Respect was Loving Children
Tara Maldonado Oster
First of all, hello everyone. Peggy introduced me to this list. My
name's Tara and it's a pleasure to meet you all. After reading just a
day worth of posts, I think I've met some kindred spirits.
This morning I wanted to take Isaiah (4 d.s.) to the planetarium. He
kept telling me he wanted to go to the Children's Museum. I said we'll
go to the planetarium today and the Children's Museum tomorrow, which he
was still not too happy about. My brother-in-law called and asked if he
wanted to go hiking. I said sure. Isaiah started saying, rather loudly,
"I don't want to go hiking. I want to go to the Children's Museum." I
promptly told BIL I'd call him back. I told Isaiah we'd go to the
planetarium and then hiking and TOMORROW we'd go to the Children's
Museum. (The reason I'm so insistent on going today is that they have a
program geared just toward his age group today.) He looked at me and
said, "Mom, you are not respecting my wishes. I want to go to the
Children's Museum." I was getting a bit upset, so I gave myself a quiet
time-out in the bathroom. I was looking in the mirror when I thought,
"He's right. I'm not respecting his wishes. I'm pushing this planetarium
thing on him, because I want him to see it, when all he really wants is
to go to the Children's Museum. If I take him to the museum today,
there's many other Saturdays I can take him to the planetarium. It's
much more important to tell him and show him that I *do* respect his
wishes than to expose him to the planetarium." So, I came out of the
bathroom and told him that he was right, I wasn't respecting him. He
looked me square in the eyes, smiled and said, "Thanks, Mom."
I think the best thing I've taught Isaiah is to speak his truth.
Sometimes that can seem disrespectful. That's only because I was taught
to mind my elders and not talk back. I've also spent 30 years not living
for myself, but doing what everyone else wanted. I don't want that for
Isaiah.
Sometimes it takes a time-out to make you come to your senses. I'd
rather take one than hurt his feelings.
After all, he's just like a tiny shoot coming out of the ground in
Spring, aiming his tiny leaves at the sun. Those tiny shoots are so
fragile. You tend them with love and kindness, and they grow to be
beautiful flowers to bring beauty and hearty plants that bring
nourishment.
Glad to be here.
Namaste,
Tara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
name's Tara and it's a pleasure to meet you all. After reading just a
day worth of posts, I think I've met some kindred spirits.
This morning I wanted to take Isaiah (4 d.s.) to the planetarium. He
kept telling me he wanted to go to the Children's Museum. I said we'll
go to the planetarium today and the Children's Museum tomorrow, which he
was still not too happy about. My brother-in-law called and asked if he
wanted to go hiking. I said sure. Isaiah started saying, rather loudly,
"I don't want to go hiking. I want to go to the Children's Museum." I
promptly told BIL I'd call him back. I told Isaiah we'd go to the
planetarium and then hiking and TOMORROW we'd go to the Children's
Museum. (The reason I'm so insistent on going today is that they have a
program geared just toward his age group today.) He looked at me and
said, "Mom, you are not respecting my wishes. I want to go to the
Children's Museum." I was getting a bit upset, so I gave myself a quiet
time-out in the bathroom. I was looking in the mirror when I thought,
"He's right. I'm not respecting his wishes. I'm pushing this planetarium
thing on him, because I want him to see it, when all he really wants is
to go to the Children's Museum. If I take him to the museum today,
there's many other Saturdays I can take him to the planetarium. It's
much more important to tell him and show him that I *do* respect his
wishes than to expose him to the planetarium." So, I came out of the
bathroom and told him that he was right, I wasn't respecting him. He
looked me square in the eyes, smiled and said, "Thanks, Mom."
I think the best thing I've taught Isaiah is to speak his truth.
Sometimes that can seem disrespectful. That's only because I was taught
to mind my elders and not talk back. I've also spent 30 years not living
for myself, but doing what everyone else wanted. I don't want that for
Isaiah.
Sometimes it takes a time-out to make you come to your senses. I'd
rather take one than hurt his feelings.
After all, he's just like a tiny shoot coming out of the ground in
Spring, aiming his tiny leaves at the sun. Those tiny shoots are so
fragile. You tend them with love and kindness, and they grow to be
beautiful flowers to bring beauty and hearty plants that bring
nourishment.
