scary history
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I first learned about German childrearing in education courses, reading what
psychologists (mostly German or German/Austrian trained then) wrote, and
thinking they were mean.
Then several years ago I read Alice Millers' _For Your Own Good_, with lots
about Hitler.
This site is very scary, but might be worth looking at for those who are
considering what is natural and what we should avoid as parents, and to
consider that some people raised this way are still living great-grandparents
(or younger).
-=-German family maxims described the lack of love of mothers toward their
children, saying tenderness was "generally not part of the mother's
character. Just as she kept her children short on food and clothing, she also
was short on fondling and tenderness [feeling] the children should regard
themselves as useless weeds and be grateful that they were tolerated."285
Children were expected to give love to their parents, not the parents to
their children: "We always appeared trembling before our parents, hoping that
our official kiss of their hands would be accepted"286 One boy reported his
mother once dropped a word of praise, saying to someone that "He is good and
well-liked," so that the boy remembered it all his life "because the words
were totally new sounds to my ear."287 But kind words were rare in German
homes, so most Germans remembered "no tender word, no caresses, only fear"288
and childhood was "joyless," "so immeasurably sad that you could not fathom
it."289 Yet this hatred of children in German families was not something that
they felt guilty about. German parents endlessly impressed upon the children
their pride in their family atmosphere of hatred. "I don't want to be loved,"
said one typical father, "I want to be feared!"290 Another father summed up
his feelings about family discipline as follows:
"It is good to hate. To hate is strong, manly. It makes the blood flow. It
makes one alert. It is necessary for keeping up the fighting instincts. To
love is feebleness. It enervates. You see all the nations that talk of love
as the keynote of life are weak, degenerate. Germany is the most powerful
nation in the world because she hates. When you hate, you eat well, sleep
well, work well, fight well.291" -=-
<A HREF="http://webpages.charter.net/jspeyrer/war2.htm">From</A>
http://webpages.charter.net/jspeyrer/war2.htm
psychologists (mostly German or German/Austrian trained then) wrote, and
thinking they were mean.
Then several years ago I read Alice Millers' _For Your Own Good_, with lots
about Hitler.
This site is very scary, but might be worth looking at for those who are
considering what is natural and what we should avoid as parents, and to
consider that some people raised this way are still living great-grandparents
(or younger).
-=-German family maxims described the lack of love of mothers toward their
children, saying tenderness was "generally not part of the mother's
character. Just as she kept her children short on food and clothing, she also
was short on fondling and tenderness [feeling] the children should regard
themselves as useless weeds and be grateful that they were tolerated."285
Children were expected to give love to their parents, not the parents to
their children: "We always appeared trembling before our parents, hoping that
our official kiss of their hands would be accepted"286 One boy reported his
mother once dropped a word of praise, saying to someone that "He is good and
well-liked," so that the boy remembered it all his life "because the words
were totally new sounds to my ear."287 But kind words were rare in German
homes, so most Germans remembered "no tender word, no caresses, only fear"288
and childhood was "joyless," "so immeasurably sad that you could not fathom
it."289 Yet this hatred of children in German families was not something that
they felt guilty about. German parents endlessly impressed upon the children
their pride in their family atmosphere of hatred. "I don't want to be loved,"
said one typical father, "I want to be feared!"290 Another father summed up
his feelings about family discipline as follows:
"It is good to hate. To hate is strong, manly. It makes the blood flow. It
makes one alert. It is necessary for keeping up the fighting instincts. To
love is feebleness. It enervates. You see all the nations that talk of love
as the keynote of life are weak, degenerate. Germany is the most powerful
nation in the world because she hates. When you hate, you eat well, sleep
well, work well, fight well.291" -=-
<A HREF="http://webpages.charter.net/jspeyrer/war2.htm">From</A>
http://webpages.charter.net/jspeyrer/war2.htm
Karin
I am learning something new every day here.
Yesterday I was quite shocked by some of the stuff I read from Joyce's link she provided on nursing and sexual stimulation and how it quite common in some cultures. Never head of THAT!
The German childrearing seems to lean in the complete opposite direction:
<snip> "saying tenderness was "generally not part of the mother's character. Just as she kept her children short on food and clothing, she also was short on fondling and tenderness ..."
Hopefully, I am somewhere in the middle!
Always Learning,
Karin
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yesterday I was quite shocked by some of the stuff I read from Joyce's link she provided on nursing and sexual stimulation and how it quite common in some cultures. Never head of THAT!
The German childrearing seems to lean in the complete opposite direction:
<snip> "saying tenderness was "generally not part of the mother's character. Just as she kept her children short on food and clothing, she also was short on fondling and tenderness ..."
Hopefully, I am somewhere in the middle!
Always Learning,
Karin
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>This stuff may have been true in some or even many German homes, but it
>
>Then several years ago I read Alice Millers' _For Your Own Good_, with lots
>about Hitler.
wasn't true in the family my father grew up in.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
meghan anderson
This makes my heart ache for those millions of
children raised with that kind of consciousness :-(
Meghan
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children raised with that kind of consciousness :-(
Meghan
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Peggy
As dismal as finding things like this can be, on the other hand it gives
me hope, hope that if only people get it together to raise the world's
children lovingly then world peace could actually be achieved. I so
believe that raising children in violence creates a violent world.
Peggy
meghan anderson wrote:
me hope, hope that if only people get it together to raise the world's
children lovingly then world peace could actually be achieved. I so
believe that raising children in violence creates a violent world.
Peggy
meghan anderson wrote:
>
> This makes my heart ache for those millions of
> children raised with that kind of consciousness :-(
>
> Meghan
>
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