Shopping/Money
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/8/01 11:47:18 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
establish or confirm your authority. I used to do that, like Sage would want
something and, only half listening, I'd say no. Then came a tantrum and when
I actually paid attention, and thought about it, I could really say yes. Then
comes the humbling part, to tell him that I'm sorry I wasn't really paying
attention and that it's ok with me. But I had to get over that, "I have to
make sure he doesn't just get his way all the time" thing.
And on destroying hope, I want to really avoid that. I remember very young
losing the hope of asking my parents for anything, at least anything big.
While they got the point across that I couldn't have everything I wanted all
the time, they also forgot to teach me that with enough time, planning, and
saving, I could get almost anything I wanted. I just had the idea that big
things were out of my reach.
My current problem is that 3yo son has just suddenly taken interest in the
larger dollar item stuff. Up until now I've been able to divert requests to
smaller dollar items in department stores and it's pretty much free reign at
goodwill. So I've never really taken the time to explain to him money issues.
But now he's really upset at my not buying him $30 toys at each trip.
So, I really like what Sandra said about maybe he's needing more time and
attention and less stuff. In fact I just recently rearranged his room and set
up some really cool stuff in there and we've really been spending a lot more
time in there, I think that's helping some.
But what about money? I've been thinking of starting an allowance for him,
but not sure how to go about it. I think it might help him to know/have some
control over when we can and can't get stuff. Instead of it just being sort
of a luck of the draw to him. I'm sure it seems like sometimes I say yes and
sometimes I say no, just because.
don't think it's fair to other people to have to sit thru a screaming tantrum
of a small child. On the other hand, it isn't fair to my son to tell him to
stuff it because he's disturbing others. I try to calm him, then move to a
bathroom, or sometimes we go outside. There have been times when we've gone
outside or to the car then returned to the store when things have calmed done.
I have not been upset when dining or shopping to hear another child/baby
start to cry or throw a tantrum. It's life. My problem is when it continues.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> <<In my opinion, I think it would be best, at this point, to absolutelyAnd it's important to make sure that you're not just standing your ground to
>
> refuse to buy the toy, or whatever it is, and stand your ground. >>
> I don't think that's better than "maybe later."
> Why insult a child and destroy hope?
establish or confirm your authority. I used to do that, like Sage would want
something and, only half listening, I'd say no. Then came a tantrum and when
I actually paid attention, and thought about it, I could really say yes. Then
comes the humbling part, to tell him that I'm sorry I wasn't really paying
attention and that it's ok with me. But I had to get over that, "I have to
make sure he doesn't just get his way all the time" thing.
And on destroying hope, I want to really avoid that. I remember very young
losing the hope of asking my parents for anything, at least anything big.
While they got the point across that I couldn't have everything I wanted all
the time, they also forgot to teach me that with enough time, planning, and
saving, I could get almost anything I wanted. I just had the idea that big
things were out of my reach.
My current problem is that 3yo son has just suddenly taken interest in the
larger dollar item stuff. Up until now I've been able to divert requests to
smaller dollar items in department stores and it's pretty much free reign at
goodwill. So I've never really taken the time to explain to him money issues.
But now he's really upset at my not buying him $30 toys at each trip.
So, I really like what Sandra said about maybe he's needing more time and
attention and less stuff. In fact I just recently rearranged his room and set
up some really cool stuff in there and we've really been spending a lot more
time in there, I think that's helping some.
But what about money? I've been thinking of starting an allowance for him,
but not sure how to go about it. I think it might help him to know/have some
control over when we can and can't get stuff. Instead of it just being sort
of a luck of the draw to him. I'm sure it seems like sometimes I say yes and
sometimes I say no, just because.
>I try to let my son's tantrum run its course AND be considerate of others. I
>
> << Let the tantrum take it's course and try and ignore the stares from
>
> strangers as much as possible. >>
>
> I think, when I'm in a store, that the other people have the particular
> right
> to shop in peace. I have read baffling advice from homeschooling moms (and
> some others) who are basically saying "to hell with other people; live
> your
> life with your child as though other people don't exist."
don't think it's fair to other people to have to sit thru a screaming tantrum
of a small child. On the other hand, it isn't fair to my son to tell him to
stuff it because he's disturbing others. I try to calm him, then move to a
bathroom, or sometimes we go outside. There have been times when we've gone
outside or to the car then returned to the store when things have calmed done.
