wifetovegman2002

...they're going to want stickers and rewards to go with it.

My always radically-unschooled child, Aaron, almost 8, asked me for an
incentive chart for learning to read.

Apparently he has been talking to his school-in-a-box best friend and
siblings, and found out their Mom has made these charts for them to
record how many books they read, and when they get to certain amounts
they get a reward. So now his friends are carrying books everywhere
and not playing much because they have to read so many books by a
certain date for each reward. The 10 year old was actually reading on
New Years Eve while we were over there instead of playing with the kids.

Even at the park yesterday, two of the older kids brought books and
read rather than play, because they are trying to read a certain
number of books by Friday to get their reward, and one was trying to
negotiate with the mom about getting their reward on Friday even if
they aren't quite through with the book.

It had never occured to Aaron that some kids get rewards for doing
stuff they wouldn't do anyways, and I guess the novelty of the idea
appeals to him?

So how should I approach this? He isn't letting go, in fact, he asks
at least a couple times a day since New Years if I have made his
"reading chart" for him yet.

He has decided his "reward" should be an ice cream cone from Ben &
Jerry's on Fridays for doing his lessons (of which he has none because
I don't try to teach him to read, or anything else). His sister works
at B&J, and he can have an ice cream cone any time he goes there. So
it isn't anything that he couldn't get just for walking into the store.

I don't have any reading curriculum stuff even in the house, except
for an old copy of 100 EZ Lessons, and I don't even know where that is
right now, so I am not sure what he thinks his "lessons" should look like.

So do I make him a chart and give him some stickers, and let him
decide when to put them on and for what reasons? Do I print out
phonics worksheets from the internet for him to fiddle with for a few
days? I can't imagine this lasting more than a week or two. *I*
certainly don't want to be dragged back into that world of stickers
and rewards.

Anyone else ever had a child want to explore the school-at-home world
a little bit?

~Susan in VA
wifetovegman

Ren Allen

"
So how should I approach this? He isn't letting go, in fact, he asks
at least a couple times a day since New Years if I have made his
"reading chart" for him yet."

I can only tell you how I might approach it...
I would be really fine with telling a child why this made me
uncomfortable, that I don't believe in giving rewards to people for
doing anything and that I would rather buy them an ice cream when they
wanted one.

Then, to fulfill the desire, I'd offer to paint a big tree on the wall
(or something similar) and let them hang leaves with names of books
they'd read, so the child could keep track if that made them happy.
I'd offer to go for ice cream every Friday (if that's the day that is
mutually agreeable) but not to reward the reading, just to enjoy time
together. I'd tell them they can reward themselves as often as they
wish, and I'll help them keep track of whatever accomplishemnts they
wish to keep track of...but I will not be the one deciding to reward
or not.

I don't know if that would help or not.....

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

nellebelle

>>>>>>>>>>>>Ren
learninginfreedom.com>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I followed this link, I got a pop up window that I needed to install Napster to play a song. Is that from your site?

Mary Ellen

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Daniel MacIntyre

sounds like you got hit by a spyware app to me. I checked it and got her
site with no popups - of course I don't use Microsoft Internet Explorer and
keep my browser pretty tightly locked down...

On 1/10/06, nellebelle <nellebelle@...> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>Ren
> learninginfreedom.com>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
> When I followed this link, I got a pop up window that I needed to install
> Napster to play a song. Is that from your site?
>
> Mary Ellen
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )

"When the solution is simple, God is answering."
Albert Einstein


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jo

My seven year old last fall and again over Christmas informed me that
he wanted to do school every day. So basically, we just sit at the
table and I have some planned activities (board games, those little
books with little words that he can color and put together, books to
read out loud) and let him suggest or if he can't think of anything,
I'll show him what I have. For whatever reason it worked for him. He
even started writing out math facts!? (Because he was getting
frustrated by having to add in his head and I mentioned how some
people just memorize math facts.) I also have a lot of those little
books with little words that he can read, he picks those up a lot
because he likes to read and they come with stickers you can put in
the front cover after you read the book, your child might enjoy that.

I think when a child isn't exposed to school's stuff it down your
throat style of learning sometimes they might want to do some of those
type activities just for fun as long as we keep it fun, it stays fun.

Today he chose not to do school and built and Island of Sodor for his
brother.

jo in indiana

Jo

He was asking for addition and subraction problems, he's loved to add
and subtract since he was small. Also, I'm not making him sit at the
table with me, he can leave if he wants to.

