balance with work and kids
[email protected]
********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they love
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!***********
I groom dogs, am the director of a state homeschool accountability
association, and coordinate the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference.
None is full-time, but all are time-consuming.
My children are older: 19 and 11. When Duncan was littler, I gave up
the conference one year because it was just taking too much time away
from the family. We're all older (and more experienced) now. They all
understand the importance of what I do (all three businesses), and they
get something out of each one.
Generally I work early morning or late at night. My husband, Ben,
leaves each morning at 6:00. I'm usually up by 7:00. Duncan doesn't
usually get up until about 10:00-ish. Cameron sleeps until 10-ish or
later too, unless he needs to be at work earlier---but then, he's gone.
So I get a few hours each morning when the boys are asleep/gone. Ben
goes to bed around 9:30; Cameron, at 10:00-ish; and Duncan usually
between midnight and 1:00am ( Late nights are his favorite time for
gaming; butwhen he has a friend over---like tonight---they are out on
the trampoline looking at the stars and talking until about midnight).
He almost always stays up one half hour later than I do---I don't know
why. He just likes a little alone time after the rest of us are in bed.
<g> So I have a few hours each evening too when the boys are asleep or
occupied.
I schedule all my groom dogs for early mornings (it's cooler that way
too!), so generally I'm done by the time they wake up (unless Cam has
to work early). I work out in the garage, so they know where to find me
if they need me. All my groom clients know that my kids come first, so
I schedule dogs around my kids and our activities. Plus, although I try
to get dogs out as quickly as possible, I try to be sure to pad my
schedule---just in case the boys need me for something or I get a phone
call or whatever---I hate to rush through a dog. OH! And I believe
seriously in work smarter, not harder! I price myself at the upper end
of the market, so I get 2-3 times what other groomers get. Fewer dogs,
more $$$. Dog money is fun money! <G> So we use it to buy new games or
go out to eat (it bought a praying mantis chrysalis, a bunch of ladybug
larvae, some caterpillars, and a microscope two weeks ago <g>). The
boys like when I have a dog or two in the morning! <bwg>
The other two, the accountability association and the conference, are
kind of seasonal---concentrated in a few weeks throughout the year.
Again, the boys are very generous with me because they know unschooling
can make such a difference in other children's lives. If they ever said
(even hinted!) that it was too much or too hard on the family, I would
dump the conference and the association---in a heartbeat!
I'm really high energy, so I do a LOT each day; but I try to keep
business separate from my time with the boys. I also try to schedule my
own hobbies around them during the day---I garden while the boys are
swimming (or early in the morning while they're sleeping). I read email
early and late and keep the computer on during the day so that I can
check in several times/day in 3-4 minute spurts.
We usually cook together 'cause both boys love to cook. Most of the
cleaning gets done in many small bursts through out the day---plus we
have someone come clean every other week. THAT helps a lot because we
all clean for the maid! <G> Beds get stripped monthly, and toys and
books and games get picked up at a minimum of every other week so that
Sandy can find the floor to vacuum. She scours the bathrooms and
kitchen, mops and vacuums all floors, and dusts every little thing in
the house---makes my life sooo much easier! And everyone appreciates
the clean house after Sandy leaves, so they don't mind making it easier
for her! <g>
When Duncan was younger, I didn't have so many working irons in the
fire. And I wouldn't now if they said they wanted me more.
As far as feeling guilty? That's just what someone says when his luck
has run out in court! I never feel guilty. If I feel that the boys need
me, I stop what I'm doing. As my own boss, I have that freedom. That's
the only way I would do any of this! It's a balancing act, but one that
leans HEAVILY in favor of the boys and their needs/wants.
They grow up sooo quickly: Cameron's 19 and practically out of the
house! I can't take back these years. I can always work more when
they're gone. But right now, they are my priorities!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!***********
I groom dogs, am the director of a state homeschool accountability
association, and coordinate the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference.
None is full-time, but all are time-consuming.
My children are older: 19 and 11. When Duncan was littler, I gave up
the conference one year because it was just taking too much time away
from the family. We're all older (and more experienced) now. They all
understand the importance of what I do (all three businesses), and they
get something out of each one.
Generally I work early morning or late at night. My husband, Ben,
leaves each morning at 6:00. I'm usually up by 7:00. Duncan doesn't
usually get up until about 10:00-ish. Cameron sleeps until 10-ish or
later too, unless he needs to be at work earlier---but then, he's gone.
