Mommy is boring!
swissarmy_wife
My son was at practice the other day and my husband questioned me
about how much played video games. I too, have noticed that he is
seeming less interested in the games, but for lack of anything better
to do he turns on the computer. I told my husband that I thought it
was my fault and that I had become boring and not so spontaneous. I'm
not very good at making like "sparkly" these days. I was GREAT at it
when we first started unschooling. I don't know what happened.
THEN, proving how in tune our family is, my son comes to me and says
"Mom, you know why I play video games so much? It's because I'm
bored. You're kind of boring." *GASP*!!!
Anyway, my questions are, is their anyone on here prone to
"boringness"? and how do you keep moving? I have traditionally had a
habit of becoming stagnant. ESPECIALLY in the winter.
Also, like I said, when we were first started unschooling, things were
wonderful! I had more things to do and we had more fun than ever
before. When things settled down, and we became used to our new
lifestyles, well... mommy got boring again. :-(
I have some of my own thoughts on how to fix my problem, and help my
kids have a more interesting life but, I was looking for some outside
advice as well.
Boringly yours,
Heather
about how much played video games. I too, have noticed that he is
seeming less interested in the games, but for lack of anything better
to do he turns on the computer. I told my husband that I thought it
was my fault and that I had become boring and not so spontaneous. I'm
not very good at making like "sparkly" these days. I was GREAT at it
when we first started unschooling. I don't know what happened.
THEN, proving how in tune our family is, my son comes to me and says
"Mom, you know why I play video games so much? It's because I'm
bored. You're kind of boring." *GASP*!!!
Anyway, my questions are, is their anyone on here prone to
"boringness"? and how do you keep moving? I have traditionally had a
habit of becoming stagnant. ESPECIALLY in the winter.
Also, like I said, when we were first started unschooling, things were
wonderful! I had more things to do and we had more fun than ever
before. When things settled down, and we became used to our new
lifestyles, well... mommy got boring again. :-(
I have some of my own thoughts on how to fix my problem, and help my
kids have a more interesting life but, I was looking for some outside
advice as well.
Boringly yours,
Heather
Joanna Murphy
Hi Heather--
I know what you mean. In my case I am looking for new inspiration because my dd9 is at
a new place. She's had lots of things she's into, but now she's looking for new
inspiration--and it looks like boredom. The things I'm doing right now are:
1. Rereading some John Holt books to help get me sparky again
2. Combing Sandra's and Pam's websites--they have so many ideas out there. I'm making
a list as I come across things that might interest her to do--bigger projects, little dice
games, etc. I've also been following links that lead to interesting things. So much
research can be done on the internet.
The thing that's happening lately is that all of a sudden she's interested in going to
classes, and there are some really good attempts going on around here within our
unschooling community to get classes going that will meet the needs of the unschoolers
as far as having fairly open structure, lots of hands on, etc.. But in observing things, I'm
realizing that we don't need a class for any of the stuff she wants to do right now and the
social component of the class is a larger factor than anything else that goes on. I can
help her to do a lot of the stuff she's interested in. She's not interested in anything
specialized like a martial art or ballet at this point.
I have been motivated to write about that on our unschooling discussion board, and some
people really aren't getting what I mean--it's kind of funny that even the unschoolers
can't see past the shiny allure of all the classes that are offered for kids these days. They
all sound great and so full of the promise to teach our kids everything they might be
missing. And now they even use different language: "provide the opportunity." Well,
what parent doesn't want to do that?!? But they still mostly boil down to a lot of
management, one adult presenting some material in some way that may or may not be
interesting to any one child, a timetable, etc. They may work just fine for some, but in
really watching my dd, I'm just not finding that they justify the expense.
She usually says, "There was too much talking."
So I think the sudden interest indicates that she would like more stimulation and would
like me to be bringing more to her (she still actually wants to stay home a lot), but she
didn't know how to ask.
