Allowance
swissarmy_wife
I woke up this morning wondering why my 9 year was locked in his room
making a lot of noises with Lego's. I could hear the pouring and
organizing. :-) He usually wakes up and parks himself in front of
his computer and an animation program. (www.aniboom.com Really cool
and FREE BTW)
About 30 minutes later, he comes down the stairs and asks me if I
noticed his "chores list". Then he brings me to look. I feel asleep
early last night (ahhh... pregnancy) and apparently my husband and S.
made this list together. We have not required or asked any "chores"
or cleaning of him for a very long time. I don't know who initiated
it. I don't know any details other than the fact that it was there
this morning, he seemed happy, and he had proudly cleaned his room. S
presented this to me this morning and said "I was thinking I could
get about 4 bucks a week, every Saturday, for this." I'm pretty sure
he came up with his own dollar amount. He said he wanted 2 dollars to
save, and 2 dollars to spend. ( wants to open a bank account for his
savings! COOL!)
Anyway, we chatted, and I chatted with my husband and we all came to
the conclusion that "YES, definitely. 4 dollars every Saturday is
your allowance."
So... here's my questions.
- should I ask my husband who's idea it was? does it matter how
it was handled. I'm not suspecting any coercion and he seems really
independent and content with his proposition.
- if he decided NOT to do the list he made, which he inevitably
will (LOL) how should this work? I don't think his allowance should
be contingent on whether he completes chores or not. But I feel that
he has made a commitment to us. Maybe I should help him honor that,
by helping him complete his list? or reworking his list? or should I
just stay out of it and give him 4 dollars every saturday as promised?
-what if he drops the list altogether. I don't mind. I just
want to be able to say the right words to him I guess.
Thanks in advance. This is my first allowance! :-) i never got
allowance as a kid. Even if I did I'm pretty sure it would have been
handled very poorly. LOL
making a lot of noises with Lego's. I could hear the pouring and
organizing. :-) He usually wakes up and parks himself in front of
his computer and an animation program. (www.aniboom.com Really cool
and FREE BTW)
About 30 minutes later, he comes down the stairs and asks me if I
noticed his "chores list". Then he brings me to look. I feel asleep
early last night (ahhh... pregnancy) and apparently my husband and S.
made this list together. We have not required or asked any "chores"
or cleaning of him for a very long time. I don't know who initiated
it. I don't know any details other than the fact that it was there
this morning, he seemed happy, and he had proudly cleaned his room. S
presented this to me this morning and said "I was thinking I could
get about 4 bucks a week, every Saturday, for this." I'm pretty sure
he came up with his own dollar amount. He said he wanted 2 dollars to
save, and 2 dollars to spend. ( wants to open a bank account for his
savings! COOL!)
Anyway, we chatted, and I chatted with my husband and we all came to
the conclusion that "YES, definitely. 4 dollars every Saturday is
your allowance."
So... here's my questions.
- should I ask my husband who's idea it was? does it matter how
it was handled. I'm not suspecting any coercion and he seems really
independent and content with his proposition.
- if he decided NOT to do the list he made, which he inevitably
will (LOL) how should this work? I don't think his allowance should
be contingent on whether he completes chores or not. But I feel that
he has made a commitment to us. Maybe I should help him honor that,
by helping him complete his list? or reworking his list? or should I
just stay out of it and give him 4 dollars every saturday as promised?
-what if he drops the list altogether. I don't mind. I just
want to be able to say the right words to him I guess.
Thanks in advance. This is my first allowance! :-) i never got
allowance as a kid. Even if I did I'm pretty sure it would have been
handled very poorly. LOL
Sandra Dodd
-=-So... here's my questions.
- should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
-=-- if he decided NOT to do the list he made, which he inevitably
will (LOL) how should this work? I don't think his allowance should
be contingent on whether he completes chores or not. But I feel that
he has made a commitment to us. -=-
I think he should have some money without obligation too, and I
*know* that nine is too young to be making binding contracts anywhere
in the world. <G>
-=-Maybe I should help him honor that, by helping him complete his
list? or reworking his list?-=-
Help him "honor" an agreement he made that he might change his mind
about? I would honor his right to change his mind.
Maybe before the deal falls apart (if it looks like it's going to)
you and your husband could initiate a renegotiation, so it comes from
you and not your son. Maybe you could say "We think it's great that
you want to do these things, but you should only do them because you
want to, not for money. And we think you should have more than $4,
so we're going to give you (whatever... $6--something more) a week."
Those are my first thoughts on it.
Night before last Holly went to the grocery store and spent some of
her own money on food she wanted. It was food I would've been
totally willing to buy for her. She could've just put it on the
list. She didn't ask to be reimbursed. The next time I have a
reason to give her money, though, I'll be generous, because she's not
stingy and grasping with hers.
Marty went away for the weekend
http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/03/marty-as-bardolf-at-
crown.html and Keith gave him $50 without being asked to. Marty
would've been carried by the people he went with and stayed with, but
Keith didn't want him to be broke, and wanted him to help with the
gasoline. I have no doubt that Marty brought back any unspent
money. I don't ask anymore. He always has.
They learned to take care of money by having money and spending it
(sometimes unwisely) and saving it (sometimes for very cool
things). Kids who don't have money when they're little do their
practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
Better to practice with small amounts.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
- should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
-=-- if he decided NOT to do the list he made, which he inevitably
will (LOL) how should this work? I don't think his allowance should
be contingent on whether he completes chores or not. But I feel that
he has made a commitment to us. -=-
I think he should have some money without obligation too, and I
*know* that nine is too young to be making binding contracts anywhere
in the world. <G>
-=-Maybe I should help him honor that, by helping him complete his
list? or reworking his list?-=-
Help him "honor" an agreement he made that he might change his mind
about? I would honor his right to change his mind.
Maybe before the deal falls apart (if it looks like it's going to)
you and your husband could initiate a renegotiation, so it comes from
you and not your son. Maybe you could say "We think it's great that
you want to do these things, but you should only do them because you
want to, not for money. And we think you should have more than $4,
so we're going to give you (whatever... $6--something more) a week."
Those are my first thoughts on it.
Night before last Holly went to the grocery store and spent some of
her own money on food she wanted. It was food I would've been
totally willing to buy for her. She could've just put it on the
list. She didn't ask to be reimbursed. The next time I have a
reason to give her money, though, I'll be generous, because she's not
stingy and grasping with hers.
Marty went away for the weekend
http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/03/marty-as-bardolf-at-
crown.html and Keith gave him $50 without being asked to. Marty
would've been carried by the people he went with and stayed with, but
Keith didn't want him to be broke, and wanted him to help with the
gasoline. I have no doubt that Marty brought back any unspent
money. I don't ask anymore. He always has.
They learned to take care of money by having money and spending it
(sometimes unwisely) and saving it (sometimes for very cool
things). Kids who don't have money when they're little do their
practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
Better to practice with small amounts.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
swissarmy_wife
> I think he should have some money without obligation too, and IHaha! Very true!!!
> *know* that nine is too young to be making binding contracts anywhere
> in the world. <G>
> Help him "honor" an agreement he made that he might change his mindRight. Sometimes its so easy I can't see it!
> about? I would honor his right to change his mind.
> Maybe before the deal falls apart (if it looks like it's going to)I like it. He's a really predictable child and VERY easy to read. I
> you and your husband could initiate a renegotiation, so it comes from
> you and not your son. Maybe you could say "We think it's great that
> you want to do these things, but you should only do them because you
> want to, not for money. And we think you should have more than $4,
> so we're going to give you (whatever... $6--something more) a week."
think we could definitely handle that. Thanks!
> They learned to take care of money by having money and spending itUp until know we've just given him what he's asked for. Or bought him
> (sometimes unwisely) and saving it (sometimes for very cool
> things). Kids who don't have money when they're little do their
> practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
> Better to practice with small amounts.
what he's wanting/needing. I'm liking that he's asking for his own
money. I'm happy to give it to him. He's been doing a lot of growing
lately. :-) I've seen a lot of changes in him.
(He picked up his first book the other day and read it cover to cover.
Then went for book 2 the next day and read that one cover to cover!
Very exciting! He used to love to read and Kindergarten took the joy
right out of it! I'm glad he's enjoying it again!)
Tara
Z gets $8 a week (one dollar for every year he is old) and gets a raise
on his birthdays (right around the time DH gets his annual raise lol).
His allowance is not contingent on his helping around the house. He
does have "chores" but they are things we usually do together. DH
wanted the weekly allowance to be contingent on weekly chores but how
could it? I have a strong aversion to doing weekly chores! LOL
But basically he gets an allowance cuz everyone deserves some spending
cash (he usually has more than me!) and we all pitch in around the
house to some extent cuz we all deserve a (somewhat) clean house.
However, we all reserve the right to say "Chores suck, let's skip
them!" LOL It's great how we're all on the same page on that one. haha
~ Tara
on his birthdays (right around the time DH gets his annual raise lol).
His allowance is not contingent on his helping around the house. He
does have "chores" but they are things we usually do together. DH
wanted the weekly allowance to be contingent on weekly chores but how
could it? I have a strong aversion to doing weekly chores! LOL
But basically he gets an allowance cuz everyone deserves some spending
cash (he usually has more than me!) and we all pitch in around the
house to some extent cuz we all deserve a (somewhat) clean house.
However, we all reserve the right to say "Chores suck, let's skip
them!" LOL It's great how we're all on the same page on that one. haha
~ Tara
graberamy
> -=-So... here's my questions.
> - should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
>
> If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-So... here's my questions.
> - should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
>
> If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
I agree. Your hubby may have thought it was your sons idea but your son
may have felt some (even unintentional) coercion. I know my ds often
does things cause he thinks it'll make someone else happy. Which is
nice but it's not always about what he wants then.
