Unschoolers and Trick-or-Treating
Sunday Cote
Did you notice this while trick-or-treating last night?
My boys went trick-or-treating with another unschooling friend and I
noticed that our kids would launch into long conversations with the
adults giving out candy. They would tell them about their costumes and
introduce themselves. They would linger at each door and just chat
while the other kids in the neighborhood would zoom up to the door,
barely utter "thanks" and rush to the next house. I see this as a
pattern in other areas of our lives as well. They talk to waitresses
and store clerks and other parents. I credit this to the fact that
they've never been trained to view adults as distant authority figures
at the front of some classroom or that they are not supposed to engage
with adults other than when they raise their hand to ask a question.
I love this about our kids. The other day we were at our weekly park
day and my 9 year old was having the greatest conversation with another
mom about his new Tamagatchi. She was sharing tricks and ideas about
her own experiences and generally just enjoying his company,
enthusiastic about his new passion. It never occurred to him that this
was out-of-the-ordinary. It has just been his experience in life.
This is the kind of benefit from unschooling that can be taken for
granted sometimes. But really, when it comes right down to it, it's one
of the greatest and most important reasons why I unschool. For my
children to know that their ideas and passions are important and worthy
- even to an adult - will serve them so much more than if they ever know
algebra or how to diagram a sentence. In fact, those things can be
learned in a relatively short time period. However, the belief that
their passions and ideas are insignificant to adults and that they must
always look outside of themselves for direction and approval - following
a course that has pre-ordained by an authority figure - just might never
be unlearned.
Here's to trick-or-treat-and-talking!
Sunday
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My boys went trick-or-treating with another unschooling friend and I
noticed that our kids would launch into long conversations with the
adults giving out candy. They would tell them about their costumes and
introduce themselves. They would linger at each door and just chat
while the other kids in the neighborhood would zoom up to the door,
barely utter "thanks" and rush to the next house. I see this as a
pattern in other areas of our lives as well. They talk to waitresses
and store clerks and other parents. I credit this to the fact that
they've never been trained to view adults as distant authority figures
at the front of some classroom or that they are not supposed to engage
with adults other than when they raise their hand to ask a question.
I love this about our kids. The other day we were at our weekly park
day and my 9 year old was having the greatest conversation with another
mom about his new Tamagatchi. She was sharing tricks and ideas about
her own experiences and generally just enjoying his company,
enthusiastic about his new passion. It never occurred to him that this
was out-of-the-ordinary. It has just been his experience in life.
This is the kind of benefit from unschooling that can be taken for
granted sometimes. But really, when it comes right down to it, it's one
of the greatest and most important reasons why I unschool. For my
children to know that their ideas and passions are important and worthy
- even to an adult - will serve them so much more than if they ever know
algebra or how to diagram a sentence. In fact, those things can be
learned in a relatively short time period. However, the belief that
their passions and ideas are insignificant to adults and that they must
always look outside of themselves for direction and approval - following
a course that has pre-ordained by an authority figure - just might never
be unlearned.
Here's to trick-or-treat-and-talking!
Sunday
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Erica Iwamura
My 5 year old son would talk to them a bit. Not huge conversations but he
would tell them a little about his costume (SWAT team costume) and if they
had a costume on he would say "nice costume" or if it was a lady giving out
the candy he would tell them they were pretty. He's a charmer.
My 7 year old son decided to give out the candy this year.
Erica
would tell them a little about his costume (SWAT team costume) and if they
had a costume on he would say "nice costume" or if it was a lady giving out
the candy he would tell them they were pretty. He's a charmer.
My 7 year old son decided to give out the candy this year.
Erica
On 11/1/07, Sunday Cote <sundaycote@...> wrote:
>
> Did you notice this while trick-or-treating last night?