So I get a few hours each morning when the boys are asleep/gone. Ben
goes to bed around 9:30; Cameron, at 10:00-ish; and Duncan usually
between midnight and 1:00am ( Late nights are his favorite time for
gaming; butwhen he has a friend over---like tonight---they are out on
the trampoline looking at the stars and talking until about midnight).
He almost always stays up one half hour later than I do---I don't know
why. He just likes a little alone time after the rest of us are in bed.
<g> So I have a few hours each evening too when the boys are asleep or
occupied.
I schedule all my groom dogs for early mornings (it's cooler that way
too!), so generally I'm done by the time they wake up (unless Cam has
to work early). I work out in the garage, so they know where to find me
if they need me. All my groom clients know that my kids come first, so
I schedule dogs around my kids and our activities. Plus, although I try
to get dogs out as quickly as possible, I try to be sure to pad my
schedule---just in case the boys need me for something or I get a phone
call or whatever---I hate to rush through a dog. OH! And I believe
seriously in work smarter, not harder! I price myself at the upper end
of the market, so I get 2-3 times what other groomers get. Fewer dogs,
more $$$. Dog money is fun money! <G> So we use it to buy new games or
go out to eat (it bought a praying mantis chrysalis, a bunch of ladybug
larvae, some caterpillars, and a microscope two weeks ago <g>). The
boys like when I have a dog or two in the morning! <bwg>
The other two, the accountability association and the conference, are
kind of seasonal---concentrated in a few weeks throughout the year.
Again, the boys are very generous with me because they know unschooling
can make such a difference in other children's lives. If they ever said
(even hinted!) that it was too much or too hard on the family, I would
dump the conference and the association---in a heartbeat!
I'm really high energy, so I do a LOT each day; but I try to keep
business separate from my time with the boys. I also try to schedule my
own hobbies around them during the day---I garden while the boys are
swimming (or early in the morning while they're sleeping). I read email
early and late and keep the computer on during the day so that I can
check in several times/day in 3-4 minute spurts.
We usually cook together 'cause both boys love to cook. Most of the
cleaning gets done in many small bursts through out the day---plus we
have someone come clean every other week. THAT helps a lot because we
all clean for the maid! <G> Beds get stripped monthly, and toys and
books and games get picked up at a minimum of every other week so that
Sandy can find the floor to vacuum. She scours the bathrooms and
kitchen, mops and vacuums all floors, and dusts every little thing in
the house---makes my life sooo much easier! And everyone appreciates
the clean house after Sandy leaves, so they don't mind making it easier
for her! <g>
When Duncan was younger, I didn't have so many working irons in the
fire. And I wouldn't now if they said they wanted me more.
As far as feeling guilty? That's just what someone says when his luck
has run out in court! I never feel guilty. If I feel that the boys need
me, I stop what I'm doing. As my own boss, I have that freedom. That's
the only way I would do any of this! It's a balancing act, but one that
leans HEAVILY in favor of the boys and their needs/wants.
They grow up sooo quickly: Cameron's 19 and practically out of the
house! I can't take back these years. I can always work more when
they're gone. But right now, they are my priorities!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
Dawn
Thanks for this info... I'm asking as many people as I can this
question as I'm interested in what others are doing that they love
along with being with their kids and creating a lifestyle for
themselves....
Namaste
Dawn
Tucson, AZ
Zak 11 and Max 7
question as I'm interested in what others are doing that they love
along with being with their kids and creating a lifestyle for
themselves....
Namaste
Dawn
Tucson, AZ
Zak 11 and Max 7
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
>
> ********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they
love
> whilst
> unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
> management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
> your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
> in the same boat!***********
>
> I groom dogs, am the director of a state homeschool accountability
> association, and coordinate the Live and Learn Unschooling
Conference.
> None is full-time, but all are time-consuming.
>
> My children are older: 19 and 11. When Duncan was littler, I gave
up
> the conference one year because it was just taking too much time
away
> from the family. We're all older (and more experienced) now. They
all
> understand the importance of what I do (all three businesses), and
they
> get something out of each one.
>
> Generally I work early morning or late at night. My husband, Ben,
> leaves each morning at 6:00. I'm usually up by 7:00. Duncan
doesn't
> usually get up until about 10:00-ish. Cameron sleeps until 10-ish
or
> later too, unless he needs to be at work earlier---but then, he's
gone.
> So I get a few hours each morning when the boys are asleep/gone.