> Night before last Holly went to the grocery store and spent some of
> her own money on food she wanted. It was food I would've been
> totally willing to buy for her. She could've just put it on the
> list. She didn't ask to be reimbursed. The next time I have a
> reason to give her money, though, I'll be generous, because she's not
> stingy and grasping with hers.
>
> Marty went away for the weekend
>
> http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/03/marty-as-bardolf-at-
> crown.html and Keith gave him $50 without being asked to. Marty
> would've been carried by the people he went with and stayed with, but
> Keith didn't want him to be broke, and wanted him to help with the
> gasoline. I have no doubt that Marty brought back any unspent
> money. I don't ask anymore. He always has.
We too have always given the kids their own $$ to do with as they chose
(allowance), it goes up as they get older. A few weeks ago my
daughter (10) was at a cheerleading competition and staying with some
other team mates in a hotel (I was there, but not in the same room).
Sometimes they'd go off and get dinner as a team or do some stuff just
as a team. I gave her x amount of dollars and she said "I brought my
own $$ money, you don't need to give me this." I told her I would like
to pay for her dinner and snacks or whatever and she should save/ spend
her $$ on things she'd like. On the way home she gave me the unspent
$$. I told her to keep it. Then we stopped for food and I was a
little short so she gave me $$$.
To be honest I'm kinda surprised by this behavior because it looks
nothing like anything I would have done as a 10 year old (heck , even as
a 20 yo) . As a kid there would never be any unspent $$, if I had it,
I felt the need to spend it. Yikes!!
I was actually surprised at how many parents actually had the coaches
hold the girls money. Same thing happened at girl scout camp, I
overheard a parent telling a counselor that she wanted the counselor to
hold her daughters $$ cause all she's do is buy junk.
<Kids who don't have money when they're little do their
<practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
<Better to practice with small amounts.
Exactly what I was thinking!!
amy g
in a little warmer iowa
but still snow on the ground
and kids are in shorts at 55 degrees... [:O]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-To be honest I'm kinda surprised by this behavior because it looks
nothing like anything I would have done as a 10 year old (heck , even as
a 20 yo) . As a kid there would never be any unspent $$, if I had it,
I felt the need to spend it. Yikes!!-=-
It surprised me, too. I never stole from my parents, but I had
friends who did. They'd go into their dad's wallet or their mom's
purse or the "cookie jar" (whatever change stash there was) regularly.
Since our kids were little, if they wanted their allowance, Keith has
been able to say "My wallet's on my desk," and between the wallet and
the change bowl, they would get exactly their allowance.
I wrote this years ago: http://sandradodd.com/spoiled
It ends with this: -=-"You can't give what you don't have," some
people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and
kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're
overflowing with it.-=-
Holly dog-sat last weekend. She said "I like feeding Ben's dogs
better than Sadie's, because they food's still measured, but they
give them more of it."
Everywhere my kids have fed dogs (I'm thinking of four houses, people
I know in all), the dogs are fed by the clock and by the measure.
The dogs are rambunctious and knock each other and people away to get
to the food, and they beg and bug people all the time between times.
They're hungry. They're needy.
Our dog was at the vet a few months back, for the first time in
years. The vet did the routine thing, and asked what she was eating,
and Keith said "table scraps, some of her food, some of the cats'
food; whatever she wants." The vet was stunned and had no follow-up
speech. Our dog's not the least bit fat, and she's ten years old
this season, and running around fine. It seemed from what Keith was
saying that the vet figured there must be something wrong with her
for her not to be fat, if she had unlimited food.
Not only does Gudrun let the cats come up and eat what's been put
down for her (she knows they'll never finish it), and the cats let
her eat from their bowls, but when we have visiting dogs, Gudrun will
let them eat too. She'll chase dogs away from the front of the house
if they're out there, but if we let them in the house and tell her
it's okay, she doesn't growl about her food. I think it's because
she knows if the bowl's empty we'll put some more down. She eats
dry, and sometimes cooking- or table-scraps, and she loves cheese (so
we grate a little too much each time and let her have some) and
peanut butter) so stale bread or leftover pancakes become peanut
butter sandwiches for her, which we break into little pieces.
Someone said once "So we're unschooling our dogs now?" I don't think
it's unschooling, and I don't really think of what we're doing with
the kids at such levels to be unschooling either. I think it's
living naturally--paying attention to what people want and need, and
keeping them from being desperately needy or frustrated. It has
worked with our dog too, and the cats. The yard isn't fenced. They
can take off when and if they want to. They don't want to. They
have it good here, and we're nice to them.
Even without comparing their own lives to other people their age, our
kids have taken a lesson in behavior and psychology from feeding
other people's dogs and comparing all that to our pets.
Questions about allowance can be recast as "What will you provide?
What choices can others make when they HAVE a choice?
If a dog knows he has to eat fast and defensively or go hungry, he'll
eat fast and defensively.
If a dog knows there will be more food there when she's hungry, she
only eats when she's hungry.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nothing like anything I would have done as a 10 year old (heck , even as
a 20 yo) . As a kid there would never be any unspent $$, if I had it,
I felt the need to spend it. Yikes!!-=-
It surprised me, too. I never stole from my parents, but I had
friends who did. They'd go into their dad's wallet or their mom's
purse or the "cookie jar" (whatever change stash there was) regularly.
Since our kids were little, if they wanted their allowance, Keith has
been able to say "My wallet's on my desk," and between the wallet and
the change bowl, they would get exactly their allowance.
I wrote this years ago: http://sandradodd.com/spoiled
It ends with this: -=-"You can't give what you don't have," some
people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and
kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're
overflowing with it.-=-
Holly dog-sat last weekend. She said "I like feeding Ben's dogs
better than Sadie's, because they food's still measured, but they
give them more of it."
Everywhere my kids have fed dogs (I'm thinking of four houses, people
I know in all), the dogs are fed by the clock and by the measure.
The dogs are rambunctious and knock each other and people away to get
to the food, and they beg and bug people all the time between times.
They're hungry. They're needy.
Our dog was at the vet a few months back, for the first time in
years. The vet did the routine thing, and asked what she was eating,
and Keith said "table scraps, some of her food, some of the cats'
food; whatever she wants." The vet was stunned and had no follow-up
speech. Our dog's not the least bit fat, and she's ten years old
this season, and running around fine. It seemed from what Keith was
saying that the vet figured there must be something wrong with her
for her not to be fat, if she had unlimited food.
Not only does Gudrun let the cats come up and eat what's been put
down for her (she knows they'll never finish it), and the cats let
her eat from their bowls, but when we have visiting dogs, Gudrun will
let them eat too. She'll chase dogs away from the front of the house
if they're out there, but if we let them in the house and tell her
it's okay, she doesn't growl about her food. I think it's because
she knows if the bowl's empty we'll put some more down. She eats
dry, and sometimes cooking- or table-scraps, and she loves cheese (so
we grate a little too much each time and let her have some) and
peanut butter) so stale bread or leftover pancakes become peanut
butter sandwiches for her, which we break into little pieces.
Someone said once "So we're unschooling our dogs now?" I don't think
it's unschooling, and I don't really think of what we're doing with
the kids at such levels to be unschooling either. I think it's
living naturally--paying attention to what people want and need, and
keeping them from being desperately needy or frustrated. It has
worked with our dog too, and the cats. The yard isn't fenced. They
can take off when and if they want to. They don't want to. They
have it good here, and we're nice to them.
Even without comparing their own lives to other people their age, our
kids have taken a lesson in behavior and psychology from feeding
other people's dogs and comparing all that to our pets.
Questions about allowance can be recast as "What will you provide?
What choices can others make when they HAVE a choice?
If a dog knows he has to eat fast and defensively or go hungry, he'll
eat fast and defensively.
If a dog knows there will be more food there when she's hungry, she
only eats when she's hungry.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
"I was actually surprised at how many parents actually had the coaches hold the girls
money."
My 12 yo son would want someone else in charge. He's never cared much about money
and whenever there is money of his involved he always asks me or his dad to keep it for
him so it doesn't get lost. We haven't even gone down the allowance road really, because
he doesn't really care and my 9 yo dd hasn't yet either--I find her money all over the
house, used in play or sometimes just forgotten. I keep looking for signs that they would
like to have their own money for spending, but it just hasn't come up yet....
My son did get some christmas money and gift cards that he has enjoyed spending, but he
doesn't want to keep track of it or think about it--he just wants a total amount translated
into Wii controllers or games. :-)
Joanna
money."
My 12 yo son would want someone else in charge. He's never cared much about money
and whenever there is money of his involved he always asks me or his dad to keep it for
him so it doesn't get lost. We haven't even gone down the allowance road really, because
he doesn't really care and my 9 yo dd hasn't yet either--I find her money all over the
house, used in play or sometimes just forgotten. I keep looking for signs that they would
like to have their own money for spending, but it just hasn't come up yet....
My son did get some christmas money and gift cards that he has enjoyed spending, but he
doesn't want to keep track of it or think about it--he just wants a total amount translated
into Wii controllers or games. :-)
Joanna
--- In [email protected], "graberamy" <graber@...> wrote:
>
> > -=-So... here's my questions.
> > - should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
> >
> > If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
> --- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@> wrote:
> >
> > -=-So... here's my questions.
> > - should I ask my husband who's idea it was? -=-
> >
> > If it were me, I would ask my son, but not in any hurry.
>
> I agree. Your hubby may have thought it was your sons idea but your son
> may have felt some (even unintentional) coercion. I know my ds often
> does things cause he thinks it'll make someone else happy. Which is
> nice but it's not always about what he wants then.
