Dawn Falbe

Hi All:

DH and I were just having a conversation about needing to change the
guardians of our children in our Will... We would want someone who would
let the kids still homeschool and the current guardians (my parents) would
have them in public school so fast you're head would spin.. Does anybody
have experience with this and what did you do about? Or has anybody else
thought about it and what they are thinking about doing.

Dawn


********************
Dawn Falbe
Astrologer Coach
(520) 312-5300
********************
www.astrologerdawn.com
dawn@...
Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose

"The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
Bernard Shaw

"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
George Bernard Shaw



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

On Sat, 26 Jan 2002 07:57:47 -0700 "Dawn Falbe" <dawn@...>
writes:
> Does
> anybody
> have experience with this and what did you do about?

Hi Dawn,
I had such a hard time with this. No matter how much I love my family,
NO ONE seems good enough to care for my child! Crazy.
We chose one of my sisters in law and her husband because when all was
said and done they have the greatest kids, happy and secure, and they're
very involved with them. They don't homeschool, and weren't sure they
could homeschool Dylan. Dylan, after some consideration, thinks he'd
want to be with someone who would homeschool, and we're now considering
my sister.

The legal advise was, to explain in the will WHY we changed legal
guardians, so that no one could claim we simply made a mistake and that
the guardianship should be awarded to the previous choice. Don't
forget about changing the beneficiaries of insurance policies, etc. when
you do this. Ugh, I hated this, I always feel for anyone making these
choices.

Deb L

Peggy

Not an expert but have heard conversations on this before. First off, it
is important to remember that putting down a guardian on a will is
considered a suggestion and can be easily challenged by a living
relative. Courts have the tendency to support blood relatives over non
relatives. So your best bet would be a blood relative who will support
your feelings on school, discipline, etc.



Peggy


Dawn Falbe wrote:
>
> Hi All:
>
> DH and I were just having a conversation about needing to change the
> guardians of our children in our Will... We would want someone who would
> let the kids still homeschool and the current guardians (my parents) would
> have them in public school so fast you're head would spin.. Does anybody
> have experience with this and what did you do about? Or has anybody else
> thought about it and what they are thinking about doing.
>
> Dawn
>
> ********************
> Dawn Falbe
> Astrologer Coach
> (520) 312-5300
> ********************
> www.astrologerdawn.com
> dawn@...
> Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
>
> "The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
> circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
> Bernard Shaw
>
> "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
> George Bernard Shaw
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

zenmomma *

>>DH and I were just having a conversation about needing to change the
guardians of our children in our Will... We would want someone who would
let the kids still homeschool and the current guardians (my parents) would
have them in public school so fast you're head would spin.. Does anybody
have experience with this and what did you do about? Or has anybody else
thought about it and what they are thinking about doing.>>

We have wills that name my former sil (my brother's ex-wife) as guardian of
our kids. She and I have had many discussions and she thinks unschooling is
great. We're lucky in that way. But we did break some traditions to get
there. We didn't choose parents or siblings or any of the usual choices for
guardian. We even, technically, went outside the family in what could have
been a touchy situation. But we told everyone our reasons and we have enough
insurance to make sure my former sil/now best friend can stop working. It
brings me *some* peace of mind. Hard to think aobut this stuff, though.

~Mary


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gruvystarchild

--Dawn,
That is a really tough one.
I am fortunate to have a homeschooling sis that respects my way of
doing things. She and I are very close and I know she'd raise my kids
in a healthy manner.
I have to wonder about options in your case?
I mean which would be worse in the event that both of you should
die...to go to school, or be raised by someone they aren't as close
to as their Grandparents?
Are the children fairly close to them?
I think that would weigh heavily in my decision.
And chances are, you will live to be very old and raise your kids the
way you see fit. It's a good idea to think about and plan for this
possibility though.
Ren



