my wacky fears
juillet727
Hi everyone--
I'm having these wacky fears about my 8yr old son playing his xbox360
online. We just started the online part. He's been playing halo 1, 2,
and 3 and really enjoying himself and it's good and fun.
Both me and my partner have played with our son--I'm really bad at it,
but we laugh and shoot and basically have a good time. We don't have
limits on how long anyone plays; and we know the value of food and
water during a lengthy game.
But now, we are delving into the world of online friends, and I'm
having the most ridiculous fears come up in me. I feel kind of like I
want to protect my son from - what? - bullies, I guess, or older folks
who could be mean or...feeling pressured to play some of the scarier
landscapes. (my son has a huge fear of spiders).
But what I've noticed him actually DOING is leaving a game he doesn't
like and not talking into his headset first to hear how the other
players are--if they're nice or not.
He had a really scary nightmare this morning and was all upset about
it. We talked and hugged and did things to help makes things better.
And then this morning he was playing a super scary landscape with a
new online friend and I thought--Jeez! Don't do that! You just woke up
from a nightmare an hour ago! I was worried he was playing just
because his friend picked out the landscape. So I whispered to him if
that was ok or if it was too scary and he said no, he was having fun.
So I let it go.
But I'm still having these temptations to do some dumb, unthinking
thing to quell MY fears that would probably not be helpful or
supportive of my son's new online fun. I have these "what if"
scenarios that come up and make me think I blew it by letting him
even play Halo online.
So, the reason I'm bringing it up here is because I need help thinking
this through. The world of online friends is new to me and I don't
know how ok it is with me, to be honest. But here we are, playing Halo
online.
~~Juillet
I'm having these wacky fears about my 8yr old son playing his xbox360
online. We just started the online part. He's been playing halo 1, 2,
and 3 and really enjoying himself and it's good and fun.
Both me and my partner have played with our son--I'm really bad at it,
but we laugh and shoot and basically have a good time. We don't have
limits on how long anyone plays; and we know the value of food and
water during a lengthy game.
But now, we are delving into the world of online friends, and I'm
having the most ridiculous fears come up in me. I feel kind of like I
want to protect my son from - what? - bullies, I guess, or older folks
who could be mean or...feeling pressured to play some of the scarier
landscapes. (my son has a huge fear of spiders).
But what I've noticed him actually DOING is leaving a game he doesn't
like and not talking into his headset first to hear how the other
players are--if they're nice or not.
He had a really scary nightmare this morning and was all upset about
it. We talked and hugged and did things to help makes things better.
And then this morning he was playing a super scary landscape with a
new online friend and I thought--Jeez! Don't do that! You just woke up
from a nightmare an hour ago! I was worried he was playing just
because his friend picked out the landscape. So I whispered to him if
that was ok or if it was too scary and he said no, he was having fun.
So I let it go.
But I'm still having these temptations to do some dumb, unthinking
thing to quell MY fears that would probably not be helpful or
supportive of my son's new online fun. I have these "what if"
scenarios that come up and make me think I blew it by letting him
even play Halo online.
So, the reason I'm bringing it up here is because I need help thinking
this through. The world of online friends is new to me and I don't
know how ok it is with me, to be honest. But here we are, playing Halo
online.
~~Juillet
Sandra Dodd
-=-So, the reason I'm bringing it up here is because I need help
thinking
this through. The world of online friends is new to me and I don't
know how ok it is with me, to be honest. But here we are, playing Halo
online.-=-
Are you afraid other people will come to your house and abduct him?
Because the kids who have chosen to leave their houses and get into a
stranger's car--that's because they would rather be with a stranger
than home. If home is fun and safe and comfortable (by "safe" I mean
nobody's hitting or yelling or abandoning or leaving open flames
going while spray painting.... whatever all)... why would he want to
leave?
Anyway, it's chat rooms and IMs that get people making up romantic
and adventurous scenarios. Not Xbox.
As to bad dreams and scenarios, if you're not MAKING him play, why
would you have a fear? He can turn it off. He could have happy
music on on the side.
I'm guessing he played late and went to bed without thinking about it
much or talking about it, and then had the dream. If people talk
about something scary, that can take care of the filing and
processing the brain needs to do. Do it while you're awake, and
you'll probably dream about something different. That's my
experience with me and my kids and friends.
He's eight. He'll be nine soon. He'll be nineteen soon. Those
little five or eight pound babies I used to have are way grown.
