Knife safety
[email protected]
I've got a roadblock I need help with. My boys (8 1/2 & 3) were playing with
balloons this morning. Kicking and tossing around ones that were already
blown up, blowing up more and twist-tying them shut or asking me to knot them
closed. It soon turned to stuffing balloons in their clothing and being silly
with that. There was some upset and then discussion about how other people
want their clothing and items in them (the younger was trying to unzip his
brother's pajamas and remove the balloon the older wanted to keep in there). Then
they switched to popping. Wyl popped one as he was trying to put 2 (very
large) balloons against his chest and zip his p.j.s closed and the pressure of
too small a space made it pop. That stung, but it was fun, too, so he decided to
pop one on purpose. I hear him encouraging his brother to put a balloon in
his p.j.s and I glanced at them to see Wyl's hand slightly behind his body
from me and I asked what he was popping the balloons with. He hesitated then
pulled his hand to the front to show me the paring knife he was holding. I was
horrified and stunned. I didn't freak out, but I wasn't completely calm,
either.
This is the kid that's known knife safety and used sharp knives for food for
years. I guess I should say I *thought* he knew knife safety-he seemed to
know safety from his own standpoint. Also, this is the sharpest knife I own-not
that either of the boys knows that. We talked about it for a moment and what
could happen and that even though he used it on himself and didn't hurt
himself, how one can't judge as well going toward someone else, plus not being
able to predict another's sudden movements. He seemed to be somewhat regretful
and that he understood the possibilities of the situation. The knife got put
away. Not 2 minutes later, I heard them talking about popping the balloons
again and looked in to see that he had now gotten the knife out again and given
it to his 3 year old brother to pop his own balloon.
I see in hindsight that I should have talked to them about better ways to
pop the balloons, but now I'm seriously concerned about the sharp knife
situation. If I remove the knives from Wyl's access, it will have to be under lock
and key, as he does not respect requests to leave things in certain places
alone (he spoiled some of his gift surprises this way), even if they are put up
"out of his reach". Not that we do a lot of that, we just have a small
cupboard over the stove for a few items-mostly surprises for the boys for a later
date.
At this point, I'm stumped as to what to do about the knives and if I'm just
expecting too much "respect for other people's things and other people's
wishes" from a boy about to turn 9 in April. I'm out of creative thinking ideas
in this department, and thought I'd ask here for some of your ideas. I hope
I've given all the details....
Peace,
De
**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
balloons this morning. Kicking and tossing around ones that were already
blown up, blowing up more and twist-tying them shut or asking me to knot them
closed. It soon turned to stuffing balloons in their clothing and being silly
with that. There was some upset and then discussion about how other people
want their clothing and items in them (the younger was trying to unzip his
brother's pajamas and remove the balloon the older wanted to keep in there). Then
they switched to popping. Wyl popped one as he was trying to put 2 (very
large) balloons against his chest and zip his p.j.s closed and the pressure of
too small a space made it pop. That stung, but it was fun, too, so he decided to
pop one on purpose. I hear him encouraging his brother to put a balloon in
his p.j.s and I glanced at them to see Wyl's hand slightly behind his body
from me and I asked what he was popping the balloons with. He hesitated then
pulled his hand to the front to show me the paring knife he was holding. I was
horrified and stunned. I didn't freak out, but I wasn't completely calm,
either.
This is the kid that's known knife safety and used sharp knives for food for
years. I guess I should say I *thought* he knew knife safety-he seemed to
know safety from his own standpoint. Also, this is the sharpest knife I own-not
that either of the boys knows that. We talked about it for a moment and what
could happen and that even though he used it on himself and didn't hurt
himself, how one can't judge as well going toward someone else, plus not being
able to predict another's sudden movements. He seemed to be somewhat regretful
and that he understood the possibilities of the situation. The knife got put
away. Not 2 minutes later, I heard them talking about popping the balloons
again and looked in to see that he had now gotten the knife out again and given
it to his 3 year old brother to pop his own balloon.
I see in hindsight that I should have talked to them about better ways to
pop the balloons, but now I'm seriously concerned about the sharp knife
situation. If I remove the knives from Wyl's access, it will have to be under lock
and key, as he does not respect requests to leave things in certain places
alone (he spoiled some of his gift surprises this way), even if they are put up
"out of his reach". Not that we do a lot of that, we just have a small
cupboard over the stove for a few items-mostly surprises for the boys for a later
date.