Joanna
I know what you mean. In my case I am looking for new inspiration because my dd9 is at
a new place. She's had lots of things she's into, but now she's looking for new
inspiration--and it looks like boredom. The things I'm doing right now are:
1. Rereading some John Holt books to help get me sparky again
2. Combing Sandra's and Pam's websites--they have so many ideas out there. I'm making
a list as I come across things that might interest her to do--bigger projects, little dice
games, etc. I've also been following links that lead to interesting things. So much
research can be done on the internet.
The thing that's happening lately is that all of a sudden she's interested in going to
classes, and there are some really good attempts going on around here within our
unschooling community to get classes going that will meet the needs of the unschoolers
as far as having fairly open structure, lots of hands on, etc.. But in observing things, I'm
realizing that we don't need a class for any of the stuff she wants to do right now and the
social component of the class is a larger factor than anything else that goes on. I can
help her to do a lot of the stuff she's interested in. She's not interested in anything
specialized like a martial art or ballet at this point.
I have been motivated to write about that on our unschooling discussion board, and some
people really aren't getting what I mean--it's kind of funny that even the unschoolers
can't see past the shiny allure of all the classes that are offered for kids these days. They
all sound great and so full of the promise to teach our kids everything they might be
missing. And now they even use different language: "provide the opportunity." Well,
what parent doesn't want to do that?!? But they still mostly boil down to a lot of
management, one adult presenting some material in some way that may or may not be
interesting to any one child, a timetable, etc. They may work just fine for some, but in
really watching my dd, I'm just not finding that they justify the expense.
She usually says, "There was too much talking."
So I think the sudden interest indicates that she would like more stimulation and would
like me to be bringing more to her (she still actually wants to stay home a lot), but she
didn't know how to ask.
Joanna
swissarmy_wife
I like the way you put that soo much better!!!
Mommy isn't boring! Mommy needs a little inspiration! <G>
Traditionally, I've always been someone who needed lists to get the
things done I wanted to do. (read: scatterbrain!) I dropped that
when we first started unschooling. I'm not sure why I thought I had
to. It's not like I ever made anyone stick to the lists. I just need
to organize thoughts and ideas outside of head. :-)
I was feeling badly today. I feel that I wasn't my best this winter.
Pregnancy has left me tired and less than ambitious and I feel that
the boys have suffered a bit. Although, that's the worst I've heard.
That I'm boring. Aside from the eye rolling I KNOW is going on
behind my back. I can't help being emotional! <BG>
I'm going to go back to list making. For reference sake.
...off to find some inspiration in the bottom of the ice cream tub!
-Heather
--- In [email protected], "Joanna Murphy" <ridingmom@...>
wrote:
Mommy isn't boring! Mommy needs a little inspiration! <G>
Traditionally, I've always been someone who needed lists to get the
things done I wanted to do. (read: scatterbrain!) I dropped that
when we first started unschooling. I'm not sure why I thought I had
to. It's not like I ever made anyone stick to the lists. I just need
to organize thoughts and ideas outside of head. :-)
I was feeling badly today. I feel that I wasn't my best this winter.
Pregnancy has left me tired and less than ambitious and I feel that
the boys have suffered a bit. Although, that's the worst I've heard.
That I'm boring. Aside from the eye rolling I KNOW is going on
behind my back. I can't help being emotional! <BG>
I'm going to go back to list making. For reference sake.
...off to find some inspiration in the bottom of the ice cream tub!
-Heather
--- In [email protected], "Joanna Murphy" <ridingmom@...>
wrote:
>because my dd9 is at
> Hi Heather--
>
> I know what you mean. In my case I am looking for new inspiration
> a new place. She's had lots of things she's into, but now she'slooking for new
> inspiration--and it looks like boredom.
Joanna Murphy
Hi--
I wanted to share one of the things we're doing along the lines of bringing more of the
outside world into kids that are really enjoying being at home. We are putting interesting
daily holidays on our calendar. I found this site:
http://www.dailyholidays.net/month.php?month=3
You know how every day has some goofy and not so goofy thing attached to it, like that
it's national egg day, or somesuch? This site lists a whole bunch from our country and
other countries. Today, along with other things, is Make Your Own Holiday Day, so last
night I asked the kids what holiday they would like to make. One idea was Take Your Kids
to the Candy Store Day, another was Stay Up All Night and Sleep All Day Day, and they
settled on Treat Your Family Nice Day. It was completely up to them--so that makes a
mommy smile!