>
> > Night before last Holly went to the grocery store and spent some of
> > her own money on food she wanted. It was food I would've been
> > totally willing to buy for her. She could've just put it on the
> > list. She didn't ask to be reimbursed. The next time I have a
> > reason to give her money, though, I'll be generous, because she's not
> > stingy and grasping with hers.
> >
> > Marty went away for the weekend
> >
> > http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/03/marty-as-bardolf-at-
> > crown.html and Keith gave him $50 without being asked to. Marty
> > would've been carried by the people he went with and stayed with, but
> > Keith didn't want him to be broke, and wanted him to help with the
> > gasoline. I have no doubt that Marty brought back any unspent
> > money. I don't ask anymore. He always has.
>
> We too have always given the kids their own $$ to do with as they chose
> (allowance), it goes up as they get older. A few weeks ago my
> daughter (10) was at a cheerleading competition and staying with some
> other team mates in a hotel (I was there, but not in the same room).
> Sometimes they'd go off and get dinner as a team or do some stuff just
> as a team. I gave her x amount of dollars and she said "I brought my
> own $$ money, you don't need to give me this." I told her I would like
> to pay for her dinner and snacks or whatever and she should save/ spend
> her $$ on things she'd like. On the way home she gave me the unspent
> $$. I told her to keep it. Then we stopped for food and I was a
> little short so she gave me $$$.
>
> To be honest I'm kinda surprised by this behavior because it looks
> nothing like anything I would have done as a 10 year old (heck , even as
> a 20 yo) . As a kid there would never be any unspent $$, if I had it,
> I felt the need to spend it. Yikes!!
>
> I was actually surprised at how many parents actually had the coaches
> hold the girls money. Same thing happened at girl scout camp, I
> overheard a parent telling a counselor that she wanted the counselor to
> hold her daughters $$ cause all she's do is buy junk.
>
> <Kids who don't have money when they're little do their
> <practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
> <Better to practice with small amounts.
>
> Exactly what I was thinking!!
>
> amy g
> in a little warmer iowa
> but still snow on the ground
> and kids are in shorts at 55 degrees... [:O]
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-My 12 yo son would want someone else in charge. He's never cared
much about money
and whenever there is money of his involved he always asks me or his
dad to keep it for
him so it doesn't get lost.-=-
I'm 54 and if we're somewhere out of town or at a crowded place like
the State Fair, I want Keith or Marty to hold my money. I'll keep $5
or $10. I'll keep my cards, but I don't want to have a substantial
amount of cash.
Kirby used to keep track of his allowance on the calendar instead of
claiming it. He would do bookkeeping right there in public, so if he
took money out of his balance he'd debit that, and each week he would
up the balance. We dreaded the day when it would be several months
in and he'd cash out. Ouch! But it was banking we didn't teach him
or foist on him. It was his idea.
-=-"I was actually surprised at how many parents actually had the
coaches hold the girls money."-=-
There's a world of difference between choosing to entrust someone
with your money and having someone else say "You can't hold your own
money."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
much about money
and whenever there is money of his involved he always asks me or his
dad to keep it for
him so it doesn't get lost.-=-
I'm 54 and if we're somewhere out of town or at a crowded place like
the State Fair, I want Keith or Marty to hold my money. I'll keep $5
or $10. I'll keep my cards, but I don't want to have a substantial
amount of cash.
Kirby used to keep track of his allowance on the calendar instead of
claiming it. He would do bookkeeping right there in public, so if he
took money out of his balance he'd debit that, and each week he would
up the balance. We dreaded the day when it would be several months
in and he'd cash out. Ouch! But it was banking we didn't teach him
or foist on him. It was his idea.
-=-"I was actually surprised at how many parents actually had the
coaches hold the girls money."-=-
There's a world of difference between choosing to entrust someone
with your money and having someone else say "You can't hold your own
money."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Mar 12, 2008, at 12:55 PM, graberamy wrote:
THAT was one of the best things we ever did - making that list. We had
lots of conversation about what should be at the top of the list and
lots of good discussion about trade-offs. Realistically, we couldn't
just always buy everything immediately. So it was really good for all
of us to look at the list and see things like, "Well, if I bought
these three new games, that would be over a hundred dollars, so if I
don't buy the games, I could put that toward the new game system,
instead." It is REALLY hard for kids (and lots of adults) to think of
buying things in terms of what they're giving up - but that is the
REAL cost and the relevant information for making good decisions that
we end up happy with.
I remember how surprised and gratified I was to hear the kids saying
we should get something for their dad or me or one of their siblings,
even when it meant a delay in getting what they wanted. They took into
account how MUCH someone else would enjoy something or how much they
needed it.
Roya was the most impulsive spender in our family - but now she's 23
and has a full-time career and is 100% responsible for herself. She
just bought a car, she has health insurance, she is paying off her own
student loan and she had a performance review at her job this week and
they gave her a 6% raise! She's careful with her money and she saves
some out of every paycheck.
Roxana is now 20 - about 3 years ago I gave her an atm card for my
regular bank account - so she has total access to our checking and
savings and credit card. I also got her a credit card in her own name.
I never worry that she's going to take out too much - if she needs a
lot, she brings it up in advance. She has been involved in theater and
often goes out to eat after rehearsals or shows and she can always get
cash if she needs it. She takes college classes and can get cash for
lunch money or to pay for books or supplies. Sometimes she gets a
little extra cash to offer to pay for gas when she has friends driving
her here and there. She doesn't take the money and spend it
frivolously - she's careful with it. Rox is in France now and living
on her own in an apartment - I don't worry about her going nuts and
overspending. In fact, I have to remind her that this is a big giant
life-changing experience and it is okay to splurge (she didn't go to
EuroDisney because we live right by Disneyland - been there a million
times - and she thought EuroDisney was too expensive).
Rosie is the same way - she's now 17, and she has her own money
because she gets paid to teach martial arts classes. But she's careful
with it - not foolish. She's saved up about $1400 for a trip to New
York City (taking the train from Southern California to NYC, staying
there a week, taking the train back home - ANYBODY with any possible
leads on affordable places to stay for 7 people in Manhattan - please
contact me offlist).
We didn't "teach" them to handle money - they learned by handling it
at whatever level they could. We did give them about $50 per month,
once they were in their early teens, specifically for buying their own
clothes and for gifts for friends. Interestingly, they'd still ask for
my opinion about their clothes, but - it was THEIR money and that made
a difference in my attitude. II wasn't my decision whether it was
worth buying or not worth buying.
When they were even littler, we'd give them money to spend that day.
If we went to Disneyland, we might give them each $10 and say, "That's
pretty much the money we can afford for treats or souvenirs for
today." If they wanted something, they'd spend it. Sometimes they
wouldn't spend it. OFTEN they pooled their money to get something.
Sometimes one would give some of hers to a sister who really wanted
something too expensive. Sometimes I'd see that there was something
they wanted that they couldn't afford and I'd buy it as a gift for
them, maybe for later. Anyway, all kinds of possibilities - we weren't
rigid about this. But it was nice for them to have their own money as
often as possible, I think, because it made their decision "theirs"
and my dh and I didn't feel any ownership of their spending decisions.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> <Kids who don't have money when they're little do theirWe always had a family master list of things to get when we could.
> <practicing with larger amounts, sometimes with serious consequences.
> <Better to practice with small amounts.
THAT was one of the best things we ever did - making that list. We had
lots of conversation about what should be at the top of the list and
lots of good discussion about trade-offs. Realistically, we couldn't
just always buy everything immediately. So it was really good for all
of us to look at the list and see things like, "Well, if I bought
these three new games, that would be over a hundred dollars, so if I
don't buy the games, I could put that toward the new game system,
instead." It is REALLY hard for kids (and lots of adults) to think of
buying things in terms of what they're giving up - but that is the
REAL cost and the relevant information for making good decisions that
we end up happy with.
I remember how surprised and gratified I was to hear the kids saying
we should get something for their dad or me or one of their siblings,
even when it meant a delay in getting what they wanted. They took into
account how MUCH someone else would enjoy something or how much they
needed it.
Roya was the most impulsive spender in our family - but now she's 23
and has a full-time career and is 100% responsible for herself. She
just bought a car, she has health insurance, she is paying off her own
student loan and she had a performance review at her job this week and
they gave her a 6% raise! She's careful with her money and she saves
some out of every paycheck.
Roxana is now 20 - about 3 years ago I gave her an atm card for my
regular bank account - so she has total access to our checking and
savings and credit card. I also got her a credit card in her own name.
I never worry that she's going to take out too much - if she needs a
lot, she brings it up in advance. She has been involved in theater and
often goes out to eat after rehearsals or shows and she can always get
cash if she needs it. She takes college classes and can get cash for
lunch money or to pay for books or supplies. Sometimes she gets a
little extra cash to offer to pay for gas when she has friends driving
her here and there. She doesn't take the money and spend it
frivolously - she's careful with it. Rox is in France now and living
on her own in an apartment - I don't worry about her going nuts and
overspending. In fact, I have to remind her that this is a big giant
life-changing experience and it is okay to splurge (she didn't go to
EuroDisney because we live right by Disneyland - been there a million
times - and she thought EuroDisney was too expensive).
Rosie is the same way - she's now 17, and she has her own money
because she gets paid to teach martial arts classes. But she's careful
with it - not foolish. She's saved up about $1400 for a trip to New
York City (taking the train from Southern California to NYC, staying
there a week, taking the train back home - ANYBODY with any possible
leads on affordable places to stay for 7 people in Manhattan - please
contact me offlist).
