TV, Computer and Unschooling
Dawn Falbe
This has been so true for us with Zak and his Lego Racers Video game.... Yes
guys I listened to what you all had to say and then I decided to limit it to
so many hours, or after he'd done other things. The tantrums (at 6 1/2)
were like when he was 2.... Hubby and I talked about how this was not
beneficial to him... So we gave him unlimited access to this program. He's
still playing on it about 6 hours a day. He told me yesterday "it's very
challenging mummy.. I'm going to beat Rocket Racer and get the #1 trophy and
then I'm going to need Lego Racers 2"... Can you imagine the thrill (being
sarcastic) I got from realizing that he's going to move onto another
computer game. He is incredible at this game. I suggested that we might
ask in our homeschooling group if anyone else plays this and maybe they
could compete with each other. He really liked the idea of this, although
he did say he didn't think anyone was as good as him as Lego Racers
(unschooling has certainly continued to give him great self esteem)....
He still goes and does other things... In between Lego Racers yesterday he
went to the grocery store with hubby, shopped and figured out how much
things cost. Played in the Cub House there with other kids for about 45
mins (hubby took 2 hours to grocery shop!!)...Took a ride on his bike...
Talked about endless things such as wanting to go roller skating, what are
resources and where to find them, going to the moon or some other planet,
why competition is healthy, family dynamics, where's other grandma and
grandpa, why do animals look different, reading all the signs in the windows
on the stores when he went to the video store with daddy, watching DK video
on Elephants and on and on and on and all interspersed with him asking tons
of questions.
So what's the upshot of all this.... We've decided to let him just do what
he wants when it comes to his Lego Racers... Nobody stops me from reading a
book or watching 5 hours of TV when I'm feeling burned out and need to veg.
This is still an on-going internal battle for me... However my son doesn't
seem to be having any problems with it.
Dawn
*** He tantrums for the TV to be on longer all the time. The more he
watches the more he asks the more he wants.***
Put it on and let it stay on for a full year. No, two years. The reason he
cannot limit himself is because you're limiting him. There is no way for him
to find his natural patterns if you're there either demanding or cajoling
him away from the TV.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
guys I listened to what you all had to say and then I decided to limit it to
so many hours, or after he'd done other things. The tantrums (at 6 1/2)
were like when he was 2.... Hubby and I talked about how this was not
beneficial to him... So we gave him unlimited access to this program. He's
still playing on it about 6 hours a day. He told me yesterday "it's very
challenging mummy.. I'm going to beat Rocket Racer and get the #1 trophy and
then I'm going to need Lego Racers 2"... Can you imagine the thrill (being
sarcastic) I got from realizing that he's going to move onto another
computer game. He is incredible at this game. I suggested that we might
ask in our homeschooling group if anyone else plays this and maybe they
could compete with each other. He really liked the idea of this, although
he did say he didn't think anyone was as good as him as Lego Racers
(unschooling has certainly continued to give him great self esteem)....
He still goes and does other things... In between Lego Racers yesterday he
went to the grocery store with hubby, shopped and figured out how much
things cost. Played in the Cub House there with other kids for about 45
mins (hubby took 2 hours to grocery shop!!)...Took a ride on his bike...
Talked about endless things such as wanting to go roller skating, what are
resources and where to find them, going to the moon or some other planet,
why competition is healthy, family dynamics, where's other grandma and
grandpa, why do animals look different, reading all the signs in the windows
on the stores when he went to the video store with daddy, watching DK video
on Elephants and on and on and on and all interspersed with him asking tons
of questions.
So what's the upshot of all this.... We've decided to let him just do what
he wants when it comes to his Lego Racers... Nobody stops me from reading a
book or watching 5 hours of TV when I'm feeling burned out and need to veg.
This is still an on-going internal battle for me... However my son doesn't
seem to be having any problems with it.
Dawn
*** He tantrums for the TV to be on longer all the time. The more he
watches the more he asks the more he wants.***
Put it on and let it stay on for a full year. No, two years. The reason he
cannot limit himself is because you're limiting him. There is no way for him
to find his natural patterns if you're there either demanding or cajoling
him away from the TV.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Peggy
Intense kids are intense about their interests. Intensity is good. ;)
Peggy
Dawn Falbe wrote:
Peggy
Dawn Falbe wrote:
>
> This has been so true for us with Zak and his Lego Racers Video game.... Yes
> guys I listened to what you all had to say and then I decided to limit it to
> so many hours, or after he'd done other things. The tantrums (at 6 1/2)
> were like when he was 2.... Hubby and I talked about how this was not
> beneficial to him... So we gave him unlimited access to this program. He's
> still playing on it about 6 hours a day. He told me yesterday "it's very
> challenging mummy.. I'm going to beat Rocket Racer and get the #1 trophy and
> then I'm going to need Lego Racers 2"... Can you imagine the thrill (being
> sarcastic) I got from realizing that he's going to move onto another
> computer game. He is incredible at this game. I suggested that we might
> ask in our homeschooling group if anyone else plays this and maybe they
> could compete with each other. He really liked the idea of this, although
> he did say he didn't think anyone was as good as him as Lego Racers
> (unschooling has certainly continued to give him great self esteem)....