>
> My boys went trick-or-treating with another unschooling friend and I
> noticed that our kids would launch into long conversations with the
> adults giving out candy. They would tell them about their costumes and
> introduce themselves. They would linger at each door and just chat
> while the other kids in the neighborhood would zoom up to the door,
> barely utter "thanks" and rush to the next house. I see this as a
> pattern in other areas of our lives as well. They talk to waitresses
> and store clerks and other parents. I credit this to the fact that
> they've never been trained to view adults as distant authority figures
> at the front of some classroom or that they are not supposed to engage
> with adults other than when they raise their hand to ask a question.
>
> I love this about our kids. The other day we were at our weekly park
> day and my 9 year old was having the greatest conversation with another
> mom about his new Tamagatchi. She was sharing tricks and ideas about
> her own experiences and generally just enjoying his company,
> enthusiastic about his new passion. It never occurred to him that this
> was out-of-the-ordinary. It has just been his experience in life.
>
> This is the kind of benefit from unschooling that can be taken for
> granted sometimes. But really, when it comes right down to it, it's one
> of the greatest and most important reasons why I unschool. For my
> children to know that their ideas and passions are important and worthy
> - even to an adult - will serve them so much more than if they ever know
> algebra or how to diagram a sentence. In fact, those things can be
> learned in a relatively short time period. However, the belief that
> their passions and ideas are insignificant to adults and that they must
> always look outside of themselves for direction and approval - following
> a course that has pre-ordained by an authority figure - just might never
> be unlearned.
>
> Here's to trick-or-treat-and-talking!
>
> Sunday
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
--
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar - Helen
Keller
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nancy Wooton
On Nov 1, 2007, at 9:14 AM, Sunday Cote wrote:
museum's dinosaur exhibit. Alex, the younger kid, was chatting up the
docent, telling him all about other aspects of the particular dinosaur,
stuff he'd read and learned on TV, etc. The docent looked up at me as
Alex trotted off to the next exhibit and said, "Homeschooled, right?"
The first time I met a homeschooled teenager was at the first
conference/seminar I ever attended. My kids were still pretty young
and I was still pretty unsure. This young man introduced himself,
asked how I was enjoying the conference, looked me straight in the eye,
was actually interested in the answer and in pursuing the conversation.
Up till then, I'd never had a conversation with a teen who didn't look
at the ground the whole time. (FYI, for those who remember her from
AOL, this was Janie Levine's son.)
Nancy
> My boys went trick-or-treating with another unschooling friend and IWhen my kids were maybe 11 and 8, we were visiting the natural history
> noticed that our kids would launch into long conversations with the
> adults giving out candy. They would tell them about their costumes and
> introduce themselves. They would linger at each door and just chat
> while the other kids in the neighborhood would zoom up to the door,
> barely utter "thanks" and rush to the next house. I see this as a
> pattern in other areas of our lives as well. They talk to waitresses
> and store clerks and other parents. I credit this to the fact that
> they've never been trained to view adults as distant authority figures
> at the front of some classroom or that they are not supposed to engage
> with adults other than when they raise their hand to ask a question.
museum's dinosaur exhibit. Alex, the younger kid, was chatting up the
docent, telling him all about other aspects of the particular dinosaur,
stuff he'd read and learned on TV, etc. The docent looked up at me as
Alex trotted off to the next exhibit and said, "Homeschooled, right?"
The first time I met a homeschooled teenager was at the first
conference/seminar I ever attended. My kids were still pretty young
and I was still pretty unsure. This young man introduced himself,
asked how I was enjoying the conference, looked me straight in the eye,
was actually interested in the answer and in pursuing the conversation.
Up till then, I'd never had a conversation with a teen who didn't look
at the ground the whole time. (FYI, for those who remember her from
AOL, this was Janie Levine's son.)
