speech
Laura
my 5 year old has been difficult to understand for a long time. for
along time he didnt seem to care and since we mostly understood him
we didnt worry about it. his speech has become clearer, however, he
still has difficulty making himself understood with his peers. he is
very social and lately has been showing a desire to make friends
rather than just play with whoever is around (he does that to). a
few months ago i had him tested for speech and he went along with
the whole thing and started going once a week. i think it has
helped some and at first he didnt mind. for the last two weeks
though he has been kind of complaining. truthfully it started after
i had a discussion with him about letting me know if some of his
activities were not to his liking. he used to go to this playgroup
with his brother where the mothers would take turns hosting it and
the other mothers could leave. some of the mothers structure things
alot and Nathaniel wasnt really happy about it and never said
anything but i saw more issues with his behavior and when we talked
about it he let me know. He doenst go to that anymore but his
brother still likes it. Anyway, back to speech, so since i told him
to let me know cause he doesnt have to do these things he told me he
doesnt like to go to speech. but he went. THis past week I asked
him what he didnt like and he said the teacher (speech path) wouldnt
let him play a game till the end but he thought he should get to
play one in the beginning. so i suggested he tell her that and see
what happens. he went off happily and came back saying he had more
fun. i dont know if he told her or not but he was happier. Anyway,
i am not sure how i should proceed with this. I cant just let him
descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. I
feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
money to have no shows.
along time he didnt seem to care and since we mostly understood him
we didnt worry about it. his speech has become clearer, however, he
still has difficulty making himself understood with his peers. he is
very social and lately has been showing a desire to make friends
rather than just play with whoever is around (he does that to). a
few months ago i had him tested for speech and he went along with
the whole thing and started going once a week. i think it has
helped some and at first he didnt mind. for the last two weeks
though he has been kind of complaining. truthfully it started after
i had a discussion with him about letting me know if some of his
activities were not to his liking. he used to go to this playgroup
with his brother where the mothers would take turns hosting it and
the other mothers could leave. some of the mothers structure things
alot and Nathaniel wasnt really happy about it and never said
anything but i saw more issues with his behavior and when we talked
about it he let me know. He doenst go to that anymore but his
brother still likes it. Anyway, back to speech, so since i told him
to let me know cause he doesnt have to do these things he told me he
doesnt like to go to speech. but he went. THis past week I asked
him what he didnt like and he said the teacher (speech path) wouldnt
let him play a game till the end but he thought he should get to
play one in the beginning. so i suggested he tell her that and see
what happens. he went off happily and came back saying he had more
fun. i dont know if he told her or not but he was happier. Anyway,
i am not sure how i should proceed with this. I cant just let him
descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. I
feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
money to have no shows.
Sandra Dodd
-=-I cant just let him
descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. I
feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
money to have no shows.
-=-
If you're more concerned about her than about him, I'd say wait a
year or two. But I'd say that anyway.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. I
feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
money to have no shows.
-=-
If you're more concerned about her than about him, I'd say wait a
year or two. But I'd say that anyway.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gold Standard
>>Anyway,Not sure I have any advice, but I do have a related story.
>>i am not sure how i should proceed with this.<<
I have a 12 yo whose speech was very difficult to understand for years as
well. It was fairly understandable by age 5, but not for everyone, and there
were definite issues with a number of sounds. I had played lots of games
over his life that incorporated speech therapy to help, but never made a big
deal about it.
When he was about 9 he said he wanted to get help with his speech. I had
talked a little about speech therapy to him before, just so he knew that it
was an option.
He went to the weekly speech sessions for about 6 months and then said he
wasn't getting anything out of it and could do the exercises at home if he
wanted (which I don't think he did unless he did them privately). He also
said he didn't get why they would do these monotonous exercises for most of
the time and the "reward" at the end was to play a game. Why couldn't they
play a game throughout? Wouldn't that make the exercises go more easily?
Those were his questions. We did some at home at his request, and his speech
did improve over this period of time because he wanted to work on it.
In any case, ds has guided his own course with his speech and does not
appear to have any esteem issues. He still has a slight speech impediment,
not much though. He has no problem telling people he has a speech problem
when they notice it. In particular, when he is playing Xbox live with people
from all over the world, I'll hear him say things like, "No I'm not from
England. I have a speech impediment". Doesn't seem to bother him or anyone
else. The just continue on matter-of-fact as far as I can tell.
Jacki
laura g
>-=-I cant just let himI am not sure how my statement would indicate that I am more concerned about
>descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him and
>not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. I
>feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
>minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
>money to have no shows.
>-=-
>
>If you're more concerned about her than about him, I'd say wait a
>year or two. But I'd say that anyway.
>
>Sandra
>
her than my son.
