Cosleeping; Response to naysayers? Advice Please!
Heather
Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
(yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!
before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
(yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!
Sandra Dodd
-=-As you can imagine,
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot.-=-
I would get a copy of The Family Bed or some other better book if
there is one by now, and give it to her. Tell her nicely that after
she's read that, you'll be willing to discuss it if she still wants
to. Smile.
Don't back down.
It's not your mother. Why isn't your husband dealing with her?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot.-=-
I would get a copy of The Family Bed or some other better book if
there is one by now, and give it to her. Tell her nicely that after
she's read that, you'll be willing to discuss it if she still wants
to. Smile.
Don't back down.
It's not your mother. Why isn't your husband dealing with her?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tiffany
We Cosleep as well my kids our 9yr dd & 3yrs son although my
daughter has her own room she rather be with us and its fine she is
growing up so fast i'll enjoy it while it lasts. My 3yr old stop
nurising about 6mm ago and I miss it. But sorry for the rant. My 9yr
is very independent and happy she feels safe in our bed we respect
that right now this is what she needs and when shes ready she'll go
to her own bed. Nursing my kids created an amazing bond with them &
sometimes people who haven't experienced that don't understand. You
don't have to justify to anyone why you do or don't do things if you
know what works for your family thats what counts. I stop trying to
explain to naysayers our relationship with our kids speaks volumes
and it shows as they get older.
So not sure if this helped but I really know how fustrating and how
people close to you can make you second guess your choices what has
helped me is focusing on what makes my kids happy because in the end
thats what matters to me.
--- In [email protected], "Heather" <johevili72@...>
wrote:
daughter has her own room she rather be with us and its fine she is
growing up so fast i'll enjoy it while it lasts. My 3yr old stop
nurising about 6mm ago and I miss it. But sorry for the rant. My 9yr
is very independent and happy she feels safe in our bed we respect
that right now this is what she needs and when shes ready she'll go
to her own bed. Nursing my kids created an amazing bond with them &
sometimes people who haven't experienced that don't understand. You
don't have to justify to anyone why you do or don't do things if you
know what works for your family thats what counts. I stop trying to
explain to naysayers our relationship with our kids speaks volumes
and it shows as they get older.
So not sure if this helped but I really know how fustrating and how
people close to you can make you second guess your choices what has
helped me is focusing on what makes my kids happy because in the end
thats what matters to me.
--- In [email protected], "Heather" <johevili72@...>
wrote:
>on
> Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
> before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
> sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
> and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses
> and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as Ihave
> weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this8yrs.
> morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
> problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
> she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
> talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
> I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
> for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
> their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
> don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
> something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
> than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
> reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
> yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
> kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
> what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
> she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
> issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
> cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
> sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
> being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
> me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
> marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like
> (yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!
>
Schuyler
I would put together a bunch of resources on cosleeping. James McKenna, who
has been working on cosleeping from before I heard him speak at the American
Anthropological Association meeting 12 years ago, has a nice site reviewing
the long term benefits of co-sleeping:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html . There is a lot of stuff
there that directly address the problems your MIL seems to be predicting are
more likely to occur in a cosleeping household. In an exerpt from Our Babies
Our Selves (which is a wonderful bok that covers cosleeping and
breastfeeding from an evolutionary anthropology perspective) by Meredith
Small (that's here:
http://www.labouroflove.org/babies/co%11sleeping/co%11sleeping-around-the-world-%11-a-cultural-perspective/)
she has this wonderful quote: "Seventy-five-year-old Verna Mae Sloane
writes of motherhood in Appalachia: "How can you expect to hold on to them
in life if you begin by pushing them away?""
You've posted before about your MIL's critical stance on your parenting
choices. I don't know if putting together a bunch of resources demonstrating
that your choices aren't made in a vacuum, in the absence of research and
careful thought, will be enough to sway her to believe that you are wise
enough to make your own decisions. For whatever reason in your life and your
relationship with your mother-in-law she has decided, it seems to me, that
you aren't quite capable enough to operate without her advice or lead. And
maybe before you can expect her to respect you that is something you need to
address.
