Re: Sugar, and phrases to avoid
Jay Ford
===Everything I've ever known about eating disorders have been about kids
that I've known throughout my life, and what I've heard through
scientific studies and such. It seemed to me the underlying issue
was/is always about control or trying to find control for oneself. In
my own head I'm playing out all these ideas and scenarios, intentionally
not discussing any of it with my daughter until I worked it out in my
own head through thought and observation of what was going on right in
front of me.
At any age a kid should be able to decide what and how much and when to
eat, at 14, they should pretty much have that down. My daughter has
never been restricted with food, so I decided that she must clearly know
what she's doing, especially given that I completely trust her. I
figured the best thing I could do, as her mom, is to observe and listen,
make food she likes and offer to make food at any time that she might
seem hungry. That is what I did. After all many people fast for many
reasons and live to tell about it!
Fast forward about 2 months, and a whole bunch of unexpected things have
come out of this. One is that she's still here and still healthy. She
doesn't have an eating disorder just because she chose not to eat much
if at all. Her food choices became very select, and almost entirely
whole foods. She learned all about caloric intake, vitamins, fats,
carbs, and all those other nutrition labeling that is on food, she even
found info about fruits and meats. In her research about meat, she
learned all about factory farming and has decided to avoid these things.
She's found for herself on a whole new level what it is to push her body
and find it's limits, to know really what she NEEDS to eat to survive..
Meanwhile alarmists all around me have been trying to tell me that she's
got this eating disorder and that she's anorexic and all sorts of other
dysfunctional stuff. I've pushed those nay sayers out the door to make
room for my daughter. What I see is a very smart kid who found for
herself in an unconventional way how and what to eat and took it to a
level that goes beyond basic nutrition and goes all the way to ethics.
That never would have happened if I hadn't trusted, if I had listened to
the alarmists instead of observing and knowing deeply that my daughter
can and will make good choices if given the chance to. I could have
done a lot to ruin all that happened. It's really easy to screw it up,
it takes a lot to shut up and trust and watch and observe when you see
your kids do things that trigger alarms.===
My daughter is 13 and just did the same thing. Only before I could adjust to her being vegetarian (and we had just stocked up on veggie foods) she became a vegan. :) Huge mental shift for *me*, the meat eater and junk food king. But she's cooking and trying new recipes, and I'm looking for foods she can eat (when not in Whole Foods). Most of our shopping is done at Whole Foods now.
Jay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
that I've known throughout my life, and what I've heard through
scientific studies and such. It seemed to me the underlying issue
was/is always about control or trying to find control for oneself. In
my own head I'm playing out all these ideas and scenarios, intentionally
not discussing any of it with my daughter until I worked it out in my
own head through thought and observation of what was going on right in
front of me.
At any age a kid should be able to decide what and how much and when to
eat, at 14, they should pretty much have that down. My daughter has
never been restricted with food, so I decided that she must clearly know
what she's doing, especially given that I completely trust her. I
figured the best thing I could do, as her mom, is to observe and listen,
make food she likes and offer to make food at any time that she might
seem hungry. That is what I did. After all many people fast for many
reasons and live to tell about it!
Fast forward about 2 months, and a whole bunch of unexpected things have
come out of this. One is that she's still here and still healthy. She
doesn't have an eating disorder just because she chose not to eat much
if at all. Her food choices became very select, and almost entirely
whole foods. She learned all about caloric intake, vitamins, fats,
carbs, and all those other nutrition labeling that is on food, she even
found info about fruits and meats. In her research about meat, she
learned all about factory farming and has decided to avoid these things.
She's found for herself on a whole new level what it is to push her body
and find it's limits, to know really what she NEEDS to eat to survive..
Meanwhile alarmists all around me have been trying to tell me that she's
got this eating disorder and that she's anorexic and all sorts of other
dysfunctional stuff. I've pushed those nay sayers out the door to make
room for my daughter. What I see is a very smart kid who found for
herself in an unconventional way how and what to eat and took it to a
level that goes beyond basic nutrition and goes all the way to ethics.
That never would have happened if I hadn't trusted, if I had listened to
the alarmists instead of observing and knowing deeply that my daughter
can and will make good choices if given the chance to. I could have
done a lot to ruin all that happened. It's really easy to screw it up,
it takes a lot to shut up and trust and watch and observe when you see
your kids do things that trigger alarms.===
My daughter is 13 and just did the same thing. Only before I could adjust to her being vegetarian (and we had just stocked up on veggie foods) she became a vegan. :) Huge mental shift for *me*, the meat eater and junk food king. But she's cooking and trying new recipes, and I'm looking for foods she can eat (when not in Whole Foods). Most of our shopping is done at Whole Foods now.
Jay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]