Ideas for teens who want more social time
hmsdragonfly
My oldest daughter (14) wants to hang out with "cool" teens virtually
every night. We've come up with a couple of ways to help her do that,
but I'm hoping you all can provide some more.
Our ideas:
1) We've started a local group for unschooled teens:
http://teenunschoolers.blogspot.com
2) She has a cousin who starts at the high school next fall, so she's
going to tag along to games and other events, hoping to make contact
with the cool people at school.
I appreciate any ideas!
df
every night. We've come up with a couple of ways to help her do that,
but I'm hoping you all can provide some more.
Our ideas:
1) We've started a local group for unschooled teens:
http://teenunschoolers.blogspot.com
2) She has a cousin who starts at the high school next fall, so she's
going to tag along to games and other events, hoping to make contact
with the cool people at school.
I appreciate any ideas!
df
Pamela Sorooshian
My teens find friends mostly by being involved in specific activities
that they loved. Roxana does musical theater and Rosie plays soccer
and does karate - those are the source of their social life. When
they meet kids at these activities, they make other plans to do
things with them. Also, a lot of their plans are made through MySpace
- kids send out bulletins announcing various activities/get-togehers
to the other kids on their "Friends" list.
-pam
that they loved. Roxana does musical theater and Rosie plays soccer
and does karate - those are the source of their social life. When
they meet kids at these activities, they make other plans to do
things with them. Also, a lot of their plans are made through MySpace
- kids send out bulletins announcing various activities/get-togehers
to the other kids on their "Friends" list.
-pam
On Jun 10, 2007, at 10:29 AM, hmsdragonfly wrote:
>
> I appreciate any ideas!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
We had a park day playgroup when my kids were younger, up until about
when Kirby was 13. It started as a La Leche League group, and as
most of those kids went to school, became an unschooling group.
They still know some of those families.
Kirby started working at a gaming shop when he was 14, but had been
doing role playing games and collectible card games before that (and
during, and after) and lots of their current friends came from those
days.
When Kirby went to work at a pizza place he picked up more friends
(and got that job through gaming friends in the first place).
Marty worked two jobs and picked up zero friends. <g> The people he
worked with liked him, but it didn't lead to hanging out with any
other young co-workers.
Marty and Holly freely acknowledge and appreciate the fact that Kirby
can make friends easily and has enough that there's spillover, and
they all hang out with the same growing group, in various combinations.
So that took years, the stability of their current group of friends,
but it involved hobbies and gaming and social situations that grew
from that (going out to IHOP after the gaming shop closed, going to
Frontier Restaurant after they go to one of the kids' dance recitals
or plays or whatever...
Sandra
when Kirby was 13. It started as a La Leche League group, and as
most of those kids went to school, became an unschooling group.
They still know some of those families.
Kirby started working at a gaming shop when he was 14, but had been
doing role playing games and collectible card games before that (and
during, and after) and lots of their current friends came from those
days.
When Kirby went to work at a pizza place he picked up more friends
(and got that job through gaming friends in the first place).
Marty worked two jobs and picked up zero friends. <g> The people he
worked with liked him, but it didn't lead to hanging out with any
other young co-workers.
Marty and Holly freely acknowledge and appreciate the fact that Kirby
can make friends easily and has enough that there's spillover, and
they all hang out with the same growing group, in various combinations.
So that took years, the stability of their current group of friends,
but it involved hobbies and gaming and social situations that grew
from that (going out to IHOP after the gaming shop closed, going to
Frontier Restaurant after they go to one of the kids' dance recitals
or plays or whatever...
Sandra
Fetteroll
On Jun 10, 2007, at 1:43 PM, Pamela Sorooshian wrote:
their real names and connect to others through various activities
they've been involved with so, for instance, she can click on
Medfield HS Cross Country Team and find all the people on the team
who are on Facebook. And they can add their own connections.