If my only two options were 1) send him to speech despite his reservation or
2) let him descide each week and cost her her payment.. and I chose to send
him then perhaps that would be true. However, since I have other options
then your conclusion makes no sense. What I was meaning to ask is what are
some of my other options or does anyone else have experience with this and
found something that works. Thankyou for the suggestion of waiting a few
years. I might just do that.
>_________________________________________________________________
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Live Search!
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plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Laura" <lalow@...> wrote:
one takes. If one wants commitment, one requires payment for x
number of classes/sessions. Let the therapist know that you
are "just trying it" on a week-to-week basis and its your son who is
ultimately going to make the decision.
Can you go with him and get an idea of what is actually going on? At
one poing my dd was going to a music class with a girlfriend and the
other girl's mom was taking them. When Mo started complaining about
the class I went to a couple to find out what was going on - it was
one of those situations where she would say she didn't like it
before the class but that she had fun *after*. So I went and sat in
another room so I could listen in. It was "fun" in the coaxing-
children-to-have-fun sort of way, so I was able to understand the
mixed messages I was getting. We cancelled the class.
So if you could go - I know you have another kid, but can you bring
a game or book or movie for the other kid so you can at least listen
in? That way if your son needs help communicating his needs to the
therapist you can help him out, in addition to keeping an ear open
for problems.
---Meredith (Mo 5, dss Ray 13)
>Anyway,and
> i am not sure how i should proceed with this. I cant just let him
> descide each week as this therapist gets paid when she sees him
> not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not. II used to get paid on that kind of basis, too - its one of the risks
> feel strongly about just canceling things like that at the last
> minute cause I used to work like that and it costs the therapist
> money to have no shows.
one takes. If one wants commitment, one requires payment for x
number of classes/sessions. Let the therapist know that you
are "just trying it" on a week-to-week basis and its your son who is
ultimately going to make the decision.
Can you go with him and get an idea of what is actually going on? At
one poing my dd was going to a music class with a girlfriend and the
other girl's mom was taking them. When Mo started complaining about
the class I went to a couple to find out what was going on - it was
one of those situations where she would say she didn't like it
before the class but that she had fun *after*. So I went and sat in
another room so I could listen in. It was "fun" in the coaxing-
children-to-have-fun sort of way, so I was able to understand the
mixed messages I was getting. We cancelled the class.
So if you could go - I know you have another kid, but can you bring
a game or book or movie for the other kid so you can at least listen
in? That way if your son needs help communicating his needs to the
therapist you can help him out, in addition to keeping an ear open
for problems.
---Meredith (Mo 5, dss Ray 13)
Sandra Dodd
-=-If my only two options were 1) send him to speech despite his
reservation or
2) let him descide each week and cost her her payment.. and I chose
to send
him then perhaps that would be true. However, since I have other options
then your conclusion makes no sense.-=-
Those were the only options you named.
Telling me my response makes no sense isn't the best way to get more
of it.
Yes, many people here have had children whose speech was difficult to
understand when they were young. I'm one of them.
Many people here have years of experience reading posts from moms who
reveal more than they thought they did in what they write.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
reservation or
2) let him descide each week and cost her her payment.. and I chose
to send
him then perhaps that would be true. However, since I have other options
then your conclusion makes no sense.-=-
Those were the only options you named.
Telling me my response makes no sense isn't the best way to get more
of it.
Yes, many people here have had children whose speech was difficult to
understand when they were young. I'm one of them.
Many people here have years of experience reading posts from moms who
reveal more than they thought they did in what they write.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***I am not sure how my statement would indicate that I am more concerned
about
her than my son.***
This is how: "I cant just let him descide each week as this therapist gets
paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not."
It sounds like you care more about how the therapist feels about a missed
week than you care about letting your son choose which weeks to go.
You could pay the therapist for weeks he misses. If he's missing more than
he's going then you could cancel.
Deb Lewis
about
her than my son.***
This is how: "I cant just let him descide each week as this therapist gets
paid when she sees him and
not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not."
It sounds like you care more about how the therapist feels about a missed
week than you care about letting your son choose which weeks to go.
You could pay the therapist for weeks he misses. If he's missing more than
he's going then you could cancel.
Deb Lewis
laura g
>>***I am not sure how my statement would indicate that I am more concerned">This is how: "I cant just let him descide each week as this therapist
>about
>her than my son.***
gets
>paid when she sees him andyea, i can see that..thanks for pointing that out.
>not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not."
>
>It sounds like you care more about how the therapist feels about a missed
>week than you care about letting your son choose which weeks to go."
>"You could pay the therapist for weeks he misses. If he's missing moreI actually cant pay the therapist anything (except the 5 dollar copay). The
>than
>he's going then you could cancel."
>
state is paying for it... i cant afford it. But i did like the idea of
letting her know we might miss some weeks cause it is up to my son and if
she wants to drop us she can.
