Sleeping
Arlynn Liebster
Hi Joanna! I thought I would just share our families arrangements, not that
they are working so wonderfully or anything. My dh couldn't stand sleeping
in the same room as the kids, they were too noisy for him to sleep and so at
about 6 weeks old me and the twins got booted out of the room into the
livingroom/couch. I did not like that one bit but it made sense at the time,
so I can sort of relate to husbands that have been booted out of their
bedrooms. When we moved when the kids were 7 months old we set up 2
bedrooms, 1 for me and the twins and 1 for my dh. He has tried to move into
our room several times over the past 2 years but just cannot sleep thru the
kids noises. Now, I find this hilarious b/c my dh is the LOUDEST snorer in
the known universe and I had slept thru his snoring for 5 years before the
birth of our children. Now he has a cpap machine and I simply cannot sleep
thru the sound of that machine. Go figure. I miss being able to just snuggle
with him in our bed. Other than that, our sleeping arrangements have worked
out fine up until now. My son was starting to move around so badly and sleep
literally on top of my head and so I have started to transition him into a
toddler bed smack up against the side of our king size bed and he usually
sleeps thru the night in his little toddler bed. But, my dd is still very
very needy to sleep in the big bed with mommy and there would be no way I
could just kick her out. We have all had a bit of a stomach bug for the past
week and I guess my son didn't feel well in the middle of the night. I was
working in my office across the hall and he got out of bed to go looking for
me and ended up stopping and falling asleep in our dog's bed at the foot of
our big bed in the bedroom, which is also smack up against the kingsize
family bed. When I went in to go to sleep and saw my baby boy sleeping 1/2
on the floor/1/2 on the dog's bed my heart just died a thousand deaths. OMG,
I thought, I have kicked the poor child out of our bed and he needs a warm
body so badly that he went to sleep with the dog!! Now, we love our Penelope
(our boxer) and she is definitely my first child, but, there is no way I
would make my kid sleep with the dog instead of in our big bed. So, I
scooped up the child and held him all night long in our big bed like old
times and it is just so sweet to breathe in the breath of a sleeping child.
I cannot figure out for the life of me why so many husbands don't realize
how precious this time is. Soon enough they will be, like, don't kiss me
mom, drop me off at the corner so no one sees me get out of the car mom,
stuff like that. Now they want me to hold them and kiss them and snuggle all
night long and it is just so precious. Yeah, except when he kicks and rolls
over his sister trying to land the coveted spot right on top of my head.
What *is* it with him? I think he's practicing for world wrestling
championships. His father was pretty good supposedly back in college. :-) We
figure at some point in the distant future we will have our marital bed back
in the masterbedroom and the kids in their own rooms or on our floor but for
now I go visit dh in his room. -Arlynn
they are working so wonderfully or anything. My dh couldn't stand sleeping
in the same room as the kids, they were too noisy for him to sleep and so at
about 6 weeks old me and the twins got booted out of the room into the
livingroom/couch. I did not like that one bit but it made sense at the time,
so I can sort of relate to husbands that have been booted out of their
bedrooms. When we moved when the kids were 7 months old we set up 2
bedrooms, 1 for me and the twins and 1 for my dh. He has tried to move into
our room several times over the past 2 years but just cannot sleep thru the
kids noises. Now, I find this hilarious b/c my dh is the LOUDEST snorer in
the known universe and I had slept thru his snoring for 5 years before the
birth of our children. Now he has a cpap machine and I simply cannot sleep
thru the sound of that machine. Go figure. I miss being able to just snuggle
with him in our bed. Other than that, our sleeping arrangements have worked
out fine up until now. My son was starting to move around so badly and sleep
literally on top of my head and so I have started to transition him into a
toddler bed smack up against the side of our king size bed and he usually
sleeps thru the night in his little toddler bed. But, my dd is still very
very needy to sleep in the big bed with mommy and there would be no way I
could just kick her out. We have all had a bit of a stomach bug for the past
week and I guess my son didn't feel well in the middle of the night. I was
working in my office across the hall and he got out of bed to go looking for
me and ended up stopping and falling asleep in our dog's bed at the foot of
our big bed in the bedroom, which is also smack up against the kingsize
family bed. When I went in to go to sleep and saw my baby boy sleeping 1/2
on the floor/1/2 on the dog's bed my heart just died a thousand deaths. OMG,
I thought, I have kicked the poor child out of our bed and he needs a warm
body so badly that he went to sleep with the dog!! Now, we love our Penelope
(our boxer) and she is definitely my first child, but, there is no way I
would make my kid sleep with the dog instead of in our big bed. So, I
scooped up the child and held him all night long in our big bed like old
times and it is just so sweet to breathe in the breath of a sleeping child.