I have not been upset when dining or shopping to hear another child/baby
start to cry or throw a tantrum. It's life. My problem is when it continues.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/8/2001 11:27:16 PM Pacific Standard Time,
spdrweb28@... writes:
disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair either.
A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not melt down
when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when he wants
it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control. Somewhere in
between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
--pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
spdrweb28@... writes:
> On the other hand, it isn't fair to my son to tell him toWell - I'm not sure about that. He ought to at least be made aware that it is
> stuff it because he's disturbing others.
disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair either.
A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not melt down
when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when he wants
it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control. Somewhere in
between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
--pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 2:58:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time,
PSoroosh@... writes:
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
PSoroosh@... writes:
> Well - I'm not sure about that. He ought to at least be made aware that itI agree. My son is 3.
> is
> disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair either.
> A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not melt down
> when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when he wants
> it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control. Somewhere in
> between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
>
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dan Vilter
> In a message dated 12/9/01 2:58:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time,I agree. My son is 12
> PSoroosh@... writes:
>
>
>> Well - I'm not sure about that. He ought to at least be made aware that it
>> is
>> disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair either.
>
>> A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not melt down
>> when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when he wants
>> it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control. Somewhere in
>> between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
>>
>
> I agree. My son is 3.
>
> Brenda
-Dan
Carol & Mac
I've been so busy over the last few days that I've just been deleting
without reading, but now I'm back, and though it's a bit cheeky jumping
into a conversation so far through, I feel I can't let this go:
Dan Vilter wrote:
expectation by age thing is totally against the concept of unschooling.
Your child *should* be able to read by age 6. *Should* be able to tie
shoe laces by age 3. *Should* be able to recite the names of all the
prime ministers / presidents in order by age ? *Should* have learned
self control by age 12.
Well, I'm 50yo and I've still only learned 2 out of 4 - and quite often
my laces don't stay tied for long either so I guess that takes me down
to 1 1/2 out of 4.
Yes, I agree that a parent should help a child come to the understanding
that his behaviour is distrubing others, but please don't lay the
'should expectations' on a child simply because of his age. There's a
lot more to all of us than our ages, and a lot more important things.
Carol
who has 4 boys and thus assumes all children are 'hims' so sorry if
anyone is offended by my use of masculine pronowns!
without reading, but now I'm back, and though it's a bit cheeky jumping
into a conversation so far through, I feel I can't let this go:
Dan Vilter wrote:
> > In a message dated 12/9/01 2:58:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time,Sorry guys, though I understand what you are saying, I fel that this
> > PSoroosh@... writes:
> >
> >
> >> Well - I'm not sure about that. He ought to at least be made aware
> that it
> >> is
> >> disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair
> either.
> >
> >> A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not
> melt down
> >> when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when
> he wants
> >> it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control.
> Somewhere in
> >> between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
> >>
> >
> > I agree. My son is 3.
> >
> > Brenda
>
>
> I agree. My son is 12
>
> -Dan
expectation by age thing is totally against the concept of unschooling.
Your child *should* be able to read by age 6. *Should* be able to tie
shoe laces by age 3. *Should* be able to recite the names of all the
prime ministers / presidents in order by age ? *Should* have learned
self control by age 12.
Well, I'm 50yo and I've still only learned 2 out of 4 - and quite often
my laces don't stay tied for long either so I guess that takes me down
to 1 1/2 out of 4.
Yes, I agree that a parent should help a child come to the understanding
that his behaviour is distrubing others, but please don't lay the
'should expectations' on a child simply because of his age. There's a
lot more to all of us than our ages, and a lot more important things.
Carol
who has 4 boys and thus assumes all children are 'hims' so sorry if
anyone is offended by my use of masculine pronowns!
Dan Vilter
Carol,
I think we are on the same page.
I'm agreeing to helping the child become aware of the world around them.
This help *probably* ought to happen somewhere *between* 2 and 12.
I'm not sure where all the *shoulds* came from.
The expectation that a person starts to become aware of the society around
them between toddling and puberty does not seem to me, the strict age based
bias you are worried about.
When overly concerned friends, relatives and strangers were asking when our
3 year old son was going to stop nursing I would reply straight faced with
"before the prom." This was an expectation on my part. But never once did
it become a age based *should* for us.
