
make a case for the book, tried to show mom how cool it was... no
dice. Mom bought something for herself later, as she was behind me in
line, though it was something other than a book.
When I was a kid, my mom had a standing "yes" policy with books, but
toys had a "wait until birthday/Christmas" rule, which was hard
because my birthday is Nov. 24. But if I wanted a book, I got it.
That's a tradition I've carried forward :-)
Nancy
Sandra Dodd
-=-*At least LOOK like you're in charge.-=-
I'm leaving this off the list pending explanation or rephrase. I
don't see how the appearance that no one knows what's going on will
help unschooling, and I'm hoping these will all be things that can be
simply reversed to make some what TO do statements.
I'm building a list here:
http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm leaving this off the list pending explanation or rephrase. I
don't see how the appearance that no one knows what's going on will
help unschooling, and I'm hoping these will all be things that can be
simply reversed to make some what TO do statements.
I'm building a list here:
http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
* Limit their computer time.
* Only buy them games that are "educational."
* Only give them food you approve of/think is healthy.
* Make them do chores (especially for money for things they want) and
withhold payment if they don't do them.
* Lay guilt trips on them or shame them if they don't act as you think
they "should."
* Don't ever talk to them about situations that could be handled
better the next time.
* Decide it's too much trouble to help them get what they want or need.
* Don't provide information that might be important to them and let
them muddle through alone because *you* are too embarrrassed (thinking
body science/sexuality/drugs).
* Believe that they will never (read/add/brush their hair/get a job/
whatever) because they are "old enough to know this by now."
Robin B.
* Only buy them games that are "educational."
* Only give them food you approve of/think is healthy.
* Make them do chores (especially for money for things they want) and
withhold payment if they don't do them.
* Lay guilt trips on them or shame them if they don't act as you think
they "should."
* Don't ever talk to them about situations that could be handled
better the next time.
* Decide it's too much trouble to help them get what they want or need.
* Don't provide information that might be important to them and let
them muddle through alone because *you* are too embarrrassed (thinking
body science/sexuality/drugs).
* Believe that they will never (read/add/brush their hair/get a job/
whatever) because they are "old enough to know this by now."
Robin B.
Robin Bentley
Ooh, thought of another one:
* Indicate (with subtlety, of course) that one kind of interest is
more valuable than another - i.e. reading, writing, algebra, board
games are better than, for instance, tv watching, playing with stuffed
animals, making up puns, handheld or online gaming etc. Make sure that
the interest you favor for them is one that you prefer yourself.
Robin B.
* Indicate (with subtlety, of course) that one kind of interest is
more valuable than another - i.e. reading, writing, algebra, board
games are better than, for instance, tv watching, playing with stuffed
animals, making up puns, handheld or online gaming etc. Make sure that
the interest you favor for them is one that you prefer yourself.
Robin B.
riasplace3
Remind them of mistakes they've made in the past. Frequently.
Barbara Perez
*Up until a couple of years ago, I used to take my kids to Borders every
Friday evening. They'd have live music at 7 and we'd get there around six,
with plenty of time to browse around and shop, pick a cozy chair to sit near
the performers and pick an armful of books to look at while we listened. As
a rule the kids each automatically had $5 to spend on (generally one) book,
unless they'd brought any extra pocket money. It was great to watch them
develop strategies for picking that one book each week, and see if they'd
put it aside after paying for it (and use the time there to look at other
books) or if they couldn't resist and dove in immediately. For a while we
ran into some of the same people regularly (an older lady and her two grown
daughters, a dad with a toddler who was at first shy with my kids, then
would dance on the aisle with them as soon as the music started). When the
musicians were done and packing up, my kids would go up to talk to them
while I paid for our books. So many great memories made there!*
Friday evening. They'd have live music at 7 and we'd get there around six,
with plenty of time to browse around and shop, pick a cozy chair to sit near
the performers and pick an armful of books to look at while we listened. As
a rule the kids each automatically had $5 to spend on (generally one) book,
unless they'd brought any extra pocket money. It was great to watch them
develop strategies for picking that one book each week, and see if they'd
put it aside after paying for it (and use the time there to look at other
books) or if they couldn't resist and dove in immediately. For a while we
ran into some of the same people regularly (an older lady and her two grown
daughters, a dad with a toddler who was at first shy with my kids, then
would dance on the aisle with them as soon as the music started). When the
musicians were done and packing up, my kids would go up to talk to them
while I paid for our books. So many great memories made there!*
On Mon, Jun 23, 2008 at 3:21 PM, Nancy Wooton <nancywooton@...> wrote:
>
> On Jun 23, 2008, at 1:58 PM, Cameron Parham wrote:
>
> > In my family we have long called this the "Automatic NO Button."
