proudwahm

That is the question I've been asking myself lately. First let me
introduce myself...My name is Estella and I'm new to the group. My
husband Dan and I have 3 kids, Junior is 6-Hunter id 4 3/4 and Jalynn
just turned 1 yr old. My boys have never been in school and I've
been really working with Junior since last year and he has really
been struggling to learn his letter, sounds and so on. My MIL is a K
school teacher and always feeding bad thoughts into my hubbys head
which causes problems and doubts in him. I know that him being home
with me is the best thing for him and if he was a school and having
these issues he would be made to feel like he was stupid and couldn't
do the work. Then of course he would be left behind and probably
made fun of too.

Just recently I learned that my son is more of an auditory learner
which makes some since as to why what I've been doing just isn't
working for him. He has trouble paying attention and absolutely
HATES doing any kind of book work. Which brings me to my
question... "Is unschooling for us?" I've started in the last week
letting some thing go and give him for free reign on what he gets to
learn about and it does seem to be helping. I've found these great
Leap Frog DVDs that he loves and he is starting to spell thing from
learning their sounds off of this DVD which does make me feel good
but still there is the question of...How do you get to trusting that
your kids WILL learn naturally on their own?

I look forward to getting to know all of you and look forward to many
successful homeschooling/unschooling years together!

Thanks!

Joyce Fetteroll

On Nov 7, 2007, at 10:19 PM, proudwahm wrote:

> he is starting to spell thing from
> learning their sounds off of this DVD which does make me feel good

What, right now, does he need to spell in the standard way for?

Really, it's a serious question. Why does he need, right now, to spell?

How will his life as a 7 or 8 or 9 year old be lacking if he isn't
spelling in the standard way until he's 10? Or 12?

In school 6 yos need to spell because schools need to demonstrate to
the watch dogs (parents, administration, state) that kids are
learning something. They need all the kids progressing at the same
pace because they depend on a factory model to make mass education
cheaper. They need all the kids learning the same thing at the same
time because it's expensive to pull a child out for special
instruction who gets off track.

None of that is about what the child needs in the moment.

Learning that way is *very* difficult. It takes a huge amount of
repetition to get the majority of kids to the level the schools need
in order to keep the assembly line moving at the proper speed. So,
they need to start early with the kids.

Real learning does not take anywhere near that long and happens
fairly effortlessly. (It looks a lot like play and living life.) Kids
who learn naturally learn to spell when they need to spell: writing
emails and Facebook messages and letters and writing stories and
video game walkthroughs and role playing, etc. The biggest, hugest
boom to learning to spell is automatic spell checking. There are
words that I've misspelled for years that I'm getting right more
often than not because I get immediate feedback when I get it wrong.
(And, importantly, it's immediate feedback while writing something
that is meaningful for me to spell right!)

> My MIL is a K
> school teacher and always feeding bad thoughts into my hubbys head
>
Your mother in law is expert on keeping the production line moving.
She doesn't know the unique needs of turning out unique individuals.

Don't tell her that though! ;-)

> How do you get to trusting that
> your kids WILL learn naturally on their own?
>
Reading of others' experiences. Reading about why it works. Observing
your own kids.

http://sandradodd.com
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com

Joyce

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Estella Schmelter

Thanks so much Joyce! I will look into the website for sure. I've been reading more and more about unschooling and finding that it fits more of my beliefs...

Do you have recommendations on specific books I might be able to pick up on unschooling? I really need to be educated so when my husband starts asking questions I know the answers.

Thanks for your help!
Estella

Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:

On Nov 7, 2007, at 10:19 PM, proudwahm wrote:

> he is starting to spell thing from
> learning their sounds off of this DVD which does make me feel good

What, right now, does he need to spell in the standard way for?

Really, it's a serious question. Why does he need, right now, to spell?

How will his life as a 7 or 8 or 9 year old be lacking if he isn't
spelling in the standard way until he's 10? Or 12?