Anyway, I went through and chose a smattering of days that I thought would be
interesting to them (and me too), and put them on the family calendar. April 3 is Pony
Express Day (in honor of my horse loving daughter), April 15 in National Pi day (in honor
of number loving son), etc.
Washington State's Cherry Blossom Day stimulated discussion about asian art, ornamental
vs. producing fruit trees, photography and beauty along with some internet searching for
examples and it's not even on our calendar!
Anyway, they seem to be loving this idea so far, so I thought I would share in case anyone
else is looking for some new inspiration.
Joanna
I wanted to share one of the things we're doing along the lines of bringing more of the
outside world into kids that are really enjoying being at home. We are putting interesting
daily holidays on our calendar. I found this site:
http://www.dailyholidays.net/month.php?month=3
You know how every day has some goofy and not so goofy thing attached to it, like that
it's national egg day, or somesuch? This site lists a whole bunch from our country and
other countries. Today, along with other things, is Make Your Own Holiday Day, so last
night I asked the kids what holiday they would like to make. One idea was Take Your Kids
to the Candy Store Day, another was Stay Up All Night and Sleep All Day Day, and they
settled on Treat Your Family Nice Day. It was completely up to them--so that makes a
mommy smile!
Anyway, I went through and chose a smattering of days that I thought would be
interesting to them (and me too), and put them on the family calendar. April 3 is Pony
Express Day (in honor of my horse loving daughter), April 15 in National Pi day (in honor
of number loving son), etc.
Washington State's Cherry Blossom Day stimulated discussion about asian art, ornamental
vs. producing fruit trees, photography and beauty along with some internet searching for
examples and it's not even on our calendar!
Anyway, they seem to be loving this idea so far, so I thought I would share in case anyone
else is looking for some new inspiration.
Joanna
Sandra Dodd
We have a page-a-day calendar in the bathroom, and something from
that is discussed a couple of times a week. It won't be everybody,
just two or three people. (We don't have an assembly so everyone can
be in on the discussion, I mean. <g>)
There are also mix-it-up ideas here:
http://sandradodd.com/checklists
http://sandradodd.com/deblewis (she has a list or two linked from
there and I don't have them memorized, but it's worth going there to
see some more of her inspiring stuff)
http://sandradodd.com/art
http://sandradodd.com/music (both of those things have stuff to do
online, as does...)
http://sandradodd.com/history (toys that are in a museum in England
(Leeds?), wound up and videotaped so you can see how they move and
what noise they make
Sandra
that is discussed a couple of times a week. It won't be everybody,
just two or three people. (We don't have an assembly so everyone can
be in on the discussion, I mean. <g>)
There are also mix-it-up ideas here:
http://sandradodd.com/checklists
http://sandradodd.com/deblewis (she has a list or two linked from
there and I don't have them memorized, but it's worth going there to
see some more of her inspiring stuff)
http://sandradodd.com/art
http://sandradodd.com/music (both of those things have stuff to do
online, as does...)
http://sandradodd.com/history (toys that are in a museum in England
(Leeds?), wound up and videotaped so you can see how they move and
what noise they make
Sandra
m_aduhene
Hi,
Just seen this thread and thought I would ask my question along with
it as it kinda ties in. My children have not yet said I am boring,
but I do feel boring. I have no hobbies with which to inspire them,
you know like art or nature or photography or music or etc....
I just feel....well I have some friends whose children (homeschooled)
seem to be learning everything from tudors and stuarts, to algebra, to
writing mini books (at 7) and I love these friends dearly but i get a
bit agitated when my dd's (7) interests are:
Beatrix Potter, Bratz, Titanic, Rainbow Fairies and other things which
by comparison (there's the word I guess, stop comparing)seem less, I
don't know.....not academic just,...I don't know what word i want.