> > The kids and I knew about this even before we started unschooling,
> > from their grandmother and other kids' parents mostly. I have seen
> > that many overwhelmed mothers have a very strong automatic no button.
>
> I was in Borders Books yesterday where I observed two little girls
> trying to convince their mom to buy them a -- Book! The mom was
> looking at -- Books! but then told the girls she wasn't buying them
> anything, that they want a book every time they come to the bookstore,
> they'd have to wait until Christmas, yada yada. The girls tried to
> make a case for the book, tried to show mom how cool it was... no
> dice. Mom bought something for herself later, as she was behind me in
> line, though it was something other than a book.
>
> When I was a kid, my mom had a standing "yes" policy with books, but
> toys had a "wait until birthday/Christmas" rule, which was hard
> because my birthday is Nov. 24. But if I wanted a book, I got it.
> That's a tradition I've carried forward :-)
>
> Nancy
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Clarissa Fetrow
Be sure children use items for their originally intended purpose only.
Insist that one toy be put away before another is taken out.
Insist they read aloud to you daily.
Don't allow them to reread books or rewatch movies. If they ask you to
retell a story, say, "I already told you!"
Only allow them age-appropriate activities.
Don't let unexpected opportunities disrupt your plans.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Insist that one toy be put away before another is taken out.
Insist they read aloud to you daily.
Don't allow them to reread books or rewatch movies. If they ask you to
retell a story, say, "I already told you!"
Only allow them age-appropriate activities.
Don't let unexpected opportunities disrupt your plans.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Dietrick
--make sure you really figure out your child so well that you can give
him a label (shy, slow, lazy, oppositional, good, troublesome and on..)
--make sure you let your children know the label (or labels) youve
given them, preferably daily.
--when you child says he likes or dislikes something, make sure that
comment becomes written in stone: if he doesnt like broccoli tonight,
make sure you never offer broccoli again, and if you do, make sure
everyone knows he doesnt like broccoli.
melissa
in italy
mamma of 7
him a label (shy, slow, lazy, oppositional, good, troublesome and on..)
--make sure you let your children know the label (or labels) youve
given them, preferably daily.
--when you child says he likes or dislikes something, make sure that
comment becomes written in stone: if he doesnt like broccoli tonight,
make sure you never offer broccoli again, and if you do, make sure
everyone knows he doesnt like broccoli.
melissa
in italy
mamma of 7
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> HOW TO SCREW UP UNSCHOOLING
> by Sandra Dodd and other on the AlwaysLearning list
> (work in progress)
>
> ...
>
> Any more to add?
>
Jules Adler
Thanks for starting this thread. I must have been processing these
posts in my sleep because I woke up and these came to mind:
* Follow someone else's "age-appropriate" guidelines.
Worry:
* Focus too much on how your kids will "turn out" instead of
enjoying who they are right now.
* Believe that life is divided into school subjects and worry "how
will my kids ever learn x".
Similar to "compare your children to other children":
* Be impatient and worry or expect that your kid should be doing
something, e.g., reading, because their friends of the same age can
all do it.
Under "Responses":
* When asked the reason you said "no", respond with "because I said so".
Under "Don't talk to kids" and similar to "Don't ever talk to them
about situations that could be handled better the next time.":
* "Unparent" -- give kids "free reign" without talking to them re:
appropriateness of their actions (affecting others and others' property).
In reading through other's posts, it looks like there's a lot under
the theme of "control", e.g., "controlling the home environment",
"controlling money and purchases", "controlling food", "controlling
media", etc.
BTW, this is my first post to this list (been lurking and learning for
a while -- thanks for all the wisdom). I have a 3.5yo son.