I cannot figure out for the life of me why so many husbands don't realize
how precious this time is. Soon enough they will be, like, don't kiss me
mom, drop me off at the corner so no one sees me get out of the car mom,
stuff like that. Now they want me to hold them and kiss them and snuggle all
night long and it is just so precious. Yeah, except when he kicks and rolls
over his sister trying to land the coveted spot right on top of my head.
What *is* it with him? I think he's practicing for world wrestling
championships. His father was pretty good supposedly back in college. :-) We
figure at some point in the distant future we will have our marital bed back
in the masterbedroom and the kids in their own rooms or on our floor but for
now I go visit dh in his room. -Arlynn
Gold Standard
Arlynn, I really enjoyed your post. I felt like I was right there with you
and your sleeping family!
One thing you mentioned I wanted to respond to:
unschoolers. I have three teenagers now and one almost teenager (17, 15, 13,
11), and so far they have tolerated my kissing and hugging publicly without
issue, and have no problem with my presence around them and their friends.
It's all about the relationship...I have respected and admired them their
whole lives, they really like to be with me most of the time. I'm the same
way with their friends. The stereotypical teenager/parent relationship that
is portrayed so often...teenager pushes adults away because adults are so
clueless about teenager...doesn't really happen in open, respectful, caring
relationships as far as I can tell.
Jacki
and your sleeping family!
One thing you mentioned I wanted to respond to:
>>Soon enough they will be, like, don't kiss meI just wanted to say that this is not necessarily true...particularly for
>>mom, drop me off at the corner so no one sees me get out of the car mom,
>>stuff like that.<<
unschoolers. I have three teenagers now and one almost teenager (17, 15, 13,
11), and so far they have tolerated my kissing and hugging publicly without
issue, and have no problem with my presence around them and their friends.
It's all about the relationship...I have respected and admired them their
whole lives, they really like to be with me most of the time. I'm the same
way with their friends. The stereotypical teenager/parent relationship that
is portrayed so often...teenager pushes adults away because adults are so
clueless about teenager...doesn't really happen in open, respectful, caring
relationships as far as I can tell.
Jacki
Sandra Dodd
I agree with what Jacki has written below.
I also expected the teens would want to avoid parents, but now I
think that's a school-related thing in part, and a relationship-
damage thing (school related/culturally expected), and not a
"natural" part of teen years.
Hugging and kissing stopped being initiated by me when the boys were
at puberty. Maybe at home I'll hug someone or rub his head, but I
don't do any more in public than maybe put a hand on his back. Even
if he's not an anti-mom guy, his friends might all be and it's not
worth the risk of his discomfort. Sometimes they wanted to initiate
more physical contact (Marty still, sometimes) and that's fine. If
it's his choice, no problem.
Holly is 14 and will still hold my hand in public sometimes, sit
close to me, lean on me in waiting rooms or restaurants, etc.
The boys invite me to the movies sometimes even if their other teen
friends are going. Sometimes I've gone, but more often I've thanked
them and refused, because I think they'll have more fun if I'm not
there. None of them seems embarrassed to go shopping with me or out
to eat. Even though Marty and Kirby can drive, they still ask me to
go with them sometimes. Marty wanted me to go with him to the
orthodontist yesterday. He checked himself in and made his own next
appointment; I just sat in the waiting room and read a magazine, but
it made him feel better that I was there.
Sandra
I also expected the teens would want to avoid parents, but now I
think that's a school-related thing in part, and a relationship-
damage thing (school related/culturally expected), and not a
"natural" part of teen years.
Hugging and kissing stopped being initiated by me when the boys were
at puberty. Maybe at home I'll hug someone or rub his head, but I
don't do any more in public than maybe put a hand on his back. Even
if he's not an anti-mom guy, his friends might all be and it's not
worth the risk of his discomfort. Sometimes they wanted to initiate
more physical contact (Marty still, sometimes) and that's fine. If
it's his choice, no problem.
