Lara Miller

What a strange experience we had today at the pool. I haven't had a
chance to sit down and right about it until now. We went to the Y to
go swimming. Earlier this morning, we knew that's what we all wanted
to do this afternoon. I looked up the Y's schedule and noticed that
there was a "homeschool" time around the same time we were going to
be there and I thought, "cool, maybe we can find some kids to play
with". Well we got there about 45 minutes before the homeschoolers
"PE" (that is what is was listed as) was about to start and just
played and swam and played and swam. At the appointed time, all of
the sudden, there were 40-50 kids marched into the pool by a couple
of Y employees barking out orders at them. The kids seemed to range
in age from about 5-10 years old. My kids got a little scared of all
of the commotion and went and got in the kiddie pool to play around.
Everytime one of the lifeguards yelled out, my kids jumped. They
were yelling things like, "sit down on the white line, I said sit
down, you may not get up yet" "you have to have your hand marked if
you haven't taken the swimming test" "If you wipe the mark off your
hand then you will just have to wear a float belt". This went on for
30 minutes! After they had barked out all of the rules once again to
all of the kids, they were allowed to get in. Now I had been waiting
for this moment. I couldn't wait to see what kinds of neat things
they did with the kids for "homeschooling PE". Nothing, that is what
they did. The kids just swam and played like any kids swim and play
in a pool. My kids were a bit overwhelmed and I think were afraid of
getting into trouble with the barking lifeguards, who up until this
point had been really nice. I was happy for them to be doing
whatever they wanted to do which was play in the kiddie pool, so I
just sat and observed the lifeguards, the children and their
interactions with each other.

At one point, 20 minutes after they had been in the water, a whistle
was blown and they all got out. First thing I thought was "that's
it???" But they all had to rush out and come and sit on the white
line again and line up with their buddy. They were reprimanded for
it taking them so long to get out and on the white line. "we will do
this one more time and if you aren't all out in 1 minute and on the
white line with a buddy, then we will do a buddy check every five
minutes until you can get it right!" And then they were all allowed
back in the water to play. This of course was simply a threat
because they never once called them out again until the end. So for
a 90 minute PE, they spent 30 minutes in the beginning getting
organized and barked at then only 45 minutes swimming (with buddy
checks) and 15 minutes getting out and organized to leave and barked
at about there not being time today for showers and they better hurry
up and get dressed and no playing around.

And the really interesting thing???? I never saw another parent!
Witnessing the whole thing was just very strange for me and I think
for my kids too. As soon as all those kids were gone, mine just
jumped right back in the big pool and started swimming there.

I went back in my journal and found an entry I made after a similar
pool experience this last fall:

"We are at a very crowded YMCA pool tonight. It is full of working
parents trying to cram in the kids' swimming lesson into today's to-
do list. You know when my kids learned to swim? When I stopped taking
them to swimming lessons. We just spent almost everyday one summer
letting them, allowing them, to explore their bodies and abilities at
the pool. Like any good mother, I had them in the water and in
swimming lessons before they were even walking. I myself used to even
teach swimming lessons. I spun my kids in circles and sand silly
songs much like the weary-eyed parents here tonight. Now that I have
some objectivity, I sit here and think "do they realize how silly
what they are doing is?" Do we need to pay money and be on a class
schedule in order to play with our kids in the pool? Swimming comes
naturally to kids when they are exposed to it in a way that doesn't
induce fear. I have a vivid childhood memory of being with my crying
brother while he was left in a swimming lesson. My mom was told that
the kids do better when the parents leave. But why the need for
structured learning of something that comes so naturally? I didn't
have to sign my kids up for crawling classes or walking classes.
Don't get me wrong; I think kids should be in the water young and
often. From my own teaching experience, it can be very difficult to
teach an afraid adult to swim. So I guess my question is, why do we,
as parents, have this need for swimming lessons? Because it is our
need. The kid's don't want it. They just need lots of time in the
water. Is it our need for accomplishment or the illusion of it
through classes ("Johnny has just moved up to Minnow")? Do we do it
because it is what we are "supposed" to be doing with out kids. All I
know for sure is that my kids are all swimming like fish tonight,
lost in their imaginary world of mermaids and mer-men, while at the
other end of the pool some small child may be thinking, "why is my
mom singing that stupid song and when will I be able to just play?"
And the mom might be thinking, "why am I singing this stupid song and
when will we ever get a minute in our hectic schedules to just play?"

Blessings,

Lara Miller
Currently near Boulder, CO!
http://www.mytripjournal.com/millerfamily






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janellewrock

Well, I think I started with swim lessons because I wanted my
daughter to learn to swim as soon as possible so we could just get in
the pool and swim in the summer time and she'd know how to do it and
have swimming behind her. A friend told me about a school where all
her kids learned how to swim in three weeks.

Generally, I thought they did pretty well with the kids. However, my
daughter did cry a lot about going under water. The teacher she
changed to after the first session (the first three weeks)is kind of
a "firm disciplinarian." My daughter actually did better after a
while but still cried at times. After a day of quite a bit of crying
and after I'd been learning about unschooling for a while, I started
asking her if she liked swim lessons and wanted to go. She kept
saying yes. I took her back. For a while after that, she didn't cry
at all and was very heppy through lessons. Many sessions later, she
still doesn't know how to swim yet.