Jules
posts in my sleep because I woke up and these came to mind:
* Follow someone else's "age-appropriate" guidelines.
Worry:
* Focus too much on how your kids will "turn out" instead of
enjoying who they are right now.
* Believe that life is divided into school subjects and worry "how
will my kids ever learn x".
Similar to "compare your children to other children":
* Be impatient and worry or expect that your kid should be doing
something, e.g., reading, because their friends of the same age can
all do it.
Under "Responses":
* When asked the reason you said "no", respond with "because I said so".
Under "Don't talk to kids" and similar to "Don't ever talk to them
about situations that could be handled better the next time.":
* "Unparent" -- give kids "free reign" without talking to them re:
appropriateness of their actions (affecting others and others' property).
In reading through other's posts, it looks like there's a lot under
the theme of "control", e.g., "controlling the home environment",
"controlling money and purchases", "controlling food", "controlling
media", etc.
BTW, this is my first post to this list (been lurking and learning for
a while -- thanks for all the wisdom). I have a 3.5yo son.
Jules
swissarmy_wife
I have 2 more!
* when your children ask you to read a word, make them "sound it out"
* put books on a pedestal above all other sources of information
* when your children ask you to read a word, make them "sound it out"
* put books on a pedestal above all other sources of information
Jill Parmer
Stop free learning, exploration, activity jumping at a certain age,
because 'they need more structure now'.
Don't buy funky, specialized, unusual items from the grocery store,
because 'it's expensive', 'we'll never cook with it', 'it's just the
same as blah blah blah'. (Thinking of all the cool pasta shapes here.)
Worry, worry, worry.
~Jill
because 'they need more structure now'.
Don't buy funky, specialized, unusual items from the grocery store,
because 'it's expensive', 'we'll never cook with it', 'it's just the
same as blah blah blah'. (Thinking of all the cool pasta shapes here.)
Worry, worry, worry.
~Jill
Jenny C
*make kids clean up their own messes, especially after a particularly
messy project
*or worse, don't let them make a mess because you don't want to clean it
up afterward
*listen to others over your children ( this applies to conversations and
"expert" advice given)
*hide all matches and knives because they are dangerous
*make your children clean their plates
*restrict all food that you, the parent, deem as unhealthy
*don't offer to help (this pretty much applies to anything)
*don't include your kids in important family decisions
messy project
*or worse, don't let them make a mess because you don't want to clean it
up afterward
*listen to others over your children ( this applies to conversations and
"expert" advice given)
*hide all matches and knives because they are dangerous
*make your children clean their plates
*restrict all food that you, the parent, deem as unhealthy
*don't offer to help (this pretty much applies to anything)
*don't include your kids in important family decisions
marji
Liam's contribution (13 years old):
~ Don't help your kid understand the ways of the world and boundaries
and what's right and what's wrong.
----------
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~ Don't help your kid understand the ways of the world and boundaries
and what's right and what's wrong.
----------
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[email protected]
these are great~
have the idea that unschooling is just allowing your kids to walk all over others because they feel like it and well you don't want to run their lives!
think your children not smart or wise enough, so therefore you must make the decisions for them
or
place no value on their opinions because they are only kids afterall!
emmy
www.emmytofa.com
have the idea that unschooling is just allowing your kids to walk all over others because they feel like it and well you don't want to run their lives!
think your children not smart or wise enough, so therefore you must make the decisions for them
or
place no value on their opinions because they are only kids afterall!
emmy
www.emmytofa.com
Sandra Dodd
Help, please. On the how to screw it up page
http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
Don't Advise
"Unparent"�give kids "free reign" without talking to them re:
appropriateness of their actions (affecting others and others'
property).
Don't help your kid understand the ways of the world and boundaries
and what's right and what's wrong.
"Don't advise" isn't what I mean, I think. I'm thinking it should be
something like "Don't counsel respectfully" or "Don't help them
understand the world" but it should be short.
Anyone have a great idea?
In other places where there were sets, I did this:
Responses:
Set your default response to "no." **
Come prepared with no; only occasionally say yes.
When asked the reason you said "no", respond with "because I said so".
"Interests":
Don't show any interest in their interests.