We didn't "teach" them to handle money - they learned by handling it
at whatever level they could. We did give them about $50 per month,
once they were in their early teens, specifically for buying their own
clothes and for gifts for friends. Interestingly, they'd still ask for
my opinion about their clothes, but - it was THEIR money and that made
a difference in my attitude. II wasn't my decision whether it was
worth buying or not worth buying.
When they were even littler, we'd give them money to spend that day.
If we went to Disneyland, we might give them each $10 and say, "That's
pretty much the money we can afford for treats or souvenirs for
today." If they wanted something, they'd spend it. Sometimes they
wouldn't spend it. OFTEN they pooled their money to get something.
Sometimes one would give some of hers to a sister who really wanted
something too expensive. Sometimes I'd see that there was something
they wanted that they couldn't afford and I'd buy it as a gift for
them, maybe for later. Anyway, all kinds of possibilities - we weren't
rigid about this. But it was nice for them to have their own money as
often as possible, I think, because it made their decision "theirs"
and my dh and I didn't feel any ownership of their spending decisions.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-But it was nice for them to have their own money as
often as possible, I think, because it made their decision "theirs"
and my dh and I didn't feel any ownership of their spending
decisions.-=-
I remember as a kid feeling like a beggar or whiner and then being
told "no" a lot. Although it was pre-70's inflation, my allowance as
a kid was 35 cents and in college $5. So I got an on-campus student
job pretty quickly.
When my allowance was 35 cents, candy bars were five cents (Mounds
and Almost joy were ten cents) and penny candy was still freely
available. Decent bubble gum was available for a penny. Paperback
books were 50 cents.
My kids' allowance has started when they were 5 or 6, and was 75
cents per year of age per week. Holly still gets allowance. $12 a
week, this year. She babysits sometimes too, for money. She's fed
dogs and she housesat in the past month.
When she was five she got $3.75 and things she wanted were often $5
or $10, so she saved, and happily!
We have offered to lend Kirby money, when he started talking about
moving to Texas. He borrowed *once,* when their deposits were due
before their first paychecks came.
I'm very happy with my children's money sense.
Yesterday they were going to go play laser tag. I went and got cash
to give them (out-of-town homeschoolers wanted them to meet them to
play, so I figured I didn't mind paying for it, especially since I
was opting out to stay home and cook for my Wednesday night get-
together). Marty still had $40 of the $50 Keith had given him for
last weekend, so they used that.
Before they left, Marty came and printed out coupons for the place.
I wouldn't have thought of that. So he printed out enough for them
and the other family too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
often as possible, I think, because it made their decision "theirs"
and my dh and I didn't feel any ownership of their spending
decisions.-=-
I remember as a kid feeling like a beggar or whiner and then being
told "no" a lot. Although it was pre-70's inflation, my allowance as
a kid was 35 cents and in college $5. So I got an on-campus student
job pretty quickly.
When my allowance was 35 cents, candy bars were five cents (Mounds
and Almost joy were ten cents) and penny candy was still freely
available. Decent bubble gum was available for a penny. Paperback
books were 50 cents.
My kids' allowance has started when they were 5 or 6, and was 75
cents per year of age per week. Holly still gets allowance. $12 a
week, this year. She babysits sometimes too, for money. She's fed
dogs and she housesat in the past month.
When she was five she got $3.75 and things she wanted were often $5
or $10, so she saved, and happily!
We have offered to lend Kirby money, when he started talking about
moving to Texas. He borrowed *once,* when their deposits were due
before their first paychecks came.
I'm very happy with my children's money sense.
Yesterday they were going to go play laser tag. I went and got cash
to give them (out-of-town homeschoolers wanted them to meet them to
play, so I figured I didn't mind paying for it, especially since I
was opting out to stay home and cook for my Wednesday night get-
together). Marty still had $40 of the $50 Keith had given him for
last weekend, so they used that.
Before they left, Marty came and printed out coupons for the place.
I wouldn't have thought of that. So he printed out enough for them
and the other family too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I don't have a page about allowances (yet!) but I found these bits to
bring for consideration in this discussion.
**************
On how children will make choices about how to spend money (Joyce
Fetteroll, then Pam Sorooshian):
There's the common thought that if they're "indulged" they'll never
understand the value of money. But with my daughter that didn't prove
true and I don't think the common thought has any basis. It's just fear.
Joyce
RIGHT!
It is a left-over idea that children won't learn what we don't
directly teach them. We know that's not true. They WANT to be
competent and capable and they will want to live good lives in which
they will think about what makes sense to get what they want and do
what they want. it is once again a matter of trust—trusting that
they'll "grow up" and that if we don't mess with them, if we don't
warp them in some way, they'll make conscious decisions about money.
NO different than food issues at all —if we keep at them about what
they eat or don't eat—if we bug them all the time, if we say, "You
can eat anything you want, but, oh, honey, do you really want to eat
just cake for breakfast, don't you think you should have some eggs?"
then we undermine their own sense of self, their own sense of making
their own choices, their own chance to make their own "little"
mistakes. Their eating, as adults, will STILL be somehow controlled
by that controlling mommy voice in our heads—and, as teens and
adults, we very often tend to be resistant to it—which means that we
find ourselves as ADULTS, eating too much cake while hearing, "You
shouldn't be eating that," over and over in our heads.
Do we want our kids to grow up and find themselves spending money on
the adult equivalent of junky little things while hearing, "You
shouldn't be buying that," over and over in their heads?
Trust them.
Be their support system. I want so much for my kids to grow up and
hear that mommy voice in their head saying positive supportive
things, not tearing them down, but encouraging them - and especially
not a voice to be resisted. This drives me. I don't do it all that
well - but what I focus on is awareness of what they're likely
hearing/saying to themselves in response to what I'm saying out loud.
-pam
**************
That's from http://sandradodd.com/choice
and here's some more:
http://sandradodd.com/spoiled
Sandra
bring for consideration in this discussion.
**************
On how children will make choices about how to spend money (Joyce
Fetteroll, then Pam Sorooshian):
There's the common thought that if they're "indulged" they'll never
understand the value of money. But with my daughter that didn't prove
true and I don't think the common thought has any basis. It's just fear.
Joyce
RIGHT!
It is a left-over idea that children won't learn what we don't
directly teach them. We know that's not true. They WANT to be
competent and capable and they will want to live good lives in which
they will think about what makes sense to get what they want and do
what they want. it is once again a matter of trust—trusting that
they'll "grow up" and that if we don't mess with them, if we don't
warp them in some way, they'll make conscious decisions about money.
NO different than food issues at all —if we keep at them about what
they eat or don't eat—if we bug them all the time, if we say, "You
can eat anything you want, but, oh, honey, do you really want to eat
just cake for breakfast, don't you think you should have some eggs?"
then we undermine their own sense of self, their own sense of making
their own choices, their own chance to make their own "little"
mistakes. Their eating, as adults, will STILL be somehow controlled
by that controlling mommy voice in our heads—and, as teens and
adults, we very often tend to be resistant to it—which means that we
find ourselves as ADULTS, eating too much cake while hearing, "You
shouldn't be eating that," over and over in our heads.
Do we want our kids to grow up and find themselves spending money on
the adult equivalent of junky little things while hearing, "You
shouldn't be buying that," over and over in their heads?
Trust them.
Be their support system. I want so much for my kids to grow up and
hear that mommy voice in their head saying positive supportive
things, not tearing them down, but encouraging them - and especially
not a voice to be resisted. This drives me. I don't do it all that
well - but what I focus on is awareness of what they're likely
hearing/saying to themselves in response to what I'm saying out loud.
-pam
**************
That's from http://sandradodd.com/choice
and here's some more:
http://sandradodd.com/spoiled
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/12/2008 5:17:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Sandra@... writes:
<<<I never stole from my parents, but I had
friends who did. They'd go into their dad's wallet or their mom's
purse or the "cookie jar" (whatever change stash there was) regularly.>>>
I did-twice. Once was from my mom's purse, $2 that was visible in the open
zipper. My mother had told me since I could remember, "Don't ever steal. If you
need money, ASK me." Problem was, when I *did* ask, I got asked in return
what it was for and I don't ever remember anything being "valid" enough in her
realm of reasoning to say yes. I asked and asked but the answer was always,
"No." So, I made my own "yes".
The second was the stash of change my dad had in his wardrobe. I was
young-ish (11?). Definitely inexperienced and unaware of many things-I was
"sheltered". Those dusty old coins in jars and bowls in his wardrobe just sat there
getting older and dustier. In my realm of understanding at the time, old and
dusty meant less worth. So, when I wanted some candy one day (candy was
definitely forbidden except for special occasions), I dug out a dollar or two's
worth of dimes and nickels and took them to our local store in our small town. My
mom's friend was a cashier there and asked my mom later on if we had gone to
Canada on vacation and my thievery was discovered. My mother explained while
she yelled at me that my dad had collected those coins over the years and
that they were OLD (and from the way she said it, I understood that old coins
had value-more value than new coins! Go figure...) and that he'd collected some
of those coins from places he'd been while he was onboard his aircraft
carrier in the Navy and that he'd been saving them for years to pass down to his
son. My dad built a wooden box in the bottom of that wardrobe with a padlock
on it and it stayed locked until I inherited the wardrobe after they built
closets in their bedroom. That box broke my heart. Everytime I looked at my
dad's wardrobe, it was a reminder. After it was explained to me the value, both
investment-wise *and* sentimental-wise, I would never have taken that money
again, so to top it off with a locked box for the coins made me feel worse than
the label of thief. It meant to me that my dear dad thought I didn't care
about his feelings-which was certainly not true! And 30+ years later, my
parents still think of me as untrustworthy. A thief. For $4 or less. For two
instances as a kid. Funny how money has so much unseen value and so much weight in
our society...