On the one hand is your mother-in-law, who is an important person to you, as
you've stated, and on the other hand are your children. They shouldn't lose
out on because you are afraid of this woman's opinion. And whatever you do,
you need to keep them present in your mind in the face of whatever onslaught
yur MIL produces. Really.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
has been working on cosleeping from before I heard him speak at the American
Anthropological Association meeting 12 years ago, has a nice site reviewing
the long term benefits of co-sleeping:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html . There is a lot of stuff
there that directly address the problems your MIL seems to be predicting are
more likely to occur in a cosleeping household. In an exerpt from Our Babies
Our Selves (which is a wonderful bok that covers cosleeping and
breastfeeding from an evolutionary anthropology perspective) by Meredith
Small (that's here:
http://www.labouroflove.org/babies/co%11sleeping/co%11sleeping-around-the-world-%11-a-cultural-perspective/)
she has this wonderful quote: "Seventy-five-year-old Verna Mae Sloane
writes of motherhood in Appalachia: "How can you expect to hold on to them
in life if you begin by pushing them away?""
You've posted before about your MIL's critical stance on your parenting
choices. I don't know if putting together a bunch of resources demonstrating
that your choices aren't made in a vacuum, in the absence of research and
careful thought, will be enough to sway her to believe that you are wise
enough to make your own decisions. For whatever reason in your life and your
relationship with your mother-in-law she has decided, it seems to me, that
you aren't quite capable enough to operate without her advice or lead. And
maybe before you can expect her to respect you that is something you need to
address.
On the one hand is your mother-in-law, who is an important person to you, as
you've stated, and on the other hand are your children. They shouldn't lose
out on because you are afraid of this woman's opinion. And whatever you do,
you need to keep them present in your mind in the face of whatever onslaught
yur MIL produces. Really.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
> Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
> before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
> sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
> and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
> and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
> weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
> morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
> problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
> she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
> talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
> I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
> for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
> their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
> don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
> something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
> than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
> reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
> yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
> kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
> what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
> she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
> issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
> cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
> sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
> being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
> me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
> marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
> (yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
meredith nichols
I co-slept with my now 6 y.o. son until he was 4 and
now he comes in when he wants or he sleeps with my mom
(who shares a home with us). My mother in law was
surprised to hear about our choice, but it was just
that...our choice. She compared us to people of 3rd
world countries who didn't have space or $$ for more
bedrooms. Then she said that there was a lot of incest
in those countries...this is where I went OFF! I asked
her if she was accusing me and she took back her
statement. Also, my step-son moved in at age 13 and we
gave him his own bed in our bedroom. It gave us a
chance to bond as a family of 4. Both boys are very
well adjusted, confident men-in-training.
My mother-in-law also brought up the marital relations
thing. I told her that we were much more creative than
just needing our bedroom for that...and she quieted
down. hee hee
I also believe that when people question your
choices...you should take it as a chance to reaffirm
your family values, not a time to second-guess
yourself.
Meredith
____________________________________________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
http://new.mail.yahoo.com
now he comes in when he wants or he sleeps with my mom
(who shares a home with us). My mother in law was
surprised to hear about our choice, but it was just
that...our choice. She compared us to people of 3rd
world countries who didn't have space or $$ for more
bedrooms. Then she said that there was a lot of incest
in those countries...this is where I went OFF! I asked
her if she was accusing me and she took back her
statement. Also, my step-son moved in at age 13 and we
gave him his own bed in our bedroom. It gave us a
chance to bond as a family of 4. Both boys are very
well adjusted, confident men-in-training.
My mother-in-law also brought up the marital relations
thing. I told her that we were much more creative than
just needing our bedroom for that...and she quieted
down. hee hee
I also believe that when people question your
choices...you should take it as a chance to reaffirm
your family values, not a time to second-guess
yourself.
Meredith
____________________________________________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
http://new.mail.yahoo.com
Schuyler
Actually, I went back through my google search with McKenna's name and
cosleeping and found this page:
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html which is a pretty good
list of essays.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
cosleeping and found this page:
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html which is a pretty good
list of essays.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Schuyler" <s.waynforth@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 8:36 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Cosleeping; Response to naysayers? Advice
Please!
