Deborah Donndelinger

Hi Sandra,

Thanks for your critical comments on my post. I appreciate your always
keeping your eye on what's best for the children. That's why I'm on
your lists.

"Go easy on how you explain things that are feel-good ideas but not so
absolute."

Absolutely -- actually as I wrote it I realized that my modeling and
living it are the only real ways to explain it. And it's tricky -- just
as what we teach spiritually and religiously can be challenging (i.e. if
God is in everything, why did he make our dog blind?)

""Any life they choose" isn't a promise anyone can make to anyone.
Honesty and living in the moment are way better than new-age fantasy
future scenarios."

Actually for me this is honesty and living in the moment. Don't worry,
I'm extremely practical and grounded -- sorry that my words didn't
convey that. I am not at all into fantasy.

"This leaves the problem of other children allegedly having chosen
abusive and sexual molesting parents.
It's not really a sound principle."

This is where we disagree but this isn't the place to discuss this.
Just to be clear, I lived a very traumatic childhood including sexual
abuse_ so for me,_ I do know what I am talking about. And I also
understand how what I wrote could be painful to others. Sorry.


"If someone comes over and beats your child up, will you calmly accept
that with love on the grounds that your son attracted that energy?"

Of course not - that's ridiculous -- that would be denying my energy. I
am the most protective mother you can meet ... I will fight anyone who
tries to mess with my children and because of that I sometimes see
threat where there is none.

What I was saying is that I can now value and respect my husband's
intuition - just as mine is valid, so is his. Sorry for mixing it up
with "new-age" language ... I can see if you thought I was a bimbo who
blindly followed others' leads why you would be concerned. Not to worry ...

"Sorry to rain on your rainbow parade, but I'd really prefer for this
list (my list) to stick with what's immediately useful and positive
to anyone, and not venture into juju-magic that blames victims."

Hey, I like rain -- but seriously I understand you'd like me to be more
practical and concrete with my posts. And for the record, I do believe
in magic. However "blame the victim" is not in my vocabulary.

Respectfully,
Deborah, j.m.