-Dan Vilter
I think we are on the same page.
I'm agreeing to helping the child become aware of the world around them.
This help *probably* ought to happen somewhere *between* 2 and 12.
I'm not sure where all the *shoulds* came from.
The expectation that a person starts to become aware of the society around
them between toddling and puberty does not seem to me, the strict age based
bias you are worried about.
When overly concerned friends, relatives and strangers were asking when our
3 year old son was going to stop nursing I would reply straight faced with
"before the prom." This was an expectation on my part. But never once did
it become a age based *should* for us.
-Dan Vilter
> I've been so busy over the last few days that I've just been deleting
> without reading, but now I'm back, and though it's a bit cheeky jumping
> into a conversation so far through, I feel I can't let this go:
>
> Dan Vilter wrote:
>
>>> In a message dated 12/9/01 2:58:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time,
>>> PSoroosh@... writes:
>>>
>>>
>>>> Well - I'm not sure about that. He ought to at least be made aware
>> that it
>>>> is
>>>> disturbing others - not helping him gain that awareness isn't fair
>> either.
>>>
>>>> A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not
>> melt down
>>>> when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when
>> he wants
>>>> it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control.
>> Somewhere in
>>>> between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
>>>>
>>>
>>> I agree. My son is 3.
>>>
>>> Brenda
>>
>>
>> I agree. My son is 12
>>
>> -Dan
>
> Sorry guys, though I understand what you are saying, I fel that this
> expectation by age thing is totally against the concept of unschooling.
> Your child *should* be able to read by age 6. *Should* be able to tie
> shoe laces by age 3. *Should* be able to recite the names of all the
> prime ministers / presidents in order by age ? *Should* have learned
> self control by age 12.
>
> Well, I'm 50yo and I've still only learned 2 out of 4 - and quite often
> my laces don't stay tied for long either so I guess that takes me down
> to 1 1/2 out of 4.
>
> Yes, I agree that a parent should help a child come to the understanding
> that his behaviour is distrubing others, but please don't lay the
> 'should expectations' on a child simply because of his age. There's a
> lot more to all of us than our ages, and a lot more important things.
>
> Carol
> who has 4 boys and thus assumes all children are 'hims' so sorry if
> anyone is offended by my use of masculine pronowns!
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 11:53:33 AM, mjcmbrwn@... writes:
<< Yes, I agree that a parent should help a child come to the understanding
that his behaviour is distrubing others, >>
I think the amalgamated point (you might have deleted some?) was that at some
point between three and twelve (or between any age and any other later age) a
child develops more awareness, and while a parent shouldn't expect a three
year old to understand consideration for others, that if a parent treats a
twelve year old like a three year old it's a disservice to someone who IS
getting older.
Some three year olds are more considerate than some twelve year olds. That
doesn't change the fact that in the life of any one individual child the
messages from parents should ideally get more refined and detailed over the
years.
I think that was the rolled-altogether, point, so I think Carol was mostly in
agreement.
I understand the quibble, though. I think it bothers me as much when people
want to get all excited that one of my kids is ahead of their
schedule/checklist as it does when they're giving me "the look" because they
perceive one of mine to be "behind."
Sandra
<< Yes, I agree that a parent should help a child come to the understanding
that his behaviour is distrubing others, >>
I think the amalgamated point (you might have deleted some?) was that at some
point between three and twelve (or between any age and any other later age) a
child develops more awareness, and while a parent shouldn't expect a three
year old to understand consideration for others, that if a parent treats a
twelve year old like a three year old it's a disservice to someone who IS
getting older.
Some three year olds are more considerate than some twelve year olds. That
doesn't change the fact that in the life of any one individual child the
messages from parents should ideally get more refined and detailed over the
years.
I think that was the rolled-altogether, point, so I think Carol was mostly in
agreement.
I understand the quibble, though. I think it bothers me as much when people
want to get all excited that one of my kids is ahead of their
schedule/checklist as it does when they're giving me "the look" because they
perceive one of mine to be "behind."
Sandra
Jennifer Deets
Brenda wrote:
I've been thinking of starting an allowance for him,
but not sure how to go about it.
*****
Setting up an allowances was something we had talked about earlier this year. Not for the store outbursts, but for general good measure -- so they can practice real choice-making that we can afford -- and so that they can see their money accumulate and disappear.
