Sandra Dodd

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/ptech/01/23/technological.turfwar.ap/
index.html

I read the article first and then read the "Story Highlights,"
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Young people uncomfortable with parents using MySpace, Facebook
Some are self-censoring pages so family friends won't see
It's like a 40-year-old at the prom, expert says
The middle one is true, but the other two are unqualified. Not ALL
young people are uncomfortable, and the "expert..." Interesting
"expert."

Sandra



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

K Hykes

I guess my thought is that if you don't want family friends seeing it, you probably don't want potential employers seeing it... and they are smart enough to check that stuff out! Private may be an inconvenience, but if you don't want everyone and anyone to see it, well, take the time. Most of the "grown ups" with MySpace pages I know got them because their KIDS wanted them to! Obviously, their kids aren't too ashamed to call mom friend, but I understand that is case-by-case.

kitti


To: [email protected]: Sandra@...: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 09:20:26 -0700Subject: [AlwaysLearning] an article against adults being on MySpace and Facebook




http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/ptech/01/23/technological.turfwar.ap/ index.htmlI read the article first and then read the "Story Highlights,"STORY HIGHLIGHTSYoung people uncomfortable with parents using MySpace, FacebookSome are self-censoring pages so family friends won't seeIt's like a 40-year-old at the prom, expert saysThe middle one is true, but the other two are unqualified. Not ALL young people are uncomfortable, and the "expert..." Interesting "expert."Sandra[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






_________________________________________________________________
Shed those extra pounds with MSN and The Biggest Loser!
http://biggestloser.msn.com/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-. Most of the "grown ups" with MySpace pages I know got them
because their KIDS wanted them to! Obviously, their kids aren't too
ashamed to call mom friend, but I understand that is case-by-case.-=-

Holly seems totally miffed if she mentions something about her
MySpace and I haven't already seen it. I'm expected to read it
daily, it seems. And when I didn't have enough friends (she
thought), she found people online who knew me and hooked us up. <g>

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

wisdomalways5

I think it depends on the relationship you have with your kid or
kids. I there are "things" you do not know about or they are hidding
from you then of course they will not want adults looking at their
site.

Julie


--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>
> -=-. Most of the "grown ups" with MySpace pages I know got them
> because their KIDS wanted them to! Obviously, their kids aren't
too
> ashamed to call mom friend, but I understand that is case-by-case.-
=-
>
> Holly seems totally miffed if she mentions something about her
> MySpace and I haven't already seen it. I'm expected to read it
> daily, it seems. And when I didn't have enough friends (she
> thought), she found people online who knew me and hooked us up. <g>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Christina M

I actually agree with you. I can understand why someone wants to hide from others, such as employer, strangers etc. I have a friend who was fired from her job because her and a co worker had a mishap. She went and put something on her myspace page about him. He seen it, took the info to their job and she was fired. My belief on anything to do with the net is anything you put on it, everyone can find access to it. Even if you block your sight, at some point someone will find your stuff. Most generally by going through a friend who is on your list.
The truth is you cant trust everything you come in contact with on the internet, whether its through myspace, or even something like messengers. It's not a safe place, to many times Ive come acrossed people who have made fake accounts and caused drama etc. Its much easier to block your info and only allow those you want to know about you to see it.

Christina

----- Original Message ----
From: K Hykes <klong1013@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2008 9:56:42 AM
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] an article against adults being on MySpace and Facebook

I guess my thought is that if you don't want family friends seeing it, you probably don't want potential employers seeing it... and they are smart enough to check that stuff out! Private may be an inconvenience, but if you don't want everyone and anyone to see it, well, take the time. Most of the "grown ups" with MySpace pages I know got them because their KIDS wanted them to! Obviously, their kids aren't too ashamed to call mom friend, but I understand that is case-by-case.

kitti

To: AlwaysLearning@ yahoogroups. comFrom: Sandra@SandraDodd. comDate: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 09:20:26 -0700Subject: [AlwaysLearning] an article against adults being on MySpace and Facebook

http://www.cnn. com/2008/ TECH/ptech/ 01/23/technologi cal.turfwar. ap/ index.htmlI read the article first and then read the "Story Highlights," STORY HIGHLIGHTSYoung people uncomfortable with parents using MySpace, FacebookSome are self-censoring pages so family friends won't seeIt's like a 40-year-old at the prom, expert saysThe middle one is true, but the other two are unqualified. Not ALL young people are uncomfortable, and the "expert..." Interesting "expert."Sandra[ Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Shed those extra pounds with MSN and The Biggest Loser!
http://biggestloser .msn.com/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