- In AlwaysLearning@y..., "Dawn Falbe" <dawn@a...> wrote:
> Hi All:
>
> DH and I were just having a conversation about needing to change the
> guardians of our children in our Will... We would want someone who
would
> let the kids still homeschool and the current guardians (my
parents) would
> have them in public school so fast you're head would spin.. Does
anybody
> have experience with this and what did you do about? Or has
anybody else
> thought about it and what they are thinking about doing.
>
> Dawn
>
>
> ********************
> Dawn Falbe
> Astrologer Coach
> (520) 312-5300
> ********************
> www.astrologerdawn.com
> dawn@a...
> Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
>
> "The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look
for the
> circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." -
George
> Bernard Shaw
>
> "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in
school" -
> George Bernard Shaw
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/26/02 7:54:19 AM, dawn@... writes:

<< Or has anybody else
thought about it and what they are thinking about doing. >>

We have a friend assigned to be financial guardian, and one thing he's to do
is arrange for them to stay in the house, if possible, with someone who will
go along with the homeschooling if the kids still want to.

As Kirby's nearly 16, the panic is somewhat off. Their ages are centered
around 13 now. When their ages were centered around five or six, I was truly
nervous.

There are several adult friends who would be candidates for coming here to
live with the kids if it came to that. We have several single friends who've
known the kids since they were born. But making inflexible deals now would
be rough. It will be a matter of distribution of funds and an attempt to
maintain the freedom to which they've become accustomed.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/26/02 9:43:07 AM, peggy@... writes:

<< Courts have the tendency to support blood relatives over non
relatives. So your best bet would be a blood relative who will support
your feelings on school, discipline, etc. >>

My sister's a homeschooler. Keith's brothers wouldn't want the kids, REALLY
would not want them. His parents are in their 80's. We're fairly safe, but
I know some other families are very different.

Sandra

[email protected]

On Sat, 26 Jan 2002 15:50:48 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
> We have several single friends who've
> known the kids since they were born. But making inflexible deals now
would
> be rough. It will be a matter of distribution of funds and an
> attempt to maintain the freedom to which they've become accustomed.
>

Obviously, these are single friends who have no kids :-)

If I die, from all I've heard, Cacie's dad would get custody if he asked
for it. Even though he's an asshole who barely manages to keep his own
head above water, and has no legal rights now, although he's listed on
her birth certificate and the order or paternity. I think that sucks, and
have decided just to not die.

I was also wanting to do some traveling out of the country in the next
year or so, and it's seeming like I'd have to go to court to be able to
do that, because they require a notarized letter from the other parent
giving permission and no way would he do that. That also sucks. A court
battle (and it would be a battle) would be messy, and we both have stuff
in our backgrounds that would make us look unfit. But we want to go to
Australia, and Ireland, and France....

Dar
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Peggy

Frankly I think it comes down to economics. Many siblings wouldn't
necessarily like more children either but the increase in funds is
attractive. Proving a point about spanking "working" or homeschooling
being a bunch of baloney can be another ego plus.

Can you tell I have five siblings? ;)

Peggy

SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 1/26/02 9:43:07 AM, peggy@... writes:
>
> << Courts have the tendency to support blood relatives over non
> relatives. So your best bet would be a blood relative who will support
> your feelings on school, discipline, etc. >>
>
> My sister's a homeschooler. Keith's brothers wouldn't want the kids, REALLY
> would not want them. His parents are in their 80's. We're fairly safe, but
> I know some other families are very different.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/26/02 4:33:38 PM, freeform@... writes:

<< A court
battle (and it would be a battle) would be messy, and we both have stuff
in our backgrounds that would make us look unfit. But we want to go to
Australia, and Ireland, and France.... >>

BOTH?
Then I would stoop to light blackmail. Tell him he looks bad enough without
depriving her of a huge and wonderful opportunity, and you will be loud about
it if you have to protest his refusal..