>I would put together a bunch of resources on cosleeping. James McKenna, who
> has been working on cosleeping from before I heard him speak at the
> American
> Anthropological Association meeting 12 years ago, has a nice site
> reviewing
> the long term benefits of co-sleeping:
> http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html . There is a lot of stuff
> there that directly address the problems your MIL seems to be predicting
> are
> more likely to occur in a cosleeping household. In an exerpt from Our
> Babies
> Our Selves (which is a wonderful bok that covers cosleeping and
> breastfeeding from an evolutionary anthropology perspective) by Meredith
> Small (that's here:
> http://www.labouroflove.org/babies/co%11sleeping/co%11sleeping-around-the-world-%11-a-cultural-perspective/)
> she has this wonderful quote: "Seventy-five-year-old Verna Mae Sloane
> writes of motherhood in Appalachia: "How can you expect to hold on to them
> in life if you begin by pushing them away?""
>
> You've posted before about your MIL's critical stance on your parenting
> choices. I don't know if putting together a bunch of resources
> demonstrating
> that your choices aren't made in a vacuum, in the absence of research and
> careful thought, will be enough to sway her to believe that you are wise
> enough to make your own decisions. For whatever reason in your life and
> your
> relationship with your mother-in-law she has decided, it seems to me, that
> you aren't quite capable enough to operate without her advice or lead. And
> maybe before you can expect her to respect you that is something you need
> to
> address.
>
> On the one hand is your mother-in-law, who is an important person to you,
> as
> you've stated, and on the other hand are your children. They shouldn't
> lose
> out on because you are afraid of this woman's opinion. And whatever you
> do,
> you need to keep them present in your mind in the face of whatever
> onslaught
> yur MIL produces. Really.
>
> Schuyler
> www.waynforth.blogspot.com
>
>
>
>> Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
>> before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
>> sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
>> and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
>> and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
>> weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
>> morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
>> problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
>> she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
>> talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
>> I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
>> for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
>> their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
>> don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
>> something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
>> than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
>> reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
>> yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
>> kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
>> what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
>> she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
>> issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
>> cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
>> sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
>> being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
>> me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
>> marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
>> (yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Yahoo! Groups Links
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
Heather
Thanks again everyone for your words of advice. I do tend to let her
comments effect me more than I should. I don't know if it is her
lack of belief in my abilitys or if it has more to do with her need
to 'control'. I guess both my husband and his brother (the only kids
from the family) both agree that she really likes to be in control
of all things as much as she can or is allowed that position. They
are both good, after more than 30yrs practice, of just ignoring her
ideas when they don't want to practice what she preaches and that is
a good deal of the time. I guess I just need to take their lead and
let it roll off... I will work on it. I am not going to change my
sleeping arraigements. I will read the links ya'll told me about on
co-sleeping and send them to her. If she won't read them, I guess
that will tell me a lot.
--- In [email protected], meredith nichols <discnc@...>
wrote:
_______________
comments effect me more than I should. I don't know if it is her
lack of belief in my abilitys or if it has more to do with her need
to 'control'. I guess both my husband and his brother (the only kids
from the family) both agree that she really likes to be in control
of all things as much as she can or is allowed that position. They
are both good, after more than 30yrs practice, of just ignoring her
ideas when they don't want to practice what she preaches and that is
a good deal of the time. I guess I just need to take their lead and
let it roll off... I will work on it. I am not going to change my
sleeping arraigements. I will read the links ya'll told me about on
co-sleeping and send them to her. If she won't read them, I guess
that will tell me a lot.
--- In [email protected], meredith nichols <discnc@...>
wrote:
>_____________________________________________________________________
> I co-slept with my now 6 y.o. son until he was 4 and
> now he comes in when he wants or he sleeps with my mom
> (who shares a home with us). My mother in law was
> surprised to hear about our choice, but it was just
> that...our choice. She compared us to people of 3rd
> world countries who didn't have space or $$ for more
> bedrooms. Then she said that there was a lot of incest
> in those countries...this is where I went OFF! I asked
> her if she was accusing me and she took back her
> statement. Also, my step-son moved in at age 13 and we
> gave him his own bed in our bedroom. It gave us a
> chance to bond as a family of 4. Both boys are very
> well adjusted, confident men-in-training.