____________________________________________________________________________________
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.
http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-I actually agree with you. I can understand why someone wants to
hide from others, such as employer, strangers etc. I have a friend
who was fired from her job because her and a co worker had a mishap.
She went and put something on her myspace page about him. He seen it,
took the info to their job and she was fired. My belief on anything
to do with the net is anything you put on it, everyone can find
access to it. Even if you block your sight, at some point someone
will find your stuff. Most generally by going through a friend who is
on your list.
The truth is you cant trust everything you come in contact with on
the internet, whether its through myspace, or even something like
messengers. It's not a safe place, to many times Ive come acrossed
people who have made fake accounts and caused drama etc. Its much
easier to block your info and only allow those you want to know about
you to see it. -=-



It might be easier, but it might be better to begin early to be aware
that what one writes and does is subject to the scrutiny and opinion
of others, and practice even as a teen to be courteous and fair and
honest in the way information is presented.



Your friend was fired from her job for being rude in public, not
because the co-worker saw it.

Consideration for others is important in all kinds of situations, web
or no web. Helping children find ways to be sneaky will just
encourage them to be sneaky adults.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

<<Holly seems totally miffed if she mentions something about her
MySpace and I haven't already seen it. I'm expected to read it
daily, it seems.>>



I was one of Rohana's (now 18 yrs old) original friends. I have friends who
haven't seen their children's MySpace or Facebook pages. They are surprised
that I am my child's friend. Rohana helped me create my own MySpace at
first (and her dad's too). She'll tell me that she's updated her blog and
that I should read it...and this is my "stepdaughter".



Then again, this is a young woman who has always had a burning desire to
cook, and is now off at a culinary arts program (much to her bio-mother's
dismay - she wanted Rohana to get a "real" education at a 4 yr college). I
guess to Rohana having her parents (me and her dad) as her online friends is
pretty cool.



I'm guessing that these kids who don't want their parents on MySpace don't
want their parents in their REAL lives.



How sad.



Be at peace,

Maisha

_



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-I'm guessing that these kids who don't want their parents on
MySpace don't
want their parents in their REAL lives. -=-

That surprised me with its power when I read it.

I think it's true, and I think it's right, but isn't it a huge
difference?



Sometimes I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning and can't go back
to sleep, so I get up. Sometimes Holly's still up. The other night
I said I just couldn't sleep and was kinda nervous (I had to go to
the dentist). She asked if I wanted to lie down in her bed. That
was so sweet. And sometimes if one of us is sick, even though she's
sixteen, she'll ask me to lie down with her. I rarely make it all
night there, but she'd be fine with it if I did.

She has the queen sized bed her dad and I used to have.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/25/2008 10:22:18 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
Sandra@... writes:

Sometimes I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning and can't go back
to sleep, so I get up. Sometimes Holly's still up. The other night
I said I just couldn't sleep and was kinda nervous (I had to go to
the dentist). She asked if I wanted to lie down in her bed


____

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Most likely, a combination of
owning a rooster and getting older...Menopause symptoms really are wrecking
havoc on me...<g> Anyway, Logan is usually up and on his computer. He's
recently began playing World of Warcraft and loves to watch all the late night
talk shows.

I show up in his room at wee hours and he's always so happy to offer his bed
as he's in a gaming chair.
He updates me on WOW and usually says things like, "You can just sleep in
here, Mom, and I'll take the top bunk. It's comforting to snuggle under his
covers as he plays his game and he seems to enjoy me being there. I usually
stay for awhile until I think I can sleep again and then head back to my room.

He helped me create a MySpace account a long time ago but I haven't used it.
Brenna uses both Facebook and Myspace and we were discussing the article
about adults being on social networking sites. She said that she loves it when
an adult she knows asks to be on her "friends" list.

Both kids have real life friends of all ages and I don't see them
differentiating between them because of age. Another unschooling family was staying
with us recently and I was noticing how all our children talk to the other
parents so engagingly and enjoy the company of not only the other kids but the
adults as well.
It's one of many things I enjoy when we go to unschooling conferences.

It's so different than most of the kids we know from traditionally parented
and schooled families.

Gail



**************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music.
(http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?NCID=aolcmp003000000025
48)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

Well - it is really all about kids being unhappy that it might impede
them from discussing their secret lives that they don't want their
parents to know about. Some people mix up the ideas of "autonomy" with
"secret." Teens and young adults do need autonomy - but that doesn't
translate into "kids need to have secret lives." Still, it is the
parents who make it feel to the kids like they need secret lives.

I get it - and don't entirely blame those kids. They don't want their
parents or parents' friends accidentally finding out things about them
- they're worried about getting into trouble. And, the parents are
often on there to spy, anyway, not for the social networking purposes.
I'd resent that, too.