When I hear my freind's talk I feel my dd is way behind (I know you
will say there is no "behind" in unschooling). I strew for her, buy
her books, dvd's and google stuff in line with her interests. We talk
constantly, about everything. I'm just feeling that becos I don't
have any particular thing I'm into (which is tricky as I have a ds
nearly 4 and a dd nearly 2)that they somehow miss out. I have
"attachment parented" my children all of their lives and feel i know
them as well as i can but i just doubt that i am giving them enough OR
big question can i give them too much and then i lose something of
myself?
thanks
blessings
michelle
Just seen this thread and thought I would ask my question along with
it as it kinda ties in. My children have not yet said I am boring,
but I do feel boring. I have no hobbies with which to inspire them,
you know like art or nature or photography or music or etc....
I just feel....well I have some friends whose children (homeschooled)
seem to be learning everything from tudors and stuarts, to algebra, to
writing mini books (at 7) and I love these friends dearly but i get a
bit agitated when my dd's (7) interests are:
Beatrix Potter, Bratz, Titanic, Rainbow Fairies and other things which
by comparison (there's the word I guess, stop comparing)seem less, I
don't know.....not academic just,...I don't know what word i want.
When I hear my freind's talk I feel my dd is way behind (I know you
will say there is no "behind" in unschooling). I strew for her, buy
her books, dvd's and google stuff in line with her interests. We talk
constantly, about everything. I'm just feeling that becos I don't
have any particular thing I'm into (which is tricky as I have a ds
nearly 4 and a dd nearly 2)that they somehow miss out. I have
"attachment parented" my children all of their lives and feel i know
them as well as i can but i just doubt that i am giving them enough OR
big question can i give them too much and then i lose something of
myself?
thanks
blessings
michelle
Sandra Dodd
-=- I strew for her, buy
her books, dvd's and google stuff in line with her interests. We talk
constantly, about everything. I'm just feeling that becos I don't
have any particular thing I'm into (which is tricky as I have a ds
nearly 4 and a dd nearly 2)that they somehow miss out.-=-
It sounds to me like you're into your daughter right no! That's not
a problem. She's very little, and I think spending a ton of time
with her and your son is perfect.
This is slightly a joke, but mostly dead serious. There's a chart:
http://sandradodd.com/howto
According to that chart, with my daughter sixteen, I should spend
about five hours a day doing things for or with her, paying attention
to her. We're doing that. I only spend an our or two with Marty,
but that's fine too.
Your daughter's two. You should be spending 21 hours a day with her,
by my very precise graph (you'll see it at the link).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
her books, dvd's and google stuff in line with her interests. We talk
constantly, about everything. I'm just feeling that becos I don't
have any particular thing I'm into (which is tricky as I have a ds
nearly 4 and a dd nearly 2)that they somehow miss out.-=-
It sounds to me like you're into your daughter right no! That's not
a problem. She's very little, and I think spending a ton of time
with her and your son is perfect.
This is slightly a joke, but mostly dead serious. There's a chart:
http://sandradodd.com/howto
According to that chart, with my daughter sixteen, I should spend
about five hours a day doing things for or with her, paying attention
to her. We're doing that. I only spend an our or two with Marty,
but that's fine too.
Your daughter's two. You should be spending 21 hours a day with her,
by my very precise graph (you'll see it at the link).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cathy
I read Sandras link: http://sandradodd.com/howto
Sandra says it is a bit of a joke but mostly serious. I saw it in exactly
this light. Like how can I really spend that many hours with my child?
Impossible J... Do you know how busy my life is? Etc Etc Etc..... BUT, how
many hours am I actually spending with my children (really spending, not
just sharing the same breathing space)? Where can I improve things? What am
I doing that seems important but that in reality takes away from this most
important time spent with my children? What can I change so that we do
necessary things together more? And a whole lot of other provoking
questions. First result is that I am off now to have a bubble bath with my 6
year old instead of my usual quick shower!!!
The page concludes:
give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you
thought you had given away, and more. <<<
That pretty much sums it up, doesnt it? Unschooling becomes the ultimate
challenge against modern selfishness. And a call to battle, certainly for
me, because I am selfish. Which means that instead of blaming others, I look
at myself first when things havent gone so well like me being grumpy with
my kids yesterday because they didnt listen to something I told them to do
while I finished off an email L. In retrospect, I should have chucked the
email and helped them do what they needed to do (get in the car as we were
going out and about to run late...) Instead I pursued my own ends and the
price was an uncomfortable ½ hour while we regained our group harmony...