In school 6 yos need to spell because schools need to demonstrate to
the watch dogs (parents, administration, state) that kids are
learning something. They need all the kids progressing at the same
pace because they depend on a factory model to make mass education
cheaper. They need all the kids learning the same thing at the same
time because it's expensive to pull a child out for special
instruction who gets off track.

None of that is about what the child needs in the moment.

Learning that way is *very* difficult. It takes a huge amount of
repetition to get the majority of kids to the level the schools need
in order to keep the assembly line moving at the proper speed. So,
they need to start early with the kids.

Real learning does not take anywhere near that long and happens
fairly effortlessly. (It looks a lot like play and living life.) Kids
who learn naturally learn to spell when they need to spell: writing
emails and Facebook messages and letters and writing stories and
video game walkthroughs and role playing, etc. The biggest, hugest
boom to learning to spell is automatic spell checking. There are
words that I've misspelled for years that I'm getting right more
often than not because I get immediate feedback when I get it wrong.
(And, importantly, it's immediate feedback while writing something
that is meaningful for me to spell right!)

> My MIL is a K
> school teacher and always feeding bad thoughts into my hubbys head
>
Your mother in law is expert on keeping the production line moving.
She doesn't know the unique needs of turning out unique individuals.

Don't tell her that though! ;-)

> How do you get to trusting that
> your kids WILL learn naturally on their own?
>
Reading of others' experiences. Reading about why it works. Observing
your own kids.

http://sandradodd.com
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com

Joyce

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/8/2007 12:54:47 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jfetteroll@... writes:

The biggest, hugest
boom to learning to spell is automatic spell checking.


I'm not really "automatic", but moms are good spell-checkers, too. When I
needed to know how to spell something at home when I was a kid, I *always* got,
"Go look it up", "That's what dictionaries are for", and "Go ask the
dictionary". I loved the dictionary and reading in my spare time and playing games
with it with my dad, but when I was trying to accomplish something, being told
to "go look it up" was frustrating and time-consuming. I think of this every
time Wyl asks me how to spell something, and I patiently and slowly (so that
he has time to write it out as I spell it out loud) spell for him what he
needs. That's what I would have liked when I was a kid. I don't have *any* fears
that he won't learn to spell these words himself eventually. I'm *still*
learning how to spell words correctly-and the last one that's very clear in my
memory was "definitely", and I learned to spell that right from chatting IM
with an online friend. :~) Even if I learned more correct spellings from
"looking it up", the ones that are memorable come from daily, happy interactions.

Peace,
De



************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com


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Pam Tellew

<<<I'm not really "automatic", but moms are good spell-checkers, too.>>>

Didn't John Holt say something like all anybody needs to learn to
read and write is someone who will answer the two questions, "What
does this say?" and "How do you write that?" I remember he had some
concept of people who would be available in libraries or such with
buttons that say, "Ask me."

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Pamela Sorooshian

Oh - a memory. For a year or so our library system had a program in
place called, "OWL." It stood for something - I can't remember what,
but you could call the library and someone (a real live person) would
try to find the answer to any question you asked. It was REALLY fun.
It was pre-Google. <G>

-pam

On Nov 9, 2007, at 8:53 AM, Pam Tellew wrote:

> I remember he had some
> concept of people who would be available in libraries or such with
> buttons that say, "Ask me."



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-Oh - a memory. For a year or so our library system had a program in
place called, "OWL." It stood for something - I can't remember what,
but you could call the library and someone (a real live person) would
try to find the answer to any question you asked. It was REALLY fun.
It was pre-Google. <G>
-=-

In Albuquerque the main library had an answer desk. It was great.
Someone sitting in the reference section would look things up for
you. I bet they still have it, but the person uses google.

There was also (and might still be) "Ask a Nurse" through
Presbyterian hospital. Same kind of deal, for medical questions.
Now we use google for that too. (They probably do too.)

Sandra

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