Laura
>_________________________________________________________________
Get today's hot entertainment gossip
http://movies.msn.com/movies/hotgossip?icid=T002MSN03A07001
Heather
Hi. I also have a speech delayed son. He is 3 1/2 and, like you,
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy, but we can't start untill January. I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit. I
guess I am pretty laid back about most 'mothering' things... I am
new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along. (I also have a two yr old girl) I generally
just play with the kids, cook with the kids, take the kids with me
where I go, sleep (co-sleep) with the kids etc... It's driven my MIL
kind of crazy, 'cause I think she thinks I am too 'attached' to them
and honestly I think she blames this for my son's speech delay...
Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I? My point? I think, from what I've
read, that speech delay seems to be more common than I realized for
sure. I think perhaps my staying home w/ my son since birth and
knowing him so well allows him to do many things 'in his own time'
and speaking is one of them. I know what he wants 95% of the time
and so it's not been an issue. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes. I've only recently (in the past few
weeks) decided to unschool/homeschool my kids [took me a long time
to come to that decision, as you can imagine my MIL is not thrilled
or supportive] and, since I no longer have school looming on the
horizon like a dark cloud, I am not as worried about it as I was. I
know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let that
be enough for me. I don't know if any of that helped, but I am up w/
insomnia so hopefully something coherent will have come out of it.
Smiles,
Heather
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy, but we can't start untill January. I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit. I
guess I am pretty laid back about most 'mothering' things... I am
new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along. (I also have a two yr old girl) I generally
just play with the kids, cook with the kids, take the kids with me
where I go, sleep (co-sleep) with the kids etc... It's driven my MIL
kind of crazy, 'cause I think she thinks I am too 'attached' to them
and honestly I think she blames this for my son's speech delay...
Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I? My point? I think, from what I've
read, that speech delay seems to be more common than I realized for
sure. I think perhaps my staying home w/ my son since birth and
knowing him so well allows him to do many things 'in his own time'
and speaking is one of them. I know what he wants 95% of the time
and so it's not been an issue. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes. I've only recently (in the past few
weeks) decided to unschool/homeschool my kids [took me a long time
to come to that decision, as you can imagine my MIL is not thrilled
or supportive] and, since I no longer have school looming on the
horizon like a dark cloud, I am not as worried about it as I was. I
know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let that
be enough for me. I don't know if any of that helped, but I am up w/
insomnia so hopefully something coherent will have come out of it.
Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], "laura g" <lalow@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> >>***I am not sure how my statement would indicate that I am more
concerned
> >about
> >her than my son.***
>
> ">This is how: "I cant just let him descide each week as this
therapist
> gets
> >paid when she sees him and
> >not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not."
> >
> >It sounds like you care more about how the therapist feels about
a missed
> >week than you care about letting your son choose which weeks to
go."
>
> yea, i can see that..thanks for pointing that out.
>
> >"You could pay the therapist for weeks he misses. If he's
missing more
> >than
> >he's going then you could cancel."
> >
> I actually cant pay the therapist anything (except the 5 dollar
copay). The
> state is paying for it... i cant afford it. But i did like the
idea of
> letting her know we might miss some weeks cause it is up to my son
and if
> she wants to drop us she can.
>
>
> Laura
> >
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Get today's hot entertainment gossip
> http://movies.msn.com/movies/hotgossip?icid=T002MSN03A07001
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Hi. I also have a speech delayed son. He is 3 1/2 and, like you,
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... -=-
Beating yourself up mentally doesn't make you a better mom, nor make
your son's life calmer.
-=-We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy-=-
They don't make money if they don't recommend therapy.
-=-I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit.-=-
Flash cards of words? He's 3 1/2. Aren't there things all over your
house and neighborhood to talk about? Talk with him. Don't just
talk to him, have conversations. Ask him questions, but not teacher-
style questions. Play little games with him. Play with words. Use
different words for things, talk about whether something is a tree or
a bush, or a puppy or a dog, or a chair or a stool.
-=-I am new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along.-=-
With a two and three year old, what you've been practicing is
mothering infants and toddlers. Attachment parenting, maybe. That's
all great, but your kid could still go to school at five, so what
you're doing is parenting.
-=-Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I?-=-
Not really, because what you're on is the idea of confidence and
patience and accepting children's learning patterns even when they're
different. You seem to be writing about fear, guilt, and how your
mother in law feels more than about how your child feels.
You say he's learning quite a bit. Let that be your focus.
-=-. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes.-=-
You already feel strongly that you've done something wrong. Taking
him to professionals who will treat him like he's dong something
wrong isn't your only option.
People learn in their own ways and in their own time.
-=- I know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let
that
be enough for me.-=-
He won't learn in his own time if you take him to therapy. They will
TELL you what he "should" know and their timetable will have to do
with school.
Here are some things that might help you consider how to make his
life richer and more peaceful:
http://sandradodd.com/nest
When his life is richer and more peaceful, yours will be too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... -=-
Beating yourself up mentally doesn't make you a better mom, nor make
your son's life calmer.