>
> My mother-in-law also brought up the marital relations
> thing. I told her that we were much more creative than
> just needing our bedroom for that...and she quieted
> down. hee hee
>
> I also believe that when people question your
> choices...you should take it as a chance to reaffirm
> your family values, not a time to second-guess
> yourself.
>
> Meredith
>
>
>
>
>
_______________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
> http://new.mail.yahoo.com
>
ewgott
Just chiming in with my 2 cents. We let the kids sleep with us early
on, but then basically forced them into their own beds. We weren't
very enlightened back then *sheepish grin*. However, I am now
divorced (8 yrs) with two teens (dd15, ds17) who live primarily with
their dad. My daughter sleeps with me instead of in her own room, and
I joyfully allow it. I rub her back until we are both asleep, and
while I do enjoy sprawling out all over my queen bed, I love that she
wants to be this close to me right now.
We are just beginning the unschooling experience, and are fighting
her dad all the way. Even if he were to agree to 'homeschooling' he
wants to bring school to home and make her conform. Sheesh! Not gonna
happen, lol. BTW, my ds17 is still in ps, graduating in May. He's not
interested in leaving, so I'm not arguing the point. He wants to get
into college to study computer science next fall. He's decided he's
going to have to pay for his own college, because his father makes
too much money (and is fussing about it all, but that is another
story for another time, eh?).
I've been lurking for a while, but decided to come out of the
woodwork to join the group. Thanks for having me!
Erica
on, but then basically forced them into their own beds. We weren't
very enlightened back then *sheepish grin*. However, I am now
divorced (8 yrs) with two teens (dd15, ds17) who live primarily with
their dad. My daughter sleeps with me instead of in her own room, and
I joyfully allow it. I rub her back until we are both asleep, and
while I do enjoy sprawling out all over my queen bed, I love that she
wants to be this close to me right now.
We are just beginning the unschooling experience, and are fighting
her dad all the way. Even if he were to agree to 'homeschooling' he
wants to bring school to home and make her conform. Sheesh! Not gonna
happen, lol. BTW, my ds17 is still in ps, graduating in May. He's not
interested in leaving, so I'm not arguing the point. He wants to get
into college to study computer science next fall. He's decided he's
going to have to pay for his own college, because his father makes
too much money (and is fussing about it all, but that is another
story for another time, eh?).
I've been lurking for a while, but decided to come out of the
woodwork to join the group. Thanks for having me!
Erica
Heather Cuoio
Hello again all,
I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support and to tell you I wrote my MIL an e-mail telling her that, while I appriciate her concern and realize that she likely just voiced it because she wants what is best for us and our kids, that we are going to continue to co-sleep as long as it is working for us and that right now, it's working. I also sent her some of the great Links I got from you all! I don't know how she'll 'take it' but I have decided that it's time to grow a backbone and call her on what feel like 'potshots' to my parenting style and choices. As many of you have said, these are my kids and I need to raise them in the way's I believe, that she has 'had her chance' with raising kids. I am very happy to have found this group so it can help soothe my fears when I hear such things and get a bit 'uneasy'. Have a lovely day everyone!
Smiles,
Heather
---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support and to tell you I wrote my MIL an e-mail telling her that, while I appriciate her concern and realize that she likely just voiced it because she wants what is best for us and our kids, that we are going to continue to co-sleep as long as it is working for us and that right now, it's working. I also sent her some of the great Links I got from you all! I don't know how she'll 'take it' but I have decided that it's time to grow a backbone and call her on what feel like 'potshots' to my parenting style and choices. As many of you have said, these are my kids and I need to raise them in the way's I believe, that she has 'had her chance' with raising kids. I am very happy to have found this group so it can help soothe my fears when I hear such things and get a bit 'uneasy'. Have a lovely day everyone!
Smiles,
Heather
---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
Heather Cuoio wrote:
Don't forget my all-time favorite LLL saying: Your concern is
appreciated, your approval is unnecessary. ::bg::
~diana :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Hello again all,-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
> I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support and to
> tell you I wrote my MIL an e-mail telling her that, while I appriciate
> her concern and realize that she likely just voiced it because she
> wants what is best for us and our kids, that we are going to continue
> to co-sleep as long as it is working for us and that right now, it's
> working.