One hint I read was to offer a weekly amount (a month can be interminable for me :)). Say two dollars (or more, but with three kids and what I'll share below, this can add up quickly). In order to illustrate the power of saving and to show that shopping is not the same as buying, the parent can stipulate that whatever is left at the end of a week will be doubled (I'd like that interest rate!). So if nothing is spent in a month, the child has a total of $16.
My brother added that to help the kids begin to think about the long-term, an additional monthly "dividend" could be added as well as a yearly "bonus."
Money is a tremendous source of frustration for me. We work had for our income and I want the kids to learn that willingness and ability to work hard, so I am trying to figure out how to deal with the allowance itself. How much money? I'm thinking there should be a set base amount (even if it's only 50 cents a week) they get just because they are in our family and are unable to get money any other way. This small sum would permit them not to have to feel the extent of my money-spending power all the time -- they would not be completely dependent upon me (except for getting them to the stores :)).
The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs....
Thanks,
Jennifer
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I've been thinking of starting an allowance for him,
but not sure how to go about it.
*****
Setting up an allowances was something we had talked about earlier this year. Not for the store outbursts, but for general good measure -- so they can practice real choice-making that we can afford -- and so that they can see their money accumulate and disappear.
One hint I read was to offer a weekly amount (a month can be interminable for me :)). Say two dollars (or more, but with three kids and what I'll share below, this can add up quickly). In order to illustrate the power of saving and to show that shopping is not the same as buying, the parent can stipulate that whatever is left at the end of a week will be doubled (I'd like that interest rate!). So if nothing is spent in a month, the child has a total of $16.
My brother added that to help the kids begin to think about the long-term, an additional monthly "dividend" could be added as well as a yearly "bonus."
Money is a tremendous source of frustration for me. We work had for our income and I want the kids to learn that willingness and ability to work hard, so I am trying to figure out how to deal with the allowance itself. How much money? I'm thinking there should be a set base amount (even if it's only 50 cents a week) they get just because they are in our family and are unable to get money any other way. This small sum would permit them not to have to feel the extent of my money-spending power all the time -- they would not be completely dependent upon me (except for getting them to the stores :)).
The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs....
Thanks,
Jennifer
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 2:55:07 PM, jdeets@... writes:
<< the parent can stipulate that whatever is left at the end of a week will
be doubled (I'd like that interest rate!). So if nothing is spent in a month,
the child has a total of $16. >>
We've done that a couple of times. Once for Disneyland. Whatever they saved
in advance, we'd double.
Our kids get 75 cents per year of age. Holly's ten, and so getting $7.50 a
week. Marty gets $9.00 and Kirby gets $11.25. It's a big outlay. But
they're generous with it and they're scrupulously honest with money. If I
give them money for lunch they bring me back change to the penny (even if I
don't request it) and they're cool about sharing with others.
Sandra
<< the parent can stipulate that whatever is left at the end of a week will
be doubled (I'd like that interest rate!). So if nothing is spent in a month,
the child has a total of $16. >>
We've done that a couple of times. Once for Disneyland. Whatever they saved
in advance, we'd double.
Our kids get 75 cents per year of age. Holly's ten, and so getting $7.50 a
week. Marty gets $9.00 and Kirby gets $11.25. It's a big outlay. But
they're generous with it and they're scrupulously honest with money. If I
give them money for lunch they bring me back change to the penny (even if I
don't request it) and they're cool about sharing with others.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 4:55:07 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
jdeets@... writes:
anything my son wants is totally my decision, even if he generally gets it.
So I want my son to have more independence in that area. I guess I'll just
start with a small amount per week and see where that takes us.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jdeets@... writes:
> I'm thinking there should be a set base amount (even if it's only 50 cents aJennifer, thanks for sharing your ideas. I agree with this. Up til now
> week) they get just because they are in our family and are unable to get
> money any other way. This small sum would permit them not to have to feel
> the extent of my money-spending power all the time --
anything my son wants is totally my decision, even if he generally gets it.
So I want my son to have more independence in that area. I guess I'll just
start with a small amount per week and see where that takes us.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 5:33:35 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
allowance? Do they ever request an increase or are they ever offered stuff to
earn more?