Peace,
De
**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money &
Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolprf00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra@... writes:
<<<I never stole from my parents, but I had
friends who did. They'd go into their dad's wallet or their mom's
purse or the "cookie jar" (whatever change stash there was) regularly.>>>
I did-twice. Once was from my mom's purse, $2 that was visible in the open
zipper. My mother had told me since I could remember, "Don't ever steal. If you
need money, ASK me." Problem was, when I *did* ask, I got asked in return
what it was for and I don't ever remember anything being "valid" enough in her
realm of reasoning to say yes. I asked and asked but the answer was always,
"No." So, I made my own "yes".
The second was the stash of change my dad had in his wardrobe. I was
young-ish (11?). Definitely inexperienced and unaware of many things-I was
"sheltered". Those dusty old coins in jars and bowls in his wardrobe just sat there
getting older and dustier. In my realm of understanding at the time, old and
dusty meant less worth. So, when I wanted some candy one day (candy was
definitely forbidden except for special occasions), I dug out a dollar or two's
worth of dimes and nickels and took them to our local store in our small town. My
mom's friend was a cashier there and asked my mom later on if we had gone to
Canada on vacation and my thievery was discovered. My mother explained while
she yelled at me that my dad had collected those coins over the years and
that they were OLD (and from the way she said it, I understood that old coins
had value-more value than new coins! Go figure...) and that he'd collected some
of those coins from places he'd been while he was onboard his aircraft
carrier in the Navy and that he'd been saving them for years to pass down to his
son. My dad built a wooden box in the bottom of that wardrobe with a padlock
on it and it stayed locked until I inherited the wardrobe after they built
closets in their bedroom. That box broke my heart. Everytime I looked at my
dad's wardrobe, it was a reminder. After it was explained to me the value, both
investment-wise *and* sentimental-wise, I would never have taken that money
again, so to top it off with a locked box for the coins made me feel worse than
the label of thief. It meant to me that my dear dad thought I didn't care
about his feelings-which was certainly not true! And 30+ years later, my
parents still think of me as untrustworthy. A thief. For $4 or less. For two
instances as a kid. Funny how money has so much unseen value and so much weight in
our society...
Peace,
De
**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money &
Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolprf00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marla
Both of our kids (11 yo. and 6 yo.) get an "allowance" of $10 each week. There are no expectations or "chores" attached to their "allowance." It is never taken away as punishment (as we don't believe in punishment, something that we continue to work on-LOL). We believe that it is given for being part of the family. Plus, our kids do help out when asked (though, we ask with no expectation, so if they say "no," that's fine).
However, the 6 yo. adores money and wants more every day. She asked if she did many things around the house (i.e. clean the fridge, etc.) could she get more money. I told her that there were other ways she could make money, such as through selling her old toys or clothes on ebay or making jewelry or other things to sell at our local farmer's market or on ebay. I really don't feel comfortable paying her for individual jobs that are contributions to the family. We tried it once and she asked to be paid for everything, from picking a piece of paper off the floor to cleaning the toilet. I feel that her "allowance" covers these things, whether she does them or not.
What are your thoughts?
Thanks!
Marla
However, the 6 yo. adores money and wants more every day. She asked if she did many things around the house (i.e. clean the fridge, etc.) could she get more money. I told her that there were other ways she could make money, such as through selling her old toys or clothes on ebay or making jewelry or other things to sell at our local farmer's market or on ebay. I really don't feel comfortable paying her for individual jobs that are contributions to the family. We tried it once and she asked to be paid for everything, from picking a piece of paper off the floor to cleaning the toilet. I feel that her "allowance" covers these things, whether she does them or not.
What are your thoughts?
Thanks!
Marla
Pam Sorooshian
On 4/7/2010 8:00 PM, Marla wrote:
take a penny out of the jar every time she does something she thinks is
worth a penny. Leave it to her to decide. It won't last long, probalby,
but she'll do a whole lot of counting and adding while it is happening.
If she collects a lot of pennies, play a "trading game" with her - trade
her a dime for 10 pennies and a dollar bill for 10 dimes.
You sound too tense about money and chores. Lighten up. Look for how you
can support your children's interests.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> What are your thoughts?She's only 6. Have fun with it. Get a HUGE jar of pennies and let her
take a penny out of the jar every time she does something she thinks is
worth a penny. Leave it to her to decide. It won't last long, probalby,
but she'll do a whole lot of counting and adding while it is happening.
If she collects a lot of pennies, play a "trading game" with her - trade
her a dime for 10 pennies and a dollar bill for 10 dimes.
You sound too tense about money and chores. Lighten up. Look for how you
can support your children's interests.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-She's only 6. Have fun with it. Get a HUGE jar of pennies and let her
take a penny out of the jar every time she does something she thinks is
worth a penny. Leave it to her to decide. It won't last long, probalby,
but she'll do a whole lot of counting and adding while it is happening.
If she collects a lot of pennies, play a "trading game" with her - trade
her a dime for 10 pennies and a dollar bill for 10 dimes.-=-
We used to "gamble." It was a trivia game, played with the kids' own
change and my change jar. I'd get those sets of cards with a rivet
through one end that had trivia questions at school-grade levels and
there were variations on the play, but I wouldn't usually ask
questions one of them didn't know the answer to. If I did, it was
because the answer would be interesting for some reason. Sometimes
we would have the globe there, in case of country or ocean or
continent questions, but it went quickly.
We always did it up on my bed, sitting in a circle. I would ask a
question and if the kid whose turn it was knew, I'd throw a penny at
his bowl or whatever he had brought to the bed to hold his money. If
it was easy and he knew but missed, he would throw me a penny. If
the kid just didn't know, the question would pass to the next kid. It
was always exciting if the boys missed and Holly knew. Sometimes I
would start with Holly. Sometimes it was a rotation, and sometimes I
would name the kid I was aiming the question at (probably the one who
hadn't won a penny in the past few turns).
If the answer was really good, they'd get two pennies. If the
question was flawed and the answer involved pointing out that flaw,
I'd give them two or three, or a nickel.
We played it for fun and funny, and it was usually Kirby's idea. Or
if they were bored, or if Kirby wanted to go down and buy collectible
cards from the card shop around the corner, that sold them
individually, and that had used action figures and such. As soon as
it was boring, we quit, so sometimes it was a five or ten minute
session, and sometimes it went longer.
I would try to add something sometimes, like if it was spelling and
the spelling was tricky and I knew the history of that word, I'd say a
tiny little bit, to clarify. If it was where a country was or an
ocean, I might say "near Greece" or "right on the equator" or something.
It wasn't "allowance" and it was never much money, but it was fun, and
it was a way I got to know some of the things they knew that they
hadn't been taught, and it gave the younger kids an opportunity to
show Kirby up a little (which wasn't easy in those days).
Holly probably doesn't even remember it, because we never played it
after we moved and they had their own rooms and weren't so crowded and
needful of cheering up. My bed wasn't the gathering place after they
had their own rooms. At the old house, they all shared one room.
Another idea is maybe she would like a video game that "collects gold"
or coins or points. Neopets or something.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
take a penny out of the jar every time she does something she thinks is
worth a penny. Leave it to her to decide. It won't last long, probalby,
but she'll do a whole lot of counting and adding while it is happening.
If she collects a lot of pennies, play a "trading game" with her - trade
her a dime for 10 pennies and a dollar bill for 10 dimes.-=-
We used to "gamble." It was a trivia game, played with the kids' own
change and my change jar. I'd get those sets of cards with a rivet
through one end that had trivia questions at school-grade levels and
there were variations on the play, but I wouldn't usually ask
questions one of them didn't know the answer to. If I did, it was
because the answer would be interesting for some reason. Sometimes
we would have the globe there, in case of country or ocean or
continent questions, but it went quickly.
We always did it up on my bed, sitting in a circle. I would ask a
question and if the kid whose turn it was knew, I'd throw a penny at
his bowl or whatever he had brought to the bed to hold his money. If
it was easy and he knew but missed, he would throw me a penny. If
the kid just didn't know, the question would pass to the next kid. It
was always exciting if the boys missed and Holly knew. Sometimes I
would start with Holly. Sometimes it was a rotation, and sometimes I
would name the kid I was aiming the question at (probably the one who
hadn't won a penny in the past few turns).
If the answer was really good, they'd get two pennies. If the
question was flawed and the answer involved pointing out that flaw,
I'd give them two or three, or a nickel.
We played it for fun and funny, and it was usually Kirby's idea. Or
if they were bored, or if Kirby wanted to go down and buy collectible
cards from the card shop around the corner, that sold them
individually, and that had used action figures and such. As soon as
it was boring, we quit, so sometimes it was a five or ten minute
session, and sometimes it went longer.
I would try to add something sometimes, like if it was spelling and
the spelling was tricky and I knew the history of that word, I'd say a
tiny little bit, to clarify. If it was where a country was or an
ocean, I might say "near Greece" or "right on the equator" or something.
It wasn't "allowance" and it was never much money, but it was fun, and
it was a way I got to know some of the things they knew that they
hadn't been taught, and it gave the younger kids an opportunity to
show Kirby up a little (which wasn't easy in those days).
Holly probably doesn't even remember it, because we never played it
after we moved and they had their own rooms and weren't so crowded and
needful of cheering up. My bed wasn't the gathering place after they
had their own rooms. At the old house, they all shared one room.
Another idea is maybe she would like a video game that "collects gold"
or coins or points. Neopets or something.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marla
I agree, Pam. I'm stressed about money. Unfortunately my husband just took a pretty significant pay cut (though he's leaving a job he has hated for the last 10 years and has really caused a lot of stress in and out of the home, so it's a good thing, too - LOL). So, we are working out the new budget and are feeling stressed right now. I know once we've been at it a few months, we'll feel better.