After a particularly rough day, she was crying a lot. She had
switched teachers during the second half. The teacher got annoyed by
the crying and said something to her regular teacher. My daughter
climbed out of the pool and was sobbing. I went to pick her up, and
her regular teacher came over and said, "Stop crying!" I was just
about to leave with her and didn't see any need for that. As soon as
I picked her up, she calmed down. I started asking her again if she
wanted lessons. I told her I didn't like them telling her to stop
crying, and I thought it was mean. I asked her before her next lesson
if she wanted to go. She said no. The next lesson she said yes and
then no. I told her we could go swim at her aunt's house, and she
wanted to do that.

As we played together in the water, she was ecstatic. She only cried
when it was time to get out. She didn't want to stop. I was euphoric
seeing her joy as she played and clung to me in the water as much as
she wanted. I felt such a burden lifted from my shoulders. I called
the swim school to tell them we weren't coming for lessons any more.

Thanks to unschooling!!

Janelle


> "We are at a very crowded YMCA pool tonight. It is full of working
> parents trying to cram in the kids' swimming lesson into today's to-

> do list. You know when my kids learned to swim? When I stopped
taking
> them to swimming lessons. Like any good mother, I had them in the
water and in
> swimming lessons before they were even walking. I myself used to
even
> teach swimming lessons. I spun my kids in circles and sand silly
> songs much like the weary-eyed parents here tonight. Now that I
have
> some objectivity, I sit here and think "do they realize how silly
> what they are doing is?" Do we need to pay money and be on a class
> schedule in order to play with our kids in the pool? Swimming
comes
> naturally to kids when they are exposed to it in a way that
doesn't
> induce fear. I have a vivid childhood memory of being with my
crying
> brother while he was left in a swimming lesson. My mom was told
that
> the kids do better when the parents leave. But why the need for
> structured learning of something that comes so naturally? I didn't
> have to sign my kids up for crawling classes or walking classes.
> Don't get me wrong; I think kids should be in the water young and
> often. From my own teaching experience, it can be very difficult
to
> teach an afraid adult to swim. So I guess my question is, why do
we,
> as parents, have this need for swimming lessons? Because it is our
> need. The kid's don't want it. They just need lots of time in the
> water. Is it our need for accomplishment or the illusion of it
> through classes ("Johnny has just moved up to Minnow")? > other end
of the pool some small child may be thinking, "why is my
> mom singing that stupid song and when will I be able to just
play?"
> And the mom might be thinking, "why am I singing this stupid song
and
> when will we ever get a minute in our hectic schedules to just
play?"
>
> Blessings,
>
> Lara Miller
> Currently near Boulder, CO!
> http://www.mytripjournal.com/millerfamily
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-As we played together in the water, she was ecstatic. She only cried
when it was time to get out. She didn't want to stop. I was euphoric
seeing her joy as she played and clung to me in the water as much as
she wanted. I felt such a burden lifted from my shoulders.-=-



Very, very cool.

Keith swims well. He can do a few fancy dives. I don't swim at
all. Still, he didn't take the kids to swim lessons; he wanted me
to. I didn't want them to get my fears. It worked out, and he has
done a lot of playing in pools with them, and in a lake with Marty
and Holly. (Kirby and I opted out of that family trip, where Marty
rode a Jet Ski and Holly and Marty towed a houseboat (themselves, for
fun).

Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

Holly did take swimming lessons, but not really. I found this this
morning, looking for something else (and THAT is really how
unschooling can work, with people being willing to find something
other than what they were looking for, and make good use of it!


**********************
Out front there are bikes, a pogo stick, a pogo-ball thing, lots of
rollerblades, a skateboard, a "taxi bike" (a tricycle with another
seat behind), and those are used in waves, and left alone in waves.

Kirby takes karate three times a week.

Marty skates on Saturdays. He's up to Basic IV and will start hockey
in April, I think. Holly skates too, unfortunately not at the same
time. She's in Basic I, having finished a little-kid Snowplow Sam class.

All three kids are in swimming lessons three days a week.

We have a compost pile, and it's kind of amazing how it seems at
first that the food and leaves and sticks and banana peels and dog
poop will never do anything but sit there looking like garbage, but
when I stop watching it, it turns to solid black, rich dirt! I can't
find any parts of the elements of which it's made. It's kind of like
that with my kids. It took me a few years to quit watching them and
trust that it would compost. 
It did.

***************************************

Holly was too short to stand in the water, and so she could only do
the stuff on the top steps, and so she would sit with me and my
friend Monica Cordova, whose two older kids were in the class too.
When I read that, which was written while we were still at our old
house, it all came back. We were at the indoor pool at Los Altos
Park, and after that there was an outdoor pool near Comanche, and
Holly just opted out totally and hung out with me instead. And
ultimately she became a better swimmer. But she was in lessons a
little while, and didn't finish a course.



Sandra

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