Bea

I only have a 2 and a half year old so far (planning on having one or
two more children), and I'm wondering: how was it when your kids were
small? What did your days look like? What about friendships: did you
make new ones and how did you go about doing that? Also: what did you
do when you were pregnant and had less energy?

I live in Belgium where the overwhelming majority of people send their
kids to daycare, and even the most mindful parents send their kids to
"school" at 3 (only one person homeschools in my LLL group) and I'm
feeling very lonely. I'm moving to Montreal in 2 months and have found
a new homelearners group there that looks promising, so hopefully I
won't feel so lonely soon... (oh, and I'm going to Live and Learn in
September :-)


Bea

Sandra Dodd

-=-how was it when your kids were
small? What did your days look like? What about friendships: did you
make new ones and how did you go about doing that? Also: what did you
do when you were pregnant and had less energy? -=-

I lucked out hugely, when my three were little. I was in a
babysitting co-op (pre-Holly-birth too) of all La Leche Leaders and
some of the invited others (I was an other; started to become a
leader but then didn't). So we had several families whose kids knew
mine well, and some of those kids are still in our lives. I got a
dance recital notice from one this morning! Holly's going to the
birthday party of another next week.



So with that, but somewhat even without it, we had one day a week
that we went to a park just for the kids to play and the moms to
visit and get to know the other kids better. We had other kids who
could come over and play, and though sometimes I was getting
babysitting-co-op points for it, sometimes they were just over for
fun, or a parties.

We had lots of toys (lots used, and things to play with that weren't
specifically toy-store things) and lots of kid-videos with sing-
alongs and lots of recorded Sesame Street things (DVDs and internet
make that all very easy these days).

We built a big sand box in the back yard and made a shade with sheets
and tent poles (a home-job, nothing bought) and on very hot days it
helped to spray water on that shade cloth, and the kids would play
with the hose in the sand.

We pulled all the sticker-plants out of our yard even before we had
babies, and so they could go barefooted outside which is a luxury in
the desert.

We slept together, or I'd sleep with the babies in another room when
my husband really needed a full night's sleep for something pressing
or important.

When we went on drives to see grandma or whatever, we'd allow an
extra hour or two to stop and walk around at the side of the road, so
the kids got to see and touch and explore and not be stuck in the car
so long.

I'd take them to the store when it wasn't crowded and we'd take our
time and look at things and talk about stuff and use the store as one
big museum.

We would got to kid-food places with playgrounds so they could play
when it was cold or wet.

We didn't know we were going to homeschool. We just considered it
all part of attachment parenting and a joyful childhood for them, but
it easily turned into unschooling, and there were two unschooling
families in that co-op and two structured homeschooling families, so
I didn't have to do much research or angsty thought to decide what
and how, because I KNEW and could see that the unschooling families
were happier and had better relationships than the other ones.



Sandra








[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny C

> I only have a 2 and a half year old so far (planning on having one or
> two more children), and I'm wondering: how was it when your kids were
> small? What did your days look like? What about friendships: did you
> make new ones and how did you go about doing that? Also: what did you
> do when you were pregnant and had less energy?

Well, I don't know about less energy... I had my first child when I was
really young so I had a lot of energy! None of my friends had
children, and I didn't know any others with children besides my sis-in-
law, so my daughter had cousins she saw sometimes.

My friends were great and loved my daughter and welcomed her coming
along to outings and whatnot. I believed at the time that I didn't
really need to change my lifestyle just because I had a child, but that
my child could be incorporated into our lives. We took her
everywhere. I was in college still and took her to classes. I worked
at an outdoor art and craft market on the weekends and took her with me
sometimes.

We lived rurally at the time, but close to a big city, so we were kind
of isolated. To do stuff we got out of the house a lot, A LOT. We
were on the go frequently and she just came along. She was easy going
about it, I think because that is how it was since she had been born.

By the time she was 4, she really wanted to be around other kids, which
also coincided with me really needing a full time job for a while, so I
put her into a child care. We were talking about this last night. I
was telling her how hard it was for me to take her there everyday and
be apart from her. She, 14 now, told me that she loved going there,
which I knew already, and it was the only way I was able to keep doing
it. If she had cried every time I left her there, I don't think I
could've done it, but she never did, she was always happy to be there
and happy to see me when I came to pick her up.

Then a year later, we decided to homeschool, and I took her out of
childcare and took her with me to work, a different job, where I taught
dance classes. Then I continued doing that at a different dance
teaching job where she wasn't the only homeschooled child that came to
work with her mom, pretty unusual, but that's what it was and it was a
wonderful experience for both of us. She was able to take all kinds of
classes like gymnastics, sports, spanish, arts and crafts, and the
place had a huge jungle gym that was about three levels or about 2
stories high in a huge room that was bigger than a gymnasium. It was a
kid's dream come true!

Then I had my second child where my maternity leave coincided with the
place that I was working for going bankrupt and I was out of a job and
at home fulltime for the first time since ever! I've tried other
ventures here and there since but nothing has really panned out, so we
go and do stuff just us girls and sometimes in the evening with dad
too. We team up and do things seperately too because my older daughter
needs to get out and my younger daughter never wants to. A lot of our
days are spent at home and when dad gets home I go and do stuff with my
older daughter while my husband spends time with our younger daughter,
it isn't perfect but it works for now.

We don't have a lot of homeschooling friends. We need help in the
friends department. I always have my feelers out, but it's pretty hard
to make friends when we never go anywhere and we don't go places
because my younger daughter makes it miserable more often than not when
we do go anywhere, not always, but often.