Holly is 14 and will still hold my hand in public sometimes, sit
close to me, lean on me in waiting rooms or restaurants, etc.
The boys invite me to the movies sometimes even if their other teen
friends are going. Sometimes I've gone, but more often I've thanked
them and refused, because I think they'll have more fun if I'm not
there. None of them seems embarrassed to go shopping with me or out
to eat. Even though Marty and Kirby can drive, they still ask me to
go with them sometimes. Marty wanted me to go with him to the
orthodontist yesterday. He checked himself in and made his own next
appointment; I just sat in the waiting room and read a magazine, but
it made him feel better that I was there.
Sandra
On Feb 3, 2006, at 9:24 AM, Gold Standard wrote:
>
> >>Soon enough they will be, like, don't kiss me
> >>mom, drop me off at the corner so no one sees me get out of the
> car mom,
> >>stuff like that.<<
>
> I just wanted to say that this is not necessarily
> true...particularly for
> unschoolers. I have three teenagers now and one almost teenager
> (17, 15, 13,
> 11), and so far they have tolerated my kissing and hugging publicly
> without
> issue, and have no problem with my presence around them and their
> friends.
> It's all about the relationship...I have respected and admired them
> their
> whole lives, they really like to be with me most of the time. I'm
> the same
> way with their friends. The stereotypical teenager/parent
> relationship that
> is portrayed so often...teenager pushes adults away because adults
> are so
> clueless about teenager...doesn't really happen in open,
> respectful, caring
> relationships as far as I can tell.
Paula Sjogerman
On Feb 3, 2006, at 10:24 AM, Gold Standard wrote:
Paula, not clueless though
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that the
child is already someone today."
> teenager pushes adults away because adults are soSometimes it does :(
> clueless about teenager...doesn't really happen in open,
> respectful, caring
> relationships as far as I can tell.
Paula, not clueless though
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that the
child is already someone today."
Gold Standard
> teenager pushes adults away because adults are soThanks for sharing that Paula! Can you talk more about it?
> clueless about teenager...doesn't really happen in open,
> respectful, caring
> relationships as far as I can tell.
>>Sometimes it does :(
>>Paula, not clueless though<<
Jacki
Cally Brown
Definitely....
stopped. My 22yo still causes mouths to drop open, and then looks of
envy cross faces when I visit his work place. He works in a very large
hardware / timber / garden store and always greets me with a hug and a
kiss, and will walk around the store with his arm around me. He's always
been the cuddliest of my babies, but the others all still give me a hug
or a kiss regardless of who is around and always have done - there has
never been an embarrassed, withdrawal period in their lives.
Cally
mother of 4 lovely sons now aged 24, 22, 18, 15
>I also expected the teens would want to avoid parents, but now IMy kids have never stopped hugs etc. It has slowed down but has never
>think that's a school-related thing in part, and a relationship-
>damage thing (school related/culturally expected), and not a
>"natural" part of teen years.
>
stopped. My 22yo still causes mouths to drop open, and then looks of
envy cross faces when I visit his work place. He works in a very large
hardware / timber / garden store and always greets me with a hug and a
kiss, and will walk around the store with his arm around me. He's always
been the cuddliest of my babies, but the others all still give me a hug
or a kiss regardless of who is around and always have done - there has
never been an embarrassed, withdrawal period in their lives.
Cally
mother of 4 lovely sons now aged 24, 22, 18, 15
Cally Brown
PS
I watched my kids very carefully for signals. There were times when I
could see they would prefer to initiate hugs themselves, but on the
other hand they also liked me to sometimes, so they didn't feel like it
was them doing the initiating all the time. It's all pretty subtle.
After a while I realised I could initiate hugs in front of other
homeschoolers (not just unschoolers) but elsewhere I left it to them.
Cally
I watched my kids very carefully for signals. There were times when I
could see they would prefer to initiate hugs themselves, but on the
other hand they also liked me to sometimes, so they didn't feel like it
was them doing the initiating all the time. It's all pretty subtle.
After a while I realised I could initiate hugs in front of other
homeschoolers (not just unschoolers) but elsewhere I left it to them.