Nancy
Sandra Dodd
-=-When my kids were maybe 11 and 8, we were visiting the natural
history
museum's dinosaur exhibit. Alex, the younger kid, was chatting up the
docent, telling him all about other aspects of the particular dinosaur,
stuff he'd read and learned on TV, etc. The docent looked up at me as
Alex trotted off to the next exhibit and said, "Homeschooled, right?"-=-
Holly was nearly two, and she and I went to Georgia for an SCA event
(Fool's War). I was staying with friends of an SCA friend, because
they had a bigger house and room for us. I was apprehensive about
staying with strangers. I was delivered to their house and a boy 11
or 12 came out, introduced himself, helped me get my luggage, made
eye contact, was wearing jeans that were too short for him, and was
of a geeky build and constitution, but was carrying himself as though
he were Arnold Schwartzenegger in 1976.
When he was out of earshot, I said to the mom, "You homeschool, right?"
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
history
museum's dinosaur exhibit. Alex, the younger kid, was chatting up the
docent, telling him all about other aspects of the particular dinosaur,
stuff he'd read and learned on TV, etc. The docent looked up at me as
Alex trotted off to the next exhibit and said, "Homeschooled, right?"-=-
Holly was nearly two, and she and I went to Georgia for an SCA event
(Fool's War). I was staying with friends of an SCA friend, because
they had a bigger house and room for us. I was apprehensive about
staying with strangers. I was delivered to their house and a boy 11
or 12 came out, introduced himself, helped me get my luggage, made
eye contact, was wearing jeans that were too short for him, and was
of a geeky build and constitution, but was carrying himself as though
he were Arnold Schwartzenegger in 1976.
When he was out of earshot, I said to the mom, "You homeschool, right?"
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
harmony
A man opened his door and my son noticed sports paraphernalia around his house so they started talking about which teams they like. They all talked for a while, then the man tried to give my daughter some candy and she said very politely "no, I don't need it. Thanks"
> -------Original Message-------
> From: Sunday Cote <sundaycote@...>
> Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Unschoolers and Trick-or-Treating
> Sent: Nov 01 '07 10:14am
>
> Did you notice this while trick-or-treating last night?
>
> My boys went trick-or-treating with another unschooling friend and I
> noticed that our kids would launch into long conversations with the
> adults giving out candy. They would tell them about their costumes and
> introduce themselves. They would linger at each door and just chat
> while the other kids in the neighborhood would zoom up to the door,
> barely utter "thanks" and rush to the next house. I see this as a
> pattern in other areas of our lives as well. They talk to waitresses
> and store clerks and other parents. I credit this to the fact that
> they've never been trained to view adults as distant authority figures
> at the front of some classroom or that they are not supposed to engage
> with adults other than when they raise their hand to ask a question.
>
> I love this about our kids. The other day we were at our weekly park
> day and my 9 year old was having the greatest conversation with another
> mom about his new Tamagatchi. She was sharing tricks and ideas about
> her own experiences and generally just enjoying his company,
> enthusiastic about his new passion. It never occurred to him that this
> was out-of-the-ordinary. It has just been his experience in life.
>
> This is the kind of benefit from unschooling that can be taken for
> granted sometimes. But really, when it comes right down to it, it's one
> of the greatest and most important reasons why I unschool. For my
> children to know that their ideas and passions are important and worthy
> - even to an adult - will serve them so much more than if they ever know
> algebra or how to diagram a sentence. In fact, those things can be
> learned in a relatively short time period. However, the belief that
> their passions and ideas are insignificant to adults and that they must
> always look outside of themselves for direction and approval - following
> a course that has pre-ordained by an authority figure - just might never
> be unlearned.
>
> Here's to trick-or-treat-and-talking!
>
> Sunday
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
Laureen
Heya!
On 11/1/07, Sunday Cote <sundaycote@...> wrote:
>
> Did you notice this while trick-or-treating last night?
We didn't actually trick-or-treat. The Marina we live at hosts a big bbq
party and bonfire, so we went to that. My children were the only children
there, and I felt kinda weird about that. Like somehow I was stunting them,
or something.
Then I put away my fears, and started actually watching *my kids*.