There's the same social stuff as on MySpace but it must have been
designed by an engineer. All the organization is so cool :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Also, a lot of their plans are made through MySpaceKat's getting a lot of use out of Facebook. On that one people use
their real names and connect to others through various activities
they've been involved with so, for instance, she can click on
Medfield HS Cross Country Team and find all the people on the team
who are on Facebook. And they can add their own connections.
There's the same social stuff as on MySpace but it must have been
designed by an engineer. All the organization is so cool :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenstarc4
I like all the ideas so far. I have to say that the biggest hurdle
that we've had isn't so much the kids we meet and the desire to get
together, it's the parents. Perhaps it's just where we live, not
sure, but it seems like all these neat kids we meet at homeschool
park day or the neighborhood, all have parents that greatly restrict
their kids' time outside of the home.
So, for instance, just going to the mall with a few friends is such
an intense negotiation with all the parents of these kids that
Chamille wants to invite. They want down to the minute time slots
(and if I'm late by 5 min, the child is grounded), one parent may
decide that the mall we've picked isn't ok, or one kid has to be home
at 2, even though they have nothing going on, when all the other kids
can be there until 4, and some parents insist that I physically stay
at the mall to have check-ins with the kids, cell phones aren't good
enough. It's tiring! I do it, I jump through all those hoops, even
when they seem absurd to me, just because it means so much to
Chamille. However, I'm the only one doing the driving, and putting
in the time to do stuff so the kids can hang out and be kids.
It's the same thing going on bike rides in the neighborhood. All the
parents want their teens supervised at all times, so I go, for
Chamille because they are all unwilling to do it and just expect
their kids to stay home or ride their bikes in circles in the cul-de-
sac. Yes, teenagers can't ride their bikes outside of the cul-de-
sac. It's crazy! Let's not even mention the 7-11 2 blks away, or
the swimming pool 3 blks away! Here I was thinking how cool it would
be to live so close to a beautiful greenway with paths and trails, a
swimming pool and a convenience store. How cool that would be for a
kid to go and explore. Well it is cool and Chamille gets to go and
do that stuff, I just have to tag along. It's a good thing she likes
me!
I just don't remember doing this kind of stuff when I was a kid.
When we wanted to get together and go to the mall, one of the parents
would take us and drop us off, or we'd take the bus. We could
usually spend many hours there and then have to be home by dinner
time or whatever. When I wanted to go get candy from the store, I
would hop on my bike and ride for a mile and be gone for a while.
Is it just me, or have parents become a lot more restrictive with
their children's lives? It is soooo hard to find times for Chamille
to hang out with friends because they are so busy or their parents
are just too weird.
We keep trying to find more homeschool friends, but it takes so much
time! I just keep plugging away at finding opportunities to meet
other teens. I figure if I stopped trying, nothing would happen, and
even if I keep trying and nothing happens, at least we've done some
fun stuff while trying!
It's funny, I've tried to keep in mind finding others that have
similar interests by doing those activities. Right now, Chamille's
interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool. However,
Chamille is an open minded individual and likes lots of different
people.
that we've had isn't so much the kids we meet and the desire to get
together, it's the parents. Perhaps it's just where we live, not
sure, but it seems like all these neat kids we meet at homeschool
park day or the neighborhood, all have parents that greatly restrict
their kids' time outside of the home.
So, for instance, just going to the mall with a few friends is such
an intense negotiation with all the parents of these kids that
Chamille wants to invite. They want down to the minute time slots
(and if I'm late by 5 min, the child is grounded), one parent may
decide that the mall we've picked isn't ok, or one kid has to be home
at 2, even though they have nothing going on, when all the other kids
can be there until 4, and some parents insist that I physically stay
at the mall to have check-ins with the kids, cell phones aren't good
enough. It's tiring! I do it, I jump through all those hoops, even
when they seem absurd to me, just because it means so much to
Chamille. However, I'm the only one doing the driving, and putting
in the time to do stuff so the kids can hang out and be kids.