At this point, I'm stumped as to what to do about the knives and if I'm just
expecting too much "respect for other people's things and other people's
wishes" from a boy about to turn 9 in April. I'm out of creative thinking ideas
in this department, and thought I'd ask here for some of your ideas. I hope
I've given all the details....
Peace,
De
**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-At this point, I'm stumped as to what to do about the knives and
if I'm just
expecting too much "respect for other people's things and other people's
wishes" from a boy about to turn 9 in April. I'm out of creative
thinking ideas
in this department, and thought I'd ask here for some of your ideas.
I hope
I've given all the details....-=-
He would feel mature if you tell him it's one thing for him to use a
knife, but that doesn't make it smart to hand one to the three year
old. Tell him policemen and soldiers who know how to use guns don't
hand them to kids to play with.
There's a very cool thing to do with balloons. Put a piece of scotch
tape on it--regular clear tape. You can stick a pin in there (like a
sewing pin) and the balloon won't pop. Stick it where the tape isn't
and it will pop it. Your kids might like that.
And along with that you could talk about what's BEHIND the target.
If they want to shoot an arrow at a target, the target should NOT be
being held by someone. You could come up with similar examples and
make them laugh, but they would also remember it.
Find safe places to put a balloon to stab it maybe. In a corner?
But you don't want them stabbing the wall or the baseboard. What
about inside a small cardboard box? But what's under or behind the
box? What about in a hole dug in sand or snow? A pan filled deeply
with uncooked rice or beans?
Go WITH their interest, not against it, and talk about it in ways
that open their minds up joyfully, not that close them down with
embarrassment.
Marty cut his friend's hand once. They had duct taped his wrists,
playing something, and Marty tried to cut the duct tape off but cut
the other boy's palm, just before his mom showed up. It needed
stitches. I was mortified. The other mom was cool and calm and not
mad at the boys.
I cut my thigh through overalls with an Xacto knife once, years ago,
cutting cardboard. The cut on my leg healed, but the patch on the
overalls reminded me for years.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
if I'm just
expecting too much "respect for other people's things and other people's
wishes" from a boy about to turn 9 in April. I'm out of creative
thinking ideas
in this department, and thought I'd ask here for some of your ideas.
I hope
I've given all the details....-=-
He would feel mature if you tell him it's one thing for him to use a
knife, but that doesn't make it smart to hand one to the three year
old. Tell him policemen and soldiers who know how to use guns don't
hand them to kids to play with.
There's a very cool thing to do with balloons. Put a piece of scotch
tape on it--regular clear tape. You can stick a pin in there (like a
sewing pin) and the balloon won't pop. Stick it where the tape isn't
and it will pop it. Your kids might like that.
And along with that you could talk about what's BEHIND the target.
If they want to shoot an arrow at a target, the target should NOT be
being held by someone. You could come up with similar examples and
make them laugh, but they would also remember it.
Find safe places to put a balloon to stab it maybe. In a corner?
But you don't want them stabbing the wall or the baseboard. What
about inside a small cardboard box? But what's under or behind the
box? What about in a hole dug in sand or snow? A pan filled deeply
with uncooked rice or beans?
Go WITH their interest, not against it, and talk about it in ways
that open their minds up joyfully, not that close them down with
embarrassment.
Marty cut his friend's hand once. They had duct taped his wrists,
playing something, and Marty tried to cut the duct tape off but cut
the other boy's palm, just before his mom showed up. It needed
stitches. I was mortified. The other mom was cool and calm and not
mad at the boys.
I cut my thigh through overalls with an Xacto knife once, years ago,
cutting cardboard. The cut on my leg healed, but the patch on the
overalls reminded me for years.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<> I see in hindsight that I should have talked to them about better ways
to
Keep the conversation brief "Ooh, that knife's too big to use for that
safely - here's a push pin." Or even better "two push pins, one each." Or
even better "three push pins. Can I pop some balloons too?"
If you focus on continuing the activity, safety gets taken care of in
passing - organically. The main thing is that they learn over and over that
they can rely on you to keep them safe while they follow their interest.
He already knew - he was hiding the knife behind his back. He just couldn't
think of a better idea and really wanted to keep popping.
<<<<< At this point, I'm stumped as to what to do about the knives and if
I'm just
alternative, that's all.
