tanyaziegler

Hi all. I've been lurking on this list for many months and wanted to
finally introduce myself and thank everyone for sharing their
unschooling wisdom.

My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and our
18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.

I began researching homeschooling stuff I think when Talon was about
10 months old. I promptly came across unschooling and Sandra's
website and haven't looked back. The concept of unschooling has
resonated with me from the beginning, and I hope to be completely
comfortable and confident with our choice by the time Talon becomes
school age because just the mention of homeschooling to family and
friends already elicits disapproval. I have always been the rebel in
the family, so I can accept disapproval; I just want to get to a point
where I no longer feel and act defensive when the questions come at
us. Terry is also new to the idea of unschooling, but is willing to
follow my lead in the learning proces.

So that brings me to thank you. I appreciate not only all the
information and personal experiences shared here, but most especially
appreciate that you, Sandra, and others allow no mistake about what
unschooling is and isn't. It is very difficult for a person new to
unschooling to wade through a discussion group and pick out inaccurate
information. I know I don't have to worry about that here because the
more experienced members will point that stuff out, and I really
appreciate that.

As for the conference thing, I am wanting to attend the HENA
conference here in Arizona in March with Terry. My anxiety is that we
would need to bring Talon along and I'm not sure how that will work
out. I realize that Terry and I can take turns attending different
talks, though I think we'd both want to hear Gatto. Talon is a very
active boy, and I worry that it will just end up to be 2 days of
chasing him all over the place. I'm wondering if anyone else who's
attended a conference with a toddler can share their experience and/or
tips to help make it a joyful event.

So, thanks again to all of you who share your time and wisdom here.
Tanya

Gold Standard

>>My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and our
>>18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.<<

Join us at Phoenix_Unschoolers@..., if you haven't already!

Jacki

Cindy Fox

Hi Tanya!

We welcome children at the HENA conference. You are welcome to
bring him to any talks and other parents will be in the same
situation. :)

We were hoping to be in a larger venue this year, but a fire in the
Student Union building at ASU put us back in the same building as
last year - that means there isn't extra room as we had hoped when
we booked JTG, but the room he is speaking in is tiered with stairs,
parents of small kids often sat on the end of the row and let kids
play in the aisle or down front or up in back. We'll also have a
fun room right outside the back door of the main speaking room -
last year it was a vendor room, but this year we'll only have two
vendor rooms and the third will be a hangout/play room for families.

Of course you can take turns and one of you see him one day and the
other the other day. But then you have to cordinate seeing Sandra
and Pam and all the others. :) The family rate includes
grandparents for free or you're welcome to bring a sitter for any
length of time.

Hope that helps!

Take care, c.

Cindy Fox
www.HENA.us

--- In [email protected], "tanyaziegler" <tanyaz1@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi all. I've been lurking on this list for many months and wanted
to
> finally introduce myself and thank everyone for sharing their
> unschooling wisdom.
>
> My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and
our
> 18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.
>
> I began researching homeschooling stuff I think when Talon was
about
> 10 months old. I promptly came across unschooling and Sandra's
> website and haven't looked back. The concept of unschooling has
> resonated with me from the beginning, and I hope to be completely
> comfortable and confident with our choice by the time Talon becomes
> school age because just the mention of homeschooling to family and
> friends already elicits disapproval. I have always been the rebel
in
> the family, so I can accept disapproval; I just want to get to a
point
> where I no longer feel and act defensive when the questions come at
> us. Terry is also new to the idea of unschooling, but is willing
to
> follow my lead in the learning proces.
>
> So that brings me to thank you. I appreciate not only all the
> information and personal experiences shared here, but most
especially
> appreciate that you, Sandra, and others allow no mistake about what
> unschooling is and isn't. It is very difficult for a person new to
> unschooling to wade through a discussion group and pick out
inaccurate
> information. I know I don't have to worry about that here because
the
> more experienced members will point that stuff out, and I really
> appreciate that.
>
> As for the conference thing, I am wanting to attend the HENA
> conference here in Arizona in March with Terry. My anxiety is
that we
> would need to bring Talon along and I'm not sure how that will work
> out. I realize that Terry and I can take turns attending different
> talks, though I think we'd both want to hear Gatto. Talon is a
very
> active boy, and I worry that it will just end up to be 2 days of
> chasing him all over the place. I'm wondering if anyone else who's
> attended a conference with a toddler can share their experience
and/or
> tips to help make it a joyful event.
>
> So, thanks again to all of you who share your time and wisdom
here.
> Tanya
>

Sybelle

Hi Tanya,

My friend Lilo and I are coming too (from Benson). Another thing you
could do is "advertise" for a tween or teen also at the conference to
be with Talon. He or she could even be in the talk with you and Talon
if that is more comfortable. You wouldn't have to "chase" then.

