Julia Swancy

welcome to all the newcomers! there is a lot of info
to absorb when considering/beginning unschooling. it
seems a lot of moms have differences of opinion with
their dh's on the unschool lists I am on, lol! in
addition to john holt, another author to check out
(for your own info as well as for your dh) is john
taylor gatto. some might also find alfie kohn
interesting, although I found his "unconditional
parenting" to be a bit condescending. his "punished by
rewards" is one that may be very relevant for a
reluctant dh.

that article on quitting is truly fabulous! I used to
berate myself for being "lazy." I was in grad school
working on a phd in chemistry and hated doing
research! I would avoid work in whatever way I could
manufacture. a very wise woman told me, "we aren't
lazy when we're doing what we want to do." when was
the last time you avoided doing something you love? I
have learned that laziness is merely the symptom of
doing something that I find uninteresting. for the mom
in alaska (sorry I can't remember your name, I'm on
digest and they all have run together now!), it sounds
like your dh might need some gentle support about not
liking his job! it sounds like he feels stuck, and
perhaps is resentful (those feelings often go together
for me!). it may not even be homeschooling that he is
against; it may be his fears talking-- fear of it
costing more money (if you are going to stop working,
for instance) or some other fear-based expectation
that he has. you might try active listening with him
around this (I have no idea how well he will respond,
not knowing him). ask him calmly, when you're not
already arguing about it, what it is about
homeschooling that he has concerns about. perhaps in a
separate conversation you might ask him about work--
is it more stressful lately? what would he do if he
could pick any job in the world? why does he think he
does not have the freedom to pursue that? just some
possibilities here... it is important on many levels
that he feels included in the decision, even if your
goal is to convince him of your way, and even if you
succeed in doing so. he may have some valid concerns
that you haven't thought of! however it goes, dh needs
to feel heard and needs his POV considered.

I think, as others have said and implied, the litmus
test is the happiness of your children. if they seem
well-adjusted and generally happy, roll with it. you
mentioned that your son doesn't socialize much; if he
is content, it's probably just his personality,
something your dh will benefit from learning to
accept. this can be hard, as many adults were not
allowed to be themselves as children (or as adults,
for that matter!). if, however, your son seemed to be
*anti*social, or brooding, there might be something
else going on. but I doubt it has anything to do with
having him in or out of school! as for the one who
wants to stay in school, I agree with the post which
pointed out that you might be creating problems that
don't exist by pulling her out. "if it ain't broke,
don't fix it!" :D

just take your time, and enjoy the ride!

Julia