Ben
> goes to bed around 9:30; Cameron, at 10:00-ish; and Duncan usually
> between midnight and 1:00am ( Late nights are his favorite time
for
> gaming; butwhen he has a friend over---like tonight---they are out
on
> the trampoline looking at the stars and talking until about
midnight).
> He almost always stays up one half hour later than I do---I don't
know
> why. He just likes a little alone time after the rest of us are in
bed.
> <g> So I have a few hours each evening too when the boys are
asleep or
> occupied.
>
> I schedule all my groom dogs for early mornings (it's cooler that
way
> too!), so generally I'm done by the time they wake up (unless Cam
has
> to work early). I work out in the garage, so they know where to
find me
> if they need me. All my groom clients know that my kids come
first, so
> I schedule dogs around my kids and our activities. Plus, although
I try
> to get dogs out as quickly as possible, I try to be sure to pad my
> schedule---just in case the boys need me for something or I get a
phone
> call or whatever---I hate to rush through a dog. OH! And I
believe
> seriously in work smarter, not harder! I price myself at the upper
end
> of the market, so I get 2-3 times what other groomers get. Fewer
dogs,
> more $$$. Dog money is fun money! <G> So we use it to buy new
games or
> go out to eat (it bought a praying mantis chrysalis, a bunch of
ladybug
> larvae, some caterpillars, and a microscope two weeks ago <g>).
The
> boys like when I have a dog or two in the morning! <bwg>
>
> The other two, the accountability association and the conference,
are
> kind of seasonal---concentrated in a few weeks throughout the
year.
> Again, the boys are very generous with me because they know
unschooling
> can make such a difference in other children's lives. If they ever
said
> (even hinted!) that it was too much or too hard on the family, I
would
> dump the conference and the association---in a heartbeat!
>
> I'm really high energy, so I do a LOT each day; but I try to keep
> business separate from my time with the boys. I also try to
schedule my
> own hobbies around them during the day---I garden while the boys
are
> swimming (or early in the morning while they're sleeping). I read
> early and late and keep the computer on during the day so that I
can
> check in several times/day in 3-4 minute spurts.
>
> We usually cook together 'cause both boys love to cook. Most of
the
> cleaning gets done in many small bursts through out the day---plus
we
> have someone come clean every other week. THAT helps a lot because
we
> all clean for the maid! <G> Beds get stripped monthly, and toys
and
> books and games get picked up at a minimum of every other week so
that
> Sandy can find the floor to vacuum. She scours the bathrooms and
> kitchen, mops and vacuums all floors, and dusts every little thing
in
> the house---makes my life sooo much easier! And everyone
appreciates
> the clean house after Sandy leaves, so they don't mind making it
easier
> for her! <g>
>
> When Duncan was younger, I didn't have so many working irons in
the
> fire. And I wouldn't now if they said they wanted me more.
>
> As far as feeling guilty? That's just what someone says when his
luck
> has run out in court! I never feel guilty. If I feel that the boys
need
> me, I stop what I'm doing. As my own boss, I have that freedom.
That's
> the only way I would do any of this! It's a balancing act, but one
that
> leans HEAVILY in favor of the boys and their needs/wants.
>
> They grow up sooo quickly: Cameron's 19 and practically out of the
> house! I can't take back these years. I can always work more when
> they're gone. But right now, they are my priorities!
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
_____________________________________________________________________
___
> AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's
free
> from AOL at AOL.com.
>
Katy
<<<<<I'm asking as many people as I can this
question as I'm interested in what others are doing that they love
along with being with their kids and creating a lifestyle for
themselves....>>>>>
One of my timesavers is just reading email (and just some of the threads), and not writing much, but since I read that I figured I would throw in my routine.
I am a single mom, and I have a full time job outside the home. I have a job that allows me to work 40 hours in 3 days. I work 3 13 hour nights, so Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I sleep until 12 or 1pm, Richard who is 11 sleeps until 11 or 12 in the winter (when his friends are in school) and gets up at around 9 or 10 when his friends are out of school because that is what time they come over to play. He has been a night owl for a few years now, that may change. He is only awake for a few hours while I sleep, and he knows that he can wake me. That wouldn't have worked as well when he was younger. I get up and make him something to eat if he is hungry, walk the very high energy dog if Richard hasn't, if it is Sunday I watch racing with him for an hour or two, and make us dinner, he likes to cook, so sometimes he helps me cook and sometimes I help him cook. I have to be to work by 5:30, so he either hangs out at home and plays xbox or lego until his grandma gets home, or he goes next door to her house where she has cable and internet access. She gets home from work by 7:30, and they hang out until she goes to bed, then he plays, watches tv, gets on the internet, or sometimes his cousin who is 15 comes over or he goes over there. Tuesday nights I drop him off at TaeKwonDo before I go to work and either my mom or brother pick him up for me. I miss him while I am at work, but he calls me a lot and almost always has lots of family around. I get off at 7 am, that is when I check my email at my mom's house, check in on him, and go next door and sleep until 12 or 1. It is not ideal, but it works for us right now.