I also admit that my dh and I have always had negative issues around money, so Lily is definitely bringing up some old stuff in us that we haven't figured out how to work through, yet. She just loves money - LOL. She spends her days counting coins to see if she can get a dollar or two (her favorite is "I'll give you 3 quarters for a dollar." and she knows all too well that there are 4 quarters in a dollar - LOL). She also has free access to one of our extra coin jars, to dig around in for extra money. I know a lot of this does have to do with me and my dh working out our money issues and with our recent cut in salary, so over time things should get better. Just can't see the forest through the trees right now.
Thanks again for your input!
Marla
I also admit that my dh and I have always had negative issues around money, so Lily is definitely bringing up some old stuff in us that we haven't figured out how to work through, yet. She just loves money - LOL. She spends her days counting coins to see if she can get a dollar or two (her favorite is "I'll give you 3 quarters for a dollar." and she knows all too well that there are 4 quarters in a dollar - LOL). She also has free access to one of our extra coin jars, to dig around in for extra money. I know a lot of this does have to do with me and my dh working out our money issues and with our recent cut in salary, so over time things should get better. Just can't see the forest through the trees right now.
Thanks again for your input!
Marla
wtexans
This is long, but it's about how Andrew's allowance has changed over the years, including the most recent change that happened today when I had an "aha!" moment.
Andrew, who's 11, has been getting an allowance since age 4. We started off doing a weekly allowance equivalent to his age, and did that for four or five years.
Once he really got into video games, saving a weekly allowance until he had enough money to buy one game was frustrating for him, so he asked to start receiving his allowance monthly. Around that same time, we started giving him a flat $50/month -- that generally covered any game purchases he wanted in a month's time. If he and I were both interested in the same game, then we'd split the cost of it.
A year and a half ago, Andrew discovered the Xbox 360. Those games tend to run $59.99 new, but most of the time the $50/month allowance worked just fine because he'd plan ahead for upcoming games and budget accordingly -- sometimes Rodney and I would buy a game for him when we could, and my mom and other relatives here always give cash or gift cards to Andrew for birthdays and Christmas so that he can buy games he wants.
But in the last month or two, I've noticed his allowance just isn't jiving with his gaming wants. He's become more and more interested in older games, some of which can be downloaded onto the Xbox or Wii or PS2, some of which can be found used on Amazon or Ebay, most of which aren't available to rent. He reads and watches online reviews, then researches online to see if the games can be found and how much they cost -- he's being thoughtful about what he wants. He loves comparing these old games to each other and to newer versions, and writing his own reviews of them, and making video playthroughs (to post on YouTube) for them.
Last night we were at the video game store and he was looking through a gaming guide. I offered to buy it for him because he has the game that corresponds to it rented right now, with the intent to buy the game when he can. He was kind of glum and said he didn't know when he'd be able to buy the game because it's $59.99 -- if he used May's allowance + the $10 he has left this month, he can get the game at the first of May, but then he wouldn't have money left to buy another game until June. It wasn't a "poor me" kind of thing at all; he was simply bummed that if he bought the game, he wouldn't have allowance to buy another game until June. I told him that I'd split the cost of the game with him in May, so that he would still be able to buy downloadable games or whatever, and that cheered him up.
Then, in the shower this morning, I had one of those "Duh! Why didn't I think of this sooner???" thoughts. I realized that it's time to adjust his allowance so that it better meets his needs. I talked with my husband about it and we agreed to double Andrew's allowance. I know some parents would freak about the idea of a $100/month allowance -- in fact, my hubby and I both freaked a little about it ourselves [g]. But when we put it into perspective, we agreed that it's something we can afford to do right now, so we will.
Some of the things we considered that helped us put it into perspective:
~ Other than the cost of Xbox Live, this is really the only consistent monthly expense we have for Andrew. At the end of March, Andrew opted to drop out of the acting class he was taking because he wasn't enjoying it. That class was $45/month, so freeing that up offsets the increase in allowance (we didn't present it to Andrew that way, but for budgeting purposes it helped Rodney and I to keep this in mind).
~ If Andrew was in school, there would be expenses related to that, and his allowance would be above and beyond those expenses. We don't have school-related expenses, so why not adjust his allowance to reflect that.
~ Andrew has never had expectations that we would buy things for him that exceeded his allowance. Sometimes we offer to -- sometimes he accepts those offers, other times he doesn't. For the past five-ish years, he's been very thoughtful with his allowance, planning ahead and budgeting for the things he's wanted to buy with it -- in fact, I've commented to him many times that he's been a good example for me in that respect, and it's true! While some people would say he's spoiled for getting a $50/month allowance, he's shown that he's responsible with his spending and he doesn't expect us to pick up the difference when his allowance is less than his wants. He's truly appreciative of getting an allowance.
My hubby is working out of town this week, so after he and I talked and agreed upon the allowance increase, I asked if he'd like to share the news with Andrew -- it was so cool watching the ear-to-ear smile spread across Andrew's face as they talked. I headed outside while they finished chatting, and Andrew came outside after they were done and gave me a big hug and thanked me (Rodney had told him it was my idea). I told him we were happy to do it for him.
He said he knew that if things got really tight financially, we might have to decrease it but that would be okay with him -- and I know he means it. He's seen that I've always treated his allowance with the same importance I treat other monthly bills -- it's budgeted and given to him when I pay bills each month, rather than being treated as an afterthought. That part is particularly important to me, not treating his allowance as an afterthought -- when I was a kid, even though we were supposed to get an allowance, actually getting it was sporadic, yet my mom and stepdad would somehow have "extras", which I thought was terribly unfair. So, for me, making sure I have Andrew's allowance money for him when he's supposed to get has always been important to me, even back when he was 4 and didn't yet know the days of the week to know which day was Friday (ie, allowance day) [g].
So, that's been our journey thus far regarding allowances. I'm open to the idea of Andrew's allowance possibly increasing again a time or two before he reaches driving age. Hopefully it won't take me as long to notice when it's time for another change [g]!!
Glenda
Andrew, who's 11, has been getting an allowance since age 4. We started off doing a weekly allowance equivalent to his age, and did that for four or five years.
Once he really got into video games, saving a weekly allowance until he had enough money to buy one game was frustrating for him, so he asked to start receiving his allowance monthly. Around that same time, we started giving him a flat $50/month -- that generally covered any game purchases he wanted in a month's time. If he and I were both interested in the same game, then we'd split the cost of it.
A year and a half ago, Andrew discovered the Xbox 360. Those games tend to run $59.99 new, but most of the time the $50/month allowance worked just fine because he'd plan ahead for upcoming games and budget accordingly -- sometimes Rodney and I would buy a game for him when we could, and my mom and other relatives here always give cash or gift cards to Andrew for birthdays and Christmas so that he can buy games he wants.
But in the last month or two, I've noticed his allowance just isn't jiving with his gaming wants. He's become more and more interested in older games, some of which can be downloaded onto the Xbox or Wii or PS2, some of which can be found used on Amazon or Ebay, most of which aren't available to rent. He reads and watches online reviews, then researches online to see if the games can be found and how much they cost -- he's being thoughtful about what he wants. He loves comparing these old games to each other and to newer versions, and writing his own reviews of them, and making video playthroughs (to post on YouTube) for them.
Last night we were at the video game store and he was looking through a gaming guide. I offered to buy it for him because he has the game that corresponds to it rented right now, with the intent to buy the game when he can. He was kind of glum and said he didn't know when he'd be able to buy the game because it's $59.99 -- if he used May's allowance + the $10 he has left this month, he can get the game at the first of May, but then he wouldn't have money left to buy another game until June. It wasn't a "poor me" kind of thing at all; he was simply bummed that if he bought the game, he wouldn't have allowance to buy another game until June. I told him that I'd split the cost of the game with him in May, so that he would still be able to buy downloadable games or whatever, and that cheered him up.
Then, in the shower this morning, I had one of those "Duh! Why didn't I think of this sooner???" thoughts. I realized that it's time to adjust his allowance so that it better meets his needs. I talked with my husband about it and we agreed to double Andrew's allowance. I know some parents would freak about the idea of a $100/month allowance -- in fact, my hubby and I both freaked a little about it ourselves [g]. But when we put it into perspective, we agreed that it's something we can afford to do right now, so we will.
Some of the things we considered that helped us put it into perspective:
~ Other than the cost of Xbox Live, this is really the only consistent monthly expense we have for Andrew. At the end of March, Andrew opted to drop out of the acting class he was taking because he wasn't enjoying it. That class was $45/month, so freeing that up offsets the increase in allowance (we didn't present it to Andrew that way, but for budgeting purposes it helped Rodney and I to keep this in mind).
~ If Andrew was in school, there would be expenses related to that, and his allowance would be above and beyond those expenses. We don't have school-related expenses, so why not adjust his allowance to reflect that.
~ Andrew has never had expectations that we would buy things for him that exceeded his allowance. Sometimes we offer to -- sometimes he accepts those offers, other times he doesn't. For the past five-ish years, he's been very thoughtful with his allowance, planning ahead and budgeting for the things he's wanted to buy with it -- in fact, I've commented to him many times that he's been a good example for me in that respect, and it's true! While some people would say he's spoiled for getting a $50/month allowance, he's shown that he's responsible with his spending and he doesn't expect us to pick up the difference when his allowance is less than his wants. He's truly appreciative of getting an allowance.
My hubby is working out of town this week, so after he and I talked and agreed upon the allowance increase, I asked if he'd like to share the news with Andrew -- it was so cool watching the ear-to-ear smile spread across Andrew's face as they talked. I headed outside while they finished chatting, and Andrew came outside after they were done and gave me a big hug and thanked me (Rodney had told him it was my idea). I told him we were happy to do it for him.