Glad to be here.
Namaste,
Tara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Peggy
Tara Maldonado Oster wrote:
is hard to believe he is only four. I like your idea of a time out to
think things through rather than reacting impulsively.
the inner self and a time for working through and learning how to think
about what others are feeling and thinking. I think a too early emphasis
for toddlers and preschoolers on the outer view can be very harmful.
site too and check out the Quilt 4 Afghanistan site? Don't for get to
click on the Additional Prizes button and check out the beautiful pillow
and tapestry. And, for anyone who wants to buy a raffle ticket, I
believe they are now taking PayPal payments too.
Welcome!
Peggy
>It is an interesting and thought provoking list. Welcome Tara!
> First of all, hello everyone. Peggy introduced me to this list. My
> name's Tara and it's a pleasure to meet you all. After reading just a
> day worth of posts, I think I've met some kindred spirits.
>He really is incredible. His eyes are so deep and thoughtful, it really
> This morning I wanted to take Isaiah (4 d.s.) to the planetarium. He
> kept telling me he wanted to go to the Children's Museum. I said we'll
> go to the planetarium today and the Children's Museum tomorrow, which he
> was still not too happy about. My brother-in-law called and asked if he
> wanted to go hiking. I said sure. Isaiah started saying, rather loudly,
> "I don't want to go hiking. I want to go to the Children's Museum." I
> promptly told BIL I'd call him back. I told Isaiah we'd go to the
> planetarium and then hiking and TOMORROW we'd go to the Children's
> Museum. (The reason I'm so insistent on going today is that they have a
> program geared just toward his age group today.) He looked at me and
> said, "Mom, you are not respecting my wishes. I want to go to the
> Children's Museum." I was getting a bit upset, so I gave myself a quiet
> time-out in the bathroom. I was looking in the mirror when I thought,
> "He's right. I'm not respecting his wishes. I'm pushing this planetarium
> thing on him, because I want him to see it, when all he really wants is
> to go to the Children's Museum. If I take him to the museum today,
> there's many other Saturdays I can take him to the planetarium. It's
> much more important to tell him and show him that I *do* respect his
> wishes than to expose him to the planetarium." So, I came out of the
> bathroom and told him that he was right, I wasn't respecting him. He
> looked me square in the eyes, smiled and said, "Thanks, Mom."
is hard to believe he is only four. I like your idea of a time out to
think things through rather than reacting impulsively.
>Absolutely. And there is a time for learning and coming to terms with
> I think the best thing I've taught Isaiah is to speak his truth.
> Sometimes that can seem disrespectful. That's only because I was taught
> to mind my elders and not talk back. I've also spent 30 years not living
> for myself, but doing what everyone else wanted. I don't want that for
> Isaiah.
the inner self and a time for working through and learning how to think
about what others are feeling and thinking. I think a too early emphasis
for toddlers and preschoolers on the outer view can be very harmful.
>What a beautiful way to express this growth. Yes!
> Sometimes it takes a time-out to make you come to your senses. I'd
> rather take one than hurt his feelings.
>
> After all, he's just like a tiny shoot coming out of the ground in
> Spring, aiming his tiny leaves at the sun. Those tiny shoots are so
> fragile. You tend them with love and kindness, and they grow to be
> beautiful flowers to bring beauty and hearty plants that bring
> nourishment.
>Glad you checked it out. Did you peek over at the Canadian Homeschool
> Glad to be here.
>
> Namaste,
> Tara
site too and check out the Quilt 4 Afghanistan site? Don't for get to
click on the Additional Prizes button and check out the beautiful pillow
and tapestry. And, for anyone who wants to buy a raffle ticket, I
believe they are now taking PayPal payments too.
Welcome!
Peggy
Sharon Rudd
> After all, he's just like a tiny shoot coming out ofI'm glad you're here, too
> the ground in
> Spring, aiming his tiny leaves at the sun. Those
> tiny shoots are so
> fragile. You tend them with love and kindness, and
> they grow to be
> beautiful flowers to bring beauty and hearty plants
> that bring
> nourishment.
>
> Glad to be here.
>
> Namaste,
> Tara
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Send FREE video emails in Yahoo! Mail!
http://promo.yahoo.com/videomail/