Cindy, is there a HENA Yahoo group where people can connect?

Sybelle


> --- In [email protected], "tanyaziegler" <tanyaz1@>
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all. I've been lurking on this list for many months and
wanted
> to
> > finally introduce myself and thank everyone for sharing their
> > unschooling wisdom.
> >
> > My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and
> our
> > 18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.
> >
> > I began researching homeschooling stuff I think when Talon was
> about
> > 10 months old. I promptly came across unschooling and Sandra's
> > website and haven't looked back. The concept of unschooling has
> > resonated with me from the beginning, and I hope to be completely
> > comfortable and confident with our choice by the time Talon
becomes
> > school age because just the mention of homeschooling to family and
> > friends already elicits disapproval. I have always been the
rebel
> in
> > the family, so I can accept disapproval; I just want to get to a
> point
> > where I no longer feel and act defensive when the questions come
at
> > us. Terry is also new to the idea of unschooling, but is willing
> to
> > follow my lead in the learning proces.
> >
> > So that brings me to thank you. I appreciate not only all the
> > information and personal experiences shared here, but most
> especially
> > appreciate that you, Sandra, and others allow no mistake about
what
> > unschooling is and isn't. It is very difficult for a person new
to
> > unschooling to wade through a discussion group and pick out
> inaccurate
> > information. I know I don't have to worry about that here
because
> the
> > more experienced members will point that stuff out, and I really
> > appreciate that.
> >
> > As for the conference thing, I am wanting to attend the HENA
> > conference here in Arizona in March with Terry. My anxiety is
> that we
> > would need to bring Talon along and I'm not sure how that will
work
> > out. I realize that Terry and I can take turns attending
different
> > talks, though I think we'd both want to hear Gatto. Talon is a
> very
> > active boy, and I worry that it will just end up to be 2 days of
> > chasing him all over the place. I'm wondering if anyone else
who's
> > attended a conference with a toddler can share their experience
> and/or
> > tips to help make it a joyful event.
> >
> > So, thanks again to all of you who share your time and wisdom
> here.
> > Tanya
> >
>

tracyliebmann

Hi Tanya!

I saw Gatto speak last fall at the RE conference and there were
kids and adults coming in and out...he didn't seem to notice, he
seemed totally accepting of everything :-) He is a really great
man...for me it was interesting to "watch" myself around him,
because he is MY fathers age and from Pittsburg (which is where I am
from)he kind of pushed my father buttons <<<which is not all that
pleasant for me. Anyway...I realized that he is a wonderful, open,
accepting man, I realized I was coming from my CONDITIONED
mind<<<which is really the point I'm trying to make :-) Sorry for
the rambling!

Unschooling really requires watching our conditioning, going to an
unschooling conference will really help you open up to how things
are different than how most of us were conditioned. Children are
totally accepted at the conferences...children are why we are there,
right?? They are not something that should be kept "outside" the
grown up stuff, they should be there right next to you Living AND
Learning <BWG>! SO...GO and enJOY!!