-=-We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy-=-
They don't make money if they don't recommend therapy.
-=-I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit.-=-
Flash cards of words? He's 3 1/2. Aren't there things all over your
house and neighborhood to talk about? Talk with him. Don't just
talk to him, have conversations. Ask him questions, but not teacher-
style questions. Play little games with him. Play with words. Use
different words for things, talk about whether something is a tree or
a bush, or a puppy or a dog, or a chair or a stool.
-=-I am new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along.-=-
With a two and three year old, what you've been practicing is
mothering infants and toddlers. Attachment parenting, maybe. That's
all great, but your kid could still go to school at five, so what
you're doing is parenting.
-=-Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I?-=-
Not really, because what you're on is the idea of confidence and
patience and accepting children's learning patterns even when they're
different. You seem to be writing about fear, guilt, and how your
mother in law feels more than about how your child feels.
You say he's learning quite a bit. Let that be your focus.
-=-. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes.-=-
You already feel strongly that you've done something wrong. Taking
him to professionals who will treat him like he's dong something
wrong isn't your only option.
People learn in their own ways and in their own time.
-=- I know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let
that
be enough for me.-=-
He won't learn in his own time if you take him to therapy. They will
TELL you what he "should" know and their timetable will have to do
with school.
Here are some things that might help you consider how to make his
life richer and more peaceful:
http://sandradodd.com/nest
When his life is richer and more peaceful, yours will be too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
I, too, have what some people (and certainly speech therapists) would call a
speech-delayed child. I worried some, but was gently made aware by my La
Leche League leader that children will talk in their own time, when they are
ready. So, I waited. I read a book called "Late Talking Children" by
Thomas , who theorized that late-talkers were often gifted
mathematicians or engineers and that perhaps they were working on growing
other parts of the brain at that moment. That helped. I made lists of
words she used, words she made up, words she mispronounced and realized she
was talking in her own way. She also had her own sign language to convey
her needs and wants. We surrounded her with words by reading to her,
watching TV and movies, and talking to her and with her.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Heather
Sent: Friday, November 17, 2006 11:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: speech
Hi. I also have a speech delayed son. He is 3 1/2 and, like you,
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy, but we can't start untill January. I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit. I
guess I am pretty laid back about most 'mothering' things... I am
new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along. (I also have a two yr old girl) I generally
just play with the kids, cook with the kids, take the kids with me
where I go, sleep (co-sleep) with the kids etc... It's driven my MIL
kind of crazy, 'cause I think she thinks I am too 'attached' to them
and honestly I think she blames this for my son's speech delay...
Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I? My point? I think, from what I've
read, that speech delay seems to be more common than I realized for
sure. I think perhaps my staying home w/ my son since birth and
knowing him so well allows him to do many things 'in his own time'
and speaking is one of them. I know what he wants 95% of the time
and so it's not been an issue. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes. I've only recently (in the past few
weeks) decided to unschool/homeschool my kids [took me a long time
to come to that decision, as you can imagine my MIL is not thrilled
or supportive] and, since I no longer have school looming on the
horizon like a dark cloud, I am not as worried about it as I was. I
know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let that
be enough for me. I don't know if any of that helped, but I am up w/
insomnia so hopefully something coherent will have come out of it.
Smiles,
Heather
speech-delayed child. I worried some, but was gently made aware by my La
Leche League leader that children will talk in their own time, when they are
ready. So, I waited. I read a book called "Late Talking Children" by
Thomas , who theorized that late-talkers were often gifted
mathematicians or engineers and that perhaps they were working on growing
other parts of the brain at that moment. That helped. I made lists of
words she used, words she made up, words she mispronounced and realized she
was talking in her own way. She also had her own sign language to convey
her needs and wants. We surrounded her with words by reading to her,
watching TV and movies, and talking to her and with her.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Heather
Sent: Friday, November 17, 2006 11:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: speech
Hi. I also have a speech delayed son. He is 3 1/2 and, like you,
wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't tell
you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying to
figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as much
as other three year olds etc etc etc... We got him evaluated and
they recommended therapy, but we can't start untill January. I,
since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to help
him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going through
pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit. I
guess I am pretty laid back about most 'mothering' things... I am
new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
practicing it all along. (I also have a two yr old girl) I generally
just play with the kids, cook with the kids, take the kids with me
where I go, sleep (co-sleep) with the kids etc... It's driven my MIL
kind of crazy, 'cause I think she thinks I am too 'attached' to them
and honestly I think she blames this for my son's speech delay...
Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am feeling
much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got off
the subject of speech didn't I? My point? I think, from what I've
read, that speech delay seems to be more common than I realized for
sure. I think perhaps my staying home w/ my son since birth and
knowing him so well allows him to do many things 'in his own time'
and speaking is one of them. I know what he wants 95% of the time
and so it's not been an issue. I suppose I'll take him to the
therapy and see how it goes. I've only recently (in the past few
weeks) decided to unschool/homeschool my kids [took me a long time
to come to that decision, as you can imagine my MIL is not thrilled
or supportive] and, since I no longer have school looming on the
horizon like a dark cloud, I am not as worried about it as I was. I
know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and let that
be enough for me. I don't know if any of that helped, but I am up w/
insomnia so hopefully something coherent will have come out of it.
Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], "laura g" <lalow@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> >>***I am not sure how my statement would indicate that I am more
concerned
> >about
> >her than my son.***
>
> ">This is how: "I cant just let him descide each week as this
therapist
> gets
> >paid when she sees him and
> >not when she doesnt so we have to either commit to it or not."
> >
> >It sounds like you care more about how the therapist feels about
a missed
> >week than you care about letting your son choose which weeks to
go."
>
> yea, i can see that..thanks for pointing that out.
>
> >"You could pay the therapist for weeks he misses. If he's
missing more
> >than
> >he's going then you could cancel."
> >
> I actually cant pay the therapist anything (except the 5 dollar
copay). The
> state is paying for it... i cant afford it. But i did like the
idea of
> letting her know we might miss some weeks cause it is up to my son
and if
> she wants to drop us she can.
>
>
> Laura
> >
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Get today's hot entertainment gossip
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
Sorry, I hit send instead of save by accident. Argh. Oh, and the last
name of the author is Sowell.
I also wanted to say that I took heart from hearing about my fathers
delayed speech he couldnt say lots of words and sounds at around 3 or 4
and he speaks just fine now (at 88 <g>).
Our dd is now 11 ½ and has no trouble expressing herself and has lots and
lots of words. Sometimes, she likes to talk a lot, non-stop! We did no
speech therapy just bathed her in words in as many ways possible. Not for
a particular end, but because she loved it and we did, too.
Robin in WA
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
name of the author is Sowell.
I also wanted to say that I took heart from hearing about my fathers
delayed speech he couldnt say lots of words and sounds at around 3 or 4
and he speaks just fine now (at 88 <g>).
Our dd is now 11 ½ and has no trouble expressing herself and has lots and
lots of words. Sometimes, she likes to talk a lot, non-stop! We did no
speech therapy just bathed her in words in as many ways possible. Not for
a particular end, but because she loved it and we did, too.
Robin in WA
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Nov 18, 2006, at 11:34 AM, Robin Bentley wrote:
smelling bubble bath while you talk and play and love!! GREAT image!
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> bathed her in wordsWhat a sweet and warm-sounding phrase. I'm picturing her in a sweet-
smelling bubble bath while you talk and play and love!! GREAT image!
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cally Brown
> theorized that late-talkers were often giftedMany years ago when my eldest (now 25) was 2 and not talking at all, I
>mathematicians or engineers and that perhaps they were working on growing
>other parts of the brain at that moment.
>
was told to get his ears checked as there was deafness in the family. So
I took him, and when the woman had checked him she turned to me and
asked, "So which is his father? a surgeon or and engineer?" Somewhat
flabbergasted I said, "engineer" and she smiled and said, "I my
experience, when their ears are fine, the father is almost always one of
those." She then told me not to worry, he'd start talking when he was
ready. He did.
Cally
Heather
Hello again.
I decided to give myself a few days to let all the comments and
ideas 'digest'... Since there were so many, it was like eating a
large Thanksgiving Meal and it took a while for it all to digest and
me to feel comfortable again and answer! LOL!
I think you were right, Sandra, when you said:
"You seem to be writing about fear, guilt, and how your mother in
law feels more than about how your child feels."
My first feelings after I read it were 'defensiveness' and 'denial',
but after sitting with it a few days, I think it's 'cause you hit on
some truth. I am generally a bit too worried about what other people
think of me and need to 'get over it' in order to become a more
effectual mother to my kids.
My son is very bright and sweet and is wanting to learn things all
the time. You said to talk to him about things we are doing and
living instead of the flash cards... I guess I just went out and
bought them in a 'worried moment' thinking that 'traditional
learning supplies' were needed. We do talk all the time, he in his
own language a lot, but I understand him, so that's what counts. He
loves to learn. We make pancakes together every morning and wash
dishes (he'd rather do that, help me, than to watch TV or play?!)
and he 'talks' to me the whole time we are doing that. So I guess
the reason I am responding is to say that I agree that I need to
worry less, talk to him more and trust that his timetables for
learning to talk are 'right' for him.
I will continue to read all I can find about homeschool and unschool
and in the meantime, just enjoy being Mommy to my two little
miracles.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
I decided to give myself a few days to let all the comments and
ideas 'digest'... Since there were so many, it was like eating a
large Thanksgiving Meal and it took a while for it all to digest and
me to feel comfortable again and answer! LOL!