Rowan (who is five) appointed himself the Greeter. The pit where the bonfire
was is down from the parking lot and walkway, so Rowan would see people
pausing uncertainly at the edge, dash up the stairs, introduce himself, ask
them if they were hungry, and then direct them to the goodness on the BBQ
and the potluck table, pointing out his favorites along the way. Then once
they were talking to an adult, he'd run back up the stairs to watch for more
people. Once the stream of newcomers died down, he began circulating, making
sure people had had a chance to throw wood on the fire (he'd gotten the idea
it was good luck to do so), and just generally exuding hospitality. I was,
frankly, in awe. I'm not nearly that gregarious, but apparently, he is.
Kestrel (who is two) was all about the food. We'd asked people to bring some
sort of dessert item to share, above and beyond the bag-o-candy default, and
they outdid themselves. There were crockpots of chili and bowls of salads
and chips and breads and cakes and pies and cookies and tarts and just an
amazing array of "the good stuff". Kestrel would toddle over, ask for help
getting a cookie or whatever, take it back to his seat, eat it with intense
focus, toddle back over, try something new. Sometimes he'd see people reach
for something, and announce loudly "Oh, that's yummy! You want that!".
I asked Rowan, as we were heading to bed once it was all over, if it was fun
for him, or if he'd have rather done the dress up, house-to-house thing. He
smiled, and said, "I had a great time, Mama. I'm very good at parties."
--
~~L!
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
http://lifewithoutschool.typepad.com/
Publishing here:
http://huntpress.com/
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Angela Shaw
As we were walking I was talking to the mom's I was with when we were trick
or treating. Mine were the only unschooled kids. Both of the other girls
have always gone to public school.(but one is going to be home/un schooled
soon) The kids were 10, 11, 12, and 13, and we had a toddler in tow. The
girls walked to all the houses and just enjoyed being out. They didn't even
seem to mind waiting till the toddler caught up. They were in no hurry. My
comment was that I remember RUNNING from house to house. I am not sure what
is different with these kids. I do know my kids are drawn to kids with a
similar personality though. Hmmm. Just thinking.
Angela Shaw
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
or treating. Mine were the only unschooled kids. Both of the other girls
have always gone to public school.(but one is going to be home/un schooled
soon) The kids were 10, 11, 12, and 13, and we had a toddler in tow. The
girls walked to all the houses and just enjoyed being out. They didn't even
seem to mind waiting till the toddler caught up. They were in no hurry. My
comment was that I remember RUNNING from house to house. I am not sure what
is different with these kids. I do know my kids are drawn to kids with a
similar personality though. Hmmm. Just thinking.
Angela Shaw
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/2007 8:15:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
game-enthusiast@... writes:
The
girls walked to all the houses and just enjoyed being out. They didn't even
seem to mind waiting till the toddler caught up. They were in no hurry. My
comment was that I remember RUNNING from house to house. I am not sure what
is different with these kids. I do know my kids are drawn to kids with a
similar personality though.
Wyl, 8, *runs* from house to house, but he runs everywhere. {grin} *At* each
house, he does strike up conversations-sometimes moving on and thinking of
more to add to the conversation, so he goes back to talk some more! Then he's
off at a full-tilt run again. He used to talk to the kids, too, commenting on
their costumes and stuff, but has started holding back on talking to the
kids... they look at him like he's from another planet when he talks to them. I
don't know if they don't know how to talk to a kid they don't *know* or if
they're not used to sincere compliments with no agenda or if its something
else... sad, though...
Peace,
De
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
game-enthusiast@... writes:
The
girls walked to all the houses and just enjoyed being out. They didn't even
seem to mind waiting till the toddler caught up. They were in no hurry. My
comment was that I remember RUNNING from house to house. I am not sure what
is different with these kids. I do know my kids are drawn to kids with a
similar personality though.