My kids have lots of adult MySpace friends (including me) and that is
great for them, they consider their adult friends as much their real
friends as anybody else. And, they're not hiding anything for two
reasons: 1) they have nothing they feel like they need to hide and 2)
if they did have something that other kids would hide, they wouldn't
need to hide it because they aren't afraid of being punished.

-pam

On Jan 25, 2008, at 8:20 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> I read the article first and then read the "Story Highlights,"
> STORY HIGHLIGHTS
> Young people uncomfortable with parents using MySpace, Facebook
> Some are self-censoring pages so family friends won't see
> It's like a 40-year-old at the prom, expert says
> The middle one is true, but the other two are unqualified. Not ALL
> young people are uncomfortable, and the "expert..." Interesting
> "expert."



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-I get it - and don't entirely blame those kids. They don't want their
parents or parents' friends accidentally finding out things about them
- they're worried about getting into trouble. -=-



I understand the concerns of those kids, but it's perpetuation of
"us" and "them." Interesting the "expert" (a market researching
expert) said "forty" as a cut-off age. There are plenty of teenagers
whose parents are not yet forty (some not yet thirty), as a result in
many cases of THOSE once-teenagers having kept secrets from their
parents too.

It's evidence of the larger problems of society, and evidence of
better than average conditions among unschooling families.

The point about employers seeing things is true. If people want real
privacy, they can use the phone or e-mail or IM. Putting something
on a webpage, even if it's friends only, still opens it WIDE up to
friends of friends, and anyone with screen capture, printer or
webpage save.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meghan Anderson-Coates

************

http://www.cnn com/2008/ TECH/ptech/ 01/23/technologi cal.turfwar. ap/
index.html

I read the article first and then read the "Story Highlights,"
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Young people uncomfortable with parents using MySpace, Facebook
Some are self-censoring pages so family friends won't see
It's like a 40-year-old at the prom, expert says
The middle one is true, but the other two are unqualified. Not ALL
young people are uncomfortable, and the "expert..." Interesting
"expert."

Sandra

*************

I had to laugh at this. My dh (a public high school teacher) has had a myspace page since it's beginning and has tons of students and former students as his friends (as well as his own kids). My dh is always the teacher the kids go to when they have a problem. They know they will get non-judgemental and respectful advice (and help when needed) from him. Of the homeschoolers I know that have myspace accounts, all of them have their kids, and their kid's friends in their networks. They also all have their accounts private (the kids that is).
I think the media latches onto, and encourages, the image of sullen teens who don't want anything to do with their parents (there are many movies and tv shows that play to that image). I know there are a lot of teens out there that don't want to interact with their parents, because they can't have an honest relationship with them. I believe our culture encourages the great divide between kids and their parents mainly by encouraging an authoritarian parenting/family style which pervades every segment of society. By this I mean, the schools, the workplace and social situations.
I think a lot of homeschoolers, especially unschoolers, have a culture unto themselves. It's a culture of mutual respect, communication, understanding, and cooperation. Sadly, I believe there are many, many kids out there who never get a chance to experience this culture in their lives and they will go on perpetuating the division between the ages.




Meghan

I can create what I can imagine. ~ Charlene Kingston


---------------------------------
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jenstarc4

>
> The point about employers seeing things is true. If people want
real
> privacy, they can use the phone or e-mail or IM. Putting
something
> on a webpage, even if it's friends only, still opens it WIDE up to
> friends of friends, and anyone with screen capture, printer or
> webpage save.
>
> Sandra
>

I would definitely agree with that! One part of the article comes to
mind, the one about the college student afraid others might see
drunken college pictures. I guess either you shouldn't be
irresponsible with alcohol, or you shouldn't post up drunken pictures
of yourself, or allow others to do so.

That's self incriminating stupidity! I've posted rants on my blog
and later removed them because, I realized that something could
easily backfire in such a large public forum! It's common sense to
monitor yourself when you put something out in public.

That said, I am an adult who has almost all teens as myspace
friends. For a lot of those teens, I'm the only adult friend they
have on myspace, but they requested me as a friend not the other way
around! I'm Chamille's mom, so therefore, I'm "cool". They really
like it when I take the time to comment on their stuff. Every time
Chamille updates her myspace, she insists I check it out. She wants
me to see all the great stuff she's done and goes into great detail
about how she learned how to make it "do" that by changing this or
that html code.

Her best friend isn't even allowed to have a myspace and can only
communicate via the internet through a parent chosen site that I
wouldn't let my own daughter sign up for because it required too much
private information on my end. Apparently, it's some sort of highly
parent regulated little kid site, pretty useless for what teens like
to do.