I think you were right, Sandra, when you said:
"You seem to be writing about fear, guilt, and how your mother in
law feels more than about how your child feels."
My first feelings after I read it were 'defensiveness' and 'denial',
but after sitting with it a few days, I think it's 'cause you hit on
some truth. I am generally a bit too worried about what other people
think of me and need to 'get over it' in order to become a more
effectual mother to my kids.
My son is very bright and sweet and is wanting to learn things all
the time. You said to talk to him about things we are doing and
living instead of the flash cards... I guess I just went out and
bought them in a 'worried moment' thinking that 'traditional
learning supplies' were needed. We do talk all the time, he in his
own language a lot, but I understand him, so that's what counts. He
loves to learn. We make pancakes together every morning and wash
dishes (he'd rather do that, help me, than to watch TV or play?!)
and he 'talks' to me the whole time we are doing that. So I guess
the reason I am responding is to say that I agree that I need to
worry less, talk to him more and trust that his timetables for
learning to talk are 'right' for him.
I will continue to read all I can find about homeschool and unschool
and in the meantime, just enjoy being Mommy to my two little
miracles.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>tell
> -=-Hi. I also have a speech delayed son. He is 3 1/2 and, like you,
> wasn't concerned about him not talking all that much myself...
> Untill his Grandmother (my husbands mother) suggested we get him
> evaluated for speech therapy since she was concerned... I can't
> you how many nights after that I beat myself up mentally, trying tomuch
> figure out where I'd gone 'wrong' and why he wasn't speaking as
> as other three year olds etc etc etc... -=-make
>
> Beating yourself up mentally doesn't make you a better mom, nor
> your son's life calmer.help
>
> -=-We got him evaluated and
> they recommended therapy-=-
>
> They don't make money if they don't recommend therapy.
>
> -=-I,
> since that time, have been making a more concentrated effort to
> him improve his speech (buying flash cards of words, going throughyour
> pic books and, instead of reading them outright, just talking about
> what is in the pics etc). He's acutally improving quite a bit.-=-
>
> Flash cards of words? He's 3 1/2. Aren't there things all over
> house and neighborhood to talk about? Talk with him. Don'tjust
> talk to him, have conversations. Ask him questions, but notteacher-
> style questions. Play little games with him. Play with words.Use
> different words for things, talk about whether something is a treeor
> a bush, or a puppy or a dog, or a chair or a stool.That's
>
> -=-I am new to the unschooling concept, but realize that I've been
> practicing it all along.-=-
>
> With a two and three year old, what you've been practicing is
> mothering infants and toddlers. Attachment parenting, maybe.
> all great, but your kid could still go to school at five, so whatfeeling
> you're doing is parenting.
>
> -=-Since having discovered this posting board and others, I am
> much more comfortable in my own skin as a Mommy. I guess I got offthey're
> the subject of speech didn't I?-=-
>
> Not really, because what you're on is the idea of confidence and
> patience and accepting children's learning patterns even when
> different. You seem to be writing about fear, guilt, and howyour
> mother in law feels more than about how your child feels.Taking
>
> You say he's learning quite a bit. Let that be your focus.
>
> -=-. I suppose I'll take him to the
> therapy and see how it goes.-=-
>
> You already feel strongly that you've done something wrong.
> him to professionals who will treat him like he's dong somethinglet
> wrong isn't your only option.
>
> People learn in their own ways and in their own time.
>
> -=- I know he'll talk sometime, in his own time. I just try and
> thatwill
> be enough for me.-=-
>
> He won't learn in his own time if you take him to therapy. They
> TELL you what he "should" know and their timetable will have todo
> with school.
>
> Here are some things that might help you consider how to make his
> life richer and more peaceful:
> http://sandradodd.com/nest
>
> When his life is richer and more peaceful, yours will be too.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-just enjoy being Mommy to my two little
miracles. -=-
That sounds good. I'm glad you thought about all you read and that
you feel better.
-=-I am generally a bit too worried about what other people
think of me and need to 'get over it' in order to become a more
effectual mother to my kids. -=-
Your child into the world with a mother. You ARE his mother.
You don't need to become his mother.
You don't need to aspire to be a "more effectual mother" but just to
put him first.
Don't let anyone else get between you and your child. That
relationship is as real as anything ever on the planet.
-=-I will continue to read all I can find about homeschool and
unschool -=-
I recommend more about unschooling and less about homeschooling,
personally. Much of what you'll find online about homeschooling will
be what to buy, and how to test, and what to worry about.
Here's some more on unschooling:
http://sandradodd.com/life
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
miracles. -=-
That sounds good. I'm glad you thought about all you read and that
you feel better.
-=-I am generally a bit too worried about what other people
think of me and need to 'get over it' in order to become a more
effectual mother to my kids. -=-
Your child into the world with a mother. You ARE his mother.
You don't need to become his mother.
You don't need to aspire to be a "more effectual mother" but just to
put him first.
