Winning
Amanda Horein
My oldest has a really hard time with playing board games and stuff.
Usually about halfway through the game she gets really down hearted if she
isn't in the lead. She is convinced that she isn't going to win. We can try
to explain that no one knows who is going to win and even talk to her about
the fact that many of the games that we play are based on chance.
What can I do to help her?
Oh, she does this with our board games at home (Cootie and Candyland are big
ones that she does it with) and even with online games as well. With the
online games she often gets upsets and starts banging things around. I do my
very best to get to her before the banging (generally speaking she doesn't
like me to sit next to her all the time. She hides the screen from me and
gets embarrassed. I have tried to understand this because she says she knows
she isn't going to get in trouble, I think she is just at that giggly stage)
and am successful most of the time, however even if she doesn't bang, she
still gets upset.
--
Amanda
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
http://365daysofsparkle.blogspot.com
My "Working Toward Pro" Photographs
www.hopescreations.com
http://choose2bgr8.deviantart.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Usually about halfway through the game she gets really down hearted if she
isn't in the lead. She is convinced that she isn't going to win. We can try
to explain that no one knows who is going to win and even talk to her about
the fact that many of the games that we play are based on chance.
What can I do to help her?
Oh, she does this with our board games at home (Cootie and Candyland are big
ones that she does it with) and even with online games as well. With the
online games she often gets upsets and starts banging things around. I do my
very best to get to her before the banging (generally speaking she doesn't
like me to sit next to her all the time. She hides the screen from me and
gets embarrassed. I have tried to understand this because she says she knows
she isn't going to get in trouble, I think she is just at that giggly stage)
and am successful most of the time, however even if she doesn't bang, she
still gets upset.
--
Amanda
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
http://365daysofsparkle.blogspot.com
My "Working Toward Pro" Photographs
www.hopescreations.com
http://choose2bgr8.deviantart.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-My oldest has a really hard time with playing board games and stuff.
-=-Usually about halfway through the game she gets really down
hearted if she
isn't in the lead. She is convinced that she isn't going to win. We
can try
to explain that no one knows who is going to win and even talk to her
about
the fact that many of the games that we play are based on chance.
-=-What can I do to help her?-=-
Don't play board games. Seriously.
Or play some games without keeping score, just for the fun of the
laughter and the activity. Apples to Apples. Encore (don't use the
game board). Thinking Sticks is play just for the sake of playing.
http://sandradodd.com/music (1/3 of the way down that page, but you
might find other things to play with on the way there)
http://sandradodd.com/thinkingsticks (though I really have to raise
the price of those very soon, because postage went up again and I had
already passed the cost of postage and materials)
-=-She hides the screen from me and gets embarrassed. I have tried to
understand this because she says she knows she isn't going to get in
trouble-=-
Kirby broke a few remote controls when he was little.
It kept him from playing, it made the other kids angry, we weren't
thrilled at needing to spend $20 or $30 to get the game operational
again (plus driving to the store at some point). In our family, that
was trouble. It wasn't punishment, but it was inconvenience and it
was clearly Kirby's inability to control his emotions and actions.
So what is "isn't going to get in trouble" in your case?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-Usually about halfway through the game she gets really down
hearted if she
isn't in the lead. She is convinced that she isn't going to win. We
can try
to explain that no one knows who is going to win and even talk to her
about
the fact that many of the games that we play are based on chance.
-=-What can I do to help her?-=-
Don't play board games. Seriously.
Or play some games without keeping score, just for the fun of the
laughter and the activity. Apples to Apples. Encore (don't use the
game board). Thinking Sticks is play just for the sake of playing.
http://sandradodd.com/music (1/3 of the way down that page, but you
might find other things to play with on the way there)
http://sandradodd.com/thinkingsticks (though I really have to raise
the price of those very soon, because postage went up again and I had
already passed the cost of postage and materials)
-=-She hides the screen from me and gets embarrassed. I have tried to
understand this because she says she knows she isn't going to get in
trouble-=-
Kirby broke a few remote controls when he was little.
It kept him from playing, it made the other kids angry, we weren't
thrilled at needing to spend $20 or $30 to get the game operational
again (plus driving to the store at some point). In our family, that
was trouble. It wasn't punishment, but it was inconvenience and it
was clearly Kirby's inability to control his emotions and actions.
So what is "isn't going to get in trouble" in your case?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Amanda Horein
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It kept him from playing, it made the other kids angry, we weren't
thrilled at needing to spend $20 or $30 to get the game operational
again (plus driving to the store at some point). In our family, that
was trouble. It wasn't punishment, but it was inconvenience and it
was clearly Kirby's inability to control his emotions and actions.
