Re: [AlwaysLearning] Religion and unschooling - long
Lisa H
How 'religion' works in our house:
I have not been active in my religion since leaving my parents home as a teenager. When my kids were born I occasionally brought them to local services that were very kid friendly as they were interested in their heritage and cultural background. They recognize they are not mainstream as we never celebrate christmas. They've enjoyed the trappings of family ritual gatherings for hannukah and passover, but that was the extent of my direct involvement unless asked by the kids otherwise. My older dd did attend a year of hebrew school at her request when she was 7. But declined continuing when asked. Both dd's have asked to go to services occasionally over the years. When this occurs we try different temples. Sometimes we like the services, sometimes not. We didn't find one that really appealed enough to us all to warrant the expense and time and energy of joining. At one point i attempted to start an Havarah amongst the homeschooling families. Didn't get off the ground. We are fortunately that we do have an extensive homeschooling community that can function similarly to a church or spiritual community. When asked, I explain what i know about various religions. We've explored together different ideas, faiths and cultures. We've held circle ceremonies and seasonal celebrations with homeschooling families. I've attended budhist meditations over the years and so my kids are familiar with local monastery and some budhist concepts.
Two years ago my older dd asked to become bat mitzvah. My initial response was, "great, we'll have a circle ceremony in our yard with our friends acknowledging your right of passage as an adult." She didn't want this. I offered a gathering led by Rabbi/Cantor friend of ours, again in yard or community center. She didn't want this. She wanted to have a bat mitzvah in a temple. So our journey began. We started once again going to a variety of local temples. She rejected one after another for various reasons, eg they required at least two years of hebrew school or simply didn't feel right to her. We found a temple (ironically) one block from our home. it is only open in the summer months so it doesn't interfere with her ski season (she's on a race team which practices and races on weekends). She is learning to read hebrew at her own pace independently with me at home. It is entirely self driven. I refuse to push or plead to get her to do this. It's something she wants. She has decided she will read her haftorah. The congregation we joined is so small with seniors they are thrilled to have a young family and have no prescribed agenda so it's working well for us. Of course there are internal politics which are atrocious - but this is the reason i rejected institutionalized religion in the first place. I put up with it to assist my dd in obtaining her goals. We've befriended several seniors and this has been a gift in our home. Some seniors are mentoring my dd and i am always learning new things as well. We've also befriended the student rabbi and his young family and they're enlightened and amazed by our family style. Its been a very satisfying friendship. though i will admit that it's still difficult for me...it takes some effort to find messages beneath the obvious text. Fortunately the Rabbi is open minded.
So my dd will have a bat mitzvah this June. She will read a haftorah and we'll have a dance party with dj following (what can i say - she's an all american girl). What she does from there is entirely up to her. But my 7yo has already announced that she wants to become a bat mitzvah. So there you have it. No pressure, no obligation. They are interested in their cultural past and this has brought them to inquire about their religious history as well.
Lisa
I have not been active in my religion since leaving my parents home as a teenager. When my kids were born I occasionally brought them to local services that were very kid friendly as they were interested in their heritage and cultural background. They recognize they are not mainstream as we never celebrate christmas. They've enjoyed the trappings of family ritual gatherings for hannukah and passover, but that was the extent of my direct involvement unless asked by the kids otherwise. My older dd did attend a year of hebrew school at her request when she was 7. But declined continuing when asked. Both dd's have asked to go to services occasionally over the years. When this occurs we try different temples. Sometimes we like the services, sometimes not. We didn't find one that really appealed enough to us all to warrant the expense and time and energy of joining. At one point i attempted to start an Havarah amongst the homeschooling families. Didn't get off the ground. We are fortunately that we do have an extensive homeschooling community that can function similarly to a church or spiritual community. When asked, I explain what i know about various religions. We've explored together different ideas, faiths and cultures. We've held circle ceremonies and seasonal celebrations with homeschooling families. I've attended budhist meditations over the years and so my kids are familiar with local monastery and some budhist concepts.
Two years ago my older dd asked to become bat mitzvah. My initial response was, "great, we'll have a circle ceremony in our yard with our friends acknowledging your right of passage as an adult." She didn't want this. I offered a gathering led by Rabbi/Cantor friend of ours, again in yard or community center. She didn't want this. She wanted to have a bat mitzvah in a temple. So our journey began. We started once again going to a variety of local temples. She rejected one after another for various reasons, eg they required at least two years of hebrew school or simply didn't feel right to her. We found a temple (ironically) one block from our home. it is only open in the summer months so it doesn't interfere with her ski season (she's on a race team which practices and races on weekends). She is learning to read hebrew at her own pace independently with me at home. It is entirely self driven. I refuse to push or plead to get her to do this. It's something she wants. She has decided she will read her haftorah. The congregation we joined is so small with seniors they are thrilled to have a young family and have no prescribed agenda so it's working well for us. Of course there are internal politics which are atrocious - but this is the reason i rejected institutionalized religion in the first place. I put up with it to assist my dd in obtaining her goals. We've befriended several seniors and this has been a gift in our home. Some seniors are mentoring my dd and i am always learning new things as well. We've also befriended the student rabbi and his young family and they're enlightened and amazed by our family style. Its been a very satisfying friendship. though i will admit that it's still difficult for me...it takes some effort to find messages beneath the obvious text. Fortunately the Rabbi is open minded.
So my dd will have a bat mitzvah this June. She will read a haftorah and we'll have a dance party with dj following (what can i say - she's an all american girl). What she does from there is entirely up to her. But my 7yo has already announced that she wants to become a bat mitzvah. So there you have it. No pressure, no obligation. They are interested in their cultural past and this has brought them to inquire about their religious history as well.
Lisa
----- Original Message -----
From: Arlynn Liebster
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 8:43 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Religion and unschooling
I have a question. I don't know how you post here, so I will ask my question
and if its not really the way you do things, that's ok, feel free to tell
me, ok?
As unschoolers, how do you handle your religion and your kids? Does anyone
impart your spiritual wisdom to your family? If yes, how do you go about it?
-arlynn
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