Empathy (respect for other people's things and wishes) is another. It can't
be forced. It comes on at the right developmental time, and varies in
strength. It's a whole other topic.
I don't think a 9 year old should be made responsible for keeping a 3 year
old safe, although it might be good to have a conversation with him at
another quiet time about how he is bigger and can do things that his brother
can't manage safely yet. Trying to have this conversation while the balloons
alluringly beckon is probably poor timing.
Robyn L. Coburn
to
> pop the balloons >>>I try always to give them the safe way to accomplish the goal first.
Keep the conversation brief "Ooh, that knife's too big to use for that
safely - here's a push pin." Or even better "two push pins, one each." Or
even better "three push pins. Can I pop some balloons too?"
If you focus on continuing the activity, safety gets taken care of in
passing - organically. The main thing is that they learn over and over that
they can rely on you to keep them safe while they follow their interest.
He already knew - he was hiding the knife behind his back. He just couldn't
think of a better idea and really wanted to keep popping.
<<<<< At this point, I'm stumped as to what to do about the knives and if
I'm just
> expecting too much "respect for other people's things and other people'sI think knife safety is one issue. He continued to need the better
> wishes" from a boy about to turn 9 in April. I'm out of creative thinking
> ideas
> in this department, and thought I'd ask here for some of your ideas. I
> hope
> I've given all the details....>>>>>
alternative, that's all.
Empathy (respect for other people's things and wishes) is another. It can't
be forced. It comes on at the right developmental time, and varies in
strength. It's a whole other topic.
I don't think a 9 year old should be made responsible for keeping a 3 year
old safe, although it might be good to have a conversation with him at
another quiet time about how he is bigger and can do things that his brother
can't manage safely yet. Trying to have this conversation while the balloons
alluringly beckon is probably poor timing.
Robyn L. Coburn
riasplace3
Oh, not that it will help any, but I thought of it when I read your
post...
Once when my mom had my sister's two younger boys, she (mom) looked out
the back door and called, "Where are you?" And the youngest yelled
back, "We're in the trees, Mamaw, and we don't have any knives." LOL
; )
Ria
post...
Once when my mom had my sister's two younger boys, she (mom) looked out
the back door and called, "Where are you?" And the youngest yelled
back, "We're in the trees, Mamaw, and we don't have any knives." LOL
; )
Ria
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/18/2008 12:25:58 PM Eastern Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:
I think knife safety is one issue. He continued to need the better
alternative, that's all.
Right. My mind was so overwhelmed with the possibilities of what *could*
have happened, I couldn't get out of that mode. I knew I could get unstuck here.
Thanks.
It makes me wonder... Wyl was 5-ish when we happened upon radical
unschooling, and Storm was born when Wyl was 5 1/2. Storm (3) was the one who came up
with an alternate popper. Is it personality or is it because he's been
respected and trusted in his judgements from the beginning? I know there's not an
answer, really, but I do ponder sometimes...
Peace,
De
**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dezigna@... writes:
I think knife safety is one issue. He continued to need the better
alternative, that's all.
Right. My mind was so overwhelmed with the possibilities of what *could*
have happened, I couldn't get out of that mode. I knew I could get unstuck here.
Thanks.
It makes me wonder... Wyl was 5-ish when we happened upon radical
unschooling, and Storm was born when Wyl was 5 1/2. Storm (3) was the one who came up
with an alternate popper. Is it personality or is it because he's been
respected and trusted in his judgements from the beginning? I know there's not an
answer, really, but I do ponder sometimes...
Peace,
De
**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
strawlis
--- In [email protected], Sanguinegirl83@... wrote:
shaming...Things I'm currently working on..in the heat of the
moment..instead of the panick reaction. Recently my 9yr old DD had been
poke/stabbing her younger sister with a wooden chop stick that she
witled down to be sharper. I comforted the injured and then calmy got
out a melon for the 9 yr. old to stab...explained that it was not ok to
poke/stab people..that they could get hurt ect. This whole experience
lead to much discussion about swords and weapons and her recent
enrollment in a fencing class!
Elisabeth
>You've gotten some great feedback..finding alternatives.. not
> I've got a roadblock I need help with.
shaming...Things I'm currently working on..in the heat of the
moment..instead of the panick reaction. Recently my 9yr old DD had been
poke/stabbing her younger sister with a wooden chop stick that she
witled down to be sharper. I comforted the injured and then calmy got
out a melon for the 9 yr. old to stab...explained that it was not ok to
poke/stab people..that they could get hurt ect. This whole experience
lead to much discussion about swords and weapons and her recent
enrollment in a fencing class!