Cally
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/3/2006 2:02:50 PM Eastern Standard Time,
mjcmbrwn@... writes:
month!) not only hugs me in public, he picks me up and squeezes me. :op
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mjcmbrwn@... writes:
>I also expected the teens would want to avoid parents, but now IMy over 6 foot son (can't even keep up, it seems he grows a 1/2 inch a
>think that's a school-related thing in part, and a relationship-
>damage thing (school related/culturally expected), and not a
>"natural" part of teen years.
>
month!) not only hugs me in public, he picks me up and squeezes me. :op
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
On Feb 3, 2006, at 10:17 AM, Gold Standard wrote:
out for more than they care to volunteer, okay?
Sandra
(speaking as listowner)
> Thanks for sharing that Paula! Can you talk more about it?She *CAN* and if she wanted to she would've. Let's not draw people
out for more than they care to volunteer, okay?
Sandra
(speaking as listowner)
Sandra Dodd
On Feb 3, 2006, at 11:51 AM, Cally Brown wrote:
There are times and places I might hug my husband but that doesn't
mean I'd do it any where and any time.
It depends.
Best of all answers. <G>
Sandra
> It's all pretty subtle.Aha! It comes back to treating them as you would an adult friend.
> After a while I realised I could initiate hugs in front of other
> homeschoolers (not just unschoolers) but elsewhere I left it to them.
There are times and places I might hug my husband but that doesn't
mean I'd do it any where and any time.
It depends.
Best of all answers. <G>
Sandra
Deanne Brown
Hi all,
My 12 year old son, Riley, began to pull away from hugs within the last
year at the exact same time that he was going through puberty. He has
grown 8 inches in one year and has literally changed before my eyes.
Before this change he liked to hug and be hugged but never as much as my
two younger children. My 10 year old son, Casey, loves to cuddle and so
does my 5 year old daughter, Maggie. I think that it is partly a
personality difference with my kids but it is hard to be sure. Riley is
my oldest and we were not living an unschooled life for the first 8
years of his life. Unfortunately, he was in school and had to live with
rules. My two younger children have had the advantage of living a much
more free life and it really does show at times.
However, I have noticed an interesting change in Riley lately. He has
his first girlfriend. He is very affectionate and cuddly with her and
it seems to have made him a little more open to hugs from me.
Also, Riley just experienced his first kiss and he shared that
information with both my husband and me. I thought that it was
absolutely wonderful that he could share something so private and life
changing with us. I never told my mom and dad about my first kiss. He
also told me jokingly that he only saw half of the movie the other night
when he went out with some friends to see a movie. At first I was a
little confused and then I quickly realized what he was telling me. He
and his girlfriend were busy "making out". Again, he shared something
with me that I would have never told my parents and I am sure that most
kids don't share with their parents. I am very grateful that he can be
so open with us.
This open communication helps lessen my worries. Yes, I have to admit
that I am a little worried. Riley's girlfriend is 14 and is very
serious about Riley. I realize that it is not about age, it is more
about maturity, but every once in a while I become conflicted. I think
I am still accepting how much he has changed in the last year. I am
also worried about how serious the relationship seems. I guess I
expected all of this to happen a little later in life. Has anyone had
any similar experiences? I would really like to hear some of your
thoughts on this.
Thanks
Deanne
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My 12 year old son, Riley, began to pull away from hugs within the last
year at the exact same time that he was going through puberty. He has
grown 8 inches in one year and has literally changed before my eyes.
Before this change he liked to hug and be hugged but never as much as my
two younger children. My 10 year old son, Casey, loves to cuddle and so
does my 5 year old daughter, Maggie. I think that it is partly a
personality difference with my kids but it is hard to be sure. Riley is
my oldest and we were not living an unschooled life for the first 8
years of his life. Unfortunately, he was in school and had to live with
rules. My two younger children have had the advantage of living a much
more free life and it really does show at times.
However, I have noticed an interesting change in Riley lately. He has
his first girlfriend. He is very affectionate and cuddly with her and
it seems to have made him a little more open to hugs from me.
Also, Riley just experienced his first kiss and he shared that
information with both my husband and me. I thought that it was
absolutely wonderful that he could share something so private and life
changing with us. I never told my mom and dad about my first kiss. He
also told me jokingly that he only saw half of the movie the other night
when he went out with some friends to see a movie. At first I was a
little confused and then I quickly realized what he was telling me. He
and his girlfriend were busy "making out". Again, he shared something
with me that I would have never told my parents and I am sure that most
kids don't share with their parents. I am very grateful that he can be
so open with us.