He said he knew that if things got really tight financially, we might have to decrease it but that would be okay with him -- and I know he means it. He's seen that I've always treated his allowance with the same importance I treat other monthly bills -- it's budgeted and given to him when I pay bills each month, rather than being treated as an afterthought. That part is particularly important to me, not treating his allowance as an afterthought -- when I was a kid, even though we were supposed to get an allowance, actually getting it was sporadic, yet my mom and stepdad would somehow have "extras", which I thought was terribly unfair. So, for me, making sure I have Andrew's allowance money for him when he's supposed to get has always been important to me, even back when he was 4 and didn't yet know the days of the week to know which day was Friday (ie, allowance day) [g].
So, that's been our journey thus far regarding allowances. I'm open to the idea of Andrew's allowance possibly increasing again a time or two before he reaches driving age. Hopefully it won't take me as long to notice when it's time for another change [g]!!
Glenda
Beverly
--- In [email protected], "Marla" <marla@...> wrote:
>My mother had an interesting way of dealing with our needs for extra money. Although we received a weekly allowance, she had page of things that needed to be done either regularly or occasionally that were outside of the realm of our regular helping. She hated to pair socks so offered $.05 for each pair matched. You could do one pair, or a basket full, however much you needed. Weed pulling, baseboard dusting ...on and on. The list was posted and changed as needed, with the going rate for each job posted. We each had a file card and tracked our own work on it...collecting our extra money as needed.
> However, the 6 yo. adores money and wants more every day. She asked if she did many things around the house (i.e. clean the fridge, etc.) could she get more money.... I feel that her "allowance" covers these things, whether she does them or not.
Debra Garner
My parents did something similar- we had a a base allowance but could earn more by doing extra jobs.
Blessings, Debra
http://veganfamilystyle.blogspot.com
From: Beverly
Sent: Thursday, April 08, 2010 6:09 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Allowance
My mother had an interesting way of dealing with our needs for extra money. Although we received a weekly allowance, she had page of things that needed to be done either regularly or occasionally that were outside of the realm of our regular helping. She hated to pair socks so offered $.05 for each pair matched. You could do one pair, or a basket full, however much you needed. Weed pulling, baseboard dusting ...on and on. The list was posted and changed as needed, with the going rate for each job posted. We each had a file card and tracked our own work on it...collecting our extra money as needed.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5011 (20100408) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Blessings, Debra
http://veganfamilystyle.blogspot.com
From: Beverly
Sent: Thursday, April 08, 2010 6:09 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Allowance
My mother had an interesting way of dealing with our needs for extra money. Although we received a weekly allowance, she had page of things that needed to be done either regularly or occasionally that were outside of the realm of our regular helping. She hated to pair socks so offered $.05 for each pair matched. You could do one pair, or a basket full, however much you needed. Weed pulling, baseboard dusting ...on and on. The list was posted and changed as needed, with the going rate for each job posted. We each had a file card and tracked our own work on it...collecting our extra money as needed.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5011 (20100408) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wtexans
===She just loves money===
Marla, in general, does she spend it as she gets it, or does she simply like accruing it?
If accruing it is what she enjoys, could you give her a month's allowance all at once? If so, you could get forty $1 bills -- that's a nice little mountain of money to pile on the bed and look at [g]. Or maybe split it up so she gets $5 or $10 in quarters + some $1 bills + some $5 bills.
When our son was younger, when my hubby's change jar would get full, he'd give it to our son and tell him he could have the dollars once we exchanged the change for dollars (which we'd do that day or the next). It would only happen about twice a year, but it'd be anywhere from $50 or $60 each time, which was a huge treat for kiddo. (Now that he's older and gets a larger allowance, the change jar is dedicated as "vacation fun money".)
An alternative to letting a kiddo have all the money in the change jar is to let them sort out a particular kind of change -- the pennies or nickels, maybe -- and take that to the bank or money exchange machine at the grocery store and swap it out for dollars.
For several years, Andrew would often set up a store or a cafe in his room and I would use toy money to pay him for my purchases. But you could use money from the change jar instead of toy money. For the cafe, Andrew made up a menu and he acquired a small collection of dishes from Goodwill that he chose to buy with his own allowance. He made a sign for his door, and for a short period of time he typed up a newsletter for his cafe which diners could read while they were waiting on their order [g]. If he'd asked, or if I'd thought about it, we could've used change-jar money instead of toy money -- we had a toy cash register and he just opted to use the toy money that came with it. Anyway, this particular idea doesn't relate to allowance, but it is a fun way your daughter could earn some change if this kind of thing appealed to her or inspired her in any way.
Glenda
Marla, in general, does she spend it as she gets it, or does she simply like accruing it?
If accruing it is what she enjoys, could you give her a month's allowance all at once? If so, you could get forty $1 bills -- that's a nice little mountain of money to pile on the bed and look at [g]. Or maybe split it up so she gets $5 or $10 in quarters + some $1 bills + some $5 bills.
When our son was younger, when my hubby's change jar would get full, he'd give it to our son and tell him he could have the dollars once we exchanged the change for dollars (which we'd do that day or the next). It would only happen about twice a year, but it'd be anywhere from $50 or $60 each time, which was a huge treat for kiddo. (Now that he's older and gets a larger allowance, the change jar is dedicated as "vacation fun money".)
An alternative to letting a kiddo have all the money in the change jar is to let them sort out a particular kind of change -- the pennies or nickels, maybe -- and take that to the bank or money exchange machine at the grocery store and swap it out for dollars.
For several years, Andrew would often set up a store or a cafe in his room and I would use toy money to pay him for my purchases. But you could use money from the change jar instead of toy money. For the cafe, Andrew made up a menu and he acquired a small collection of dishes from Goodwill that he chose to buy with his own allowance. He made a sign for his door, and for a short period of time he typed up a newsletter for his cafe which diners could read while they were waiting on their order [g]. If he'd asked, or if I'd thought about it, we could've used change-jar money instead of toy money -- we had a toy cash register and he just opted to use the toy money that came with it. Anyway, this particular idea doesn't relate to allowance, but it is a fun way your daughter could earn some change if this kind of thing appealed to her or inspired her in any way.
Glenda
Vidyut Kale
"I also admit that my dh and I have always had negative issues around money,
so Lily is definitely bringing up some old stuff in us that we haven't
figured out how to work through, yet. She just loves money - LOL. She spends
her days counting coins to see if she can get a dollar or two (her favorite
is "I'll give you 3 quarters for a dollar." and she knows all too well that
there are 4 quarters in a dollar - LOL). She also has free access to one of
our extra coin jars, to dig around in for extra money. I know a lot of this
does have to do with me and my dh working out our money issues and with our
recent cut in salary, so over time things should get better. Just can't see
the forest through the trees right now."
When I was young, my parents were often broke. One of my brighter moments
from my childhood is using my 'math genius' to help my dad with family
budget and accounts, etc. I was definitely under 10. Likely under 7. I had
an 'affinity' for it, and often took more and more responsibility with them
on the weekends I was home (till it became my 'job' and I started avoiding
it). Mom hated accounts, dad got too depressed with the figures. I enjoyed
the thought of so much money.
I never had any power to make decisions and didn't get any pocket money at
all, but it was feeling important enough for me to be totalling expenses,
writing out utility cheques (with careful handwriting and correct spelling)
for dad to sign, checking for mistakes in accounts.... I felt important to
be doing money stuff and enjoyed it. They used to check my 'work' of course,
but it took them lesser time and made them feel good about how clever their
daughter was and that took off some of their misery. And I was 'managing'
far larger amounts of money than I could dream of seeing given to me. That
was a high in itself.
Vidyut
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
so Lily is definitely bringing up some old stuff in us that we haven't
figured out how to work through, yet. She just loves money - LOL. She spends
her days counting coins to see if she can get a dollar or two (her favorite
is "I'll give you 3 quarters for a dollar." and she knows all too well that
there are 4 quarters in a dollar - LOL). She also has free access to one of
our extra coin jars, to dig around in for extra money. I know a lot of this
does have to do with me and my dh working out our money issues and with our
recent cut in salary, so over time things should get better. Just can't see
the forest through the trees right now."
When I was young, my parents were often broke. One of my brighter moments
from my childhood is using my 'math genius' to help my dad with family
budget and accounts, etc. I was definitely under 10. Likely under 7. I had
an 'affinity' for it, and often took more and more responsibility with them
on the weekends I was home (till it became my 'job' and I started avoiding
it). Mom hated accounts, dad got too depressed with the figures. I enjoyed
the thought of so much money.
I never had any power to make decisions and didn't get any pocket money at
all, but it was feeling important enough for me to be totalling expenses,
writing out utility cheques (with careful handwriting and correct spelling)
for dad to sign, checking for mistakes in accounts.... I felt important to
be doing money stuff and enjoyed it. They used to check my 'work' of course,
but it took them lesser time and made them feel good about how clever their
daughter was and that took off some of their misery. And I was 'managing'
far larger amounts of money than I could dream of seeing given to me. That
was a high in itself.
Vidyut
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marla
--- In [email protected], "wtexans" <wtexans@...> wrote:
Thanks for the good ideas!
Marla
>Both - LOL. She always has a list ready of things she'd like and if we go out, she loves to stop at any store and get something, anything.
> ===She just loves money===
>
> Marla, in general, does she spend it as she gets it, or does she simply like accruing it?
>Several months ago she wanted to take $100 out of her bank account (she only had $200 in there, but it is her money). When the teller asked her how she wanted her money, she said "in ones" - lol. She loved carrying the big wad around. She gave some to her sister, she put some in a charity cup, and then we went to build-a-bear where she spent the rest. She loved it.