Sandra

[email protected]

On Sat, 26 Jan 2002 23:30:35 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
> In a message dated 1/26/02 4:33:38 PM, freeform@... writes:
>
> << A court
> battle (and it would be a battle) would be messy, and we both have
stuff
> in our backgrounds that would make us look unfit. But we want to go
to
> Australia, and Ireland, and France.... >>
>
> BOTH?

Well, yeah. Maybe not at the same time, at least Australia would be a
separate trip. ;-) We both want to go to Ireland, Cacie's middle name is
Erin for Ireland, and her last name is Quinlan, and she's has always
wanted to go to Paris, and I have a friend in Sydney we could stay with,
plus I'd love to go there... so, since we plan to spend a few years
bumming around...

> Then I would stoop to light blackmail. Tell him he looks bad enough
without
> depriving her of a huge and wonderful opportunity, and you will be
loud about
> it if you have to protest his refusal..
>
But I have no one to be loud *to*. He doesn't care about looking bad,
because he doesn't care what anyone thinks, except maybe Cacie and his
maybe oldest daughter. He thinks all my friends hate him anyway - they
don't, a couplre actually like him, but he's a touch paranoid. And of
course I don't want to put Cacie in the middle. I was thinking perhaps of
offering him a deal, he always talks about wanting to take her camping
and stuff, and if she wanted to do it maybe I could tell him that he
could if he wrote me this letter and had it notarized... I dunno. Kinda
iffy. Still thinking.

Dar
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carolyn

Why do you have to have a letter to get his permission to travel out of
the country? I took my daughter to England and there was no problem or
questions asked.

Carolyn



freeform@... wrote:

>
>
> On Sat, 26 Jan 2002 23:30:35 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
> > In a message dated 1/26/02 4:33:38 PM, freeform@... writes:
> >
> > << A court
> > battle (and it would be a battle) would be messy, and we both have
> stuff
> > in our backgrounds that would make us look unfit. But we want to go
>
> to
> > Australia, and Ireland, and France.... >>
> >


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

On Sun, 27 Jan 2002 10:36:38 -0800 carolyn <nielsonc@...> writes:
> Why do you have to have a letter to get his permission to travel out
of
> the country? I took my daughter to England and there was no problem
or
> questions asked.

Really? Was this before or after 9-11, and what kind of
custodial-paternity documentation did you have? If you don't mind my
asking...? Legally they can bar your entry if you don't have a notarized
letter, because of possible custodial issues, and from what I've heard
it's gotten harder since 9-11. Cacie's been to Mexico with me lots of
times, but only going within the free zone (100 miles of the border) and
we've never been asked for anything (although last time they did thump
the car a lot more on the US inspection). We flew to Canada twice, when
she was 7 months okd no one asked anything, but when she was 3 we had a
big hassle, where they pulled us off into a little room and tried to ask
her questions... it went like this:

Customs Agent: (looking at birth certificate) What's your name?

Cacie: Cacie Quinlan

Me: That's short for Acacia, her full name is Acacia.

CA: When were you born?

(Cacie looks blank)

Me: When is your birthday?

Cacie: OH! January 10.

CA: Who is Daron?

(Cacie points at me)

CA: And who is she?

Cacie: Daron

Me: I am your ____.

Cacie: Oh! Mom.

I think we're very lucky that they didn't send us right back home,
actually.... but I don't want to rsik it again.

Dar


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carolyn

Before 9-11. I asked my travel agent (head of her agency) and she said
I would not need anything. No one asked if I was married/divorced, had
custody etc. so it didn't really matter what my documentation said (full
custody). I did have a letter from my ex giving "permission" (not
notarized) but nobody wanted to see it. My daughter has her own,
separate passport. Perhaps that's the difference? Or have things
changed?