So what is "isn't going to get in trouble" in your case?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Oh, I meant she isn't going to get in trouble for what she is writing.
I am almost embarrassed to say this, but banging the mouse around will get
her removed, for a very short time, from the computer, until she calms down.
I usually go sit on the couch with her for a few minutes and she tells me
about what was frustrating her, so I don't know that it is exactly
punishment, but it might seem that way to her.
Here is why banging the mouse is a big deal in our house.
My husband and I are both artists and we have an expensive set up for our
mouse (which we use all the time). It's a Wacom tablet and looks like this
http://www.wacom.com/intuos/4x6.cfm It's not something we can afford for her
(or anyone) to break. We don't have laptops, so we cant put it on there. We
have 2 computers. It's on the dell (because it has to be), which is the
computer everyone loves to use because it is the better/faster of the two. I
hope I am making sense.
--
Amanda
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
http://365daysofsparkle.blogspot.com
My "Working Toward Pro" Photographs
www.hopescreations.com
http://choose2bgr8.deviantart.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It kept him from playing, it made the other kids angry, we weren't
thrilled at needing to spend $20 or $30 to get the game operational
again (plus driving to the store at some point). In our family, that
was trouble. It wasn't punishment, but it was inconvenience and it
was clearly Kirby's inability to control his emotions and actions.
So what is "isn't going to get in trouble" in your case?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Oh, I meant she isn't going to get in trouble for what she is writing.
I am almost embarrassed to say this, but banging the mouse around will get
her removed, for a very short time, from the computer, until she calms down.
I usually go sit on the couch with her for a few minutes and she tells me
about what was frustrating her, so I don't know that it is exactly
punishment, but it might seem that way to her.
Here is why banging the mouse is a big deal in our house.
My husband and I are both artists and we have an expensive set up for our
mouse (which we use all the time). It's a Wacom tablet and looks like this
http://www.wacom.com/intuos/4x6.cfm It's not something we can afford for her
(or anyone) to break. We don't have laptops, so we cant put it on there. We
have 2 computers. It's on the dell (because it has to be), which is the
computer everyone loves to use because it is the better/faster of the two. I
hope I am making sense.
--
Amanda
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
http://365daysofsparkle.blogspot.com
My "Working Toward Pro" Photographs
www.hopescreations.com
http://choose2bgr8.deviantart.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
--- In [email protected], "Amanda Horein" <horein@...> wrote:
"It's not something we can afford for her (or anyone) to break."
I really don't think that having some nice things that you don't want broken precludes you
from unschooling. <g>
I know a family that has multiple computers and won't allow their very very computer loving
daughter to touch them. Not because she has ever done anything but be gentle (one of the
most gentle children I've ever met), but because they fear that "something" may happen.
They will not even sit with her (she's 3) and do a program for her age because of the fear that
"something" may happen to their computers.
Your solution sounds respectful of your daughter and your boundaries. You do what you can
to set up the situation and then do the best you can. Ideally, you might manage to get her
her own computer that doesn't have such high stakes if something does go wrong.
Joanna
Sandra Dodd
-=-I am almost embarrassed to say this, but banging the mouse around
will get
her removed, for a very short time, from the computer, until she
calms down.-=-
I don't see what's embarrassing about that.
Can you get a cheaper, easier mouse and put that on while she's using
it?
This list is disconcerting me this week, seriously.
Saying yes to a child who wants to use a computer means finding a
mouse and a chair she can use, and some games she likes or
whatever. It does NOT mean letting her do whatever she wants to
with expensive equipment.
Somewhere people are getting some skewed/screwed unschooling
information, bringing it to this list, and asking people here to
explain or defend it.
Please try to be clear, anyone, when you say "if this is this...."
where you got the original idea, if you remember.
Thanks,
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
will get
her removed, for a very short time, from the computer, until she
calms down.-=-
I don't see what's embarrassing about that.
Can you get a cheaper, easier mouse and put that on while she's using
it?
This list is disconcerting me this week, seriously.
Saying yes to a child who wants to use a computer means finding a
mouse and a chair she can use, and some games she likes or
whatever. It does NOT mean letting her do whatever she wants to
with expensive equipment.
Somewhere people are getting some skewed/screwed unschooling
information, bringing it to this list, and asking people here to
explain or defend it.
Please try to be clear, anyone, when you say "if this is this...."
where you got the original idea, if you remember.
Thanks,
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]