>
> He still goes and does other things... In between Lego Racers yesterday he
> went to the grocery store with hubby, shopped and figured out how much
> things cost. Played in the Cub House there with other kids for about 45
> mins (hubby took 2 hours to grocery shop!!)...Took a ride on his bike...
> Talked about endless things such as wanting to go roller skating, what are
> resources and where to find them, going to the moon or some other planet,
> why competition is healthy, family dynamics, where's other grandma and
> grandpa, why do animals look different, reading all the signs in the windows
> on the stores when he went to the video store with daddy, watching DK video
> on Elephants and on and on and on and all interspersed with him asking tons
> of questions.
>
> So what's the upshot of all this.... We've decided to let him just do what
> he wants when it comes to his Lego Racers... Nobody stops me from reading a
> book or watching 5 hours of TV when I'm feeling burned out and need to veg.
>
> This is still an on-going internal battle for me... However my son doesn't
> seem to be having any problems with it.
>
> Dawn
>
> *** He tantrums for the TV to be on longer all the time. The more he
>
> watches the more he asks the more he wants.***
>
> Put it on and let it stay on for a full year. No, two years. The reason he
>
> cannot limit himself is because you're limiting him. There is no way for him
>
> to find his natural patterns if you're there either demanding or cajoling
>
> him away from the TV.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Earth Witch
Mary,
I once felt as you do. I fought daily with my boys, 4
& 5, over the TV. Then I finally got it. I left them
alone. John (5) can use the remote so he can put on a
show he likes or his brother likes. It was hard, for
me, and at first they watched a lot of tv. Then they
started to turn it off. They found their limit. It
is the same with sweets. I limited food choices for a
long time. They decide what they want for breakfast,
lunch, snacks, and when to eat it. I usually pick
dinner, but they can choose something else if they
want. We have had days where Alexander (4yo) will
want only sugary food. But we have other days where
he wants only brocoli and carrots w/rice. He is
healthy, that is what *really* matters.
What it comes down to, for me, is this, when I limit
them they cannot learn their own limit. When I let
them choose, they learn how much they can handle. Our
bodies crave the food we need (of course not ALL
cravings are needs) and how much time we need to do
certain activities. Have you ever noticed that when
you deny yourself a craving, it only increases? I
need to read for a while every day, that is my way to
relax. My kids at this stage use the tv for that.
They have huge amounts of energy and need to run
around a little every day. I make sure they have a
safe place to do that.
So, my suggestion is, let them be. They will be okay
and you will feel better without fighting them. Trust
is hard, but that is one of the things kids need most
from their parents. It is important to remember that
kids are people with feelings, ideas, and thoughts of
their own. Think about how you would feel in their
position. Do you like to feel controlled by some one
else? Have some one tell you to stop the activity you
are enjoying? I don't. Neither do my kids. That
does not mean that I am not here for them if they want
suggestions though.
I haven't read others responses, but I am sure you
will get plenty of good advice. I hope you will
consider it.
Namaste,
Kitrina
__________________________________________________
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I once felt as you do. I fought daily with my boys, 4
& 5, over the TV. Then I finally got it. I left them
alone. John (5) can use the remote so he can put on a
show he likes or his brother likes. It was hard, for
me, and at first they watched a lot of tv. Then they
started to turn it off. They found their limit. It
is the same with sweets. I limited food choices for a
long time. They decide what they want for breakfast,
lunch, snacks, and when to eat it. I usually pick
dinner, but they can choose something else if they
want. We have had days where Alexander (4yo) will
want only sugary food. But we have other days where
he wants only brocoli and carrots w/rice. He is
healthy, that is what *really* matters.
What it comes down to, for me, is this, when I limit
them they cannot learn their own limit. When I let
them choose, they learn how much they can handle. Our
bodies crave the food we need (of course not ALL
cravings are needs) and how much time we need to do
certain activities. Have you ever noticed that when
you deny yourself a craving, it only increases? I
need to read for a while every day, that is my way to
relax. My kids at this stage use the tv for that.
They have huge amounts of energy and need to run
around a little every day. I make sure they have a
safe place to do that.
So, my suggestion is, let them be. They will be okay
and you will feel better without fighting them. Trust
is hard, but that is one of the things kids need most
from their parents. It is important to remember that
kids are people with feelings, ideas, and thoughts of
their own. Think about how you would feel in their
position. Do you like to feel controlled by some one
else? Have some one tell you to stop the activity you
are enjoying? I don't. Neither do my kids. That
does not mean that I am not here for them if they want
suggestions though.
I haven't read others responses, but I am sure you
will get plenty of good advice. I hope you will
consider it.
Namaste,
Kitrina
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions!
http://auctions.yahoo.com