tracy

Hi Sandra~

I really liked this statement and was wondering if you would explain
further what you meant by the "bypass, which looks like unschooling."

Sandra said>>>I know that sometimes newer unschoolers seem baffled that
we're talking so much philosophy and so little (it seems to them)
practicality and "how to" but it's because unschooling only starts to
work after beliefs and viewpoints change. There's not really a
shortcut. There's a bypass, which looks like unschooling that will
work, but it's not sustainable if the parents don't really relax into
it and expect it to be fun and good, and unless they do the work it
takes to create the environment to allow it to work for everyone.<<<

This just really got me thinking...and I like to think :-) So if you
feel up for elaborating, I look forward to reading.

Thanks~ Tracy

Sandra Dodd

-=-was wondering if you would explain
further what you meant by the "bypass, which looks like unschooling."-=-


It has happened many times. I've seen it in person with people whose
kids and houses and families I know. I've seen it at a distance,
when people write after a couple of years and say "Oh..." Or when
people write elsewhere and describe how they "used to unschool" but
that it didn't work and now their kids are in school.

What those situations have most visibly in common is that the kids
end up in school, or being schooled at home.
What they have less visibly in common, but just as surely, is that
the parents went through the motions, made some physical changes,
paid some lip service, made some claims, but never really changed.

For a variety of reasons, one of them school, some of them various
facets of human nature and personal neediness, many people really
want other people to validate them, to endorse them, to "make them
real." The path of least resistence often causes people to skim the
surface like a water bug, scooting from one feel-good moment to the
next, assuming those others they bump into know what's under the
surface of the pond even though they themselves don't know and don't
intend to get wet enough to find out.

For years and years it has been apparent that within the
"homeschooling community," among those who discuss it and analyze it
anyway, the unschoolers are the cool ones. They have the brave and
daring explorers, the creative intellectuals, the philosophers.
There's only so much cool to be derived from saying "We use unit
studies and Saxon math" or "Yeah, we use Oak Meadow." It's easy to
pay money and follow the directions and blame the kids if it doesn't
work. It's easy to go to a support group and copy what it seems
others are doing, and commiserate with them about how hard it all is,
and share field trips and science demos.

If someone's movement toward unschooling is more physical and oratory
than it is mental and emotional, they can look like unschoolers very
quickly, by getting rid of the curriculum they bought before, and by
not requiring math and reading, and by watching movies with their
kids and writing a lot about how much better it is. And it will be
better, no doubt, but will it last?

It will last if the parents see and feel and learn *why* it's
different, and *how* it's working. If they're just operating copy-
cat style, or on trust in one other individual or in a group, and
they plan to go back and ask "now what?" every few days or weeks,
they haven't become unschoolers, they're just acting like
unschoolers. If they haven't been transformed, but are only hanging
with the cool kids and parroting words and actions, when it stops
working they'll jump to the next set of cool kids who seem to know
something new and improved.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

tracy

Very interesting...many of your statements are thought provoking.

>>the parents went through the motions, made some physical changes,
> paid some lip service, made some claims, but never really changed.

So true, this is key...the parents changing...deschooling themselves.
Letting go of old conditioning, conditioning that just about every
american believes. It does take bravery and few are really willing to
dive all the way in! Unschooling is a very revealing process, few are
willing to go through the process...layer by layer.

>>the unschoolers are the cool ones.

In school I tried so hard to be one of the cool ones, it never worked
out so well for me. I love that unschooling has finally helped me
become "cool" <g>

>> If someone's movement toward unschooling is more physical and
oratory than it is mental and emotional, they can look like
unschoolers very quickly, by getting rid of the curriculum they
bought before, and by not requiring math and reading, and by
watching movies with their kids and writing a lot about how much
better it is.

This is the bypass I guess, and yes I have seen it happen often with
not great outcomes. Meaning... the parents don't deschool themselves,
they don't look at themselves and how they parent. The next thing is
for them to say "unschooling doesn't work" and go back to curriculum
and workbooks. To me unschooling isn't about "working", because it's
not about expectations. So anyone waiting for it to "work" is setting
themselves up...IMO

>> If they haven't been transformed, but are only hanging
> with the cool kids and parroting words and actions, when it stops
> working they'll jump to the next set of cool kids who seem to know
> something new and improved.

YEP! Thanks for your insights...got to go make Shrimp and Grits for
my hubbys Fathers Day dinner...yum
Tracy







-- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-was wondering if you would explain
> further what you meant by the "bypass, which looks like
unschooling."-=-
>
>
> It has happened many times. I've seen it in person with people
whose
> kids and houses and families I know. I've seen it at a distance,
> when people write after a couple of years and say "Oh..." Or when
> people write elsewhere and describe how they "used to unschool"
but
> that it didn't work and now their kids are in school.
>
> What those situations have most visibly in common is that the kids
> end up in school, or being schooled at home.
> What they have less visibly in common, but just as surely, is that
> the parents went through the motions, made some physical changes,
> paid some lip service, made some claims, but never really changed.
>
> For a variety of reasons, one of them school, some of them various
> facets of human nature and personal neediness, many people really
> want other people to validate them, to endorse them, to "make them
> real." The path of least resistence often causes people to skim
the
> surface like a water bug, scooting from one feel-good moment to
the
> next, assuming those others they bump into know what's under the
> surface of the pond even though they themselves don't know and
don't
> intend to get wet enough to find out.
>
> For years and years it has been apparent that within the
> "homeschooling community," among those who discuss it and analyze
it
> anyway, the unschoolers are the cool ones. They have the brave
and
> daring explorers, the creative intellectuals, the philosophers.
> There's only so much cool to be derived from saying "We use unit
> studies and Saxon math" or "Yeah, we use Oak Meadow." It's easy
to
> pay money and follow the directions and blame the kids if it
doesn't
> work. It's easy to go to a support group and copy what it seems
> others are doing, and commiserate with them about how hard it all
is,
> and share field trips and science demos.
>
> If someone's movement toward unschooling is more physical and
oratory
> than it is mental and emotional, they can look like unschoolers
very
> quickly, by getting rid of the curriculum they bought before, and
by
> not requiring math and reading, and by watching movies with their
> kids and writing a lot about how much better it is. And it will
be
> better, no doubt, but will it last?
>
> It will last if the parents see and feel and learn *why* it's
> different, and *how* it's working. If they're just operating copy-
> cat style, or on trust in one other individual or in a group, and
> they plan to go back and ask "now what?" every few days or weeks,
> they haven't become unschoolers, they're just acting like
> unschoolers. If they haven't been transformed, but are only
hanging
> with the cool kids and parroting words and actions, when it stops
> working they'll jump to the next set of cool kids who seem to know
> something new and improved.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>