It's the same thing going on bike rides in the neighborhood. All the
parents want their teens supervised at all times, so I go, for
Chamille because they are all unwilling to do it and just expect
their kids to stay home or ride their bikes in circles in the cul-de-
sac. Yes, teenagers can't ride their bikes outside of the cul-de-
sac. It's crazy! Let's not even mention the 7-11 2 blks away, or
the swimming pool 3 blks away! Here I was thinking how cool it would
be to live so close to a beautiful greenway with paths and trails, a
swimming pool and a convenience store. How cool that would be for a
kid to go and explore. Well it is cool and Chamille gets to go and
do that stuff, I just have to tag along. It's a good thing she likes
me!
I just don't remember doing this kind of stuff when I was a kid.
When we wanted to get together and go to the mall, one of the parents
would take us and drop us off, or we'd take the bus. We could
usually spend many hours there and then have to be home by dinner
time or whatever. When I wanted to go get candy from the store, I
would hop on my bike and ride for a mile and be gone for a while.
Is it just me, or have parents become a lot more restrictive with
their children's lives? It is soooo hard to find times for Chamille
to hang out with friends because they are so busy or their parents
are just too weird.
We keep trying to find more homeschool friends, but it takes so much
time! I just keep plugging away at finding opportunities to meet
other teens. I figure if I stopped trying, nothing would happen, and
even if I keep trying and nothing happens, at least we've done some
fun stuff while trying!
It's funny, I've tried to keep in mind finding others that have
similar interests by doing those activities. Right now, Chamille's
interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool. However,
Chamille is an open minded individual and likes lots of different
people.
Sandra Dodd
-=-Right now, Chamille's
interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool.-=-
Are there anime clubs or kid-music nights?
Instead of looking for other homeschoolers, maybe look for other emo
fans or anime fans.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool.-=-
Are there anime clubs or kid-music nights?
Instead of looking for other homeschoolers, maybe look for other emo
fans or anime fans.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenstarc4
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
and was disgusted with the way the kids treated each other and the way
the librarian volunteer handled it. Other anime clubs we found were
all old men. I've tried making our own, but no responses.
Chamille has a really big network of similarly minded friends, but none
of them live anywhere near us. We really struggle with finding like
minded individuals in our area.
Keep the ideas coming though, because there has got to be something I
haven't tried yet!
Well, like the kids music night. Is there such a thing? I will look
around for something like that. There are all ages night clubs that
play music, but again it's the not wanting to go by herself and having
to find someone who's parents would allow something like that. She
does like doing stuff with me, but it's just not the same as going with
a group of kids. It's a sort of a catchy situation of wanting to find
friends but needing at least one already to find more. She's really
shy by herself.
>That's what we tried first. She went to an anime club at the library
> -=-Right now, Chamille's
> interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
> emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool.-=-
>
> Are there anime clubs or kid-music nights?
>
> Instead of looking for other homeschoolers, maybe look for other emo
> fans or anime fans.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
and was disgusted with the way the kids treated each other and the way
the librarian volunteer handled it. Other anime clubs we found were
all old men. I've tried making our own, but no responses.
Chamille has a really big network of similarly minded friends, but none
of them live anywhere near us. We really struggle with finding like
minded individuals in our area.
Keep the ideas coming though, because there has got to be something I
haven't tried yet!
Well, like the kids music night. Is there such a thing? I will look
around for something like that. There are all ages night clubs that
play music, but again it's the not wanting to go by herself and having
to find someone who's parents would allow something like that. She
does like doing stuff with me, but it's just not the same as going with
a group of kids. It's a sort of a catchy situation of wanting to find
friends but needing at least one already to find more. She's really
shy by herself.
tootskds
A mom created a group just for teens in our area several years ago.
They do lots of activities together and have hang out days.
Typical month would be like this.
There is a movie Friday.....where they all meet at one house, and it
varies from month to month and watch a movie....could be a documentary
or something fun...depends on who is showing the movie.
There is ice skating a few times a year.
Field trips geared just for teens..
