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Diving into
fantasy games is exciting, but hollow in the end because
you have nothing real to show for it.


The same can be said of playing piano, or reading novels, or cooking.

-=-What do they get from the games and pursuit of material goods, that
they can't get from real action?-=-

They get being safe in their own home with friends at 3:00 a.m.
There is other "real action" involving teenaged boys at that hour, but my kids have no desire to be a part of it, for which I'm totally grateful!

There was a low-income project in my neighborhood when I was a kid.  Partly public funding, partly volunteer, and within months all the washers and dryers had been sold, several of the doors had been kicked in, and nobody wanted to live there soon, not even poor people.  Even real action can be unsatisfying.

-=-This is way out there, but I feel like people can never get enough of
(be satisfied by) something that isn't really satisfying. -=-

It seems to be the nature of humans to feel unsatisfied, to want something more, better, different, and new.

Sandra


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In a message dated 11/27/2001 1:05:04 AM Pacific Standard Time, vegan4planet@... writes:


I will try to be more careful about how and what I post. I really don't
want to stir up things with my half baked thoughts. I want to encourage
and contribute, not attack or criticize. Sorry
about that.


Well - it is always nice to have someone around willing to voice thoughts that might be worth considering even if they are unpopular among unschoolers. As long as you don't get upset when people disagree with you! I mean, I disagreed with you about these kinds of games not being satisfying for the reasons you gave, but it made me think about how this is one of those things where there is something inherent in them that makes people always want more and more. And that is worth thinking about. It isn't the same as playing a game of checkers or a game of backgammon or even a game of Pictionary. There are all these things to BUY and keep on buying to add to your set. So, ongoing money expenditure is involved and that makes it different and worth spending some time thinking about. And - there is an obsessive quality to them -- that is absent in other kinds of games. I think THAT is the crux of the anxiety that parents sometimes feel -- it makes us uncomfortable when our kids are obsessive about anything. Why?

--pam

Elizabeth Hill

 

SandraDodd@... wrote:

 

They get being safe in their own home with friends at 3:00 a.m.
There is other "real action" involving teenaged boys at that hour, but my kids have no desire to be a part of it, for which I'm totally grateful!


I recently figured out that that's the reason I am so "in to" fiction.  Because it provides a safe adventure.
 

Even real action can be unsatisfying.


True for me!

I don't know if it's just the arrival of winter weather, but I have been experiencing couch potato angst.  I realize I spend an awful lot of time thinking, dreaming and in virtual interaction.  On the spectrum that runs from dreamer to doer, I'm way over in "dreamer" and almost never visit "doer" to do anything more strenuous than buy groceries.

But, while pondering, I've been thinking that I don't get much satisfaction out of doing things.  I feel like I really don't get pleasure from accomplishment.  (And it's more than just ephemeral things like housework that don't stay "done".)

Does anyone have insight into where satisfaction at a job well done comes from?  Can it only be destroyed by being a perfectionist, or are there other ways it might be undermined?

Betsy
 
 

Laurie Junkins

PSoroosh@... wrote
> different and worth spending some time thinking about. And - there is
> an obsessive quality to them -- that is absent in other kinds of
> games. I think THAT is the crux of the anxiety that parents sometimes
> feel -- it makes us uncomfortable when our kids ar! e obsessive about
> anything. Why?
>

Normally I'm a lurker, but this really cracked me up. Nine years ago,
when ds was a baby, dh and I went on vacation for a week, using a condo
that his dad had given us his timeshare for. We were really poor and
couldn't afford to do anything, so we borrowed some board games from the
main office of the timeshare place. We ended up getting totally
obsessed with Monopoly and played it all day and half the night for six
days in a row! We stopped only to eat, sleep, and tend to ds (who was
young enough that he slept most of the time). I have never, before or
since, been so obsessed with a game. We still laugh about it. When my
kids get obesessed with something, I try to figure out (just for my own
curiosity) what need they are meeting at that particular time with their
obsession. I still haven't figured out what need two 24-year-olds could
have met by doing nothing but playing Monopoly, but it was sure fun!

Laurie in WA