carnationsgalore

I always wanted to be the cool mom when thinking about my
relationship with my kids but I never really thought about
relationships with their friends. Claire is having some problems
with her boyfriend of 6 months and they both asked me to sit and
talk with them about it. I felt honored that they would trust me so
much to let me in like that. I hope I helped. I tried to stay
objective and tried to just repeat what they said. In other words,
I was helping them communicate, a skill I didn't learn until my
30s.

Afterwards, I was taking Sebastian (her boyfriend) home. Claire
stayed home because her head was hurting and she wanted to go to
bed. That gave Sebastian and I a chance to talk alone. He told me
it felt both weird and good to be able to talk to me and trust me.
He said he was going to be sad if he and Claire broke up because
he'd miss our family. As I was driving home, I thought back on
talks he and I had. He tells me about his difficulties with his
parents, their expectations, his progress in school, his hopes and
dreams for when he gets out of school. It never occurred to me
until tonight that I might be the only adult in his life who listens
to him and doesn't have a preset of expectations for him. And then
I thought about some of her other friends who have trusted me enough
to talk with me. It just made me really thankful for the awesome,
trusting relationship I have with my kids. I wish the parents of
these other kids could have that same type of relationship with
their children.

Beth M.