This open communication helps lessen my worries. Yes, I have to admit
that I am a little worried. Riley's girlfriend is 14 and is very
serious about Riley. I realize that it is not about age, it is more
about maturity, but every once in a while I become conflicted. I think
I am still accepting how much he has changed in the last year. I am
also worried about how serious the relationship seems. I guess I
expected all of this to happen a little later in life. Has anyone had
any similar experiences? I would really like to hear some of your
thoughts on this.
Thanks
Deanne
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Unschooling&w1=Unschooling&w2=Attac
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nting&c=5&s=104&.sig=1vVhu6yG9zKP6tD21Ys9qw> magazine
Single
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Paula Sjogerman
On Feb 3, 2006, at 1:51 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
and I'm hoping it's all a phase.
Paula
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that the
child is already someone today."
>> Thanks for sharing that Paula! Can you talk more about it?Yup, no hugs and no talking about him online <g>. It's all related
>
> She *CAN* and if she wanted to she would've. Let's not draw people
> out for more than they care to volunteer, okay?
and I'm hoping it's all a phase.
Paula
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that the
child is already someone today."
Gold Standard
Thanks Paula. I didn't mean to pry...I completely respect your respect of
your guy!
I was just real interested.
Thanks again,
Jacki
Yup, no hugs and no talking about him online <g>. It's all related
and I'm hoping it's all a phase.
Paula
your guy!
I was just real interested.
Thanks again,
Jacki
Yup, no hugs and no talking about him online <g>. It's all related
and I'm hoping it's all a phase.
Paula
Panda baby
I haven't posted before, but have been reading on this group for about 5 months. I started homeschooling with my daughter at the start of our school year in February. After a couple of months started moving towards unschooling without knowing yet there was a name. Found Sandra's sites and some unschooling books and was emboldened to continue.
My husband and I come from a very strict upbringing parenting-wise. So it's the other half of the unschooling lifestyle that has been very different to anything we know or have seen in others around us. For the last couple of months we have started to challenge our own ideas with regard to the big 3 - eating, tv, sleeping. And we have been reading, thinking, talking, changing, watching and waiting.
I need some advice or perhaps encouragement (but in a helpful informative way, not just pat on the back you're doing great way). I am wrecked. We have 4 children - 1.5 yrs (R), 3.5 yrs (E), 5 yrs (W) and 6.5 yrs (H). When we decided to stop enforcing bed time at a particular time, things were going well for a while. Before then, R, E, and W would go to bed at 7 -7.30 and H would stay up til 8.30-9 ish. R still goes off to bed sleepy at around 7.30-8 (we went into daylight savings too). W was the only one to say he was tired and could we take him up to bed on some nights (he likes to sleep in his own bed). H will stay up until the last parent goes to bed because she enjoys that atmosphere I think, and though she wants to stay up later she doesn't want to be up alone (She doesn't want to stay up with just W and E, but I'm sure this will change as she gets older).
But E is this incredible night owl. One night it was 2.30am before I was able to gently convince her to come lie down in bed with me for a bit when she finally went to sleep. She probably could have happily stayed awake longer (she wanted to watch another movie) - but I couldn't.
I understand we have done awful damage that we have to undo now and that we are still deschooling. And we are still gaining their trust that this process of listening to your own body and recognising when you are tired will continue forever, but in the meantime they are kind of gorging on late nights.
In the beginning I tried to stay up as late as I could every night so they could experience feeling tired and have experience choosing to go to sleep. But it doesn't really seem to be working out that way. H, W, and E are still eager to be up when I want to go to bed somewhere between 10 and 11 - and it just kind of seems that they go to bed when we do rather than finding their own sleepy time. At times gently talking about how tired they look if it's obvious (tired eyes, yawning, etc) and then the next day maybe if they got cranky trying to piece it together doesn't make any difference. And if there is something on in the morning to get to so everyone doesn't have the time to sleep in until they wake up naturally - it makes getting there on time hard when night owls want to be still sleeping. And I am up from when the little one R wakes up, usually before everyone else.
I think we have come so far along this road and have changed so much, but some of the benefits seem so far off when I am tired.
Is this all to be expected? Will this only take a few more weeks before the kids relax into it more? Are we going about this all wrong?
