Nanci Kuykendall

In response to whether there is hope to help someone
learn and grow in new directions, I certainly hope so!
Ignorance always leaves room for change, because
ignorance can be cured. Malformed, misinformed or
otherwise misbegotten opinions that are based on life
experience or one sided supporting "research" a person
has done are harder to change than ignorance. It can
be done, but there has to be a willingness on their
part to enter into dialogue on the subject. If they
refuse to really hear you, then you waste your breath.


Nanci K.

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[email protected]

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts on the spanking issue.

My brother is the one who asked me for my opinion. (he should have known
better) I answered and he wrote back.
He's been e-mailing me with these kind of "oh yeah, well what about
this..." statements and I answer.

It seems like he just doesn't get it. He keeps writing and I don't know
if it's because on some level he's really trying to understand or if, as
I suspect, he's just trying to "win" an argument. That is not to say
that things have gotten nasty. Every discussion is quite rational and
calm. (mine at least, <g>)

I might have let it go before now but there is a possibility he will be
getting custody of these children. I have a picture of them here, and
when I look at it I think whatever it takes I have to try to make him
understand.

So, thanks for your thoughts and if you hear a loud, continuous banging
sound you'll know it's my head on the key board.

Deb L

[email protected]

aaaahhhh----I don't buy this one.

I don't believe in spanking. I have done it too. But as soon as I knew
better, I DID better. And never did it again.

I really think the spanking thing is EASY to stop.

It may be my first reaction to things (ingrained since childhood), but
it takes more than one step/one thought/one motion to GET there, so I
can stop myself from actually DOing it.

To spank, you have to have a hold of the child, raise your hand, and
swat---and that's if everything is *right* there. So somewhere in
between, I can get a grip on myself and s-t-o-p. It's gotten so easy
over the years, I don't even have to think about it anymore.



***I spanked very occassionally over the years. I didn't believe in it -
but-

The time that comes to mind was when I picked up Trevor ( a screaming
toddler at the time) he bit into my shoulder with a huge force --- I automatically
swatted his bottom - he let go-

It truly was a one step step/thought/motion. Years after we discussed it,
and I explained to him how it felt to me, and how I thought it was an automatic
response. He understood that.

My point was that we can recognize what we believe in, and then work to make
changes in our behavior to make it agree with the beliefs.

Connie
_www.homeschoolingreflections.com_ (http://www.homeschoolingreflections.com)


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