Ball room dancing every Thursday afternoon...Their lessons were very
easy on the wallet.......$5 weekly
Drama every other Wednesday with a play at the end of the year....Lots
of fun there...my 15 year old was Santa in a very contemporary 10
minute 2 person play....
One family hosted a all night movie fest at their home......co-ed
sleep over....It was great the teens were very mature and respectful.
I hosted a Smore's Party at Halloween and they all had a great time
roasting marshmallows, and wearing costumes, playing silly games.
One family hosted a corn maze tour....That was fun....they had a map
and had to use the map to get through a maze of corn. They had a
blast.....
They are very socialized in our area.
We live in a very rural area where there are not many homeschoolers so
we have to travel to anything they do. But as I have encountered,
parents of homeschoolers will go TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH for their
children! :) I know I would!!!
HAPPY HUNTING,
Karen Self
Wife of David
Mother of John(19), Daniel(15) and Matthew(10)
From South Carolina
-- In [email protected], "hmsdragonfly"
<hmsdragonfly@...> wrote:
They do lots of activities together and have hang out days.
Typical month would be like this.
There is a movie Friday.....where they all meet at one house, and it
varies from month to month and watch a movie....could be a documentary
or something fun...depends on who is showing the movie.
There is ice skating a few times a year.
Field trips geared just for teens..
Ball room dancing every Thursday afternoon...Their lessons were very
easy on the wallet.......$5 weekly
Drama every other Wednesday with a play at the end of the year....Lots
of fun there...my 15 year old was Santa in a very contemporary 10
minute 2 person play....
One family hosted a all night movie fest at their home......co-ed
sleep over....It was great the teens were very mature and respectful.
I hosted a Smore's Party at Halloween and they all had a great time
roasting marshmallows, and wearing costumes, playing silly games.
One family hosted a corn maze tour....That was fun....they had a map
and had to use the map to get through a maze of corn. They had a
blast.....
They are very socialized in our area.
We live in a very rural area where there are not many homeschoolers so
we have to travel to anything they do. But as I have encountered,
parents of homeschoolers will go TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH for their
children! :) I know I would!!!
HAPPY HUNTING,
Karen Self
Wife of David
Mother of John(19), Daniel(15) and Matthew(10)
From South Carolina
-- In [email protected], "hmsdragonfly"
<hmsdragonfly@...> wrote:
>
> My oldest daughter (14) wants to hang out with "cool" teens virtually
> every night. We've come up with a couple of ways to help her do that,
> but I'm hoping you all can provide some more.
>
> Our ideas:
> 1) We've started a local group for unschooled teens:
> http://teenunschoolers.blogspot.com
> 2) She has a cousin who starts at the high school next fall, so she's
> going to tag along to games and other events, hoping to make contact
> with the cool people at school.
>
> I appreciate any ideas!
> df
>
Jill Parmer
On Jun 11, 2007, at 11:45 AM, jenstarc4 wrote:
fun music, and caters to the 10 - 15 yo crowd. My kid has a blast
there, and if she goes alone, usually finds someone to skate and have
fun with.
~Jill P in CO (Addi 13, Luke 9)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Keep the ideas coming though, because there has got to be something IDo you have a rollerskating rink in town? The one in our town plays
> haven't tried yet!
>
> Well, like the kids music night. Is there such a thing?
fun music, and caters to the 10 - 15 yo crowd. My kid has a blast
there, and if she goes alone, usually finds someone to skate and have
fun with.
~Jill P in CO (Addi 13, Luke 9)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hmsdragonfly
--- In [email protected], "jenstarc4" <jenstarc4@...>
wrote:
Thanks to all for the ideas so far! Keep 'em coming!
df
wrote:
>Yes, exactly. Are you in western Washington by any chance? LOL.
> Right now, Chamille's
> interests ARE meeting other kids, especially ones that like anime or
> emo screamo music or wearing all black and looking cool. However,
> Chamille is an open minded individual and likes lots of different
> people.
Thanks to all for the ideas so far! Keep 'em coming!
df