That is 3 days a week, the other 4 I spend as much time with him as I can (as much as he will allow <g>, he is getting much more independent). He is busy during the summer, as his friends are actually allowed to play <g> and he attends our local space camp and also participates in junior zookeeper programs twice a year. He is also a junior instructor at the TaeKwonDo school, so he is there 3 nights a week. I used to do it with him, and have taken a hiatus. I need/want to start back, especially now that he is old enough that we would be in a class together (he is a much higher rank than me though <g>). During the winter he isn't quite so busy and I get to see him more, and that is nice, but he really likes to be busy. I try to take him out somewhere new every week at least, but when his friends are available he likes to stay home more, and that is fine. I try to get things that I like to do (or want to get done) and he doesn't want to do done while he is playing with friends or off at TKD or the zoo or whatever.
Most Friday's I babysit my friend's almost-1-year-old, and for a while I worried that it was getting to be too much for him, so I stopped. After she hadn't been there for a few weeks he asked me to watch her again, because he missed her. He really likes young kids, well, all kids really.
Sometimes I start to feel like I am not doing enough for him, and I take that as a cue to reevaluate my activities and talk to him about it. If there is too much going on and he needs me more (sometimes he doesn't notice right away), I will drop something. If necessary I can go to work up to 2 hours later, and everything else we do is optional. If my work schedule begins to be too hard on him, I will figure something else out.
My house is usually messier than I like it, but that is ok. It gets mostly cleaned once a week (on Thursday night, usually very late!), since on Fridays we have a little one around. Tomorrow Richard and I are taking the baby to the zoo, there is a newborn Capuchin monkey that we want to see. Like I said, this is not the most ideal situation, but I talk to Richard tons about what we are doing, both our separate activities and the ones we do together, and I have no problem adjusting for him. Some of the advise that I have gotten on the unschooling email lists and people like Sandra and Joyce's sites has been so beneficial to our lives. I used to hate cleaning, and I used to take forever to do it because I hated it. Now I can find joy in it because I think of it as creating a blank slate for Richard, and because I am happy doing it I can do it faster. And he is happy to help sometimes, and when he is not wanting to help that is ok too, because whatever he is doing is important too. That comes directly from the people here! I don't remember who originally made the "blank slate" comment, but it has really helped me a lot. Also the recommendations to put your children's happiness first, when I do that, I am happier. For me a happy child makes me happier, so yes I do always put his needs (including his wants and desires, those are needs too) before mine.
Now I am rambling and I need to go and pick up Richard from TaeKwonDo, and then we may make dinner together, though he just got some new (used) xbox games and he may want to play those instead. Either is fine with me.
Katy J. in Southern NM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
question as I'm interested in what others are doing that they love
along with being with their kids and creating a lifestyle for
themselves....>>>>>
One of my timesavers is just reading email (and just some of the threads), and not writing much, but since I read that I figured I would throw in my routine.
I am a single mom, and I have a full time job outside the home. I have a job that allows me to work 40 hours in 3 days. I work 3 13 hour nights, so Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I sleep until 12 or 1pm, Richard who is 11 sleeps until 11 or 12 in the winter (when his friends are in school) and gets up at around 9 or 10 when his friends are out of school because that is what time they come over to play. He has been a night owl for a few years now, that may change. He is only awake for a few hours while I sleep, and he knows that he can wake me. That wouldn't have worked as well when he was younger. I get up and make him something to eat if he is hungry, walk the very high energy dog if Richard hasn't, if it is Sunday I watch racing with him for an hour or two, and make us dinner, he likes to cook, so sometimes he helps me cook and sometimes I help him cook. I have to be to work by 5:30, so he either hangs out at home and plays xbox or lego until his grandma gets home, or he goes next door to her house where she has cable and internet access. She gets home from work by 7:30, and they hang out until she goes to bed, then he plays, watches tv, gets on the internet, or sometimes his cousin who is 15 comes over or he goes over there. Tuesday nights I drop him off at TaeKwonDo before I go to work and either my mom or brother pick him up for me. I miss him while I am at work, but he calls me a lot and almost always has lots of family around. I get off at 7 am, that is when I check my email at my mom's house, check in on him, and go next door and sleep until 12 or 1. It is not ideal, but it works for us right now.
