Effects of Stress
ron_monach
My 13 year old son has been choosing to attend a Montessori school
for the past 2 years. We used to HOMESCHOOL. He chose school for
more social activity--in retrospect, I did allow the birth of 2
other children and the nursing and needs of these children to leave
me not making the same outgoing efforts to find the excessive social
outings he craved. That said, school has been very stressful for
him. The homework seems to have been the straw that broke his back,
as it came to such a head this year, we finally sat last week and
decided enough is enough--get out before it kills you (and uS!!:))
Sawyer has been kind of angry, not wanting to interact with his 8
and 5 year old brothers and has been downright hostile and nasty
toward them with no provacation, not really wanting to hang out with
us, not wanting to talk nicely, nor be compliant with any part of
the "family" doings. (Like if we planned an outing to the beach,
which we ALL love, he would turn it into a nightmare).
Now, he has only been out of school 1 full week, but holy cow! He
is hugging us--smiling, playing with his brothers, hanging out in
the kitchen, asking questions, went to the LIBRARY with me--wants to
cook every Wednesday night....is answering nicely, asking nicely,
looks different altogether--body posture etc.
I have been astounded, and now have to say that by Golly--it is the
stress that caused a lot of that previous behavior. It had nothing
to do with being 12-13. It wasn't some other excuse about too much
food, too little, too little sleep..too many WOW hours......all the
things I kept looking for and trying to help him out with .
He wants to continue with some kind of "school" work, which we're
discussing, but I have just kind of tossed it in his lap as to WHAT,
and then am helping him find the info. MY point--not to digress- is
that the effects of stress are far beyond what I already knew. The
transformation of this child--what occurred in the beginning of him
going to school--though very slowly and not as noticable to link---
to the stripping of this shell of resistance to all things good--is
remarkable. And of course makes me sad that I waited and didn't
pull him out earlier--but that was not HIS choice at the time. We
just kept talking about the pros and cons, and I pointed out the
detriments as I saw them, and kept asking him to consider all things
with his life choices.
And yes, my efforts will be 110% for finding him what HE needs now.
And there will BE NO MORE HOMESCHOOLING IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
for the past 2 years. We used to HOMESCHOOL. He chose school for
more social activity--in retrospect, I did allow the birth of 2
other children and the nursing and needs of these children to leave
me not making the same outgoing efforts to find the excessive social
outings he craved. That said, school has been very stressful for
him. The homework seems to have been the straw that broke his back,
as it came to such a head this year, we finally sat last week and
decided enough is enough--get out before it kills you (and uS!!:))
Sawyer has been kind of angry, not wanting to interact with his 8
and 5 year old brothers and has been downright hostile and nasty
toward them with no provacation, not really wanting to hang out with
us, not wanting to talk nicely, nor be compliant with any part of
the "family" doings. (Like if we planned an outing to the beach,
which we ALL love, he would turn it into a nightmare).
Now, he has only been out of school 1 full week, but holy cow! He
is hugging us--smiling, playing with his brothers, hanging out in
the kitchen, asking questions, went to the LIBRARY with me--wants to
cook every Wednesday night....is answering nicely, asking nicely,
looks different altogether--body posture etc.
I have been astounded, and now have to say that by Golly--it is the
stress that caused a lot of that previous behavior. It had nothing
to do with being 12-13. It wasn't some other excuse about too much
food, too little, too little sleep..too many WOW hours......all the
things I kept looking for and trying to help him out with .
He wants to continue with some kind of "school" work, which we're
discussing, but I have just kind of tossed it in his lap as to WHAT,
and then am helping him find the info. MY point--not to digress- is
that the effects of stress are far beyond what I already knew. The
transformation of this child--what occurred in the beginning of him
going to school--though very slowly and not as noticable to link---
to the stripping of this shell of resistance to all things good--is
remarkable. And of course makes me sad that I waited and didn't
pull him out earlier--but that was not HIS choice at the time. We
just kept talking about the pros and cons, and I pointed out the
detriments as I saw them, and kept asking him to consider all things
with his life choices.
And yes, my efforts will be 110% for finding him what HE needs now.
And there will BE NO MORE HOMESCHOOLING IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!