Wyl, 8, *runs* from house to house, but he runs everywhere. {grin} *At* each
house, he does strike up conversations-sometimes moving on and thinking of
more to add to the conversation, so he goes back to talk some more! Then he's
off at a full-tilt run again. He used to talk to the kids, too, commenting on
their costumes and stuff, but has started holding back on talking to the
kids... they look at him like he's from another planet when he talks to them. I
don't know if they don't know how to talk to a kid they don't *know* or if
they're not used to sincere compliments with no agenda or if its something
else... sad, though...
Peace,
De
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nancy Wooton
On Nov 2, 2007, at 9:13 AM, Sanguinegirl83@... wrote:
conversation-starter on each shoulder... her pet rats (well, two at a
time of the five females). The only kid who squeaked and ran away was
a teen girl, but she came right back; she said she'd owned a pet rat
that had died, and Laura's looked just like it. Most kids and parents
enjoyed seeing them. (Alex wanted to bring his snake out to help with
candy distribution, but she'd gone to sleep under her water dish.)
Nancy
> *At* eachMy 20 y.o. dd did most of the candy distribution this year, with a
> house, he does strike up conversations-sometimes moving on and
> thinking of
> more to add to the conversation, so he goes back to talk some more!
> Then he's
> off at a full-tilt run again.
conversation-starter on each shoulder... her pet rats (well, two at a
time of the five females). The only kid who squeaked and ran away was
a teen girl, but she came right back; she said she'd owned a pet rat
that had died, and Laura's looked just like it. Most kids and parents
enjoyed seeing them. (Alex wanted to bring his snake out to help with
candy distribution, but she'd gone to sleep under her water dish.)
Nancy
Pamela Sorooshian
Max. Where IS he now? Wish I knew - anybody?
Janie was the first unschooler I ever talked to - she was a vendor at
a local conference and I was all alone and lonely. She ate lunch with
me and introduced me to other people and that afternoon spent at
least an hour just talking to me about unschooling.
-pam
Janie was the first unschooler I ever talked to - she was a vendor at
a local conference and I was all alone and lonely. She ate lunch with
me and introduced me to other people and that afternoon spent at
least an hour just talking to me about unschooling.
-pam
On Nov 1, 2007, at 12:41 PM, Nancy Wooton wrote:
> (FYI, for those who remember her from
> AOL, this was Janie Levine's son.)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shannon Rizzo
Sometimes my kids rushed from house to house very excited, and sometimes
they went more slowly, but they all chatted with the people at the doors.
At one point one of my daughters tripped and her cauldron of candy fell and
candy spilled in the driveway and gutter. There were two groups of people
near us. The group approaching us was headed by a mother and she called out
"let's help this girl pick up her candy" (she also said "and I want to see
it go in her bucket, no one else's" which was sad) and all of those kids
took time to help pick up the candy. I'm sure they would have anyway even
if she had said nothing, of course. Another group of kids was behind us
crossing the street and one guy, who sounded about 13 or so, said "point and
laugh, point and laugh." I was torn between helping my child and going over
and saying something to them, but I stayed to help her. The niceness of
these other kids offset the other guy.
Shannon
No virus found in this outgoing message.
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11:04 AM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
they went more slowly, but they all chatted with the people at the doors.
At one point one of my daughters tripped and her cauldron of candy fell and
candy spilled in the driveway and gutter. There were two groups of people
near us. The group approaching us was headed by a mother and she called out
"let's help this girl pick up her candy" (she also said "and I want to see
it go in her bucket, no one else's" which was sad) and all of those kids
took time to help pick up the candy. I'm sure they would have anyway even
if she had said nothing, of course. Another group of kids was behind us
crossing the street and one guy, who sounded about 13 or so, said "point and
laugh, point and laugh." I was torn between helping my child and going over
and saying something to them, but I stayed to help her. The niceness of
these other kids offset the other guy.
Shannon
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.503 / Virus Database: 269.15.19/1105 - Release Date: 11/2/2007
11:04 AM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]