They're braver than I've ever been about all kinds of things, because
I let them try things when they wanted to, and get away from scary
situations when they wanted to.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thinking
this through. The world of online friends is new to me and I don't
know how ok it is with me, to be honest. But here we are, playing Halo
online.-=-
Are you afraid other people will come to your house and abduct him?
Because the kids who have chosen to leave their houses and get into a
stranger's car--that's because they would rather be with a stranger
than home. If home is fun and safe and comfortable (by "safe" I mean
nobody's hitting or yelling or abandoning or leaving open flames
going while spray painting.... whatever all)... why would he want to
leave?
Anyway, it's chat rooms and IMs that get people making up romantic
and adventurous scenarios. Not Xbox.
As to bad dreams and scenarios, if you're not MAKING him play, why
would you have a fear? He can turn it off. He could have happy
music on on the side.
I'm guessing he played late and went to bed without thinking about it
much or talking about it, and then had the dream. If people talk
about something scary, that can take care of the filing and
processing the brain needs to do. Do it while you're awake, and
you'll probably dream about something different. That's my
experience with me and my kids and friends.
He's eight. He'll be nine soon. He'll be nineteen soon. Those
little five or eight pound babies I used to have are way grown.
They're braver than I've ever been about all kinds of things, because
I let them try things when they wanted to, and get away from scary
situations when they wanted to.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heather
My son is 12 and plays a lot of Xbox Live. Mostly Halo 3.
But he also likes the Simpsons game, Super Mario Smash Bro. Brawl, Viva
Pinata.
He recently bought Army of 2, because of suggestions from online friends.
He hooked up with a couple other unschoolers on the
[email protected]
which apparently got started at a Live & Learn conference.
So now he has a couple "best" friends that he has never met in real life
LOL.
I've talked to one boys' parents on the wireless mike & we've emailed photos
to each other so our
boys could connect a bit more. It is very nice to "know" other unschoolers
who will
stay up all night to play games with my son!
heather
in tucson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
But he also likes the Simpsons game, Super Mario Smash Bro. Brawl, Viva
Pinata.
He recently bought Army of 2, because of suggestions from online friends.
He hooked up with a couple other unschoolers on the
[email protected]
which apparently got started at a Live & Learn conference.
So now he has a couple "best" friends that he has never met in real life
LOL.
I've talked to one boys' parents on the wireless mike & we've emailed photos
to each other so our
boys could connect a bit more. It is very nice to "know" other unschoolers
who will
stay up all night to play games with my son!
heather
in tucson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tara
> He had a really scary nightmare this morning and was all upset aboutJust a thought: This could be a way for him to face his fear or face
> it. We talked and hugged and did things to help makes things better.
> And then this morning he was playing a super scary landscape with a
> new online friend and I thought--Jeez! Don't do that! You just woke up
> from a nightmare an hour ago! I was worried he was playing just
> because his friend picked out the landscape. So I whispered to him if
> that was ok or if it was too scary and he said no, he was having fun.
> So I let it go.
>
the fear he felt during his nightmare and do so in a non-realiztic way.
~ Tara
Nicole Willoughby
Just a thought: This could be a way for him to face his fear or face
the fear he felt during his nightmare and do so in a non-realiztic way.
Well she started having some nightmares and prefered sleeping in the living room . She'd come get me and we'd talk and snuggle if she woke up in the middle of the night.
Without a word from me she stopped watching the show.Maybe she got enough reassurance that Id always be there to help her handle whatever it is. Maybe she came to the conclusion that the show was to much for her. Maybe she simply found something more appealing to do and making sure to watch her show at 1 became unimportant.
Its instinct to want to protect our children but we cant protect them so much that they arent able to grow.
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the fear he felt during his nightmare and do so in a non-realiztic way.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>My 8 year old dd recently spent about 3 months watching this haunted show I think on discovery. She literaly planned her day around this show and had to dvr it if we were going to be out.
Well she started having some nightmares and prefered sleeping in the living room . She'd come get me and we'd talk and snuggle if she woke up in the middle of the night.
Without a word from me she stopped watching the show.Maybe she got enough reassurance that Id always be there to help her handle whatever it is. Maybe she came to the conclusion that the show was to much for her. Maybe she simply found something more appealing to do and making sure to watch her show at 1 became unimportant.
Its instinct to want to protect our children but we cant protect them so much that they arent able to grow.
---------------------------------
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]