Elisabeth
Sandra Dodd
-=and her recent
enrollment in a fencing class!-=-
That's a good idea!
Marty liked to stab things, so we found cardboard boxes for him.
Playdough or modelling clay can be good, too. Or what about
Sculpey? She could do stabbing designs that will last. There's a
kind of artistic texture done on metal with a ballpeen hammer, too,
that might interest her. Thin copper or even thicker, copper or
brass or aluminum.
My kids learned a thing from Shari Lewis when she had a TV show. You
put a paper napkin or paper towel over the top of a full glass of
water (or nearly full) with a rubber band around it, so it's like a
paper lid. Set a penny on it. Take turns sticking a skewer (or a
sharpened chopstick!) through it, into the water, and back out. At
one point the paper will collapse, so it's a contest not to be the
one who makes the fatal poke.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
enrollment in a fencing class!-=-
That's a good idea!
Marty liked to stab things, so we found cardboard boxes for him.
Playdough or modelling clay can be good, too. Or what about
Sculpey? She could do stabbing designs that will last. There's a
kind of artistic texture done on metal with a ballpeen hammer, too,
that might interest her. Thin copper or even thicker, copper or
brass or aluminum.
My kids learned a thing from Shari Lewis when she had a TV show. You
put a paper napkin or paper towel over the top of a full glass of
water (or nearly full) with a rubber band around it, so it's like a
paper lid. Set a penny on it. Take turns sticking a skewer (or a
sharpened chopstick!) through it, into the water, and back out. At
one point the paper will collapse, so it's a contest not to be the
one who makes the fatal poke.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=Recently my 9yr old DD had been
poke/stabbing her younger sister with a wooden chop stick that she
witled down to be sharper.-=-
I just thought of another thing I did/said sometimes. I would've
said "HEY, if a stranger came in here and stabbed you with a sharp
stick, I'd call the police." Make it funny, but true, and that might
help her remember that it's really not okay to poke someone with a
stick. Or tell her to go to the mall and try it on some people
there, if she's sure it's a good idea.
Kids sometimes forget to think of siblings as real people, it seems.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
poke/stabbing her younger sister with a wooden chop stick that she
witled down to be sharper.-=-
I just thought of another thing I did/said sometimes. I would've
said "HEY, if a stranger came in here and stabbed you with a sharp
stick, I'd call the police." Make it funny, but true, and that might
help her remember that it's really not okay to poke someone with a
stick. Or tell her to go to the mall and try it on some people
there, if she's sure it's a good idea.
Kids sometimes forget to think of siblings as real people, it seems.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
strawlis
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
learning so much about how very different thier needs are...and how to
meet them more effectively and respectfully. I have to say that it is
not always easy...at least for me...It's simply to react to a
problem/situtation... with the auto-pilot "Stop That" or "NO" and
worse..."What's wrong with You?!"...but to stop and think/and or breath
and than act...is work...like establishing a new habit. But the results
make the effort worth your wild.
Elisabeth
>This is a big issue in our house...and we're working on it...and I'm
> Kids sometimes forget to think of siblings as real people, it seems.
learning so much about how very different thier needs are...and how to
meet them more effectively and respectfully. I have to say that it is
not always easy...at least for me...It's simply to react to a
problem/situtation... with the auto-pilot "Stop That" or "NO" and
worse..."What's wrong with You?!"...but to stop and think/and or breath
and than act...is work...like establishing a new habit. But the results
make the effort worth your wild.
Elisabeth
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 19, 2008, at 6:56 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
of water and napkins and they have toothpicks and my girls always had
a hair band or I had one in my purse.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My kids learned a thing from Shari Lewis when she had a TV show. YouA favorite restaurant game - since we'd be sitting there with a glass
> put a paper napkin or paper towel over the top of a full glass of
> water (or nearly full) with a rubber band around it, so it's like a
> paper lid. Set a penny on it. Take turns sticking a skewer (or a
> sharpened chopstick!) through it, into the water, and back out. At
> one point the paper will collapse, so it's a contest not to be the
> one who makes the fatal poke.
of water and napkins and they have toothpicks and my girls always had
a hair band or I had one in my purse.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]