Sandra Dodd

The discussion of the alleged evils of computer games reminded me of
an article in the current People magazine, about a girl who left with
someone she met on the internet and was a captive for years, was
rescued, and now is going around talking about it at schools.

Her advice is AWFUL. Terrible.

Her experiences was awful and terrible too, but rather than talking
to younger kids about what horrors can happen if they're captured and
sexually abused and exploited, she's telling them not to be on the
internet, and also telling them AWFUL things that won't help their
self esteem a bit.

In the article it says: "As she tells her audiences, 'There are lots
of predators on the Web. They are older than us. Smarter than us.
If you give them any information, they'll get you.'"

So she's telling them they're little and stupid--that they're too
young and they're lacking in intelligence.
Yet she *KNEW* the guy was a liar. He had pretended to be a girl her
age. When she found out he was really a 31 year old an (according to
the article, "She said she was mad for a few hours, then got back
online with her friend because, in her mind, "Christine was still
Christine to me."

Welll.... She also arranged for the guy to come to get her, and got
into the car and left.

So here's the list of Alicia's Tips for Online Safety (page 118,
People Magazine, April 16, 2007):

* Everyone is a stranger on the Internet. Forever.

* Never give anyone online any information about yourself.

* Profile pages contain too much information about you. If you have
one, take it down.

* Use gender-neutral screen names.

* One in five kids are approached by pedophiles while online.

* Never have a computer in a private room or bedroom.

I'm going to comment on those in later e-mails.

Sandra

jenstarc4

> So here's the list of Alicia's Tips for Online Safety (page 118,
> People Magazine, April 16, 2007):
>
> * Everyone is a stranger on the Internet. Forever.

Wow! Crazy! My daughter talks to people online all the time, some of
them by phone, and she definitely considers them friends, not
strangers. I very much don't agree with that assessment. Heck that
would make Sandra a stranger, even though I've met her IRL. I
admittedly don't know her well personally but if I saw her again, I
would say hello and be happy to see her, as well as her kids.

>
> * Never give anyone online any information about yourself.
>
> * Profile pages contain too much information about you. If you
have
> one, take it down.

What I see, is that most kids are really careful about giving out
personal info. Even to the people they consider friends. There is a
group of people that my dd regularly chats with, some she likes way
better than others. For a long time she gaurded her real name, then
she held a bet sort of to see who could pronounce it right first.
It's Chamille but pronounced with a K sound. I think that everyone
knows everyone's real name now. All of these kids are on the up and
up, most of them chat without their parent's knowledge or permission,
yet there they are. I've seen a lot of them through web cams and
heard their pubescent voices. I've answered the phone on a number of
occasions.
>
> * Use gender-neutral screen names.

See, now most of these kids my dd talks to use anime names or just
weird names. However, you can generally tell what gender these kids
are by the things they say and the way they talk, or what anime
person they name themselves after.

>
> * One in five kids are approached by pedophiles while online.

There has been on occasion some weirdo online, but Chamille weeds
them out. They don't get much say in the conversation, because these
kids are smart enough to tell, who is who, by computer ID's and how
they say things.

>
> * Never have a computer in a private room or bedroom.

We have laptops and wifi. My kids are welcome to use the computer
anywhere they want to. My oldest just turned 13 and as a present, we
redid her room. It was a nice coming of age sort of present, take
all the little kid stuff and give her some style. She loves her room
so much, we hardly see her anymore! She used to sit out in the
living room and chat and stuff. She has nothing to hide. She shows
me stuff and occasionally asks me to join her chat room. I know all
the kids that she talks to, by their made up names and real names.
Some of their numbers are programmed into my cell phone.

Just last night, my dd decided that she was bored chatting with her
online friends and requested time with me, just to chat and hang out
one on one. We talked for hours and hours until I had to kick her
out because I was falling asleep and I wanted to turn off the lights
and go to bed. It's possible that she went back to her room and
chatted online more. I don't know. I completely trust her. I'm not
afraid of the internet boogie man.

She likes being at home so much that she usually wants her friends to
come over to our house, instead of the other way around. Quite
honestly, most of her friends prefer that too. I seriously don't see
her wanting to go out and meet some 30 yr old man somewhere, just
because she met him online and he wanted to meet her. She knows
plenty of 30 yr old men IRL to know that they're ok, but kids are
more fun to hang with. The neighbor girl is much more at risk for
that because she hates her home, isn't allowed internet access, and
comes over here to use the internet and talk to people that her
parents know nothing about. When I am uncomfortable with someone she
is talking to, I tell her and so does my daughter.

Right now the neighbor is grounded from my daughter, so who knows
what she's doing lately. Our house is her safe house, and when it's
off limits, I have no idea what she does. But that's a whole other
story...