Peace~Love~Free~ Tracy



--- In [email protected], "Cindy Fox" <cindyfox@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Tanya!
>
> We welcome children at the HENA conference. You are welcome to
> bring him to any talks and other parents will be in the same
> situation. :)
>
> We were hoping to be in a larger venue this year, but a fire in
the
> Student Union building at ASU put us back in the same building as
> last year - that means there isn't extra room as we had hoped when
> we booked JTG, but the room he is speaking in is tiered with
stairs,
> parents of small kids often sat on the end of the row and let
kids
> play in the aisle or down front or up in back. We'll also have a
> fun room right outside the back door of the main speaking room -
> last year it was a vendor room, but this year we'll only have two
> vendor rooms and the third will be a hangout/play room for
families.
>
> Of course you can take turns and one of you see him one day and
the
> other the other day. But then you have to cordinate seeing Sandra
> and Pam and all the others. :) The family rate includes
> grandparents for free or you're welcome to bring a sitter for any
> length of time.
>
> Hope that helps!
>
> Take care, c.
>
> Cindy Fox
> www.HENA.us
>
> --- In [email protected], "tanyaziegler" <tanyaz1@>
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all. I've been lurking on this list for many months and
wanted
> to
> > finally introduce myself and thank everyone for sharing their
> > unschooling wisdom.
> >
> > My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and
> our
> > 18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.
> >
> > I began researching homeschooling stuff I think when Talon was
> about
> > 10 months old. I promptly came across unschooling and Sandra's
> > website and haven't looked back. The concept of unschooling has
> > resonated with me from the beginning, and I hope to be completely
> > comfortable and confident with our choice by the time Talon
becomes
> > school age because just the mention of homeschooling to family
and
> > friends already elicits disapproval. I have always been the
rebel
> in
> > the family, so I can accept disapproval; I just want to get to a
> point
> > where I no longer feel and act defensive when the questions come
at
> > us. Terry is also new to the idea of unschooling, but is
willing
> to
> > follow my lead in the learning proces.
> >
> > So that brings me to thank you. I appreciate not only all the
> > information and personal experiences shared here, but most
> especially
> > appreciate that you, Sandra, and others allow no mistake about
what
> > unschooling is and isn't. It is very difficult for a person new
to
> > unschooling to wade through a discussion group and pick out
> inaccurate
> > information. I know I don't have to worry about that here
because
> the
> > more experienced members will point that stuff out, and I really
> > appreciate that.
> >
> > As for the conference thing, I am wanting to attend the HENA
> > conference here in Arizona in March with Terry. My anxiety is
> that we
> > would need to bring Talon along and I'm not sure how that will
work
> > out. I realize that Terry and I can take turns attending
different
> > talks, though I think we'd both want to hear Gatto. Talon is a
> very
> > active boy, and I worry that it will just end up to be 2 days of
> > chasing him all over the place. I'm wondering if anyone else
who's
> > attended a conference with a toddler can share their experience
> and/or
> > tips to help make it a joyful event.
> >
> > So, thanks again to all of you who share your time and wisdom
> here.
> > Tanya
> >
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-Children are totally accepted at the conferences...children are
why we are there, right?? -=-


Not at all conferences. You'd think so, but no.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tanya Ziegler

--- In [email protected], "Gold Standard" <jacki@...> wrote:
>
> >>My name is Tanya. My significant other of 6 years is Terry, and our
> >>18mo son is Talon. We live in Phoenix, Arizona.<<
>
> Join us at Phoenix_Unschoolers@..., if you haven't already!
>
> Jacki
>

Yes, I am a member over there. At the time I subscribed, there wasn't
much going on and I got the impression that it wasn't a very active
group. I realize now that the activity comes and goes since your
reminder to me about the group sent be back over there to do some
catching up. Thanks!

Tanya

Tanya Ziegler

<tracyliebmann@...> wrote:
> Unschooling really requires watching our conditioning... , going to an
> unschooling conference will really help you open up to how things
> are different than how most of us were conditioned.


I have been trying to raise Talon by the principles of unschooling
from the beginning. When he was 4mo and became fiercely angry for not
being able to fit his rattle in his mouth, I knew we needed to find
different principles for raising him than the strict rules Terry and I
were raised with.

Terry and I both have a lot of old conditioning. It is amazing how
some of it has already begun to fall away as we mindfully practice
living by principles rather than rules. I'm hoping that attending
conferences will help fill in the blanks and enhance our
understanding. I also think it will be beneficial for Terry to hear
others talk about unschooling. I'm not always very good at explaining
stuff, especially something I'm just beginning to understand myself.

I am certainly aware, however, that we still have some serious
deschooling to do ourselves. For instance, right now, Talon is
standing beside me, engaged in one of his favorite activities of
drinking from a 14-oz cup and dribblig it ALL down in his chin and
onto his clothes for nothing more than entertainment. No big deal,
right? Well, my whole body is cringing. And that just tells me I
have more conditioning to let go. It is just water after all!

Thanks also, Tracy, for sharing your Gatto experience.
Tanya

Sandra Dodd

-=For instance, right now, Talon is
standing beside me, engaged in one of his favorite activities of
drinking from a 14-oz cup and dribblig it ALL down in his chin and
onto his clothes for nothing more than entertainment. No big deal,
right? Well, my whole body is cringing. And that just tells me I
have more conditioning to let go. It is just water after all! -=-



Can't you get him a smaller cup?