Dismiss their interests as trivial or too much trouble for not enough
gain.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
Don't Advise
"Unparent"�give kids "free reign" without talking to them re:
appropriateness of their actions (affecting others and others'
property).
Don't help your kid understand the ways of the world and boundaries
and what's right and what's wrong.
"Don't advise" isn't what I mean, I think. I'm thinking it should be
something like "Don't counsel respectfully" or "Don't help them
understand the world" but it should be short.
Anyone have a great idea?
In other places where there were sets, I did this:
Responses:
Set your default response to "no." **
Come prepared with no; only occasionally say yes.
When asked the reason you said "no", respond with "because I said so".
"Interests":
Don't show any interest in their interests.
Dismiss their interests as trivial or too much trouble for not enough
gain.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji
Well, the short phrase I use for this sort of thing is "tugging my
coat" or "tugging my sleeve". But this is perhaps a little esoteric,
urban, and maybe a little ungainly. Maybe, "imparting wisdom" or
just "wisdom"?
At 16:28 6/24/2008, you wrote:
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 270.4.1/1516 - Release Date: 6/24/2008 7:53 AM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coat" or "tugging my sleeve". But this is perhaps a little esoteric,
urban, and maybe a little ungainly. Maybe, "imparting wisdom" or
just "wisdom"?
At 16:28 6/24/2008, you wrote:
>Help, please. On the how to screw it up page----------
>http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
>
>I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
>
>Don't Advise
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 270.4.1/1516 - Release Date: 6/24/2008 7:53 AM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jill Parmer
Don't collaborate?
Don't share information?
~Jill
Don't share information?
~Jill
On Jun 24, 2008, at 2:28 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
>
> Don't Advise
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swissarmy_wife
Don't be helpful?
--- In [email protected], Jill Parmer <jparmer@...> wrote:
>
> Don't collaborate?
> Don't share information?
>
> ~Jill
>
> On Jun 24, 2008, at 2:28 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
>
> > I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
> >
> > Don't Advise
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
marji
Or, what about "Guiding" or "Guidance" or even "Counsel"?
At 16:28 6/24/2008, you wrote:
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At 16:28 6/24/2008, you wrote:
>Help, please. On the how to screw it up page----------
>http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
>
>I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
>
>Don't Advise
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 270.4.1/1516 - Release Date: 6/24/2008 7:53 AM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
How about "Don't Give/Share Information"
On 6/24/08, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> Help, please. On the how to screw it up page
> http://sandradodd.com/screwitup
>
> I tried to categorize two things, and I don't like what I chose.
>
> Don't Advise
> "Unparent"�give kids "free reign" without talking to them re:
> appropriateness of their actions (affecting others and others'
> property).
> Don't help your kid understand the ways of the world and boundaries
> and what's right and what's wrong.
> "Don't advise" isn't what I mean, I think. I'm thinking it should be
> something like "Don't counsel respectfully" or "Don't help them
> understand the world" but it should be short.
>
> Anyone have a great idea?
> In other places where there were sets, I did this:
>
> Responses:
> Set your default response to "no." **
> Come prepared with no; only occasionally say yes.
> When asked the reason you said "no", respond with "because I said so".
> "Interests":
> Don't show any interest in their interests.
> Dismiss their interests as trivial or too much trouble for not enough
> gain.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
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Joylyn
---- Jill Parmer <jparmer@...> wrote:
How do you say no to that?
well, I rarely say no to anything food, but we do limit things due to finances. we can try one new fruit today, and another one next time we come to the store.
Today we also bought chocolate candy covered sunflower seeds...
Joylyn
>My kids are always asking to try to weird fruit or vegie in the store... today it is peaches that look sorta like donuts on steriods.
> Don't buy funky, specialized, unusual items from the grocery store,
> because 'it's expensive', 'we'll never cook with it', 'it's just the
> same as blah blah blah'. (Thinking of all the cool pasta shapes here.)
>
How do you say no to that?
well, I rarely say no to anything food, but we do limit things due to finances. we can try one new fruit today, and another one next time we come to the store.
Today we also bought chocolate candy covered sunflower seeds...
Joylyn
> Worry, worry, worry.
>
> ~Jill
[email protected]
how bout: Neglect disguised as freedom
emmy
www.emmytofa.com
emmy
www.emmytofa.com