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Our kids get 75 cents per year of age. Holly's ten, and so getting $7.50 aSo, if you don't mind my asking, how early did they start receiving
> week. Marty gets $9.00 and Kirby gets $11.25. It's a big outlay. But
> they're generous with it and they're scrupulously honest with money. If I
> give them money for lunch they bring me back change to the penny (even if I
> don't request it) and they're cool about sharing with others.
>
> Sandra
allowance? Do they ever request an increase or are they ever offered stuff to
earn more?
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>My parents always doubled whatever we had saved for buying Christmas
><< the parent can stipulate that whatever is left at the end of a week will
>be doubled (I'd like that interest rate!). So if nothing is spent in a month,
>the child has a total of $16. >>
>
>We've done that a couple of times. Once for Disneyland. Whatever they saved
>in advance, we'd double.
presents by a certain date. I'm not sure why I never did that with my
kids. I guess I was focussed on helping them to make gifts.
>Our kids get 75 cents per year of age. Holly's ten, and so getting $7.50 aWow! At 14, Lars only gets $5, and that's in Canadian dollars. But then
>week. Marty gets $9.00 and Kirby gets $11.25.
he's been earning his own money for years now, mowing lawns, delivering
papers and flyers, etc. Then he started working for his dad and makes
adult wages. He recently worked for 3 weeks making $20/hour. I'll still
give him his allowance if he asks, but I won't pay "back wages" if he
forgets to ask. He's got way more disposable income than I do. <g> He
just finished paying off a $3700 bike!
He's *very* good with money so far.
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
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Nancy Wooton
on 12/8/01 11:52 PM, PSoroosh@... at PSoroosh@... wrote:
Nancy
> A 12 yo probably ought to have learned enough self-control to not melt downI'm having flashbacks of Dudley Dursley.... <g>
> when it happens that you don't agree to buy him what he wants when he wants
> it. A 2 yo isn't really capable of that kind of self-control. Somewhere in
> between there is a time when we typically start expecting it of them.
Nancy
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 3:54:58 PM, jdeets@... writes:
<< The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if
they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular
keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there
are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs....
cleaning windows, washing the blinds, etc. It's worth it to me. They also get
a monthly allowance. I did think weekly was better, but they liked the sound
of the bigger sum <gg>.
Paula
<< The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if
they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular
keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there
are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs....
>>I am willing to pay my kids for tasks that I don't want to do myself -
cleaning windows, washing the blinds, etc. It's worth it to me. They also get
a monthly allowance. I did think weekly was better, but they liked the sound
of the bigger sum <gg>.
Paula
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 5:58:35 PM, spdrweb28@... writes:
<< how early did they start receiving
allowance? Do they ever request an increase or are they ever offered stuff to
earn more? >>
At five. They all started at once (the boys) when they were five and seven,
and so Holly got in on it when she was five. (Holly reminded me of this.)
It's not something we thought up from birth at all. It just happened that
way. And they get allowance on Sundays. That's because we first did it on a
Sunday. <g>
Some parts of other people's plans just shouldn't be emulated. <bwg> **
We thought of going to Saturdays but decided it's so much easier to spend
money on a Saturday that if they got it Sunday they could more easily plan
ahead for something during the week.
We had read about another family that did dollar per year per week (six year
old gets $6 a week) but we couldn't afford it, so we did the 75% thing.
Marty's great at stashing and saving. Kirby asks us to keep it until it
builds up. Holly keeps hers too.
They usually get money from relatives on birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes
I'll pay Marty to do something yucky or to stay with Holly if I know he needs
money for something.
Kirby has a job at minimum wage plus first obligatory raise. He spends most
of it on anime books (I forget the Japanese word for cartoon books based on
animated series) and gaming cards. He also takes friends out to eat. He
bought one of his friends a $30 toy (birthday gift)--an 18" wide dragon
figure of some fantasy character. They were both really happy with the whole
situation.
**
My favorite story about how traditions get started:
It was Christmas and Dad was carving the Christmas ham. The curiosity of the
youngest raised a question: "Mom," she asked, "why do you cut the ends off of
the Christmas ham?" "An easy question," thought Mom. "Ah, because that's the
way my mother did it," she answered with a smile.
Grandma was sitting at the table and she was asked, "Grandma, why did you cut
the ends off your Christmas ham?" Grandma answered with a smile, "Because
that's the way my mother did it."