There ARE things to do besides cringe and recondition ourselves.
Lots of things to do.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tanya Ziegler

> Can't you get him a smaller cup?

> There ARE things to do besides cringe and recondition ourselves.
> Lots of things to do.


Losing the mindset of either/or has been a challenge for me. When I
read, "Lots of things to do", my mind does not automatically know what
those might be. I am sitting here thinking quite a bit about
alternatives. I look forward to the day that creative ideas and
solutions for anything will become second nature or at least much
easier.

Tanya

Sandra Dodd

-=-I look forward to the day that creative ideas and
solutions for anything will become second nature or at least much
easier. -=-

Any day now! <g>

Brainstorming is one of the specialties of this group (specialities
for members in the U.K. who have great ideas too).

Cups with lids, drinking outside (yeah, not in winter though) or in
the bathtub. Messy food in the bathtub can be fun. Pudding with
hands. Pudding as wall paint. A shower-down.



AElflaed




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn L. Coburn

<<<< Cups with lids, drinking outside (yeah, not in winter though) or in
> the bathtub. Messy food in the bathtub can be fun. Pudding with
> hands. Pudding as wall paint. A shower-down.>>>>

Why are cringing, or perhaps more accurately what are you cringing about? Is
it the idea of mess in the house, or that he looks untidy, or that people
will think he is a sloppy eater and make negative judgements about him or
you? Is it the idea that he is not taking care of himself or his things -
some lurking "should" in your mind? Were you never allowed to be messy when
young?

If it is the tactile sensation of pouring water he likes - which was
something Jayn was very into - more opportunities to get wet and pour that
don't involve standing next to a computer could be salutary. We have played
great games in the bathroom with squirt bottles in our play clothes or
swimsuits, including in winter then into the shower to get warm. The best
times in the world were when we went for a stroll around the neighborhood
and found sprinklers on by the sidewalk.

Jayn used to stand for an hour or more on the stepladder by the sink full of
tepid water with numerous plastic utensils and containers. Then she would
stand for even longer with bubbles. Later she loved making potions with
vinegar and baking soda and various old spices or cake sprinkles (which melt
colorfully). I would spread a few dish cloths (or tea towels as we used to
say back home) to catch the moisture.

If you are worried about his clothes getting wet, or what he looks like all
wet, well I used to carry a few extra changes of clothes with me all the
time. My concern was ensuring that Jayn stayed comfortable and warm and
secondarily saving the interior of the car, but looking cleaner was a nice
extra. There's a big difference between hanging out at home and being out in
public.

Find the source of your discomfort. I've found that to be the best path to
finding the right solution to mitigate it, even if in the end that solution
was "letting go".

Robyn L. Coburn

Tanya Ziegler

"Robyn L. Coburn" wrote:

> Why are you cringing, or perhaps more accurately what are you
cringing about? ... Find the source of your discomfort. I've found
that to be the best path to finding the right solution to mitigate it,
even if in the end that solution was "letting go".

I've been thinking about this. I first thought it was just old
conditioning of "don't make a mess". I'm not sure though. If Talon
dribbles water all down his clothes in the morning while he's still
wearing his pajamas, I don't seem to get too worked up about it - we
just change his clothes and get him dressed for the day. Same at
night if he does it, I just change him into his pajamas. So any other
time, I guess it's just about him getting his clothes all wet and
either wearing wet clothes or having to change. I guess I would just
as soon neither be the case. So, maybe it is just about "don't make a
mess" afterall. I'm not sure.

The reason he does it is for the sensation of dribbling water down his
chin. It's a new thing and apparently fun. He does do it in the
bathtub too.

Tanya

hmsdragonfly

--- Tanya wrote:
> So, maybe it is just about "don't make a mess" afterall. I'm not
> sure.
>
> The reason he does it is for the sensation of dribbling water down his
> chin.

Then you can both have what you want! I love it when that happens! :-)

This happens to me all the time with unschooling: the discovery that
two desires that are apparently in conflict can both be met with only
the smallest of adjustments.

I've spent the last five years saying "Yes" all the time, and yet my
more selfish, "I want things my way" side is all filled up. Maybe it's
because all those yeses helped me tap into my own creativity, so it's
available to help me get the things *I* want, too.

Ronnie