That is 3 days a week, the other 4 I spend as much time with him as I can (as much as he will allow <g>, he is getting much more independent). He is busy during the summer, as his friends are actually allowed to play <g> and he attends our local space camp and also participates in junior zookeeper programs twice a year. He is also a junior instructor at the TaeKwonDo school, so he is there 3 nights a week. I used to do it with him, and have taken a hiatus. I need/want to start back, especially now that he is old enough that we would be in a class together (he is a much higher rank than me though <g>). During the winter he isn't quite so busy and I get to see him more, and that is nice, but he really likes to be busy. I try to take him out somewhere new every week at least, but when his friends are available he likes to stay home more, and that is fine. I try to get things that I like to do (or want to get done) and he doesn't want to do done while he is playing with friends or off at TKD or the zoo or whatever.
Most Friday's I babysit my friend's almost-1-year-old, and for a while I worried that it was getting to be too much for him, so I stopped. After she hadn't been there for a few weeks he asked me to watch her again, because he missed her. He really likes young kids, well, all kids really.
Sometimes I start to feel like I am not doing enough for him, and I take that as a cue to reevaluate my activities and talk to him about it. If there is too much going on and he needs me more (sometimes he doesn't notice right away), I will drop something. If necessary I can go to work up to 2 hours later, and everything else we do is optional. If my work schedule begins to be too hard on him, I will figure something else out.
My house is usually messier than I like it, but that is ok. It gets mostly cleaned once a week (on Thursday night, usually very late!), since on Fridays we have a little one around. Tomorrow Richard and I are taking the baby to the zoo, there is a newborn Capuchin monkey that we want to see. Like I said, this is not the most ideal situation, but I talk to Richard tons about what we are doing, both our separate activities and the ones we do together, and I have no problem adjusting for him. Some of the advise that I have gotten on the unschooling email lists and people like Sandra and Joyce's sites has been so beneficial to our lives. I used to hate cleaning, and I used to take forever to do it because I hated it. Now I can find joy in it because I think of it as creating a blank slate for Richard, and because I am happy doing it I can do it faster. And he is happy to help sometimes, and when he is not wanting to help that is ok too, because whatever he is doing is important too. That comes directly from the people here! I don't remember who originally made the "blank slate" comment, but it has really helped me a lot. Also the recommendations to put your children's happiness first, when I do that, I am happier. For me a happy child makes me happier, so yes I do always put his needs (including his wants and desires, those are needs too) before mine.
Now I am rambling and I need to go and pick up Richard from TaeKwonDo, and then we may make dinner together, though he just got some new (used) xbox games and he may want to play those instead. Either is fine with me.
Katy J. in Southern NM
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tiffany
Thank you for this thread! I have been wanting, trying to stop
working full-time but I grew up with little more often then with
more. I am scared about going back there and I do not want my kids to
experience that. I thought that because my mom watched Jade and Dylan
they were free to be and that it was going to meet everyone's needs
but even though it sounded great in my head it feels wrong. Lately I
feel so disconnected from them.
Like always I overextend and scheduled a lot of trips which means
making more money but after August I am quitting my job. I am looking
into finding a better way to make the money we need. We will be
cutting back but the time I am losing scares me more than anything in
the world.
I always thought I was putting them first but I wasn't because what
they want is me home and available. Unschooling has changed us a lot
and everyday I see something I could do different to make them smile.
Realizing that I was putting my security before my kid's security
made me feel really bad but it also was the final straw.
I want to thank all those who share the lives with me it helps me
make connections and creates a better life for our family.
working full-time but I grew up with little more often then with
more. I am scared about going back there and I do not want my kids to
experience that. I thought that because my mom watched Jade and Dylan
they were free to be and that it was going to meet everyone's needs
but even though it sounded great in my head it feels wrong. Lately I
feel so disconnected from them.
Like always I overextend and scheduled a lot of trips which means
making more money but after August I am quitting my job. I am looking
into finding a better way to make the money we need. We will be
cutting back but the time I am losing scares me more than anything in
the world.