My husband and I come from a very strict upbringing parenting-wise. So it's the other half of the unschooling lifestyle that has been very different to anything we know or have seen in others around us. For the last couple of months we have started to challenge our own ideas with regard to the big 3 - eating, tv, sleeping. And we have been reading, thinking, talking, changing, watching and waiting.
I need some advice or perhaps encouragement (but in a helpful informative way, not just pat on the back you're doing great way). I am wrecked. We have 4 children - 1.5 yrs (R), 3.5 yrs (E), 5 yrs (W) and 6.5 yrs (H). When we decided to stop enforcing bed time at a particular time, things were going well for a while. Before then, R, E, and W would go to bed at 7 -7.30 and H would stay up til 8.30-9 ish. R still goes off to bed sleepy at around 7.30-8 (we went into daylight savings too). W was the only one to say he was tired and could we take him up to bed on some nights (he likes to sleep in his own bed). H will stay up until the last parent goes to bed because she enjoys that atmosphere I think, and though she wants to stay up later she doesn't want to be up alone (She doesn't want to stay up with just W and E, but I'm sure this will change as she gets older).
But E is this incredible night owl. One night it was 2.30am before I was able to gently convince her to come lie down in bed with me for a bit when she finally went to sleep. She probably could have happily stayed awake longer (she wanted to watch another movie) - but I couldn't.
I understand we have done awful damage that we have to undo now and that we are still deschooling. And we are still gaining their trust that this process of listening to your own body and recognising when you are tired will continue forever, but in the meantime they are kind of gorging on late nights.
In the beginning I tried to stay up as late as I could every night so they could experience feeling tired and have experience choosing to go to sleep. But it doesn't really seem to be working out that way. H, W, and E are still eager to be up when I want to go to bed somewhere between 10 and 11 - and it just kind of seems that they go to bed when we do rather than finding their own sleepy time. At times gently talking about how tired they look if it's obvious (tired eyes, yawning, etc) and then the next day maybe if they got cranky trying to piece it together doesn't make any difference. And if there is something on in the morning to get to so everyone doesn't have the time to sleep in until they wake up naturally - it makes getting there on time hard when night owls want to be still sleeping. And I am up from when the little one R wakes up, usually before everyone else.
I think we have come so far along this road and have changed so much, but some of the benefits seem so far off when I am tired.
Is this all to be expected? Will this only take a few more weeks before the kids relax into it more? Are we going about this all wrong?
plaidpanties666
"Panda baby" <annie@...> wrote:
I think you've misunderstood about bedtimes or gotten confused. There's something in between "making" kids go to bed at a time that's convenient for you and the whole family pulling your collective hair out because no-one's getting enough sleep. If the kids will go to bed when you do - even mostly - then make a nice, getting-ready-for-bed routine at least for yourself. Let going to bed be something warm and comfortable rather than something to fight and stress about. There's nothing whatsoever wrong with having a regular schedule! I work out of the home and have a "bedtime" of my own, and most nights my 9yo comes and snuggles with me for awhile before I fall asleep. Then she either goes to her own bed or gets up and does something else.
Your kids are younger and will need more help if they're up, but if just one of them is up (other than the 1yo) how much help does that child need? Can you set up snacks and a movie and settle down with the rest?
---Meredith
>> In the beginning I tried to stay up as late as I could every night so they could experience feeling tired and have experience choosing to go to sleep. But it doesn't really seem to be working out that way. H, W, and E are still eager to be up when I want to go to bed somewhere between 10 and 11 - and it just kind of seems that they go to bed when we do rather than finding their own sleepy time.*************
I think you've misunderstood about bedtimes or gotten confused. There's something in between "making" kids go to bed at a time that's convenient for you and the whole family pulling your collective hair out because no-one's getting enough sleep. If the kids will go to bed when you do - even mostly - then make a nice, getting-ready-for-bed routine at least for yourself. Let going to bed be something warm and comfortable rather than something to fight and stress about. There's nothing whatsoever wrong with having a regular schedule! I work out of the home and have a "bedtime" of my own, and most nights my 9yo comes and snuggles with me for awhile before I fall asleep. Then she either goes to her own bed or gets up and does something else.
Your kids are younger and will need more help if they're up, but if just one of them is up (other than the 1yo) how much help does that child need? Can you set up snacks and a movie and settle down with the rest?
---Meredith