Julie Stauffer

<<In unschooling, how does one handle character issues?>>

I try to handle these situations with my kids the same way I would with an
adult, meaning whether or not I would say something to my dh about a
behavior tries to be my deciding line. Sometimes I'm really good at it.
Yesterday, I sucked :(

But I wouldn't let my dh say things that were mean to me, I wouldn't let it
just ride. Even if he were having a bad day, I would say something like, "I
know today isn't going the way you wanted, but it isn't my fault and the
things you are saying hurt my feelings." I say the same kinds of things to
my kids. A couple of days ago, Adriane (11) was really being snotty and
short tempered and I said something like the above to her. In a little
while, she came to me and apologized, talked to me about what was stressing
her and we worked to fix the problem.

I talked with my 3yo today about how it hurts people's feelings when they
are called stupid. I didn't punish him or yell at him, but I talked with
him about it. I don't think unschooling is about saying that mean behavior
or whatever is ok for children. Only that because the kids are learning,
they are going to make mistakes (just like adults) and we need to know that
and expect it and not shame them because of it.

Question--why is it "indignation" in an adult and a "tantrum" in a kid?

Julie--who had a tantrum yesterday that would have made any 2yo proud :(

Nancy Wooton

on 1/17/02 10:11 AM, Julie Stauffer at jnjstau@... wrote:

> I don't think unschooling is about saying that mean behavior
> or whatever is ok for children.

I remember someone writing "Unschooling does not mean unparenting." I liked
that.

Nancy