I always thought I was putting them first but I wasn't because what
they want is me home and available. Unschooling has changed us a lot
and everyday I see something I could do different to make them smile.
Realizing that I was putting my security before my kid's security
made me feel really bad but it also was the final straw.
I want to thank all those who share the lives with me it helps me
make connections and creates a better life for our family.
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
>
> ********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they love
> whilst
> unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
> management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
> your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
> in the same boat!***********
>
> I groom dogs, am the director of a state homeschool accountability
> association, and coordinate the Live and Learn Unschooling
Conference.
> None is full-time, but all are time-consuming.
>
> My children are older: 19 and 11. When Duncan was littler, I gave
up
> the conference one year because it was just taking too much time
away
> from the family. We're all older (and more experienced) now. They
all
> understand the importance of what I do (all three businesses), and
they
> get something out of each one.
>
> Generally I work early morning or late at night. My husband, Ben,
> leaves each morning at 6:00. I'm usually up by 7:00. Duncan doesn't
> usually get up until about 10:00-ish. Cameron sleeps until 10-ish
or
> later too, unless he needs to be at work earlier---but then, he's
gone.
> So I get a few hours each morning when the boys are asleep/gone.
Ben
> goes to bed around 9:30; Cameron, at 10:00-ish; and Duncan usually
> between midnight and 1:00am ( Late nights are his favorite time for
> gaming; butwhen he has a friend over---like tonight---they are out
on
> the trampoline looking at the stars and talking until about
midnight).
> He almost always stays up one half hour later than I do---I don't
know
> why. He just likes a little alone time after the rest of us are in
bed.
> <g> So I have a few hours each evening too when the boys are asleep
or
> occupied.
>
> I schedule all my groom dogs for early mornings (it's cooler that
way
> too!), so generally I'm done by the time they wake up (unless Cam
has
> to work early). I work out in the garage, so they know where to
find me
> if they need me. All my groom clients know that my kids come first,
so
> I schedule dogs around my kids and our activities. Plus, although I
try
> to get dogs out as quickly as possible, I try to be sure to pad my
> schedule---just in case the boys need me for something or I get a
phone
> call or whatever---I hate to rush through a dog. OH! And I believe
> seriously in work smarter, not harder! I price myself at the upper
end
> of the market, so I get 2-3 times what other groomers get. Fewer
dogs,
> more $$$. Dog money is fun money! <G> So we use it to buy new games
or
> go out to eat (it bought a praying mantis chrysalis, a bunch of
ladybug
> larvae, some caterpillars, and a microscope two weeks ago <g>). The
> boys like when I have a dog or two in the morning! <bwg>
>
> The other two, the accountability association and the conference,
are
> kind of seasonal---concentrated in a few weeks throughout the year.
> Again, the boys are very generous with me because they know
unschooling
> can make such a difference in other children's lives. If they ever
said
> (even hinted!) that it was too much or too hard on the family, I
would
> dump the conference and the association---in a heartbeat!
>
> I'm really high energy, so I do a LOT each day; but I try to keep
> business separate from my time with the boys. I also try to
schedule my
> own hobbies around them during the day---I garden while the boys
are
> swimming (or early in the morning while they're sleeping). I read
> early and late and keep the computer on during the day so that I
can
> check in several times/day in 3-4 minute spurts.
>
> We usually cook together 'cause both boys love to cook. Most of the
> cleaning gets done in many small bursts through out the day---plus
we
> have someone come clean every other week. THAT helps a lot because
we
> all clean for the maid! <G> Beds get stripped monthly, and toys and
> books and games get picked up at a minimum of every other week so
that
> Sandy can find the floor to vacuum. She scours the bathrooms and
> kitchen, mops and vacuums all floors, and dusts every little thing
in
> the house---makes my life sooo much easier! And everyone
appreciates
> the clean house after Sandy leaves, so they don't mind making it
easier
> for her! <g>
>
> When Duncan was younger, I didn't have so many working irons in the
> fire. And I wouldn't now if they said they wanted me more.
>
> As far as feeling guilty? That's just what someone says when his
luck
> has run out in court! I never feel guilty. If I feel that the boys
need
> me, I stop what I'm doing. As my own boss, I have that freedom.
That's
> the only way I would do any of this! It's a balancing act, but one
that
> leans HEAVILY in favor of the boys and their needs/wants.