Great Grandma was sitting in her place. "Great Grandma," she was asked, "why
did you cut the ends off your Christmas ham?" She couldn't believe somebody
was talking to her. She looked around the table. All eyes were on her. "Huh?"
she said. "Great Grandma, why did you cut the ends off your Christmas ham?"
She stared off into the distance, looking back into the past. Slowly smiling,
she said, "Well, the reason I cut the ends off my Christmas ham was because
the ham was always too big to fit into my baking pan. I had to cut the ends
off so the ham could fit into my pan and then could fit into my oven."
Sandra
<< how early did they start receiving
allowance? Do they ever request an increase or are they ever offered stuff to
earn more? >>
At five. They all started at once (the boys) when they were five and seven,
and so Holly got in on it when she was five. (Holly reminded me of this.)
It's not something we thought up from birth at all. It just happened that
way. And they get allowance on Sundays. That's because we first did it on a
Sunday. <g>
Some parts of other people's plans just shouldn't be emulated. <bwg> **
We thought of going to Saturdays but decided it's so much easier to spend
money on a Saturday that if they got it Sunday they could more easily plan
ahead for something during the week.
We had read about another family that did dollar per year per week (six year
old gets $6 a week) but we couldn't afford it, so we did the 75% thing.
Marty's great at stashing and saving. Kirby asks us to keep it until it
builds up. Holly keeps hers too.
They usually get money from relatives on birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes
I'll pay Marty to do something yucky or to stay with Holly if I know he needs
money for something.
Kirby has a job at minimum wage plus first obligatory raise. He spends most
of it on anime books (I forget the Japanese word for cartoon books based on
animated series) and gaming cards. He also takes friends out to eat. He
bought one of his friends a $30 toy (birthday gift)--an 18" wide dragon
figure of some fantasy character. They were both really happy with the whole
situation.
**
My favorite story about how traditions get started:
It was Christmas and Dad was carving the Christmas ham. The curiosity of the
youngest raised a question: "Mom," she asked, "why do you cut the ends off of
the Christmas ham?" "An easy question," thought Mom. "Ah, because that's the
way my mother did it," she answered with a smile.
Grandma was sitting at the table and she was asked, "Grandma, why did you cut
the ends off your Christmas ham?" Grandma answered with a smile, "Because
that's the way my mother did it."
Great Grandma was sitting in her place. "Great Grandma," she was asked, "why
did you cut the ends off your Christmas ham?" She couldn't believe somebody
was talking to her. She looked around the table. All eyes were on her. "Huh?"
she said. "Great Grandma, why did you cut the ends off your Christmas ham?"
She stared off into the distance, looking back into the past. Slowly smiling,
she said, "Well, the reason I cut the ends off my Christmas ham was because
the ham was always too big to fit into my baking pan. I had to cut the ends
off so the ham could fit into my pan and then could fit into my oven."
Sandra
[email protected]
We tried the allowance thing at one point, but we all would forget to do it,
including Julian. Or we'd forget to get cash. We'd end up owing him lots of
money, and just felt guilty. So we all agreed to stop the charade. LOL
For most stuff, most of the time, if Julian wants something and we can afford
it, we just buy it. When we're out, I've gotten in the habit of asking him if
there's anything he wants or needs before we leave. Most of the time he says
no.He doesn't ask for stuff much (maybe because he knows it's an option?), so
when he asks, it's something he REALLY wants. If it's a bigger thing, we
might ask him to wait until Christmas or a birthday (Or Julian Day, another
story). Or sometimes things come together and it just works out to get it
for him.
He's gotten really good at shopping critically. There was a magazine with
Computer game codes he was interested in at one point for eight bucks. I
told him I could probably get all the codes online, and asked if he wanted to
buy it, or try that first. He decided the latter, and was happy we didn't
spend the money.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
including Julian. Or we'd forget to get cash. We'd end up owing him lots of
money, and just felt guilty. So we all agreed to stop the charade. LOL
For most stuff, most of the time, if Julian wants something and we can afford
it, we just buy it. When we're out, I've gotten in the habit of asking him if
there's anything he wants or needs before we leave. Most of the time he says
no.He doesn't ask for stuff much (maybe because he knows it's an option?), so
when he asks, it's something he REALLY wants. If it's a bigger thing, we
might ask him to wait until Christmas or a birthday (Or Julian Day, another
story). Or sometimes things come together and it just works out to get it
for him.