> If accruing it is what she enjoys, could you give her a month's allowance all at once? If so, you could get forty $1 bills -- that's a nice little mountain of money to pile on the bed and look at [g]. Or maybe split it up so she gets $5 or $10 in quarters + some $1 bills + some $5 bills.
>That's a good idea. She loves going through the quarters and then trading them for paper dollars.
> When our son was younger, when my hubby's change jar would get full, he'd give it to our son and tell him he could have the dollars once we exchanged the change for dollars (which we'd do that day or the next). It would only happen about twice a year, but it'd be anywhere from $50 or $60 each time, which was a huge treat for kiddo. (Now that he's older and gets a larger allowance, the change jar is dedicated as "vacation fun money".)
>
> An alternative to letting a kiddo have all the money in the change jar is to let them sort out a particular kind of change -- the pennies or nickels, maybe -- and take that to the bank or money exchange machine at the grocery store and swap it out for dollars.
>Lily does love to play store, so I'll keep that in mind.
> For several years, Andrew would often set up a store or a cafe in his room and I would use toy money to pay him for my purchases.
Thanks for the good ideas!
Marla
Marla
Thanks for that, Vidyut. Lily actually enjoys having her own checkbook, calculator and real and play money. We do discuss our budget and where money should go. I agree that this makes her feel closer and more powerful.
Thanks!
Marla
Thanks!
Marla
Sandra Dodd
-=- They used to check my 'work' of course,
but it took them lesser time and made them feel good about how clever
their
daughter was and that took off some of their misery. And I was
'managing'
far larger amounts of money than I could dream of seeing given to me.
That
was a high in itself.-=-
That's a very cool idea, for parents who don't like bill paying! I
could've done that, as a kid, but my dad was always afraid for us to
find out how much money he made. It was a big secret, and kids
weren't supposed to ask or discuss it.
I wonder if collecting foreign coins might be fun for a kid who's
interested in money? (Some yes, some no, maybe.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
but it took them lesser time and made them feel good about how clever
their
daughter was and that took off some of their misery. And I was
'managing'
far larger amounts of money than I could dream of seeing given to me.
That
was a high in itself.-=-
That's a very cool idea, for parents who don't like bill paying! I
could've done that, as a kid, but my dad was always afraid for us to
find out how much money he made. It was a big secret, and kids
weren't supposed to ask or discuss it.
I wonder if collecting foreign coins might be fun for a kid who's
interested in money? (Some yes, some no, maybe.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kershanator
Lily sounds a lot like one of my uncles. Even as a child he was very focused on money. He had a rubber band collection (or maybe it was paperclips, I don't remember) and would count it every night. If the number was off, he'd hunt it down.
Here's a favorite family story from when he was in elementary school. He was given a dollar to buy something at school, and during the walk to school memorized its serial number. When he got there to pay for whatever the dollar was for, some older boys in upper grades basically stole his dollar. When he told a teacher what had happened, he was able to give the dollar's serial number as proof that the other students had it.
He went on to get an MBA from Harvard, work in Spain for a Spanish bank, which then took him to Hong Kong (where he lives) and China where he now works for various banks as a banking/finance consultant.
As a child, he probably appeared to be obsessive about money. As an adult, he used it to his advantage and built on this strength. Maybe Lily has a similar tendancy?
~Ruth
Here's a favorite family story from when he was in elementary school. He was given a dollar to buy something at school, and during the walk to school memorized its serial number. When he got there to pay for whatever the dollar was for, some older boys in upper grades basically stole his dollar. When he told a teacher what had happened, he was able to give the dollar's serial number as proof that the other students had it.
He went on to get an MBA from Harvard, work in Spain for a Spanish bank, which then took him to Hong Kong (where he lives) and China where he now works for various banks as a banking/finance consultant.
As a child, he probably appeared to be obsessive about money. As an adult, he used it to his advantage and built on this strength. Maybe Lily has a similar tendancy?
~Ruth
--- In [email protected], "Marla" <marla@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> I agree, Pam. I'm stressed about money. Unfortunately my husband just took a pretty significant pay cut (though he's leaving a job he has hated for the last 10 years and has really caused a lot of stress in and out of the home, so it's a good thing, too - LOL). So, we are working out the new budget and are feeling stressed right now. I know once we've been at it a few months, we'll feel better.
>
> I also admit that my dh and I have always had negative issues around money, so Lily is definitely bringing up some old stuff in us that we haven't figured out how to work through, yet. She just loves money - LOL. She spends her days counting coins to see if she can get a dollar or two (her favorite is "I'll give you 3 quarters for a dollar." and she knows all too well that there are 4 quarters in a dollar - LOL). She also has free access to one of our extra coin jars, to dig around in for extra money. I know a lot of this does have to do with me and my dh working out our money issues and with our recent cut in salary, so over time things should get better. Just can't see the forest through the trees right now.
>
> Thanks again for your input!
>
> Marla
>
Gwen
I've seen chocolate coins of foriegn currency - fun & edible!
Or maybe collect the quarters with all the different state pictures on them?
Gwen
On Apr 9, 2010, at 12:42 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
I wonder if collecting foreign coins might be fun for a kid who's
interested in money? (Some yes, some no, maybe.)
Sandra
Or maybe collect the quarters with all the different state pictures on them?
Gwen
On Apr 9, 2010, at 12:42 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
I wonder if collecting foreign coins might be fun for a kid who's
interested in money? (Some yes, some no, maybe.)
Sandra
Marla
LOL, I could see her being a bank manager or an accountant.
Marla
Marla
Tina Tarbutton
Also check with your local gas station/convenience store. We get foreign
coins on a pretty regular basis. If you let them know you'd like them,
they'll probably save them for you. We hate having them in our cash drawer.
Tina
coins on a pretty regular basis. If you let them know you'd like them,
they'll probably save them for you. We hate having them in our cash drawer.
Tina
On Fri, Apr 9, 2010 at 11:08 PM, Gwen <willow_selene@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> I've seen chocolate coins of foriegn currency - fun & edible!
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vidyut Kale
Oh yes. What's more, I could even *sign the slip* for depositing dad's
cheque into his account. Anyone can deposit a cheque into an account, and I
COULD SIGN THEM. My friends were so jealous. Very aware that I was making
sure that the money for running the house was in my hands, I would fill it
in super carefully and sign it (while people were watching, preferably - to
show off my importance) and then pester dad to take me to the bank where I
would hand it over to be deposited. All real life 'very important grown up
money stuff'. Other opportunities included making payments, like dropping
off utility cheques, paying the library subscription, etc. I even was
allowed to go alone when it was crossed cheques and safe route when I became
older.
I bet the parents thought they were assigning me a chore. To me, it was
magic.
Seeing how much I enjoyed the process, dad set me up with a kids account for
me for any gift-money I got (till then, my parents used to take it from me
and buy things that were 'good for me'), and pre-signed all the cheques, so
that I didn't have to feel dependent on his signature (required for minors)
for withdrawals and could simply sign and withdraw. Unfortunately, the book
itself resided in his locked cupboard :( 'like all important books should'
:( I never actually got to withdraw anything. Freedom was not really
considered appropriate in our family, alas. But the signing of deposit slips
was even slightly cooler than filling cheques for him to sign and way cooler
than the rest of the accounts. Oh yes, I was definitely 9 years old - asked
mom. I stopped at twelve.
Vidyut
cheque into his account. Anyone can deposit a cheque into an account, and I
COULD SIGN THEM. My friends were so jealous. Very aware that I was making
sure that the money for running the house was in my hands, I would fill it
in super carefully and sign it (while people were watching, preferably - to
show off my importance) and then pester dad to take me to the bank where I
would hand it over to be deposited. All real life 'very important grown up
money stuff'. Other opportunities included making payments, like dropping
off utility cheques, paying the library subscription, etc. I even was
allowed to go alone when it was crossed cheques and safe route when I became
older.
I bet the parents thought they were assigning me a chore. To me, it was
magic.
Seeing how much I enjoyed the process, dad set me up with a kids account for
me for any gift-money I got (till then, my parents used to take it from me
and buy things that were 'good for me'), and pre-signed all the cheques, so
that I didn't have to feel dependent on his signature (required for minors)
for withdrawals and could simply sign and withdraw. Unfortunately, the book
itself resided in his locked cupboard :( 'like all important books should'
:( I never actually got to withdraw anything. Freedom was not really
considered appropriate in our family, alas. But the signing of deposit slips
was even slightly cooler than filling cheques for him to sign and way cooler
than the rest of the accounts. Oh yes, I was definitely 9 years old - asked
mom. I stopped at twelve.
Vidyut
On Sat, Apr 10, 2010 at 1:12 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
>
> -=- They used to check my 'work' of course,
>
> but it took them lesser time and made them feel good about how clever
> their
> daughter was and that took off some of their misery. And I was
> 'managing'
> far larger amounts of money than I could dream of seeing given to me.
> That
> was a high in itself.-=-
>
> That's a very cool idea, for parents who don't like bill paying! I
> could've done that, as a kid, but my dad was always afraid for us to
> find out how much money he made. It was a big secret, and kids
> weren't supposed to ask or discuss it.
>
> I wonder if collecting foreign coins might be fun for a kid who's
> interested in money? (Some yes, some no, maybe.)
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
One of the first times Holly spent any money in Canada, they gave her
an American dime in her change, and she took it back to say that
wasn't right, and got a Canadian coin instead. (Do they call it "a
dime" in Canada too, a ten cent coin?)
Sandra
an American dime in her change, and she took it back to say that
wasn't right, and got a Canadian coin instead. (Do they call it "a
dime" in Canada too, a ten cent coin?)
Sandra