young homebody
mamavegg
I'm fairly new to this group, though have been silently soaking
things in for 5-6 weeks or so. My family is rather new to
unschooling, but I must admit the idea has been nudging around in my
brain for a couple of years. We are lovin' it.
I did want to hear some of your thoughts on one thing. I have an 8
year old son who has never been to school. He is happily
unschooling, with lots of interests including video gaming, reading,
spontaneous role play acting, music, his animals and any number of
other things. He loves spending time playing and talking with his
dad and I, and occasionally hangs out with some of the neighbor kids
his age or older. He knows he is welcome to invite someone over
anytime, and does this on occasion. He did a lot more when he was 5-
6 or so; a couple of kids ended up practically living at our house
for a year. We have participated in some homeschooling activities
over the past couple of years, mostly parties and bowling or roller
skating type of activities. He is now not interested in going, for
the most part, to any group-type things, no matter what the activity
is. I try to present them in a light manner, and accept his interest
level (or lack of). Yet I worry that he is not interacting with
enough other people in the world. (I know, what is "enough"?) He is
at ease socially with family, friends, and even new people we meet,
no lack of social skills there. We spend a lot of time at home, but
do go out on usually at least a weekly basis to the zoo or museums,
new restaurants, galleries, happenings around town....
He is happy. Maybe just a small group kind of guy? Or should I be
nudging him out a bit more?
Deanna
things in for 5-6 weeks or so. My family is rather new to
unschooling, but I must admit the idea has been nudging around in my
brain for a couple of years. We are lovin' it.
I did want to hear some of your thoughts on one thing. I have an 8
year old son who has never been to school. He is happily
unschooling, with lots of interests including video gaming, reading,
spontaneous role play acting, music, his animals and any number of
other things. He loves spending time playing and talking with his
dad and I, and occasionally hangs out with some of the neighbor kids
his age or older. He knows he is welcome to invite someone over
anytime, and does this on occasion. He did a lot more when he was 5-
6 or so; a couple of kids ended up practically living at our house
for a year. We have participated in some homeschooling activities
over the past couple of years, mostly parties and bowling or roller
skating type of activities. He is now not interested in going, for
the most part, to any group-type things, no matter what the activity
is. I try to present them in a light manner, and accept his interest
level (or lack of). Yet I worry that he is not interacting with
enough other people in the world. (I know, what is "enough"?) He is
at ease socially with family, friends, and even new people we meet,
no lack of social skills there. We spend a lot of time at home, but
do go out on usually at least a weekly basis to the zoo or museums,
new restaurants, galleries, happenings around town....
He is happy. Maybe just a small group kind of guy? Or should I be
nudging him out a bit more?
Deanna
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 23, 2006, at 3:38 PM, mamavegg wrote:
He may have "seasons" in which he wants to socialize more. He may
eventually develop an interest that requires that he go to some
outside activity on a regular basis - karate, zoo-keeping, who knows?
But if he's calm and happy now, hanging around with you and with the
balance of time spent at home and out, then HURRAY! Enjoy it.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> He is happy. Maybe just a small group kind of guy? Or should I beSounds great to me.
> nudging him out a bit more?
He may have "seasons" in which he wants to socialize more. He may
eventually develop an interest that requires that he go to some
outside activity on a regular basis - karate, zoo-keeping, who knows?
But if he's calm and happy now, hanging around with you and with the
balance of time spent at home and out, then HURRAY! Enjoy it.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
On Jan 23, 2006, at 4:38 PM, mamavegg wrote:
Marty has gone back and forth over his life between having one best
friend, having no real friends but immersing himself in Lego and
games, and then having several friends, and then holing up again, but
not in any kind of sad or needy way, just inward again. Marty is
also the kid of person who enjoys being alone. He doesn't mind going
to a movie alone or eating alone. I find that horribly sad and
WRONG, because I myself am needy. <g> If I have to eat alone in
public, the cost of the meal goes up $4 or so because if I don't have
a book with me I will have to buy a magazine or I just cannot
physically sit and eat. I can get drive-through food, but still I
have to read something (usually there's something in the car,
though). I have gone to movies alone twice in my life and both times
felt pitifully alone and unloved. Yeah, that is MY problem.
Somewhere back there in the depths of my childhood I defined myself
as "right" when I had a friend and "loser" when I wasn't with someone
else, maybe. Or maybe I'm just a classic case of what they call
"extrovert." I don't know if it's good or pathological that I can't
go to lunch and a movie by myself.
Keith, that person from whom Marty got so much of his genetic makeup,
can very happily go to lunch by himself. He can go to a movie alone
and has done so LOTS of times, and very happily. So I see it as
fine in Keith (though it took a few years to really believe he wasn't
hiding that he was feeling like me) but I still worry that Marty
NEEDS more people. He doesn't. And on those occasions when he
does, he makes a few phone calls and gets up a bowling party or movie-
and-dinner group, and goes.
Don't attach yourself to either stage of your son's activities, if
you can help it, and accept (if you can) that he might go through
year-or-two long periods of being one way or another.
Sandra
> He is happy. Maybe just a small group kind of guy? Or should I beLet happy dogs play, I think.
> nudging him out a bit more?
Marty has gone back and forth over his life between having one best
friend, having no real friends but immersing himself in Lego and
games, and then having several friends, and then holing up again, but
not in any kind of sad or needy way, just inward again. Marty is
also the kid of person who enjoys being alone. He doesn't mind going
to a movie alone or eating alone. I find that horribly sad and
WRONG, because I myself am needy. <g> If I have to eat alone in
public, the cost of the meal goes up $4 or so because if I don't have
a book with me I will have to buy a magazine or I just cannot
physically sit and eat. I can get drive-through food, but still I
have to read something (usually there's something in the car,
though). I have gone to movies alone twice in my life and both times
felt pitifully alone and unloved. Yeah, that is MY problem.
Somewhere back there in the depths of my childhood I defined myself
as "right" when I had a friend and "loser" when I wasn't with someone
else, maybe. Or maybe I'm just a classic case of what they call
"extrovert." I don't know if it's good or pathological that I can't
go to lunch and a movie by myself.
Keith, that person from whom Marty got so much of his genetic makeup,
can very happily go to lunch by himself. He can go to a movie alone
and has done so LOTS of times, and very happily. So I see it as
fine in Keith (though it took a few years to really believe he wasn't
hiding that he was feeling like me) but I still worry that Marty
NEEDS more people. He doesn't. And on those occasions when he
does, he makes a few phone calls and gets up a bowling party or movie-
and-dinner group, and goes.
Don't attach yourself to either stage of your son's activities, if
you can help it, and accept (if you can) that he might go through
year-or-two long periods of being one way or another.
Sandra
mother_bhaer
>Hi Deanna. I just thought I'd let you know that my son took the whole
> He is happy. Maybe just a small group kind of guy? Or should I be
> nudging him out a bit more?
>
> Deanna
>
year off last year. He is normally a very outgoing boy, but, for some
reason, he didn't really want to do much of anything last year. So,
we stayed home. He is 11 this year and he's decided he wants to do
more now. So, we're looking into things that interest him. For us,
it was just a break to recharge. Your kid sounds great!
Terri