He's gotten really good at shopping critically. There was a magazine with
Computer game codes he was interested in at one point for eight bucks. I
told him I could probably get all the codes online, and asked if he wanted to
buy it, or try that first. He decided the latter, and was happy we didn't
spend the money.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
If it's a bigger thing, we
Elissa
>might ask him to wait until Christmas or a birthday (Or Julian Day, anotherOK, Let's hear it!
>story).
Elissa
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/9/01 1:55:14 PM Pacific Standard Time,
jdeets@... writes:
<< I'm thinking there should be a set base amount (even if it's only 50
cents a week) they get just because they are in our family and are unable to
get money any other way. >>>>
In our family, my children (eldest dd) have come up with ideas for making her
own money. She doesn't ask for money or ask to work for me to make money.
I think it started out that she just liked the idea of selling something and
making money, not that she really had a want or need for it, just the idea
of a "sale". So we picked avocadoes and she sold them when she was
6. She made a fortune. Next year our friend, and avocado rancher told
us to come pick his so we did, and the kids almost tripled their income.
Obviously this is a little niche the children have found, they have the right
product (plus its FREE) and a good location.
<<<This small sum would permit them not to have to feel the extent of my
money-spending power all the time -- they would not be completely dependent
upon me (except for getting them to the stores :)). >>>>>>
I am finding this allowance talk informative. I like what you have said here.
We don't give an allowance and I
really hadn't planned on it. The way I was raised, I didn't get
one but I seldom seemed to want for anything either. Mom paid for the show,
or whatever. We did garage sales and I always got stuff. With
the kids it seems to be the same way. Plus their dad leaves tons of change
around which sometimes they ask if they can have. If it falls from the
dresser
or counter, its goes to whomever finds it LOL. I thought for a long time that
this was the best way, letting them come up with ways to earn money
(but not making it too hard by letting them have the change, plus Grandma
money etc). but I do sometimes like the ideas discussed with allowances.
They opened savings accounts from their last sale and frankly I think
they have forgotten about the money.
I have to share the cutest story today. We were at a Stationary store and
the kids were off shopping on their own, each carrying his/her wallet. I
was on one end they on the other with calling back and forth mom? how
much is this, I would go check or have them bring it to me. Half way thru
my shopping expedition my littlest who is 4 comes up to me telling me
he wants to buy this pencil. So I let him know how much it is as he gets
in line. I stand back a ways. He asks me to hold his balloon and I say
no you better pay for it first. He tells me he already payed for it. He was
just so cute to see standing in line like he knew his business and paying
for his stuff and he really didn't need me at all! When I had been in another
part of the store he had gotten in line and already paid for the balloon!
<<The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if
they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular
keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there
are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs.... >>
My dd has a book on ideas for kids to make money. Something I think would
be really cool for a kid to do is to sell outgrown toys, games etc. on ebay.
My
dd wanted a new American Girl doll, so she sold her old one on ebay for almost
as much as we paid for it and purchased a new one. I think she only had
to pay a difference of about $6 and I picked up the difference for her anyhow,
plus I hate to have her pay for shipping so I paid for that also. Sometimes I
think I'm not teaching her about money when I don't have her pay for those
Shipping etc. but she has little and I have more and I like to share.
Kathy
jdeets@... writes:
<< I'm thinking there should be a set base amount (even if it's only 50
cents a week) they get just because they are in our family and are unable to
get money any other way. >>>>
In our family, my children (eldest dd) have come up with ideas for making her
own money. She doesn't ask for money or ask to work for me to make money.
I think it started out that she just liked the idea of selling something and
making money, not that she really had a want or need for it, just the idea
of a "sale". So we picked avocadoes and she sold them when she was
6. She made a fortune. Next year our friend, and avocado rancher told
us to come pick his so we did, and the kids almost tripled their income.
Obviously this is a little niche the children have found, they have the right
product (plus its FREE) and a good location.
<<<This small sum would permit them not to have to feel the extent of my
money-spending power all the time -- they would not be completely dependent
upon me (except for getting them to the stores :)). >>>>>>
I am finding this allowance talk informative. I like what you have said here.