Regards
Cathy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra says it is a bit of a joke but mostly serious. I saw it in exactly
this light. Like how can I really spend that many hours with my child?
Impossible J... Do you know how busy my life is? Etc Etc Etc..... BUT, how
many hours am I actually spending with my children (really spending, not
just sharing the same breathing space)? Where can I improve things? What am
I doing that seems important but that in reality takes away from this most
important time spent with my children? What can I change so that we do
necessary things together more? And a whole lot of other provoking
questions. First result is that I am off now to have a bubble bath with my 6
year old instead of my usual quick shower!!!
The page concludes:
>>> If you want to measure, measure generously. If you want to give, givegenerously. If you want to unschool, or be a mindful parent, give, give,
give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you
thought you had given away, and more. <<<
That pretty much sums it up, doesnt it? Unschooling becomes the ultimate
challenge against modern selfishness. And a call to battle, certainly for
me, because I am selfish. Which means that instead of blaming others, I look
at myself first when things havent gone so well like me being grumpy with
my kids yesterday because they didnt listen to something I told them to do
while I finished off an email L. In retrospect, I should have chucked the
email and helped them do what they needed to do (get in the car as we were
going out and about to run late...) Instead I pursued my own ends and the
price was an uncomfortable ½ hour while we regained our group harmony...
Regards
Cathy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
m_aduhene
>>> If you want to measure, measure generously. If you want to give, givegenerously. If you want to unschool, or be a mindful parent, give, give,
give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you
thought you had given away, and more. <<<
Hi,
This allays me fears thanq. That's what I feel I have been doing and
am still doing, give, give, give. In my mind while my children are
awake I am there and I do whatever they want to do. When they are
alseep I am there ready to respond if they wake, and we all share a
nice big bed (2 king sizes pushed together). They pretty much are my
life but I see (with my 7 year old dd) how their needs change and it
becomes were they don't need you as much all of the time.
Cathy wrote:
Unschooling becomes the ultimate challenge against modern
selfishness.And a call to battle, certainly for me, because I am
selfish. Which means that instead of blaming others, I look at myself
first when things haven't gone so well like me being grumpy with my
kids yesterday because they didn't listen to something I told them to
do while I finished off an email L. In retrospect, I should have
chucked the email and helped them do what they needed to do (get in
the car as we were going out and about to run late...) Instead I
pursued my own ends and the price was an uncomfortable ½ hour while we
regained our group harmony
I am not my nature selfish, but do find when I start thinking "I need
some space just for me". I then lose all my perspective and get
controlling and manipulative with the children and grumpy. I realise
when I am feeling rational that I don't "need" my own space, I can be
with my children and still get done what I feel I "must" do like read
a book occasionally or just think. I love the fact we answer to
no-one and nobody's timetable. Some well paid top executives can't
claim that. I love the fact that today we lingered at the farm and
fed and stroked the animals, and still had time to roll down the hills
at the park while dd 7 listened to High school musical. Right now we
are all on the computers and i have managed to type this e-mail and
say thanq for your reassurance but I am going now becos ds 3 needs
some help typing in google, so i'd better go but thanq.
blessings
michelle
Sandra Dodd
If a friend or partner can do something with your kids while you do
something with other friends, that can be wonderful too.
"Babysitting" isn't the thing to do, though. The kids will be home
and you're not home and they get antsy and nervous. But if the other
parent or another family or another adult friend will take them out
to do something cool, that can be good for everyone involved!
Even once a month, every few weeks, would be good, if the mom wants
the break.
Sandra
something with other friends, that can be wonderful too.
"Babysitting" isn't the thing to do, though. The kids will be home
and you're not home and they get antsy and nervous. But if the other
parent or another family or another adult friend will take them out
to do something cool, that can be good for everyone involved!
Even once a month, every few weeks, would be good, if the mom wants
the break.
Sandra