Don't let anyone else get between you and your child. That
relationship is as real as anything ever on the planet.
-=-I will continue to read all I can find about homeschool and
unschool -=-
I recommend more about unschooling and less about homeschooling,
personally. Much of what you'll find online about homeschooling will
be what to buy, and how to test, and what to worry about.
Here's some more on unschooling:
http://sandradodd.com/life
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I have another idea. Maybe record a conversation between you and
your son, or do something that involves recitation of something, like
a rhyme or ABCs or something. Some little thing. Save it. Record
again in a couple of months and see if you can hear progress.
When we're with a child all the time, it's hard to see them grow and
change.
Sandra
your son, or do something that involves recitation of something, like
a rhyme or ABCs or something. Some little thing. Save it. Record
again in a couple of months and see if you can hear progress.
When we're with a child all the time, it's hard to see them grow and
change.
Sandra
Heather
Sandra,
What a great idea! Thanks. I even have a 'digital recording device'
(not sure the real name of this little device, my hubby's the techno
wizard of the family) and I could use it! The funniest part is,
since we had him 'evaluated', he's improved by leaps and bounds on
his own... At least, as far as I am concerned he has. His newest
utterance (new to him and it makes me grin everytime he says it
since he's never been a real talker) is "Mine!!!" or 'My toy' (or
whatever) Music to my ears, being that he's never really said such
things before. I've had people tell me, when they noticed he wasn't
a real talker, that 'wait till he does start to talk, you'll miss
the silence'... Bah! I LOVE HEARING his ideas and thoughts and his
almost constant questioning of "What's this?That?" that he's been
doing lately. LOVE IT. ;)
I also have to tell you that hearing from you Sandra, after having
read a lot about unschooling on your page Radical Unschooling is a
bit surreal, almost like I am having conversations with John Holt or
something. (I am reading one of his books along with several others
about educating children right now... Depends on where I am in the
house as to which one I have my nose in, if you know what I mean...
LOL! I leave 'em all over the place and pick up the most handy one
when I am in whereever my kids are... Just been reading 'The Hurried
Child' by David Elkind while my kids were bubble bathing 'cause it's
the one sitting in the bathroom.. ha! but I digress...) Anyway, very
cool to actually hear from you and that you are so involved in the
exchange of ideas on these boards! Thank you! :)
Warmest Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
What a great idea! Thanks. I even have a 'digital recording device'
(not sure the real name of this little device, my hubby's the techno
wizard of the family) and I could use it! The funniest part is,
since we had him 'evaluated', he's improved by leaps and bounds on
his own... At least, as far as I am concerned he has. His newest
utterance (new to him and it makes me grin everytime he says it
since he's never been a real talker) is "Mine!!!" or 'My toy' (or
whatever) Music to my ears, being that he's never really said such
things before. I've had people tell me, when they noticed he wasn't
a real talker, that 'wait till he does start to talk, you'll miss
the silence'... Bah! I LOVE HEARING his ideas and thoughts and his
almost constant questioning of "What's this?That?" that he's been
doing lately. LOVE IT. ;)
I also have to tell you that hearing from you Sandra, after having
read a lot about unschooling on your page Radical Unschooling is a
bit surreal, almost like I am having conversations with John Holt or
something. (I am reading one of his books along with several others
about educating children right now... Depends on where I am in the
house as to which one I have my nose in, if you know what I mean...
LOL! I leave 'em all over the place and pick up the most handy one
when I am in whereever my kids are... Just been reading 'The Hurried
Child' by David Elkind while my kids were bubble bathing 'cause it's
the one sitting in the bathroom.. ha! but I digress...) Anyway, very
cool to actually hear from you and that you are so involved in the
exchange of ideas on these boards! Thank you! :)
Warmest Smiles,
Heather
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>like
> I have another idea. Maybe record a conversation between you and
> your son, or do something that involves recitation of something,
> a rhyme or ABCs or something. Some little thing. Save it.Record
> again in a couple of months and see if you can hear progress.and
>
> When we're with a child all the time, it's hard to see them grow
> change.
>
> Sandra
>
Sandra Dodd
I hope you all repaired my writing in your heads... I left "came"
out of the first line when I sent it:
Your child came into the world with a mother. You ARE his mother.
You don't need to become his mother.
You don't need to aspire to be a "more effectual mother" but just to
put him first.
Don't let anyone else get between you and your child. That
relationship is as real as anything ever on the planet.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
out of the first line when I sent it:
Your child came into the world with a mother. You ARE his mother.
You don't need to become his mother.
You don't need to aspire to be a "more effectual mother" but just to
put him first.