Carolyn



freeform@... wrote:

>
>
> On Sun, 27 Jan 2002 10:36:38 -0800 carolyn <nielsonc@...>
> writes:
> > Why do you have to have a letter to get his permission to travel out
>
> of
> > the country? I took my daughter to England and there was no problem
>
> or
> > questions asked.
>
> Really? Was this before or after 9-11, and what kind of
> custodial-paternity documentation did you have? If you don't mind my
> asking...? Legally they can bar your entry if you don't have a
> notarized
> letter, because of possible custodial issues, and from what I've heard
>
> it's gotten harder since 9-11. Cacie's been to Mexico with me lots of
> times, but only going within the free zone (100 miles of the border)
> and
> we've never been asked for anything (although last time they did thump
>
> the car a lot more on the US inspection). We flew to Canada twice,
> when
> she was 7 months okd no one asked anything, but when she was 3 we had
> a
> big hassle, where they pulled us off into a little room and tried to
> ask
> her questions... it went like this:
>
> Customs Agent: (looking at birth certificate) What's your name?
>
> Cacie: Cacie Quinlan
>
> Me: That's short for Acacia, her full name is Acacia.
>
> CA: When were you born?
>
> (Cacie looks blank)
>
> Me: When is your birthday?
>
> Cacie: OH! January 10.
>
> CA: Who is Daron?
>
> (Cacie points at me)
>
> CA: And who is she?
>
> Cacie: Daron
>
> Me: I am your ____.
>
> Cacie: Oh! Mom.
>
> I think we're very lucky that they didn't send us right back home,
> actually.... but I don't want to rsik it again.
>
> Dar
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/02 4:11:00 PM, freeform@... writes:

<< I think we're very lucky that they didn't send us right back home,
actually.... but I don't want to rsik it again. >>

We go to Canada often -- since 9/11 (I was IN Canada on 9/11) -- the
questions have become less friendly for everyone. It helps to have a
passport for the kids. We've had them asked if they're happy, afraid, sad,
whatever. Not pleasant -- but not threatening, particularly. If one isn't
trying to hide something, anyway. ;-)

Sharon

meghan anderson

<<<<if he wrote me this letter and had it notarized...


Dar>>>>

Dar,
Is that to get Cacie a passport?

Meghan

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meghan anderson

<<<<Really? Was this before or after 9-11, and what
kind of
custodial-paternity documentation did you have? If you
don't mind my
asking...? Legally they can bar your entry if you
don't have a
notarized
letter, because of possible custodial issues, and from
what I've heard
it's gotten harder since 9-11. Cacie's been to Mexico
with me lots of
times, but only going within the free zone (100 miles
of the border)
and
we've never been asked for anything (although last
time they did thump
the car a lot more on the US inspection). We flew to
Canada twice, when
she was 7 months okd no one asked anything, but when
she was 3 we had
a
big hassle, where they pulled us off into a little
room and tried to
ask
her questions... it went like this:

Customs Agent: (looking at birth certificate) What's
your name?

Cacie: Cacie Quinlan

Me: That's short for Acacia, her full name is Acacia.

CA: When were you born?

(Cacie looks blank)

Me: When is your birthday?

Cacie: OH! January 10.

CA: Who is Daron?

(Cacie points at me)

CA: And who is she?

Cacie: Daron

Me: I am your ____.

Cacie: Oh! Mom.

I think we're very lucky that they didn't send us
right back home,
actually.... but I don't want to rsik it again.

Dar>>>>

Wow! I've never had anything like this happen to me
and Tamzin. Mind you, We've never been to Canada.
We've been to and from the UK loads of times, flown
within the US, and been to France and Ireland. No
one's ever asked me for any documentation from her
father (just as well because I didn't have any!). Also
she's flown to and from the UK with her dad and he's
never been asked for a letter from me, and he has a UK
passport and she has a US one. I don't even travel
with her birth certificate, just her passport. Maybe
Canada's just very strict because it's easy to get to
so that's where abductors would go? Once you're out of
the US, I doubt you'd need anything but her passport
and I can't imagine that you'd get any hassle.

Meghan

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