We don't give an allowance and I
really hadn't planned on it. The way I was raised, I didn't get
one but I seldom seemed to want for anything either. Mom paid for the show,
or whatever. We did garage sales and I always got stuff. With
the kids it seems to be the same way. Plus their dad leaves tons of change
around which sometimes they ask if they can have. If it falls from the
dresser
or counter, its goes to whomever finds it LOL. I thought for a long time that
this was the best way, letting them come up with ways to earn money
(but not making it too hard by letting them have the change, plus Grandma
money etc). but I do sometimes like the ideas discussed with allowances.
They opened savings accounts from their last sale and frankly I think
they have forgotten about the money.
I have to share the cutest story today. We were at a Stationary store and
the kids were off shopping on their own, each carrying his/her wallet. I
was on one end they on the other with calling back and forth mom? how
much is this, I would go check or have them bring it to me. Half way thru
my shopping expedition my littlest who is 4 comes up to me telling me
he wants to buy this pencil. So I let him know how much it is as he gets
in line. I stand back a ways. He asks me to hold his balloon and I say
no you better pay for it first. He tells me he already payed for it. He was
just so cute to see standing in line like he knew his business and paying
for his stuff and he really didn't need me at all! When I had been in another
part of the store he had gotten in line and already paid for the balloon!
<<The other part is can they do things to add to their regular amount if
they want to get something special? I am loathe to make regular
keep-the-house-running-smoothly tasks up for financial grabs, but maybe there
are other things they could do to be entrepreneurs.... >>
My dd has a book on ideas for kids to make money. Something I think would
be really cool for a kid to do is to sell outgrown toys, games etc. on ebay.
My
dd wanted a new American Girl doll, so she sold her old one on ebay for almost
as much as we paid for it and purchased a new one. I think she only had
to pay a difference of about $6 and I picked up the difference for her anyhow,
plus I hate to have her pay for shipping so I paid for that also. Sometimes I
think I'm not teaching her about money when I don't have her pay for those
Shipping etc. but she has little and I have more and I like to share.
Kathy
meghan anderson
<<<<My dd wanted a new American Girl doll, so she sold
her old one on ebay for almost as much as we paid for
it and purchased a new one.
Kathy>>>>
My dd also wants a new American Girl doll - to be
friends with the one she already has! LOL! Mind you
she's doll obsessed! It's a great connection to her
Mamaw (my mother), because my mom is obsessed with
buying her American Girl stuff for her to 'collect' -
yeah right.
By the way, my dd called me mummy (we recently moved
here from the UK) until a few months ago. Now I'm
'mum' because "Mummy is too babyish". Where does she
GET this stuff? Not that I mind what my title is, as
long as I still get lots of cuddles <g>.
Meghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com
or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com
her old one on ebay for almost as much as we paid for
it and purchased a new one.
Kathy>>>>
My dd also wants a new American Girl doll - to be
friends with the one she already has! LOL! Mind you
she's doll obsessed! It's a great connection to her
Mamaw (my mother), because my mom is obsessed with
buying her American Girl stuff for her to 'collect' -
yeah right.
By the way, my dd called me mummy (we recently moved
here from the UK) until a few months ago. Now I'm
'mum' because "Mummy is too babyish". Where does she
GET this stuff? Not that I mind what my title is, as
long as I still get lots of cuddles <g>.
Meghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com
or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/12/01 1:39:18 AM Pacific Standard Time,
moonmeghan@... writes:
<<
My dd also wants a new American Girl doll - to be
friends with the one she already has! LOL! Mind you
she's doll obsessed! It's a great connection to her
Mamaw (my mother), because my mom is obsessed with
buying her American Girl stuff for her to 'collect' -
yeah right. >>
I think my dd would have liked to have kept the other
doll! Get her a knock-off doll from Target as a friend LOL
I think they are $20. My dd and all her friends play
AG, in fact, none of her hs friends play Barbie and so
she never touches those anymore. Its all AG!
kathy
moonmeghan@... writes:
<<
My dd also wants a new American Girl doll - to be
friends with the one she already has! LOL! Mind you
she's doll obsessed! It's a great connection to her
Mamaw (my mother), because my mom is obsessed with
buying her American Girl stuff for her to 'collect' -
yeah right. >>
I think my dd would have liked to have kept the other
doll! Get her a knock-off doll from Target as a friend LOL
I think they are $20. My dd and all her friends play
AG, in fact, none of her hs friends play Barbie and so
she never touches those anymore. Its all AG!
kathy