>
> They grow up sooo quickly: Cameron's 19 and practically out of the
> house! I can't take back these years. I can always work more when
> they're gone. But right now, they are my priorities!
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
______________________________________________________________________
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>
Gold Standard
********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they love
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!***********
When dh was in med school, he created a whole set of study tapes that he
recorded for himself to study for the boards. His friends used to borrow and
copy them because they were so good, and we got the idea that maybe they
could be sold more commercially across the country. So we cleaned them up,
added to them, and the result is a home-business that has been going strong
for 10 years. Dh never had much to do with the business...just made the
tapes (now CD's), and I have run the show.
I have always worked around my kids' needs and wants. They are all teenagers
now, and the needs are mostly driving, having enough food for family AND
friends (right now there are 5 visitors on top of our fam of 7), and time
for talking, playing games, etc. When they were younger and more "hands on",
I had more people helping (at the time, I could pay someone $5 an hour to do
some of the manual labor, and it was DEFINITELY worth it, even it if did cut
into profits. One hour of someone working diligently was much more
productive than me trying to get the same amount of work done all day while
taking care of children). As the kids got older and more independent with
their time, I had less people helping, and did more myself. Today, there is
only me and my mother.
The kids have helped in various ways with the business over the years, but
mostly they haven't been interested. They do know that what I'm doing on the
computer is often related to making money that pays the bills, but mostly
they know that if they need me when I am working, they only have to ask. And
I still have to be watchful that I am not ignoring quiet attempts for
attention...kids can be so thoughtful they won't interrupt when they need
something.
I have felt guilty a gazillion times over the years, but not much because of
this business. I have kept it clearly second. I think that guilt can be old
"stuff"...recordings from our past, but I also think that guilt can be an
indicator that there is something to look at in one's parenting. Make
changes if needed, make amends, get clarity, and move forward. Guilt *can*
be paralyzing. Fortunately, I don't feel much guilt at all anymore.
Jacki
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!***********
When dh was in med school, he created a whole set of study tapes that he
recorded for himself to study for the boards. His friends used to borrow and
copy them because they were so good, and we got the idea that maybe they
could be sold more commercially across the country. So we cleaned them up,
added to them, and the result is a home-business that has been going strong
for 10 years. Dh never had much to do with the business...just made the
tapes (now CD's), and I have run the show.
I have always worked around my kids' needs and wants. They are all teenagers
now, and the needs are mostly driving, having enough food for family AND
friends (right now there are 5 visitors on top of our fam of 7), and time
for talking, playing games, etc. When they were younger and more "hands on",
I had more people helping (at the time, I could pay someone $5 an hour to do
some of the manual labor, and it was DEFINITELY worth it, even it if did cut
into profits. One hour of someone working diligently was much more
productive than me trying to get the same amount of work done all day while
taking care of children). As the kids got older and more independent with
their time, I had less people helping, and did more myself. Today, there is
only me and my mother.
The kids have helped in various ways with the business over the years, but
mostly they haven't been interested. They do know that what I'm doing on the
computer is often related to making money that pays the bills, but mostly
they know that if they need me when I am working, they only have to ask. And
I still have to be watchful that I am not ignoring quiet attempts for
attention...kids can be so thoughtful they won't interrupt when they need
something.
I have felt guilty a gazillion times over the years, but not much because of
this business. I have kept it clearly second. I think that guilt can be old
"stuff"...recordings from our past, but I also think that guilt can be an
indicator that there is something to look at in one's parenting. Make
changes if needed, make amends, get clarity, and move forward. Guilt *can*
be paralyzing. Fortunately, I don't feel much guilt at all anymore.
Jacki
Tia Graham
********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they love
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!*******
****
Me! I have an online business (bloggingwithflair.com) and I'm writing a
book this year. My children are 11, 9, 6, and 2. I had a lot of time
that needed to be devoted to the business start up but it's starting to
fall into a sort of routine now. First and foremost, I could NOT do this
unless I was unschooling. We need all areas of our lives to be flexible
and "tidal". In the morning I check on the needs of my clients, then
during the baby's nap I put in two hours of web work. I do the bulk of
my work when my husband gets home, for an hour before dinner and then
several afterwards. I'm strict about two things: mornings through noon
are sacred "kid and house" times (will rarely even answer the phone) and
I always stop early enough to have some wind down time with my husband
(usually 45 min or so on weeknights). We eat all three meals together
because he comes home for lunch. Saturdays I usually work half a day;
that is when I write. I do the housework during the week so it's clean
for the weekend and other than my work time, we spend the rest of it
relaxing, hiking, swimming, church going, and just being together as a
family.