--- In [email protected], "Jo"
<wildflowerpowerwoman@y...> wrote:
>
> My seven year old last fall and again over Christmas informed me
that
> he wanted to do school every day. So basically, we just sit at the
> table and I have some planned activities (board games, those little
> books with little words that he can color and put together, books
to
> read out loud) and let him suggest or if he can't think of
anything,
> I'll show him what I have. For whatever reason it worked for him.
He
> even started writing out math facts!? (Because he was getting
> frustrated by having to add in his head and I mentioned how some
> people just memorize math facts.) I also have a lot of those little
> books with little words that he can read, he picks those up a lot
> because he likes to read and they come with stickers you can put in
> the front cover after you read the book, your child might enjoy
that.
>
> I think when a child isn't exposed to school's stuff it down your
> throat style of learning sometimes they might want to do some of
those
> type activities just for fun as long as we keep it fun, it stays
fun.
>
> Today he chose not to do school and built and Island of Sodor for
his
> brother.
>
> jo in indiana
>

[email protected]

I'd make him one, or make one with him. Set it up however he wants it to look, maybe like a calendar with the days of the week across the top, ending with Friday because that's the day he wants to do the ice cream. Buy him a little pack of stickers that he can put on himself, ask him what kind of reading he has planned and gather some of it with him, if he needs help. I don't think the reward is really the point, since it's something he can have anyway, so I wouldn't worry about that aspect of it.
I'd consider it more like playing around with ways of collecting and displaying data. It also seems tied into Erikson's 4th stage of development, Industry vs. Inferiority, and as I recall it's pretty normal for kids to want to track achievements in some ways at that age, to have some sort of concrete representation of what they've done, especially when it's a task done over a period of time. The whole badges concept in scouting feeds right into this need, for example. Rain used to make up charts with her daily and weekly routine just to be able to mark X in the little box, no reward required.
When Rain did these charts, they never lasted very long (although they did evolve into lists, which she still utilizes) and I never made a big deal out of them. They were fun for a while, but kind of a hassle long-term
Dar
-- "wifetovegman2002" <wifeto.vegman@...> wrote:
So how should I approach this? He isn't letting go, in fact, he asks
at least a couple times a day since New Years if I have made his
"reading chart" for him yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.xanga.com/freeformlife


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 10, 2006, at 8:18 AM, wifetovegman2002 wrote:

> ...they're going to want stickers and rewards to go with it.

============================

Marty said a couple of days ago that he'd always wanted a gold star--
to get "a Gold Star."
What he had gotten was a candy bar with an overwrap that said "You're
Appreciated! Thank you!" and the whole back was of that theme, saying
that the Amount/Serving was Dedication 100%
Ambition 100%
Commitment 100%... Excellence, Positive Attitude, Success...

And they handed it to him for answering a question at a training
session. And he said the question he answered was something they had
just told him moments before, about what percentage of people would
change grocery stores if...[something] and he knew the answer. He's
working at a grocery store.

And at the next training session he answered some question and got a
$5 gift certficate.

Though it reminds me of giving a toddler an M&M for peeing in the
potty, Marty was amused and happy that for doing some simple thing he
got loot.

-=-So do I make him a chart and give him some stickers, and let him
decide when to put them on and for what reasons? Do I print out
phonics worksheets from the internet for him to fiddle with for a few
days? I can't imagine this lasting more than a week or two. *I*
certainly don't want to be dragged back into that world of stickers
and rewards. -=-

Maybe give him a choice each day of reading aloud (at least words he
already knows, or a simple story he already knows, maybe one he
dictates and you write down) or of doing a worksheet or of (something
else... copying words from a book? I don't know) and give him a
different colored star for each thing. If you have stars, I mean.
Maybe that would be fun. Maybe he'll build up to wanting one star
for each thing (like doing three things in one day). I doubt it will
last long either, and indulging him will probable help him
understand how little a deal it is better than refusing him.

They're just stars. It's not a comparison to other kids. It's not
against his will.

-=-Anyone else ever had a child want to explore the school-at-home world
a little bit?-=-

Holly. Holly wanted school and I said I didn't, but she said she
really did, so we made her a folder and I decided (for myself) that
every other subject was going to have to be music or art. <g> And
though I think we did it three days (not straight in a row, but all
in the same week), she never made it more than half an hour. Once
she did some handwriting practice for a while (while I read a book at
a table in front of the little table she was using) and after maybe
fifteen minutes she said "Time for recess!" and ran out to play.
She figured out it was boring. I would have done more, but luckily
she was over the urge by then. I think she was probably seven but
maybe eight.

Sandra

Melissa

Emily just turned seven, and on Tuesday asked for some schoolwork to
do. I think she misses the regularity of the homeschooling schedule,
and she also likes to know the start and beginning of a task. She
enjoys workbooks and such. So on Wednesday I printed out some of our
easy math sheets, she did what she wanted and felt free to walk away
when it got 'boring'. ;-)

I did find a great kids sudoku site and printed those out yesterday.
I didn't even hand them to the kids, just started working on one of
mine. After seconds they began asking to do some of their own...and
we probably spent an hour working on them. I was pleased to spend so
much time with them doing it, and amazed at how long they spent doing
it and how good they were at it. Thanks for the suggestion Sandra!

melissa
>On Jan 13, 2006, at 11:37 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
Holly. Holly wanted school and I said I didn't, but she said she
really did, so we made her a folder and I decided (for myself) that
every other subject was going to have to be music or art. <g> And
though I think we did it three days (not straight in a row, but all
in the same week), she never made it more than half an hour. Once
she did some handwriting practice for a while (while I read a book at
a table in front of the little table she was using) and after maybe
fifteen minutes she said "Time for recess!" and ran out to play.
She figured out it was boring. I would have done more, but luckily
she was over the urge by then. I think she was probably seven but
maybe eight.