Don't let anyone else get between you and your child. That
relationship is as real as anything ever on the planet.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
annx33
My son's speech is often garbled and hard to understand. He just turned 16. He was adopted as an infant, was a 27 week premie which might account for his inability to articulate certain sounds. I didn't learn about unschooling til he was 9 or so; he was in school til then. (Fortunately, we traveled alot and took school kind of lightly, but when he was in school they gave him regular speech therapy)
Since beginning unschooling I've not sought out therapy or any circumstance to improve his speech; both because he hasn't asked and it didn't seem to help him when he was in it. I ask him to repeat things sometimes, or say I'm sorry I didn't get that . . . I don't pretend that I understand him when I don't.
Dan will talk about his speech impediment, (his words) as embarrassing and sometimes getting in his way. He leans towards texting and email alot to communicate with friends (but so do my other kids). I'm noticing that he slows his speech down on the phone and with new people. It seems to go in phases, too, there's weeks when he's harder to understand and then weeks when he's pretty clear.
He interviewed for a paid internship at a museum and had to answer questions publicly to all the other people (teens, curators, etc) in the program. He began by talking about his difficulties with his speech. He said it was his weakness and his strength. Apparently it started a few other people in the group "admitting" to early speech therapy and being embarrassed about speech issues. He was selected for the job, but decided after two weeks that it wasn't what he wanted to do. It could have been because he was going to have to tour people through the museum and talk to the public, but the overall shape and duties of the internship were unclear as well; he decided not to continue.
I don't suggest things that he might "do" to improve his speech although I do think about it so I have ideas at the ready should he ask for help specifically ( coaching in diction; pre- broadcasting coaching, mouth exercises, using straws, blow-pens, popsicles, push-ups, learning tongue twisters, to learning auctioneering . . .(!) )
It's been a tender balance - from a matter of factness when I don't understand him, to just being available to say, yeah, it sucks sometimes, to having these ideas at the ready, to most importantly focusing on his strengths and interests.
Ann
Since beginning unschooling I've not sought out therapy or any circumstance to improve his speech; both because he hasn't asked and it didn't seem to help him when he was in it. I ask him to repeat things sometimes, or say I'm sorry I didn't get that . . . I don't pretend that I understand him when I don't.
Dan will talk about his speech impediment, (his words) as embarrassing and sometimes getting in his way. He leans towards texting and email alot to communicate with friends (but so do my other kids). I'm noticing that he slows his speech down on the phone and with new people. It seems to go in phases, too, there's weeks when he's harder to understand and then weeks when he's pretty clear.
He interviewed for a paid internship at a museum and had to answer questions publicly to all the other people (teens, curators, etc) in the program. He began by talking about his difficulties with his speech. He said it was his weakness and his strength. Apparently it started a few other people in the group "admitting" to early speech therapy and being embarrassed about speech issues. He was selected for the job, but decided after two weeks that it wasn't what he wanted to do. It could have been because he was going to have to tour people through the museum and talk to the public, but the overall shape and duties of the internship were unclear as well; he decided not to continue.
I don't suggest things that he might "do" to improve his speech although I do think about it so I have ideas at the ready should he ask for help specifically ( coaching in diction; pre- broadcasting coaching, mouth exercises, using straws, blow-pens, popsicles, push-ups, learning tongue twisters, to learning auctioneering . . .(!) )
It's been a tender balance - from a matter of factness when I don't understand him, to just being available to say, yeah, it sucks sometimes, to having these ideas at the ready, to most importantly focusing on his strengths and interests.
Ann
Mary Hickcox
I am the original poster on the speech topic and I guess I should have mentioned that that we do NOT live in the US and are somewhat remotely located in Costa Rica. Services like speech therapy are harder to come by here particularly to find a therapist with no English impediment of their own. (most native Spanish speakers have quite an accent in English) I do believe it is a motor function thing and I also will have his hearing tested. He had tubes as a baby and was tested after that but maybe scar tissue has built up. When shown specifically how to say something he responds quite well and can repeat the word correctly but even after lots of doing this, when he is excited he speaks fast and forgets all of it:) Thanks so much everyone and any other tidbits would eb greatly appreciated.
Mary mama to Dylan (10), Colin (6) and Theo Benjamin (2)
"Be who you want your children to be." Unknown "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." Buddha
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
Denis Diderot
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary mama to Dylan (10), Colin (6) and Theo Benjamin (2)
"Be who you want your children to be." Unknown "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." Buddha
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
Denis Diderot
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<< I do believe it is a motor function thing and I also will have his
hearing tested. He had tubes as a baby and was tested after that but maybe
scar tissue has built up. >>>>
And/or it could be that he is hearing a lot of heavily accented English. How
does he do when speaking in Spanish?
Play tongue twister games together. Maybe write your own funny ones or
limericks as part of the games.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
hearing tested. He had tubes as a baby and was tested after that but maybe
scar tissue has built up. >>>>
And/or it could be that he is hearing a lot of heavily accented English. How
does he do when speaking in Spanish?
Play tongue twister games together. Maybe write your own funny ones or
limericks as part of the games.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com