It helps to work fast, to know how to multi-task, and when to set a firm
boundary that can't be crossed. There are times when certain things just
must have a high level of respect. I try to be *in* the moment as much
as possible. When I can't remember what needs doing next, I meditate,
which always helps.
I don't struggle with guilt other than sometimes I feel stretched a
little thin. I wish there was more of me to go around! When that gets
feeling really strong, dh helps me to step back and just focus on one
thing, which is usually doing something fun and relaxing with the
kids.... no housework, no computer, an easy meal.
Blessings and Onward~ Tia
Gold Standard wrote:
whilst
unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
in the same boat!*******
****
Me! I have an online business (bloggingwithflair.com) and I'm writing a
book this year. My children are 11, 9, 6, and 2. I had a lot of time
that needed to be devoted to the business start up but it's starting to
fall into a sort of routine now. First and foremost, I could NOT do this
unless I was unschooling. We need all areas of our lives to be flexible
and "tidal". In the morning I check on the needs of my clients, then
during the baby's nap I put in two hours of web work. I do the bulk of
my work when my husband gets home, for an hour before dinner and then
several afterwards. I'm strict about two things: mornings through noon
are sacred "kid and house" times (will rarely even answer the phone) and
I always stop early enough to have some wind down time with my husband
(usually 45 min or so on weeknights). We eat all three meals together
because he comes home for lunch. Saturdays I usually work half a day;
that is when I write. I do the housework during the week so it's clean
for the weekend and other than my work time, we spend the rest of it
relaxing, hiking, swimming, church going, and just being together as a
family.
It helps to work fast, to know how to multi-task, and when to set a firm
boundary that can't be crossed. There are times when certain things just
must have a high level of respect. I try to be *in* the moment as much
as possible. When I can't remember what needs doing next, I meditate,
which always helps.
I don't struggle with guilt other than sometimes I feel stretched a
little thin. I wish there was more of me to go around! When that gets
feeling really strong, dh helps me to step back and just focus on one
thing, which is usually doing something fun and relaxing with the
kids.... no housework, no computer, an easy meal.
Blessings and Onward~ Tia
Gold Standard wrote:
>
>
>
> ********Who else out there is self employed in doing what they love
> whilst
> unschooling their kids? And how does it work for you with time
> management as well as if you feel any guilt about time you spend on
> your business? Those are the people I need to hear from as we are
> in the same boat!***********
>
> When dh was in med school, he created a whole set of study tapes that he
> recorded for himself to study for the boards. His friends used to
> borrow and
> copy them because they were so good, and we got the idea that maybe they
> could be sold more commercially across the country. So we cleaned them up,
> added to them, and the result is a home-business that has been going
> strong
> for 10 years. Dh never had much to do with the business...just made the
> tapes (now CD's), and I have run the show.
>
> I have always worked around my kids' needs and wants. They are all
> teenagers
> now, and the needs are mostly driving, having enough food for family AND
> friends (right now there are 5 visitors on top of our fam of 7), and time
> for talking, playing games, etc. When they were younger and more
> "hands on",
> I had more people helping (at the time, I could pay someone $5 an hour
> to do
> some of the manual labor, and it was DEFINITELY worth it, even it if
> did cut
> into profits. One hour of someone working diligently was much more
> productive than me trying to get the same amount of work done all day
> while
> taking care of children). As the kids got older and more independent with
> their time, I had less people helping, and did more myself. Today,
> there is
> only me and my mother.
>
> The kids have helped in various ways with the business over the years, but
> mostly they haven't been interested. They do know that what I'm doing
> on the
> computer is often related to making money that pays the bills, but mostly
> they know that if they need me when I am working, they only have to
> ask. And
> I still have to be watchful that I am not ignoring quiet attempts for
> attention...kids can be so thoughtful they won't interrupt when they need
> something.
>
> I have felt guilty a gazillion times over the years, but not much
> because of
> this business. I have kept it clearly second. I think that guilt can
> be old
> "stuff"...recordings from our past, but I also think that guilt can be an
> indicator that there is something to look at in one's parenting. Make
> changes if needed, make amends, get clarity, and move forward. Guilt *can*
> be paralyzing. Fortunately, I don't feel much guilt at all anymore.
>
> Jacki
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
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