>
Don't forget my all-time favorite LLL saying: Your concern is
appreciated, your approval is unnecessary. ::bg::
~diana :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heather Cuoio
-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=- =-=-=-
Don't forget my all-time favorite LLL saying: Your concern is
appreciated, your approval is unnecessary. ::bg::
~diana :)
========================
Diana,
Thanks! I'd not heard that one before and it's perfectly put! I think I'll write it out and post it on my 'fridge! ;)
B/t/w I got an e-mail back from my MIL and she said "I Give!" and went on to say that she knows that Josh and I are terrific parents (among other things) and signed it "Reformed Meddling MIL". So she took it pretty well and I don't think I did any 'damage' by asserting my opinion. Which is good, 'cause I know my kids need their Grandma and I don't want to make bad blood. However, I am not going to continue to allow her to make me feel bad about my parenting decisions! Thanks to so many of you for showing me how I was being a bit 'weak' in this area. I am working on correction and growth in that area! (I think more and more lately that people [who aren't in school itself] are all Unschoolers, just in different 'stages'! LOL! If that makes sense... Lord knows I've been Unschooling myself on the subject of Homeschool/Unschooling lately, can't seem to read enough on it! ha!)
Have a lovely day!
Heather
---------------------------------
Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Don't forget my all-time favorite LLL saying: Your concern is
appreciated, your approval is unnecessary. ::bg::
~diana :)
========================
Diana,
Thanks! I'd not heard that one before and it's perfectly put! I think I'll write it out and post it on my 'fridge! ;)
B/t/w I got an e-mail back from my MIL and she said "I Give!" and went on to say that she knows that Josh and I are terrific parents (among other things) and signed it "Reformed Meddling MIL". So she took it pretty well and I don't think I did any 'damage' by asserting my opinion. Which is good, 'cause I know my kids need their Grandma and I don't want to make bad blood. However, I am not going to continue to allow her to make me feel bad about my parenting decisions! Thanks to so many of you for showing me how I was being a bit 'weak' in this area. I am working on correction and growth in that area! (I think more and more lately that people [who aren't in school itself] are all Unschoolers, just in different 'stages'! LOL! If that makes sense... Lord knows I've been Unschooling myself on the subject of Homeschool/Unschooling lately, can't seem to read enough on it! ha!)
Have a lovely day!
Heather
---------------------------------
Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-So she took it pretty well and I don't think I did any 'damage' by
asserting my opinion. -=-
Cool!!
And that will make it easier next time.
With my mother in law, it was our decision not to circumcise Kirby.
She had been nurse, and said "You have to get him circumcized," after
I offered to let her change and dress him, which I thought would be a
nice thing for her, as a grandma, to get to deal with him that way
when he was just a few days old.
I said we had read a lot before making the decision, and I could let
her read what we had read. She said "Well I'll read it, but it won't
change my mind." She took the stuff (four books with sticky-notes
on the right pages, I think) and when she brought them back the next
day she set them gently on a table and said "Things have changed a
lot since I was in nursing school."
When we didn't send Kirby to school, she balked and I said "I could
give you some of the books we read..." and she said "That's okay."
So she knew by the first simpler situation that I really HAD done
research, and after a while all I had to do was threaten to make her
read. <g>
Eventually, gradually, they came to really appreciate the way we are
and the way the kids are.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
asserting my opinion. -=-
Cool!!
And that will make it easier next time.
With my mother in law, it was our decision not to circumcise Kirby.
She had been nurse, and said "You have to get him circumcized," after
I offered to let her change and dress him, which I thought would be a
nice thing for her, as a grandma, to get to deal with him that way
when he was just a few days old.
I said we had read a lot before making the decision, and I could let
her read what we had read. She said "Well I'll read it, but it won't
change my mind." She took the stuff (four books with sticky-notes
on the right pages, I think) and when she brought them back the next
day she set them gently on a table and said "Things have changed a
lot since I was in nursing school."
When we didn't send Kirby to school, she balked and I said "I could
give you some of the books we read..." and she said "That's okay."
So she knew by the first simpler situation that I really HAD done
research, and after a while all I had to do was threaten to make her
read. <g>
Eventually, gradually, they came to really appreciate the way we are
and the way the kids are.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]